Slowly, the trembling hands carefully folded the last of the white starched dress shirts. The slender figure turned and made a final visual inspection of the small square room that had been his home for the last 48 months.
The gray walls that once held pictures and awards were now as bare as the soul of the beholder.
The beholder in question was one John T. Myers, the "T" stands for Thaddeus mom's older brother, agent, correction… former agent of The Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense. Young, he was only 25, the 5'9", 160 lb. brown haired, brown eyed man walked over to touch one of the gray walls. How many times had John used this room to run away when the pressure of loving him became too much?
"Red…" he whispered as he slowly slid down the wall to a sitting position. When his intercom buzzed an hour later, he was still sitting there. Eyes enflamed and itching, nose running, John wearily raised his head from where it had been resting on his drawn up knees. He weakly extended a leaden arm towards the sound and then let it drop. As his hand hit the floor with a thud, he thought, 'What's the use?' And letting his head sink back onto his knees, he thought back to the last assignment and Red's harsh words.
"Myers, what the heck are you doing? I told you to stay with the truck and support the team from there." John blinked as the 6' 2" bright red, muscular demon man stalked towards him. This was Hellboy, though his co-workers called him Red. The "BFG" better known as The Samaritan was being gripped so tightly in his left hand that the knuckles were actually turning white.
"Good thing he's not holding it in his stone hand," John mused, "it'd be crushed to a pulp."
Reaching out, Red decided to grasp John's arm in that stone right hand instead and, as angry as Red was, the grip was surprisingly gentle.
"But that boogie was almost on you. There's no way that you would have been able to turn in time…"
"And you put innocent lives in danger by your careless actions," Red growled interrupting him. For the first time, John looked around and saw the victims of the boogie shaking their heads while waking up from his trance. "Did it ever occur to you that I wanted the creature to come after me? That I had a plan?"
"Red," Abe came up to stand beside John, "do not be too harsh with John, he was worried about you and looking out for you is his job." Pausing, he watched as Red released his grip on the agent. He then turned to John to rest a hand on his shoulder and froze as images flashed through his mind,
John, following Red into the temple of Bast… Liz and the others, being held at bay by the guardian. Red interrupting the sacrifice that would bring her back into the realm of the living… Bast's screeching condemnation of the world that no longer cherishes motherhood… Red threatening the goddess with his Samaritan… the goddess intoning a curse… a flash of light moving towards Red… John pushing him out of the way…. Being hit with the light… darkness… waking up in the infirmary… overhearing Liz and Red fight… harsh words… "He's always around"…."no time for us"…back in his room… Liz announcing that she had to get away… Red coming to his room… John attempting to comfort… Red pulling him close… kissing him… not for the first time… feels so good…. Red stripping him and kissing him all over… John, writhing in ecstasy, begging… "Please, please"… Red preparing him… entering him, blanketing the smaller body with his large one… hungry kisses… Red thrusting… John bucking up to meet each one… crying out as Red hits his prostate again and again… finally they come together… John screaming his release… Red quieter, planting his seed in him… Liz coming back… again he is relegated to only being Red's helper… vomiting everyday for a week straight… then a second heart beat…
Jerking his arm away, Abe snaps back to the present and looks into John's pleading eyes.
Abe spoke gently admonishing John, "But Red is also correct, you have to think about the innocents that could be in harm's way."
"See, Boy Scout, you need to listen to him."
"Red, please," Abe responded . "John let's get you back and check you out."
"Check him out? What for? To see if you can locate the sense that nature gave him?" Red groused.
John had his back to Red so he neither saw the effect his words had on the young man, nor did he see John raise his hand to cover his abdomen, but Abe did. Without so much as a backward glance, Abe led the trembling agent back to the converted garbage truck.
"John? John T. Myers, are you alright?" A soft voice tickled his ears.
"Blue, please, go away."
"I am sorry, but I cannot do that."
John sighed, rolling his head on his knees so that he faced his unwelcome visitor kneeling beside him. Blue, aka Abe Sabien, was a fishman. 'No really more of an aquaman,' John thought to himself and smiled softly.
Abe was blue-skinned, 6' 4" and literally 130 pounds soaking wet. His face was reminiscent of the drawings one sees of the thin-faced bulb-headed aliens on the science fiction shows. The water-filled breathing apparatus that he wore around his neck like a stole enabled him to live and move about freely outside of his glass pool.
"Why do you smile?" Abe inquired.
"You're not reading me?" John was referring to Abe's ability to see events or to know a person's thoughts with just a touch or without a touch if the feelings were exceptionally strong, as his were at the moment.
Abe shook his head. "Some thoughts are meant to be private."
John's laugh is strained, "I was thinking about comics. Comic books, heroes and what makes a man."
"And what have you concluded?"
"That I don't know shit," John grated as he tried to stand.
Rising gracefully, Abe extended a slender web-laced hand to John. Looking up into the solid black eyes, John hesitated and then, seizing the hand as if it was a lifeline, allowed himself to be pulled into Abe's loose embrace.
"In that John T. Myers, you are wrong. You do know one thing."
"Oh yeah, and what's that?" John asked as he tried to push away, but Abe held him in a loose embrace,
"He cares a great deal for you and…" Abe laid a gentle hand on the slight bump on John's abdomen, "…you are giving him the one thing that Liz is denying him."
"That's the problem in a nutshell. Red cares about me, but he loves Liz. Whenever Liz and Red fight, or she is in a snit, or she is tired of being a freak and wants to be human and takes off for months at a time, I'm the one left to deal with him. I'm the one whose bed he comes to. I'm the one who loves him." John reached up to wipe away the tears that ran down his face. "Shit!" With that expletive, he pushed out of Abe's arms and stomped towards the bed. "I'm just tired of being a substitute for Liz."
