"Augur . Augur I said open this damn door." Liam continued slamming his closed fist against the door till it had turned white. " I won't just go away Augur I know you're in there. I won't leave till you talk to me." BUMB BUMB BUMB BUMB. "Augur let me in." Turning away from the titanium door he rubbed his hand through his hair in utter frustration.
"Fine Augur have it your way." Liam looked once more at the surveillance cam over the door. "For now.but I'll be back, Augur, do you understand that.you can't do this to me."
Dejectedly, Augur sat before the console arms folded over his stomach as he watched the tall form stride away. He sat there watching his lover all but knock his door down. He knew that Liam could easily break the door down and that may be the very result the next time he came. Augur thought he should just take those packed bags he had kept in the closet and really go this time. Right now, though, he was tired and queasy and really had to go to the bathroom and maybe some lunch.then a nap. Pushing away from the console as Liam disappeared, he placed his bare feet on the cool polished granite floor easing himself from his chair, holding on the edge of the table to steady himself before making his way slowly over to the bathroom.
Liam held his hand over the locking mechanism at the right side of the titanium door, disengaging the lock, and letting himself in before locking it back behind him. The apartment was dark.that was strange, he thought there wasn't a thing dark about the man other than his warm chocolate skin . well, maybe the FlatPlanet, but that was different. Augur apartment was always alight with the graphic glow of his infinite system panels and consoles plus the glare of the numerous overhead fluorescent lights putting everything in the room under scrutiny. Yet tonight, save a lone console, nothing was turned on; not even his constantly chirping stock tracking systems were up.
Liam heard the flush from the bathroom as he stalked around the room trying to make sense of his lover's resent behavior. Each step taking him closer to the bathroom terrified him. He hadn't seen Augur in almost 9 weeks. He never knew Augur's rejection, well his true rejection anyway. His refusal to let him in was proof positive that something was wrong between them. but in all that had happened, he hadn't felt that direct blast. He'd never heard those hard cold words uttered from his loves mouth, and he feared those words more than anything the Taelons or Sandoval could devise, yet in spite of his fears he knew he had to hear what was really happening from Augur himself.
He heard Augur's movement as he made his was towards the bedroom.their bedroom. He'd always thought of this underground hideout as his home. To him, Augur and Lily it was just an unspoken convention that he lived here even though Augur had initially provided him with an apartment topside. He always came back here.it was home. Where Augur was home, even Augur's old apartment where they had first become lovers, felt more a home than his own apartments ever did. He turned the corner in time to see a glimpse of Augur as he walked down the down the tiny hall to their bedroom.
Liam drew in a breath.and as it caught in his throat, Augur's head turned, his long braid lashing against his right shoulder blade. His steps quickened and as he started to run towards the bedroom.
"Get out Liam. How the hell did you get in here? Why couldn't you just go home and leave me ALONE," Augur thundered as reached the sliding door before the master bedroom.
"Leaving you alone.is that what you really want?" . Liam captured his lover's shoulders, spinning the shorter man around to face him. The moment their eyes met, it surged through his mind like a bolt of lightening and every cell of his body stirred in his presence.
"It seems like I've left you alone too long as it is." Liam's eyes dropped to Augur's swollen midsection. He let the struggling man's shoulders go as he let his now glowing palm hover over his distended Lycra covered abdomen. Raising his line of sight back to Augur's, his hands touched the rounded stomach.
"How long did you know . How far along are you.how long were you planning to wait before telling me .Were ever even planning to tell me? You were just going to let me walk away from here and never tell me?" Augur's mind was swimming; this was to much for him to handle now. Why couldn't Liam just let him be? He turned to walk away seconds before Liam grabbed hold of his wrist.
"Augur..."
"Why did you come here, Liam?"
"Augur, I've been looking for you for over 2 damn months." Augur continued into the room, leaving Liam carrying on behind him.
I have to get away, so much pain .I'm sorry. Augur mind was in turmoil.
