Mulder cast a quick pleading look to Scully. After years of being partners, Scully had no problem reading Mulder. She scooped the infant from Mulder's arms, freeing him to go to Alex. Mulder dropped to his knees in front of the distraught younger man. Alex didn't look up. His breathing had become very shallow and the only visible movement was his fingers digging into his thigh.
Mulder grasped Alex's hand in his own. "No, Alex. No, I meant you and the babies. Walter and I want all three of you to come home with us."
"Alex? Look at me." Mulder gently cupped Alex's face and lifted his chin, but Krycek kept his eyes down. "We bought a big house, you're going to love it. It has enough room for all five of us. The twins will have their own room when they get older and it has a big back yard so we can get a dog if you want. What do you say, Alex? You and the babies want to come home with us?"
"Home?" A barely audible voice asked.
"Yes, Alex, home, with us." Mulder gathered Alex to his chest and rocked him gently. Mulder looked up at Walter with tears falling down his cheeks. Skinner's warm brown eyes were also filled with tears.
Atkinson reached over and Skinner placed the baby girl into Atkinson's arms. Skinner kneeled down on Krycek's other side, embraced both of the younger men, and repeated Mulder's affirmation, "Yes, Alex, home."
Dana Scully didn't try to hide her own tears; she looked over at her lover. Atkinson was smiling and swaying in a soothing motion for the little girl he held. Atkinson was not at all uncomfortable with the emotional scene unfolding before them. Scully knew if she weren't already in love with Randy, she would have fell in love at that moment.
Atkinson met Scully's eyes and gave her a blinding smile. Dana was still in her surgical scrubs, her hair had fallen out of her impromptu ponytail and tears had marred her makeup. He thought she never looked more beautiful.
The baby girl in Atkinson's arms gave a little kick and sniffle, and then started to whimper. He bounced her a moment, then announced, "Alex, I think your daughter is hungry."
Alex finally lifted his eyes from where they had been focused on the floor. He looked questionably at Atkinson and then at Scully.
"Hungry?"
"Alex, there's something we didn't get a chance to cover." Scully took a deep breath; this was going to be hard. "Alex, you need to breast feed the twins."
"B-breast feed?" Alex looked like he was about to pass out. Mulder's and Skinner's mouths were doing imitation of goldfish bookends.
Scully decided it might be best if she talked to Krycek alone to explain what he needed to do.
"Gentlemen, could you step outside. Randy, would you hand Alex his daughter and go with Walter and Mulder?"
Skinner and Mulder both placed a kiss on Alex's temple and obediently followed Scully's orders. Mulder whispered just loud enough for Scully to hear, "I think she likes being the boss."
She grinned at her old partner. "Like you really want to explain this to Krycek." Mulder shook his head and hurried after Skinner.
Atkinson gave Scully a quick kiss on the cheek as he passed, whispering good luck. He was glad she was taking up the task.
Dana Scully studied Alex for a moment then gestured for him to get back in the chair. It was going to be hard explaining breast feeding to a man, so she just plowed ahead.
"Alex, although the nanos are no longer in your body, the increased level of hormones they caused, is enough for you to produce milk and to nurse your children. We didn't have the time to study the long term effects, but we do know the hormone level will drop, and until it does, it is best for you to breast feed the babies."
"B-but I don't have..." Alex's eyes flickered to Scully's chest.
"No, but you do have nipples. And actually, Alex, you do have breasts."
"I-I don't know what to do." Alex looked down at his daughter, who had instinctively started searching his chest for a nipple.
"Your daughter knows what she wants." Scully leaned over and tugged the surgical gown Krycek still wore down off his shoulder. Alex lifted the baby girl's face to his nipple and she didn't need any more assistance. She latched onto the offered nipple and began suckling.
Alex turned and looked at Scully. His eyes had grown enormous on his face. Scully sat down next to him. She cradled the baby boy into Krycek's prosthetic arm and guided the infant's mouth to Krycek's other nipple.
The little boy needed more prompting, so Scully gently squeezed Alex's nipple until a dribble of milk appeared. She ran her finger over the tiny lips until she felt a response. Scully once again guided the baby's mouth to the nipple. She held his head with one hand and squeezed Alex's nipple again. The baby caught Alex's nipple in his mouth and started nursing.
Scully looked at Krycek with a satisfied smile and found Alex's face had turned bright crimson. They stared at each other, then Scully reached over and drew Alex's head to hers. She rested his head against hers for a few moments and softly said, "Nursing is a natural and beautiful thing, Alex. You don't need to be embarrassed."
