Defense
Spike winced at the sounds of gunshots and covered his ears. He understood that Xander wanted to be better prepared to deal with the Initiative but he really hated the sound and scent of a gun. The scent would probably linger on Xander long after he had finished practicing, gun oil and powder. A slick, metallic scent that didn’t seem right on his Xander.
But he knew Xander needed better protection for himself. The boy could probably take any human on in hand-to-hand but the soldiers didn’t play fair. Tazers and tranq guns and they just couldn’t let them get that close to Xander, couldn’t risk the baby.
So when they changed their car over Xander had arranged for weapons. He’d taken a few shots with the 9mm, and would use it if he had to but he found the whole idea of guns…distasteful.
If you were going to kill something it should be done close up. Killing wasn’t something that should be neat and clean, it was messy and violent. Maybe that was what was wrong with the world, too many people had forgotten that.
Still he had to admit watching Xander practice with several guns was a sight to behold. He could handle the small .22 that went into an ankle holster, the other 9mm, even a fucking glock with armor piercing bullets. The soldier in Xander was in the driver’s seat and Spike just loved it when he was so domineering. This was a sight the Scoobies hardly ever saw. Xander had pulled it out during the final fight with the Mayor last year but it always seemed like his friends forgot how deadly he could be.
They had other equipment to check out, but Spike was leaving it all to Xander while he kept watch. They were out in the middle of the desert, having finally slipped out of Las Vegas after picking up the laptop, car and Xander’s toys. Spike still wasn’t sure where to go, and Xander hadn’t had time to check the weapons so they had stopped.
“Here Spike, put these in your duster pockets.”
“Huh?” He looked down at the small round things in confusion. “Xan? What are these?”
“Just some smoke grenades. I was afraid to get the flash ones, the sounds would hurt you more than any human but with these you don’t need to breath so you’ll be okay. Just hollar at me if you’re going to set one off so I can hold my breath.”
Spike just shook his head and put the grenades in various pockets. “What no gas mask for yourself pet?”
“It should be in the box with the two Kevlar vests. I just really don’t feel like testing it right now.”
“Xander! Kevlar vests? I don’t need one of those, vampire.”
His mate looked over at him in all seriousness. “Yes you do. A round to the chest would put you out long enough for them to get to me. You are our first line of defense Spike. If they take you out no matter how many guns or tricks up my sleeves I have they’ll get me eventually. I’m just hoping they don’t find us again but we have to be prepared.”
Spike gave a wry grin. “Always the boy scout eh Pet?”
“Ha ha Spike. I’m sure they have merit badges for C4.”
“Fuck! Xander I know you have this love of blowing things up after you did your high school but that shit is dangerous!”
Xander just laughed and dismantled the glock, cleaning and reloading. “Don’t worry husband-mine. It’s only dangerous if the timer is in; it’s the good stuff. It could have been worse, remember I have a fondness for rocket launchers too.”
“Fucking hell Pet, I don’t know whether to run from you or shag you to death right now.” At the image in his head he actually had to adjust himself in his pants. He really loved it when Xander got this way, all powerful and confident.
Xander shook his head. “Desert shagging means sandy lube. Let’s figure out where we’re going and we can fuck on the way.”
Spike thought for a moment. “Well we could probably get to Mesquite with some hard driving, find a motel and hole up for a bit and figure things out from there; travel from Utah or Arizona either one. I’d like to go east, get as far away from the army bases as we can.”
Xander opened his mouth to say something when his cell phone rang and Spike had to laugh. He really didn’t want to know how Xander had programmed it with the Addams Family theme but it was kind of appropriate.
He laughed even harder when Xander couldn’t find the phone and had to dig though the stuff in the front seat of the car for it. He felt a swell of pride in his chest when instead of the bird he was given the two-fingered salute. His boy was learning.
“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up Blondie, we’ll see if we get a room with a single or a double at the next motel.” Xander turned his attention to the phone. “Hello? Willow?”
Spike could hear the steady stream of babble emerging form the little witch and moved closer to hear what was being said. It didn’t work, because the girl was babbling faster than the speed of light. Even Xander was having problems.
“Wills! Willow rewind that and play it back at normal speed please?”
