*Four Weeks Later*
Abe smiled, pleased with himself, as he jotted down some notes in his folder. “Well young John, things are progressing quite nicely. You are nearing the end of what is considered your second trimester now and baby is doing well.” He looked at John, who was now sitting up on the examining table. There was no hiding the bump on the man’s waistline now and John had taken to wearing sweats or scrubs on a full time basis, as nothing else would fit him. And although he moaned and whined about it, in reality it was certainly no headache on his part to dress down since he detested wearing suits, and especially ties, anyways.
A healthy glow had developed on the man’s face and Abe thought he never looked better. John rested a hand on top of his stomach and rubbed lightly as he smiled brightly up at the merman. “That’s a relief. I can’t believe how big I’m getting.”
“Just a little over two months more to go,” Abe smiled.
“Oh, the countdown’s already begun, trust me,” John muttered. “I can’t wait till junior comes out and rid me of this constant heartburn.” He rubbed his other hand over his chest to make his point.
Abe chuckled in sympathy as he reached over for the prints from the ultrasound they had just performed. “Here are the newest images,” he said. He pulled them back as John reached for them. “There is just one thing,” he began to mention. “These prints show for the first time the gender of the baby.”
Myers gasped as his eyes widened. “You know if the baby is a boy or a girl?” he demanded.
“Indeed I do,” Abe answered smugly. “Would you like to know what it is?”
John thought for awhile. He got up and began to pace as his back was beginning to ache from being in one position for too long. Slowly, he rubbed his stomach as he contemplated whether or not he wanted to know if he carried a son or daughter. Then he glanced over at Abe, who was patiently waiting for his answer. “I think I’m gonna wait and be surprised,” he finally declared.
“Very well,” Abe said. “Then there is no way I can let you see these images,” he announced as he stuck them into the folder he held. “Red might not know what to look for, but there is no way you could look at them and not know what sex your child is.”
The agent pouted and wondered if he made the right decision. “Is it what you thought it would be?” he asked.
“I am not surprised by the gender. I knew that it would be either a male or a female,” Abe said, thoroughly amused.
“Yeah I know that, obviously,” John said impatiently. “But does it follow the percentage of results as according to the X-Y sex determination system?”
The aquatic man raised an eyebrow at the question. “I beg your pardon?”
Myers stopped pacing and glared at his friend, hands planted on either side of his hips. “You know damn well what I’m talking about. I’ve been doing research online so I know I’m not talking nonsense.”
“I’ve had no doubts that you have been doing your own research,” Abe consoled him and smiled again as the man began to pace once more. “Why don’t you tell me about this sex determination system.”
John gave him a look of exasperation. “The sex chromosomes of a woman is XX and a man is XY. If you work it out on a Punnett square the chances of a female or a male offspring is 50/50. A daughter receives one X chromosome from each of her parents, and a son receives his X chromosome from his mother and his Y chromosome from his father.
“Because Red and I both have XY chromosomes, using the same Punnett template we can assume that there is a two to one ratio of our child being a boy rather than a girl.” John shrugged and waved a hand in the air in a careless gesture. “Sure there’s that chance that our child will be YY sexed but the fetus wouldn’t be viable and you’ve already said that the child is as healthy as can be.” Myers stiffened and glanced nervously at Abe. “I’m right… aren’t I?”
Abe laughed heartily and patted his friend on the shoulder, reassuring him. “Well done, John. You have indeed done your research well. Do not worry; your child is very healthy. It is definitely viable and definitely either male or female.” A sparkle developed in his eyes. “You can hang on to your theories of what sex your child will be if you wish, either way I am sure that you will not be disappointed by the final the outcome.”
John rolled his eyes. “No kidding, Blue. Now is there anything else or do you wish to probe me some more?”