Abe nodded and then added, "I can feel the baby's heart beat." John said nothing. He simply closed and locked his suitcase. "He'll give her up if you tell him."
John sighed. "I know and that's why I won't tell him." He turned to face Abe just as his friend started to protest. "Abe… Liz will be able to give him more children, but what happened to me was because of that damned curse of Bast. I don't know if I'd be able to have another one. We both know what Liz will do if she finds out. She'll do her best to get pregnant and when she succeeds Red will have to choose." He turns to face Abe, "I'm not strong enough to live with that choice."
"Even if his choice is to be with you?" Abe asked.
John's head dropped as he whispered, "Especially if he chooses me. I couldn't stand to see the hate in his eyes when he finally realizes that he chose wrong."
"John…" Abe started, but John held up his hand, palm out, to forestall any further arguments.
"I'm leaving, but not for Antarctica. I'm going back to my uncle's farm."
"Thaddeus..."
John nodded, remembering, as he stomped into Manning's office.
"I will not go to any of those…" he made the quotation gesture, "approved safe houses."
Manning stood.
"Is everyone taller than me?" John thought, but refused to be intimidated as his 6' tall boss towered over him.
Although he had recently become more active in the field, Manning looked just like what he was, a big man who was going to seed. The once firm body was fighting a losing battle with middle-age spread and a balding pate. The bags that were forming under the soulful brown eyes and the developing jowls reminded John of a hound that needed to be put out to pasture.
"The safe house is the best place for you in your… your condition."
John's eyes narrowed as he caught the faint scorn behind the word.
"Those places are no better than a prison and you know it." John dragged his hand through his hair as he walked away, putting space between himself and Manning. The brown locks were becoming longer than regulation, but he didn't care.
"Well…since I'm not going to be an agent for much longer…" John reflected, " I may as well go for broke."
"I want to stay with my uncle."
"That is totally unacceptable!" Manning roared.
Furious, John turned towards Manning and shouted back, "I don't care! It's my uncle or nothing!" He started at Manning and wondered what he would actually do if the man refused. Go to the papers? That was totally out of the question. John met the director's stare and held his breath."
"And what would your uncle think about you turning up on his doorstep pregnant? Or any other man for that matter?"
John released the breath. "He'd accept me with open arms," he paused, taking a deeper breath, "just like he accepted my decision to work with the paranormal."
Manning started to draw himself to his full height but then he slumped. "He knows about this place?"
"I've never lied to him about anything and I won't start now."
Manning nodded acknowledging something more to himself than to John.
"I've got to talk to him, certain safeguards must me put into place."
Now it was John's turn to nod. As he turned to leave, Manning spoke again, "Agent Myers, I'll get your paperwork pushed through with the highest priority. Don't make any of us regret this decision." With those words, John was dismissed.
"After that it was pretty anticlimactic." John explained as he hefted his suitcase which Abe quickly plucked from his grasp. John scowled but continued, "My uncle had no problem with my pregnancy, in fact," John grinned, "he was excited…started plans to add another room to his house."
"How do you plan to explain the baby to other people?"
"A cousin who died in childbirth... her last request being that my uncle is to raise him. I'm taking a leave of absence to help him."
"Ah… and how will you explain your growing belly?"
Suddenly John sat down on the bed hard. His arms folded around his middle as he doubled over.
"John?" Abe was by his side. When John looked up as tears were in his eyes. He whispered, "I'll tell them I've been eating too many pamcakes."
Blue winced as he remembered Red's words to John. "Hey squirt, you're getting a bit of a pooch. Better stop sneaking my pamcakes." He held John for the last time as the young agent cried.
Two days later, Red stormed into the lab as Blue languidly floated in his tank.
"John's gone!"
Floating upside down, Abe's voice sounded unhurriedly over the speakers, "Turn the page, please." Red stared at his friend. With exaggerated calm, he walked to each of the three pedestals in front of the tank and flipped the page on each of the books resting there. As Abe took his time reading, Red paced in front of him. "Isn't that what you wanted?"
Hellboy jerked at the mild inquiry. "Well… yeah."
"Then what is the problem?"
"I don't know where the Boy Scout is."
"Is that important?"
"Well… yeah."
"Why?" Abe was genuinely puzzled.
"So I can call him back when I need him?"
"Ahhhh," Abe exclaimed. "Is the new agent not working out?"
"He's fine. Brings me my meals on time… knows when to leave me alone…"
"So what is the problem?"
"He's. Not. Myers." Hellboy grounded out between clenched teeth.
"Ahhh."
"Is that all you can say?"
"I do not understand. What more is there to say? You wanted Myers gone and now he is."
"But not like this, I didn't mean it to be like this."
"Like what?"
"I didn't get the chance to say goodbye. I mean, I didn't want the kid to think… to think that he was totally useless."
Abe smiled and faced Red. "If it is any consolation, he cared about you a great deal."
Hellboy's shoulders slumped. "He only cared about me?"
Abe stopped reading and focused his full attention on Hellboy. "Yes, a great deal." He paused to watch as Red slowly walked back towards the lab door. "Red?" He offered in askance.
Red stopped with his hand inches from the door panel. When he finally spoke his voice was so subdued that Abe almost missed his reply. "I loved him with all my heart."
And with those words, he was gone.
End
I hope you enjoyed reading this fic. Whether or not it remains a one shot is up to my muse.
Story Notes:
Although I have this listed as an AU, I don't really think anyone is OOC. Hellboy is snarky and sarcastic, Abe is understanding and John is still trying to make sure that everyone is okay. Liz is still a bitch, yes I felt that she was one in the movie and Manning still hates being there but it is his job.
Also, thank you Wolverine6claws for being my beta for this story. Hugs…
Later Tinnean beta'd for me and now I have Kelly. I promise to write and send her more work.