"You've had me continent-hopping between assignments till kingdom come.all the while you were hiding out down here."
"So you came here to demand answers."
"Don't you think I deserve them?"
"No . No Liam. I don't." Please don't make me have to do this I can't do this Liam please just let me be...Please. My head hurts...you're hurting . I don't know. Oh Gods I can't take hurting him .us anymore. I'm to too close.I can't take.to much pain now. I have to get away from him.
"Damn it, Augur, stand in one place and talk to me, and yes I do deserve some answers."
"Okay.Fine." Throwing the small hand held console off into a corner of the room smashing it into the wall. "I don't know what has happened to me . what is happening to me . my body . all the changes. So, see, there is nothing to discuss Liam . now please just go."
"Yes there is . there has to be."
"Why Liam . Why MUST there be?" Turning to pick up the data crystal from the broken console.
"If you're pregnant, there is hell of a lot of explaining to be done."
Augur spun around angrily advancing towards Liam as he stood face red in angry at Augur's then calm indifference.
"EXPLAINING.what EXPLANINATION COULD I POSSIBLY HAVE CONSIDERING IT IS MY BOYFRIEND . NO. MY 15 MONTH OLD 6 FEET 2 INCH TALL 152 POUND EX-LOVER IS THE ONE WHO IS THE ALIEN/ALIEN/ALIEN/HUMAN HYBRID. Yes of course I would have to be the one to have to do the explaining.GET OUT LIAM." He thundered as he stood slightly swaying before the young man. Oh God what have I done. "Liam just get ouuu." His voice trilled away as he collapsed to the floor in exhaustion and anxiety.
Liam rushed forward, grabbing hold of the petite beautiful black man into his arms, taking the delicate load over to the bed. Realizing in an instant how frail his lover's body was, making his swollen abdomen all the more pronounced. Turning the bright fuchsia and vermilion covers back, he deposited his precious bundle on the fluorescent blue sheets. Rolling Augur onto his side, he reached to take off his lover's shoes and found that he wasn't wearing any. Liam sat on the end of bed, pulling Augur's small feet into his lap, massaging their soles before tucking him in.
"Augur we are going to have to talk about this sooner or later, love." Kissing his forehead he strode out of the room.
Augur stirred and snuggled deeper into the warm mass spooned behind him. He inhaled deeply the fresh scent of soap and shampoo that still hung warm in the air from the bathroom beyond the sliding doors. And in the sleepy veil that still draped him, his hand moved to cover the hand that caressed his rounding belly ... .his baby.
Hand . Hand . with a start, he jerked upright in bed remembering the scene before.
"Liam," he squeaked.but the quick motion left him dizzy and he crumpled back to the bed.
"Augur, calm down.I just took a shower and I was going to leave but I couldn 't; so I climbed in with you. I just wanted to hold you. Its been so long." His voice broke for a second before he continued making his last word seem like a gasp. ".But I'm going now like you wanted, ok? I don't want you upset." He finished, clearing his throat. "I didn't plan to stay this long. I was just watching you sleep and held you. I must have drifted off as well. I don't want you upset by my being here when you woke; so I'm going." Liam started untangling himself from the still disoriented Augur, giving his lover's forehead one last kiss before he slid out of the bed, reaching for the jacket he had dropped on the floor.
Slowly he stalked over to the door looking back at Augur on the bed.
"I'm sorry, Liam."
"I know you're only doing what you think is right, Augur; I just wish you would make me understand why your pushing me away like this."
Augur laid back between the sheets, staring up at the high cavernous ceilings, tears slipping down the side of his face.
"I just.Liam.Liam wait a minute." he paused, feeling the man walking closer to the bed. " I don't understand how this is happening or why. I just know it is . and for once in my life I don't want to figure it out. I don't want to deconstruct and dissect it into meaningless intricate biological detail.I don't have many answers."
"I only want to ask two questions."
Taking an intense inhalation of breath, he felt Liam sit beside him and saw his hands reaching up to take his darkened glasses away.
"What?"