“Just one more item to cover before you leave,” Abe mentioned. He opened up a textbook that he had brought in with him and flipped to a marked page. He showed Myers the picture of a sagittal cross section of a human male body. John glanced at it and wondered what he was supposed to be looking at. Taking out a pen, Abe used the tip of it to indicate an area on the page.
“See this small space here between the bladder and the rectum?” Abe asked. “That is called the retrovesical pouch.” He tapped the page twice with the pen tip. “This just happens to be where the embryo and pseudo uterine cavity has implanted. As the fetus grows and the cavity enlarges it will eventually start to press against your bladder and rectum, if it has not already. That will mean you will have the need to urinate more, as well experience the odd bout of constipation.”
“Yeah, been there done that,” John groused. “It’s like I have to pee every hour now.”
Abe smirked. “I’m afraid that it will get worse as your pregnancy progresses. Anyway, I have no idea if the Felesdaemn markers in you are programmed to create a birthing channel when the time comes. If that is the case then that would explain why the cavity chose to develop so close to the rectum.”
John stared at him in horror. “Are you saying that I’m gonna have to delivery the baby through my… through my ass?”
“I cannot say at this point,” Abe reminded him. “But I can say that if that scenario is not feasible the fetus should develop to the point that it will begin to push your small intestines out of the way, enough so that the uterine cavity will be close to the surface of your abdomen and make a caesarian an easy procedure.”
“I don’t care if a birthing channel develops or not, you’re giving me a c-section,” John ordered. Then he shuddered slightly at the idea of the alternative possibility. “Now that you have me thoroughly grossed out, can I leave?”
“But I was not done yet,” Abe protested.
Myers sighed tiredly. All he wanted at this point was to sit down and relax with a nice hot cup of black coffee. His intake of the stuff was already severely limited to just one serving every other day. He’d been looking forward to drinking his next cup since before even finishing his last cup, which was two days ago. John forlornly glanced up at the wall clock, knowing that it would be another few minutes at least until he could be reunited with his love of coffee.
“What else is there?” he asked, almost sulking.
Abe moved the tip of his pen just a bit lower from where he had been pointing before. “This is your prostrate,” he said.
“Okay. And?”
“The heavier the baby becomes, the more it will rub down against it,” Abe stated simply. He waited patiently as the human processed this bit of information.
“Rub against it? Like… like…,” John stuttered.
Abe nodded. “Yes, John.”
“Oh great. That’s just great. Wonderful!” John cried sarcastically. “Not only will I have heartburn, swollen feet, and the bladder tolerance of a five year old girl, I’m gonna be having spontaneous hard-ons on top of that?”
“Just wait until the baby starts to move.”
John covered his face with his hands and sighed loudly. “Please tell me that’s all you have to tell me for today.”
“That will be all for today,” the merman replied obediently. “And please make sure to retrieve your new supplements from the nurse before you leave. I have changed some of your dosages.”
“Thanks, Blue,” John muttered as he left the examination room. He picked up various bottles from the admin nurse as told, and shoved them into the front pocket of his hoodie. Then he made a detour for the commissary and rewarded himself with a large cup of coffee to take back with him to his office. Once he was in the privacy and comfort of his room he collapsed into his leather chair and leaned back. He sighed as he closed his eyes and inhaled the aromatic scent of the coffee.
He had only a chance to take one blissful sip when there was a knock on the door. Without having to open his eyes he already knew who it would be. Only one person in the entire BPRD would have the courtesy to knock on his door. “Yeah, Connelly?” he asked.
“You left the infirmary early.” The other agent had an almost accusing tone to his voice.
“Yeah? So?” John took another sip and opened his eyes to regard the other man.
“You were supposed to wait for me to escort you out of there.”
“We’re both more than aware that I am capable of walking from one end of the BPRD to the other,” John commented.
“As we are both more than aware of the consequences that I must endure at the hands of an over bearing red demon should anything was to happen to you while you’re under my watch,” Connelly countered dryly.
