John Is A Drug

Some people have coke addictions, others have nicotine or food addictions. Well, I have a John addiction and I am not alone. I've listed some behaviors that can lead to a John addiction. If you do more than 4 of these things, you too, are probably addicted to John :-)

You might have a John addiction if...

You watch him on tv and sigh

You bitch about his ex-wife, even though he isn't married to her anymore

You have John wallpaper and/or a John screen saver on your computer

You only listen to Drowning Man because he wrote it

You cried when he left Duran.

You bought two copies of Feelings Are Good and Other Lies because the covers were different

You were upset when he remarried.

You have a website dedicated to him.

You saw 9 1/2 weeks only so you could hear I Do What I Do

You have black bangles just like the ones he wore in 1985

You sighed everytime he appeared on-screen in Sugartown

The phrase "It's a fucking nightmare" comes out of your mouth at least once a day

You wish you were his bass when he's playing it

You dyed your hair dark red because his was that color once

You have pictures of him on your bedroom walls

You know every single song on Feelings Are Good and Other Lies by heart

You waited for 6 hours+ outside in the cold hoping to meet him

Speaking seemed like such a difficult task when you met him because you were mesmerized by his presence

You have or plan to name your child either Nigel, John, or Taylor

You own every single album of his

You skip class/work because you know he's going to be on television

You like James Bond because he does

June 20th is a holy day

You've seen Serious at least 40 times

You get annoyed when the camera is focused on Simon 90% of the time during video-taped concerts

You only wear Adidas because he does

One of your stuffed animals was/is named after him

You think his daughter Atlanta is the most beautiful child in the world and you believe that Amanda DeCadenet had nothing to do with it

You think Winter Marches On is the best song on the Notorious album

You drool watching anything (with the exception of MTV Unplugged) with him in it

When he's tied to the car in Wild Boys or lipsyncs "hey child" in Come Undone you watch the video in slow motion

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