" Do you love me still Augur and do you want this child?"
"I've always loved you Liam.even when your day old bossy ass declared that your name was Liam." Augur smiled but only briefly. " I loved you then and I love you now and I will forever. I'm sorry . I hope you know that its just that I'm so scared now, Liam.what if it's not true and my mind is playing some cruel joke on my body and this is just a trick of my hormones having revenge on me for even dreaming such a thing?"
"I felt it, Augur . it's real.as real as I am."
"Or what if its some stupid experiment the Zo'or is doing to me to get to you now Sandoval knows about us? God knows what he'd do," Augur ranted on.
"Wait a minute... you've dreamed about this?" Liam asked as he took a seat beside Augur's prone form.
"So what if I had?"
"What exactly have you dreamt?"
"Liam!!!"Augur almost screamed in his usual agitated matter when Liam sidetracked his serious conversation.
"You never told me about these dreams."
"I know because they are just silly fantasy."
"So now it's a fantasy," he teased, earning him a stern pout. Liam reached forward stroking his smooth dark cheek gently. He had his Augur back in those shining eyes.all the mischief and mystery his lover incorporated.
"There is so much of you that you hide from me still, isn't there?"
"As there is in you. I will never know all the secrets your heritage gave you, I can simply accept you and all that it incurs."
He placed his hand over Augur's pregnant belly, his shikariva aglow.
"And this?"
"I stopped believing in impossibilities a long time ago, Liam." Augur placed his hand over Liam's, retrieving the man's attentions back to himself. "That afternoon when I realized that there was the slightest possibility that I could be carrying our child, something filled me along with that knowledge. A feeling of complete contentment, one I've experienced only one place before." He continued as he turned Liam's palm over, looking into the strange powerful light of the orb. Calmness enveloped them as he replaced it on his belly. Augur inhaled a deep breath before continuing. "I know its power.I've seen it power as a weapon to hurt and destroy.but when you touch me with it, Liam, like now..." His voice trailed off as the tears shining in his eyes slipped down his cheek. "I can't ever know how it feels to you really, but it's so hard for me to even fathom the scope of the emotion it wells up within me.this feeling of utter and complete contentment that both calms and exhilarates me. That's how I felt when I thought she was real." Looking up from the hand he found himself looking up into those piercing hazel eyes.
"You feel her."
"I feel a presence the way I feel yours. Since we joined that first time I feel you have glimpses and what I see sometimes terrifies me, I'll never understand how you can exist with them with such intensity. I feel hers and it weakens me at times."
"How long have you known?"
"Nearly from the beginning.I couldn't tell you then. I didn't want to believe it could be happening. I was so afraid that it may not be true. As time went on with the changes in my body, subtle at first, I began to have more hope."
"I thought you didn't want me anymore, Augur. I was so afraid that I had lost you. You will never understand how much a part of me you've become. I felt a desire to mate beyond my own comprehension, whether it was an echo of your need or my own, I couldn't guess nor could I understand my body's response."
This never could have happened without us both wanting her here, now. I know that now. Nothing has happened to us that shouldn't have that hasn't shown us a clearer path, wherever it leads. We both need and wanted her here, whether it was simply our feeding off each other's emotions, she is reality, our reality . isn't she?" Liam smiled. "She is . you're tired." Augur nodded weakly." I should go and let you rest."
" No don't. Stay with me a while ok, please? I know hiding from you hurt you.and I'm sorry, but I was swallowed by my own fears which forced all knowledge of yours away.tried to sever our connection."
"Its ok, Augur."
"It isn't. I pushed you way.at a time I knew .deep down, I knew I was hurting you with my selfish actions but I tried to hide the truth from myself and it worked, but the moment I looked in your eyes, I felt it take me over. For so long I tried to separate myself from my bond and in a flicker they we so strong. I couldn't control it. You were in so much pain All that pain and heartache. I felt it all rush through me just now, the link's never been that clear . I hurt you so much and yet."
"Augur."