She watched as the blush faded from Krycek's face and a blissful expression took its place.
"Alex? Do you want to know who the fathers are?"
"F-fathers?"
Scully found it both cute and endearing that Alex was not being articulate enough to mutter more than a few words at a time. In all the years she had know and dealt with the ex-triple agent, Scully never expected to see this side of him or that he even had such a side.
"Do you want to know which baby is Mulder's and which is Walter's?" She said thinking a different approach would help. It didn't.
"F-Fox and W-Walter are the f-fathers?"
Dana Scully just shook her head. 'What we have here is a failure to communicate', she thought in her best imitation of Strother Martin.'
"Alex, when you were here before, we ran DNA tests on the fetuses to determine their parentage. Remember? We had determined the babies were indeed yours, but you disappeared before we had the rest of the results. The secondary DNA test showed that Mulder is the father of one of the babies and Walter is the other father."
She paused to let Krycek think about it. "We will have to run another test to determine which baby belongs to whom."
"It doesn't m-matter." Alex whispered.
"What do you mean, it doesn't matter?"
"L-love them both, it doesn't matter who their fathers are."
Dana Scully felt her heart turn to mush. Any last doubts she might have harbored about Krycek faded.
"Do you want me to let Walter and Mulder back in?"
"No, I-I don't want them to see this." Krycek gestured downward with his head. "Besides, I think they are finished."
The babies were finished, so Scully picked up the little boy and demonstrated how to burp when necessary. While she patted the infant's back and she guided Alex in patting the little girl's back, she asked, "What about names?"
"Names?"
'Oh, great. Back to monosyllabic communication.' Scully let out a sigh. "Alex, we can't keep calling them 'baby boy' and 'baby girl'. Have you thought about names?"
"Mulder and Skinner."
"Mulder and Skinner?" Great now he has me doing it, she thought.
"T-they should name the twins." Krycek to a deep breath. "I want them to name the babies."
"Okay," Scully reached over and tugged the gown back on Krycek's shoulder. "I'll go get them." She walked over, opened the door and waved the three men in the hall to come back into the room.
Atkinson had explained to Mulder and Skinner about the nursing, but they still didn't understand why they were ordered to leave the room. Mulder went over and sat down by Krycek, Skinner sat on the other side. Scully placed the little boy into Skinner's awaiting arms.
She cleared her throat to get their attention. "Alex, do you want to tell them?"
"Tell us what?" Mulder asked Scully. Alex had once again hung his head, refusing to look at anyone.
"Alex wants you and Walter to name the babies."
Mulder leaned into Alex with his arm around his shoulder and placed his hand on the baby girl's sleeping head. "I guess we need to find out which baby is mine and which is Walter's." He sent a reassuring smile to Skinner.
"It d-doesn't matter," Alex spoke his first words since the men had re-entered the room, but he didn't raise his head from where it rested against his chest.
"What doesn't matter, Alex?" Skinner was worried. This wasn't the cocky man he was used too. Alex seemed to be slipping further into himself and away from them. Skinner looked to Scully for an answer, when Krycek remained quiet.
"It doesn't matter to Alex who the individual fathers are," Scully voiced cracked a little.
Skinner's eyes welled up with tears. He looked at Mulder and at Alex holding their daughter and finally back at their son in his arms. "Alex is right. It doesn't matter."
Mulder pulled Krycek into an embrace, careful not to put pressure on the little girl, and kissed the top of Alex's head. "It doesn't matter."
"Well, what does matter is Alex and the twins need to be in the hospital." Atkinson decided to get everyone moving. "Under the circumstance, I realize that is not an option, but our clinic is not equipped for over night patients."
"Randy, is right. I think we should take Alex and the babies to your house," Scully looked meaningfully at Mulder. "We can stay the night and monitor them," volunteering before they could ask. "Alex will probably be more comfortable at home and he needs to get some rest to help his body recover from the c-section."
"Alex? Are you ready to go home?" Mulder asked. Krycek merely nodded.
Scully took the baby from Alex and started for the door. "Walter stay and help Mulder get Alex into some scrubs, his clothes are dirty, we can wash them at the house. Randy, I think we have some carseats in the storage room for emergencies, take the little girl from Walter and let him help Mulder get Alex dressed." Scully was in charge again.
Mulder retrieved a set of clean scrubs from the prep room, they would have to settle for Alex's leather jacket and boots for extra warmth. Alex was still sitting and staring at the floor. Mulder looked to Walter for help, Skinner shrugged and reached for Krycek's arm to help him stand.