John smirked at the thought and considered the other agent for a long moment. “Exactly what’s in it for you?” He smiled to himself as the handsome face of the blond man faltered.
“Excuse me, Sir?” Connelly asked in confusion.
“I looked through your profile. Finally,” Myers muttered the last part under his breath. “You graduated the top of your class and was even transferred out of country for undercover work. Had you stayed with the FBI you’d probably eventually be snatched up by DHS and working for the White House. Why on earth would you stay here knowing that you’re essentially a glorified babysitter?”
Connelly looked shocked at John’s assessment of him. “You think I would’ve been good enough for a White House assignment?” he asked. Then he shook his head. “England was my one and only field assignment. I got lucky; the Special Agent that was meant to go had been KIA’d just the week before. I was on the alternate list because I was the only other person that was familiar with the case files and suspect profiles, since I had been previously partnered up with the dead agent to pick up on experience. And even then I was given menial responsibilities once we arrived on UK soil.” Connelly shrugged. “The assignment looked good on my slate and the bureau might’ve given me another undercover job in time, but most likely I knew I would’ve been playing desk jockey for the most part.
“So when the BPRD approached me with a permanent field assignment here, despite being green behind the ears, I jumped at the opportunity. That’s why I stay on even though I’m just a so-called babysitter.”
He glanced over at Myers who had grown silent. “But you, you were the sterling pride of Quantico. Everyone knew who you were. You were already busting down international drug cartels and taking out psychopathic kidnappers by the age of 25. It’s no wonder you were snatched up by Bruttenholm and partnered up with Hellboy.” Connelly smiled. “I remember reading Hellboy Comics when I was a kid and imagined what our conversations would be like if I ever met him. I’ve always wondered what it would be like to be a superhero that people write comics and stories about. That’s probably why I joined the FBI. On TV they always make it seem so surreal. And now I get to work with Hellboy. Who’d think my dream would come true?”
Connelly stopped suddenly and stiffened once he realised what he was saying and to whom. Not only was he rambling off in front of a superior commander, but he was also talking about the man’s lover like some idolising adolescent. “Sorry, Sir,” he said smartly.
Myers processed over what the other man had said and was now looking at him in a new light. Finally, he looked over at a spare seat and motioned for the agent to sit down. “First of all,” he began to say as he placed his coffee down onto the desk between them, “don’t ever let Red know that you think he’s a hero. His ego is big enough as it is.” John smirked and rubbed his abdomen with a hand. “Second, there is no way that I’ll be chasing down any evil doers and things that go bump in the night any time soon. As much as I hate to admit it my reaction time is slow, my reflexes sucks, and my physical isn’t what it used to be.
“You *will* gain field experience and become Hellboy’s partner in time.” Connelly snapped his head up at this announcement. “The Academy covers very little with what the BPRD faces anyways, so you weren’t assigned here based on your experience so much as your abilities and skill. If Manning chose you to be a part of our team then you deserve to be here.”
“Thank you, Sir,” Connelly finally murmured as he digested what was said.
John shrugged and picked up his coffee again. “Don’t thank me yet, I’ve yet to see you in real action.” He glanced at the agent over the rim of his cup. “I’m counting on you to cover Red’s ass out there. He’s gotta be safe, I don’t tolerate anything less. If you don’t think you can follow him down through the dungeons of hell then you better hand in your badge and issue and resign now before I waste time training you.”
“I never leave a partner behind,” Connelly proclaimed sternly.
“I’m gonna hold you to your word,” Myers assured him.
“Of course, Sir.”
“And another thing, stop calling me ‘sir’. If you’re gonna be my babysitter then we might as well be on a last name basis,” John muttered.
“Are you going to insist on calling me that?” Connelly asked.
“It has a ring to it, don’t you think?” Myers finished the rest of his coffee and handed the mug to the other man. “Do me a favour and refill this for me will you? Getting up out of chairs is more work than it’s worth these days.”
“Uh, Abe says you’re not supposed to have more than one cup.”