"I know you're shielding me now." Liam looked at him quizzically. "From your pain. The pain I caused. It's so innate with in you that you would never realize what you're doing now. The fears I dug up...old fears of my rejecting you because of who you are and will be. I could never hate you, Liam . I just need you to know that and I can never hurt you again." Augur laid himself heavily back down to the pillows behind him, all the while he held tight to Liam. "It's ok to hold us." He smiled, tugging on his arm. "It 's ok. I'll never make you feel unwanted like that again. I missed you." Wordlessly Liam climbed back into the bed, spooning behind his lover, his lip placing a chaste kiss on his Augur's shoulder.
"I know there are so many questions still swimming in your mind . I also know I can't be the one to help you find the answers this time.I don't want to, but before you go take the data crystal from that broken console... I put it together, knowing all that I could on my condition . my pregnancy. I never called it that before today. I couldn't make it too real for myself lest it be taken away. The data is yours to do with as you want, Liam, just don't expect me tear it apart into its binary code the way I usually do."
"You have your truth."
"It is the only truth right now."
Augur eyes fluttered open, slowly adjusting to the dim lights around him. Liam asleep, his head buried in his lover's neck, his warm breath delicately heating his chin and shoulder. He had missed being like this with Liam. Quiet times . Liam had always been such a flurry of energy we rarely had time likes these, he thought; he would always treasure them. His arm wrapped around his hip. Looking down, he was surprised to see his stomach aglow from Liam's shikariva. Snuggling deeper into the embrace, he placed his hand over Liam's, waking him.
"Are you ok?"
"Yes we are and you."
Liam simply smiled and kissing the back of his neck.
"When do you have to get back to the mother ship?"
"Not for a few hours still, but if Da'an needs me, he will call. He knows I was trying to find you."
"Oh."
"Are you hungry?"
"Like you wouldn't believe."
*****
"So has your search been fruitful?"
"Yes I found him."
"And what of his health?"
"Augur wasn't in any danger.he was hiding from me."
"I see."
"He needed time to resolve certain issues."
"Certain issues?"
"A few months ago you told me the synod was worried because of a new forces presence was being felt within the commonality."
"Yes, I remember telling you of such a presence. A recent assertion into the commonality, it is as not as strong as your own but it is becoming stronger with each day. The synod is at odds with such a presence. Do you know something of this being that is insinuating itself into the commonality?"
"Da'an . Augur is carrying my child."
"I see. Is that why he made it so difficult for himself to be found?"
"He was having a hard time dealing with the it. Yes"
"And now."
"He needs me."
"And you him. It is obvious the bond you two share. There hasn't been any new assurgency in the commonality for many centuries Liam. Yours and your family's are the first." The taelon turned from his friend and ally. "You are very lucky man, Liam Kincaid."
"You're thinking about him again."
"I envy you."
"Da'an."
"Our peoples will celebrate you in millennia to come. To be a saviour of not one world but two."
"I don't understand."
Da'an came to his friend again, holding his hand in his own continued. "It's not time for you to. Just promise me to keep your loved ones safe. I know I couldn't. I tried but ."
"Of course I will, Da'an, but..."
"You should go to them. I don't need you now. Go."
Slowly Liam retreated, reluctant to leave but he yearned to be with Auger now. He watched as his friend retired to his seat, lost in his own thoughts and memories. I wished he could understand Da'an's new melancholy and, as his heart went out to reassure his friend, a few images flowed between them. His heart leapt in his chest as the emotions packed behind the image of Da' an losing his lover for the second time slammed through him. "Boone.Laza."
"Leave me now. You know too much already. Protect them, Liam, the secrets they hold about you will save us all."
"You were the one who."
"Tried to save him. Twice in fact it still wasn't enough.They feared him. He was a threat to our way of life. I wasn't strong enough to protect him."
"You miss him"
"Yes. He became a part of me, he still is. he lingers within my consciousness. It is enough, but I envy you. You should go to them now."
"I will."
End for now