“Goddess Xander are you two alright? I got home from classes and figured out that the…green guys had found out where you were from the tracers I left from their files. Did you have any problems?”
Spike rolled his eyes. Surely by now she’d realized they were okay, otherwise Xander would not have answered the phone. Still it was nice to know that Xander’s friends cared.
“Yeah we met up with our friends, but we managed to get out of town. We’re okay.”
“Good, that means I can yell at you now. Xander Harris what the hell were you thinking!!!”
“Huh?”
“Don’t you ‘huh’ me mister! I expect Spike to be all grrr, ‘cause you know, vampire. But you! You killed someone Xander! I read the police reports!”
Spike growled. He knew he should have killed those other two gits in the alley but at the time he was more worried about Xander than anything else. They’d have to be more careful.
“Willow its not that simple. They were attacking us, we merely protected ourselves.”
“Xander one of them was drained! That’s not protecting! That’s Spike eating the locals!”
Xander sighed and leaned up against the car and Spike felt bad that he had to deal with this. He was tempted to take the phone and talk to Red himself but he figured Xander knew what to say to the girl more than he did.
“It’s not that simple Willow…”
“Then tell me! Talk to me Xander, it’s like you’re this whole different person with Spike, one I don’t know and I hate that. We’re supposed to be friends!”
“Because you haven’t wanted to know Wills, there’s been times when it was obvious what was going on with me and you just never noticed.”
Spike wandered off to re-read one of the books they’d bought the other night. He could tell Xander was going to be a while.
****
“Red okay now?”
Xander sighed and sank down to sit by Spike on the desert floor. “I guess. I don’t know, she’s hurt and mad and I can’t blame her. But then again there is a part of me who wishes she would have noticed the changes in me before.”
Spike wrapped an arm around his shoulders and he leaned into his mate gratefully. Xander had always hated lying to Willow, but in a way it was true. They knew about the soldier memories staying but they never asked about the hyena. Just like they had never noticed he’d moved out of his parent’s basement, or that a lot of his time was spent with Spike.
“Spike? Am I that different? I mean I don’t feel that different, I’m just me, but the way Willow was reacting you’d think I’d been taken over by pod people or something.” He hated being this insecure. Unfortunately it seemed to happen a lot around his friends.
“First of all, there is no way you are just anything, get that straight in your head Pet. Are you different? Yes and no.”
Xander chuckled. “Thanks for clearing that up for me Spike.”
Spike poked him with his free hand. “Not done talking yet git. To me you’re the same; well you’ve changed a bit but time does that to people, even demon type like me no matter how much I say it doesn’t. But I can see where your mates might think it was just this overnight thing. You’ve never come out and advertised your real self Pet, you’ve hidden it behind jokes and banter. I can remember when I first started getting interested in you, I found it fascinating to watch as you shook off your clown mask when you were by yourself and become this confident person.”
Xander grinned despite his odd mood. “Is that when you were stalking me?”
“Wasn’t stalking, it was observing your enemy.”
“Right.” He felt Spike rumble in his chest as if he was keeping in a growl. “Don’t worry, I was freaked out at first but now I think it’s cute.”
“Cute! Take that back!”
“Don’t worry, it was scary at the time…well at first.”
“Yeah, well…the point is Xander that I saw the real you when the others weren’t around, and you’ve never really hidden it from me. Didn’t hide it that much from Angel, he’s just a daft git for not noticing. They’re just shocked ‘cause it’s new to them. What do you think the Watcher or Red would say if they saw you out here doing target practice and playing with smoke grenades?”
“Heh. Ask me if I was possessed again most likely.” In fact Xander really didn’t want to think about it, it had freaked Willow out enough to be reminded of the hyena. He had made a passing reference to the soldier but she hadn’t said anything and Xander didn’t volunteer. “You’re right you know.”
“Of course I am. About what Pet?”
Xander positioned himself so he could really look at Spike. “That I don’t let them see all of me. I mean just now, with Wills…I told her everything she didn’t know, about the hyena, us. But I didn’t remind her about the soldier and I really doubted she would remember. I just didn’t want to bring it up.”
Spike kissed him lightly on his temple and it made Xander feel better somehow. “If it makes you feel any better Xan, you know you’re the only one who sees the real me.”