“You’re about to receive lesson one in the handbook of all good secret agents.” John leaned back and settled himself comfortably into his chair. “‘Never disobey a direct order unless the prime directive is compromised.’ In which case you must utilise all available intel and resources to adapt to the situation as best as you could.”
Dean raised an eyebrow. “Meaning?” he finally asked. “I get what you’re saying but I don’t see how this applies to what we were talking about.”
“It’s simple Connelly,” John smiled wickedly. “You were given orders to not allow me any more coffee. However,” he raised a finger up in the air, “I am prepared to undergo drastic measures to get myself a refill. Now that your mission to keep me unfairly decaffeinated is compromised you need to think of your options here. Do you continue to follow orders, which would force me to search off on my own in obtaining MY own objective or do you simply do as I request and get my cup refilled for me? Keeping in mind, of course, that if I was to get hurt in the process of getting up out of this chair or burn my hand with the coffee pot Red WILL find out about it and come after you.” Myers smiled and was the picture of serenity.
Dean drummed his fingers against the desktop as he considered his choices. He sighed in defeat when John innocently slid the empty mug across the desk to rest by Connelly’s hand. “Blue is gonna have my hide,” he groaned.
“It’ll be worse if Red gets to it,” John promised.
“Either way I’m fucked.”
“I take it straight black.”
With narrowed eyes, Connelly stood and snatched up the offending mug. As he left the room, he could be heard muttering, “Dungeons of Hell? That’s gotta be easier than looking after you.”
“Pie would be great too,” John yelled out the door after him.
>>>>>
“Hey Probie, where you going off with that?” Connelly froze in his step and turned around to face Hellboy. He held a cup of hot coffee in one hand, and a slice of Key Lime pie in the other.
“To Agent Myers,” he answered.
Red peered at the cup and his tail twitched with interest. “There’s dried coffee stains on the edges of the cup,” he observed. Connelly looked closely and found the statement to be true. “That’s not his first cup today is it?”
The agent tried to remain stoic but swallowed nervously. He decided to remain silent and hoped that the large demon would let him pass. “Myers’ not going to be happy if this coffee turns cold,” he mentioned.
“Why are you getting him another cup of coffee?” Hellboy asked. “Didn’t Blue tell you that too much caffeine is bad for the baby? If Junior comes out with some nasty defects because John’s drinking too much coffee I’m gonna come after you.” Hellboy frowned at him for a moment before continuing off in his own path again.
“This stress can’t be good for me,” Dean grumbled as he renewed his steps back to Myers' office. He found the younger man doing paperwork when he finally arrived and John beamed up at him as he immediately dropped the pen he was holding and reached for the cup. He took a large gulp and let his disappointment show.
“What took you so long? This is barely hot anymore.”
Wordlessly, Connelly placed the plate containing the pie onto the desk and tiredly rubbed his face.
“You didn’t even get me a fork?”
Dean then shoved his fingers through his hair in frustration, messing it up in the process. He could feel his shoulder holster, which secured his .38 issue, grow heavy.
“You look kind of stressed there, Connelly,” John said, concern on his face. “Maybe you should sit down.”
TBC...
References & Images:
The Retrovesical Pouch is the space between the bladder and the rectum, sitting below the intestines. In the following images at the lowest point of the internal body you will find a pear-like shape on the left (bladder) and a sausage-like shape on the right (rectum). The whitish, round like structure below where these two organs meet is the prostrate.
http://www.netterimages.com/image/detail.htm?variantID=2140
http://www.netterimages.com/image/detail.htm?variantID=2982
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Y-chromosome
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/XY_sex-determination_system
http://www.epigee.org/fetal2.html
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Author's Chapter Notes:
For the purpose of this story, "Hellboy II: The Golden Army" never happened, John is definitely NOT in Antarctica, and Liz does not play a role here. This is purely a work of fiction and entirely AU.