Krycek made no move to get dressed on his own and didn't protest when Mulder lifted his leg to pull the pants on. Mulder tugged the pants up Alex's lean hips, he noticed that Alex was still thin despite the pregnancy, but there was a little more fullness to his body.
It wasn't the appropriate time, but Mulder couldn't help thinking about the round buttocks he had briefly touched while pulling on the scrubs. The surgical scrubs did nothing to dampen Mulder's appreciation. The pants clearly defined the full round cheeks, and Mulder wanted to reach out and take a handful.
Walter Skinner was reading Mulder's mind again and Mulder felt Skinner's disapproving eyes watching him. When Mulder looked up, he could see Skinner's own appreciation of the sight before him, but Skinner was shaking his head no. Clearly, Skinner thought the time was inappropriate as well.
Scully and Atkinson returned just as Mulder finished pulling the top over Alex's head. Atkinson had retrieved Krycek's jacket and boots from the other room and Mulder put them on Alex.
When the twins were wrapped in blankets and snug in their carseats, the group headed for the parking lot. They decided to take two cars and that Scully would ride with the new family and Atkinson would follow in his car.
While Mulder and Scully were strapping the carseats in the back of Skinner's sedan, Skinner asked Atkinson about Krycek's silence. Atkinson didn't feel he was qualified to make a diagnosis on Alex's mental condition, but suggested it was just emotional shock and exhaustion.
Krycek did look and act exhausted. Skinner guided him into the back beside the babies. Alex immediately fell asleep, his head dropping over against the window. Mulder turned sideways in the passenger seat and watched as Scully fussed with the twins.
"Samantha," Skinner announced out of the blue, when no one responded, he continued. "For our daughter. I would like to name her Samantha." He looked over at Mulder. "If that is okay with you, Fox."
"I would like that a lot, it's perfect, thank you Walter." There was a soft sleepy "Samantha" murmured from Alex in agreement.
"What about our son?" Mulder asked adjusting the blanket on the little boy. "I have always liked the name Michael."
"I like it, Michael it is."
Alex didn't seem to wake up, but he made another small murmur, they took as agreement.
Skinner pulled into the driveway of their darkened house. He hurried to open the front door and turn on the porch light. Mulder and Scully had unbuckled the carseats, leaving him to awaken the still sleeping Krycek. Skinner lightly prodded Alex's shoulder.
"Wake up, Alex. We're home." Krycek mumbled something but didn't wake up. Left with no other choice, Walter gently picked the sleeping younger man up and carried him into the house.
"I'm going to put Alex in the guest room next to ours, Fox, the one with the cribs. Would you and Scully bring the twins?"
"Sure, come on Scully, let's get Samantha and Michael settled in."
"So, you decided on some names." Atkinson walked in behind Skinner and shut the door.
"Randy, follow us up stairs and make yourself useful." Scully gave her lover a big grin. "Yes, the twins are now Michael and Samantha."
Skinner set Alex on the bed, while Mulder and Scully put the twins in their cribs. Scully was impressed with the amount of baby items the two men had obtained, she hadn't bought this much stuff herself, yet. Skinner was pulling the blanket back, to situate Alex, when Scully stopped him.
"Walter, do you or Fox have some sleepwear you could put Alex in, something more comfortable? Plus, when it's time to feed the twins, the scrub top will be hard for him to remove."
"Walter, you start undressing Alex and I'll get a set of pajamas," Mulder volunteered, he was already headed next door to their room.
"Do we even own pajamas?" Skinner muttered. He was having trouble removing the top, due to Krycek's prosthesis. "Scully why didn't you remove his arm before surgery?"
"There wasn't anytime. Go ahead and remove it now."
Skinner reached under the shirt and started unstrapping the arm, Krycek started stirring awake. "What ya doing?"
"Hey there, sleepyhead, I thought you would be more comfortable without your prosthesis. Is that okay?"
"Okay."
"Look who's awake. How you feeling, Alex?" Mulder had entered the room carrying a pair of red flannel pajamas that he handed to Skinner. "I found these in the back of your sock drawer, Walter. Still in the package."
Skinner gave Mulder a smirk. "Never needed them."
Mulder took the other side of Alex and helped Skinner dress him. Scully and Atkinson looked on with amusement, all three men were focused on each other. Krycek's face was turning the color of the pajamas.
"Where's Samantha and Michael? Where are we?" Alex looked around searching for the babies.
"We're home, Alex, the twins are right over there." Mulder pointed to the cribs. "Are you okay with the names we picked?"