Xander smiled. “It helps Spike, it helps.”
****
Xander woke slowly and looked blearily out the front windows. They’d been driving for two days, traveling by day and stopping at night hoping that the Initiative wouldn’t think to look for them during the daylight hours.
So far it had worked. There had been a roadblock on the boarder of Nevada but they didn’t get a second look since the sun was high and from the outside it looked like there was nothing covering their windows.
Of course it probably helped that Spike had traded in his duster for a jean jacket with pockets and was in a short-sleeved tee shirt underneath. Xander wasn’t sure if he liked the new look but he understood his vampire had done it to fit in a bit better with humans. It probably worked; Xander didn’t think he would recognize him without the leather unless he watched him get dressed.
“Hmm. Where are we?”
Spike looked over at him and Xander had a moment of weirdness seeing the vampire with sunglasses on. Necro-tempered glass was so cool. “Just about to Denver Xan. You okay?”
“Mmmm-hmm. Just tired. Are we stopping in Denver for a while?”
“Yeah Pet, we need to figure out what to do next.”
Xander shifted in the passenger seat. “Good ‘cause my ass is tired of all this driving.”
Spike reached over with one hand to run his fingers through Xander’s hair, keeping his eyes on the road the entire time. Xander leaned into the touch, mumbling happily.
“You seem to be sleeping better Love.”
Xander opened one eye to look at his mate. “Well of course I am…someone insists on staying awake and soothes me out of my nightmares. You know you’re going to have to sleep soon.”
“I’ll sleep when we get to Denver, get us checked in. You need the rest Xander, you know that.”
Xander crossed his arms over his chest. “Hmp. Not gonna be a damsel in distress, no matter how knocked up I am. We’re equals and you need rest as much as I do.”
Spike laughed. “Pet I don’t know of any damsel in distress that is as well armed as you are right now. You make that Linda Hamilton woman from the second Terminator movie look like she’s going to a tea party.”
“As long as we’re straight that me being pregnant is not going to effect my masculinity we’re okay.”
Despite his words Xander drifted in and out of sleep the rest of the way into Denver. He figured he’d keep watch while Spike got some sleep. The sun was just setting as he checked them into the cheap motel. They had the money for something better, but were trying to keep a low profile. Besides it wasn’t one of those places that rented by the hour, it just had hideous purple bedspreads and décor.
“Fucking hell Xander! I’ll be more than happy to sleep, the less time spent with my eyes open in this place the better!”
“It could be worse Spike, there could be tassels; and at least this place seems clean, the bathroom looks okay.”
“Still, purple?”
Xander started unpacking a few things from one of his bags, they hadn’t even bothered to bring everything in. “It’s a theme hotel chain ad purple is supposed to be the color of royalty. At least the outside isn’t purple. See, that would be worse.”
An hour later and Spike was asleep while Xander answered yet another email from Willow. He felt like writing her ad saying, ‘See! This is why I never said anything, I didn’t feel like becoming one of your projects!’ But in the end he answered her questions, mainly because he knew she really cared for him and was worried.
Between her contacts and Giles’s though they had a large list of people that would be able to handle medical care of a sort for a male pregnancy. Which was really surprising, he didn’t think it happened that often. And he really didn’t want to think of why it might be needed.
Problem was they had to decide where to go, who to see. It wasn’t as if there was much about their personalities or anything like that along with the information he was given. He didn’t want to be treated like a freak, or like a science project. He wanted someone that would care for the baby and him as if they were a normal pregnancy, well as normal as he could get.
There were lots of people in New Orleans, but he wasn’t too sure about that. Chicago wasn’t too far but there were only a few practitioners there. He didn’t want to get near Cleveland; he so did not need more Hellmouthy stuff to happen. Richmond, Virginia might be cool, but in the end he thought the New England area might be good. There were quite a lot people in New York, and Boston and Providence had quite a few choices as well.
Add to that fact were there was a lot of people in a small area, it would be easy to blend into the crowds. Good hunting for Spike too. He knew that Spike would go anywhere he wanted. Decision made he started looking at the take out menus he’d found in one of the drawers of the cheap dresser. It looked like they were New York bound.
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