"Yes. Can I see them?"
"Of course." Skinner put his arm around Alex's waist and helped him stand. He guided the young man to the cribs.
Samantha and Michael were both still sleeping. Scully had turned on each of the monitors in the cribs, she stepped back and allowed Krycek to stand next to the cribs.
Alex didn't say anything, but touched each child as if reassure himself they were breathing. Mulder joined Krycek and Skinner at the cribs. "They're beautiful."
"Very beautiful." Skinner kissed Alex's temple and then leaned over to give Mulder a kiss. "Let's get Alex here back in bed."
They escorted Alex back to the bed, and tucked him in. He was asleep immediately. Scully did one last quick check of the incision, readjusted the blanket and waved the men out the door.
Downstairs, Mulder made coffee and sandwiches. They had all adjourned to the kitchen and were sitting at the table. Scully amused herself watching Mulder hustle around the kitchen. She had never imagined her old partner could be so domestic after visiting his apartment. 'Must be Walter's influence.'
"How is Alex doing, Scully?" Mulder was sincerely concerned, but he also wanted to end Scully's enjoyment of his domestic skills. He placed the sandwiches on the table and poured coffee for everyone. Mulder leaned against the counter and waited for Scully's answer.
"The incision appears to be healing fine, we should get Alex to walk around a little more in the morning after a good nights sleep. Of course, we will have to wake him in couple of hours to feed the twins again."
"What about how withdrawn he is? Randy suggested it was only emotional shock and exhaustion." Skinner asked.
"Yeah, why is Alex being so quiet?" Mulder sat down in the chair next to his lover.
"Mulder, Alex has never been very talkative, except when he was trying to persuade or manipulate one of us. You're the psychologist, you tell us what you think is going on." Scully was surprised Mulder was being so 'un-Spooky', maybe he was to close too the situation.
"Mulder, Walter, think about it a minute. Alex Krycek just gave birth to twins that by itself is an emotional shock and exhausting. On top of that, he thought he had no friends, no family and was all alone. And from what little he did say, he thought we were going to take the babies from him, it appears he feels worthless and undeserving."
Mulder started to object, but Scully cut him off. "I am not saying this is true, only what I observed. A new mother, in this case a new father, can sometimes become depressed after giving birth, usually if the parent has had a lot of stress during the pregnancy and birth. I think we can all agree that this describes Alex's pregnancy."
"So you think Alex has 'postpartum depression'?" Skinner was taken back, the birth and Alex's return was a joyous moment for him, he didn't understand why Alex would be depressed.
"The hormonal changes could have caused chemical changes in the brain as well. The mood swings, the trouble concentrating are both good indicators of postpartum, but should go away in a few days. But, gentlemen, you should keep a close eye on Alex, you know he will say he is fine, when in fact he isn't and if he is experiencing postpartum depression, it needs to be addressed before it gets out of hand."
~~~~
Mulder crawled into bed and draped himself over Walter. He ran his fingers through his lover's chest hairs, absently trying to make crop circles.
"Walter?"
"Unhuh."
"Do you think Scully is right and Alex is suffering from postpartum depression?"
"I think, whether it is postpartum or not, we're going to have to be very careful handling Alex at this stage." Skinner rubbed his hand up and down Mulder's back. "Alex, well he's a survivor, we both know that, but as a survivor, he'll adapt to any situation to get what he wants."
"You think Alex is faking the depression? Do you think he's manipulating us?
"No, no one is that good of an actor, plus I don't think he would try and fool us with the innocent act again. But I do think, maybe, Alex might be thinking he has to accept living here with us in order to keep the babies. It shocked me when he thought we were going to take the twins from him."
"So you don't think Alex wants to be with us, as our lover, I mean?"
"Fox, I don't know what Alex is really thinking. This is all just guessing based on our past. Alex is too quick on his feet for his own good sometimes." Skinner nudged Mulder's chin up to face him. "He slept with both of us, then disappeared. We find him, he runs and now he suddenly is accepting a place in our home? It doesn't quite add up the way it should."
"Walter, what if he doesn't want to share our bed?"
Skinner hugged the younger man tightly to his chest. "Then he still has a home, no matter what. We need to make sure he understands, his place in our home has no bearing on whether or not he wants a sexual relationship with us."
Fox rolled over onto his back and draped his forearm across his eyes. "God, Walter, I know this sounds egotistical, but I didn't even consider Alex might not want us."
Skinner raised up and leaned over Mulder. Mulder had lost so much in his life, Skinner was determined he wouldn't lose anyone else. He planned to do everything in his power to not let that happen.
"The war is over, Alex has come in from the cold and into our home. We have Samantha and Michael to raise with him, we just need to be patient." Skinner leaned down and planted a quick kiss. "We love Alex and my heart tells me Alex loves us. It just may take some time to make him believe it himself."
Skinner captured Mulder's mouth with his own again, Mulder broke the passionate kiss and whispered, "Walter, don't start something you might not want to finish with all of our guests."
"Oh, I can finish this, you just have to keep quiet."
"I can do that," Mulder pulled Skinner down on top of him in a full body embrace. Skinner reached one hand over to the nightstand, finding and retrieving the lube without ever breaking contact with Mulder's lips.
He prepared his lover, slowly teasing Mulder open. Skinner then rolled Mulder over and spooned up against him. The older man gently entered his lover and began thrusting. Mulder turned his face over his shoulder and the two men kissed.
Skinner slipped his hand over Mulder's hip and down to his groin. He grasped the fully engorged penis and began pumping Mulder in the same sensual rhythm of his thrusts. Mulder climaxed bringing Skinner to orgasm seconds later. The two lovers remained embraced as they fell asleep.
~~~~
Alex opened his eyes and looked around the dimly lit room, his eyes quickly adjusting to the soft lights illuminating the cribs. He heard a small whimper from inside one of the cribs.
'That must be why I woke up' He eased out of bed, still sore from the c-section and walked over to the crying infant. Samantha was awake and fussing, but Michael was still sound asleep.
"Hi, Sammy, are you hungry? Is that why you're awake?" Alex cooed at his daughter and picked her up. The little girl immediately started to nuzzle his chest, answering his question the only way she could.
"I wonder where they put my arm, this is kind of awkward." Left with no other choice, he put Samantha back in her crib and unbuttoned the pajama top. Samantha had started to fuss again, but Alex quickly scooped her back up one-armed.
The little girl needed no more encouragement, her tiny lips found Alex's nipple and she began nursing.
"Samantha, you and Michael are going to love living here, I haven't seen all of the house yet, but your daddy Fox says it big and has a big yard. Maybe we can get a puppy or a kitten. Would you like that?"
"Oh, Samantha, I've done so many bad things in my life, I've hurt a lot of people, but especially your daddy Fox and daddy Walter. I don't deserve it, but they say I can stay here with you and your brother, make this my home too. I promise you, I'm going to try real hard to be what your other daddies want, and maybe they won't send me away."
"Are you finished, Samantha? I think Michael is waking up for his turn."
Alex put the Samantha back in her crib and picked up Michael. Alex couldn't figure out how to hold the baby to his other nipple without the prosthesis, so he sat on the bed and settled Michael next to him. Rolling onto his side and pulling a pillow over his truncated arm and created a makeshift cradle.
That was how Scully found them, she had set her watch alarm to wake her after two hours, thinking the babies would be hungry again. She had slipped out of bed and went to Alex's room. Scully smiled at the young man on the bed nursing his son.
"How are you feeling, Alex?"
"Hi, Scully. Samantha woke me crying to be fed. It was okay to nurse her, wasn't it?"
"Babies usually set their own schedule and I guess theirs was ahead of what I thought it would be."
"I'm sorry if Sammy's crying woke you."
"Don't worry, she didn't wake me, my watch alarm did. But I am surprised I didn't hear her over the baby monitor."
"She didn't really cry, just sort of whimpered."
"And you heard her?"
Alex shrugged, he didn't know why Samantha's small noise woke him.
"It's okay, Alex, you're just instinctively knowing when they want fed. You probably felt Samantha's need more than heard it."
"What about...when they need...changed?"
"Mulder and I changed them when we first settled them in. I'll check Samantha and then Michael when he is finished."
"Thank you."
"You're welcome, but it's no big deal. I understand it will take time to learn to change a diaper one handed, although you have managed feeding alright."
"No, that's not what I meant. I mean, I do thank you for, you know, changing them, but I meant thank you for everything. Helping deliver them, showing me how to nurse them and just, you know, everything."
"Alex, you're welcome."
Scully shook her head and reached over to brush a lock of hair off Alex's forehead. Michael had finished nursing, so she picked him up and carried him back to his crib.
When she had turned back around, Alex had buried his face in his pillow. Scully sat on the bed beside him. "Alex, it's okay."
"N-no, it's not okay. You hate me. Why are you being so nice? And not just to Sammy and Michael, but to me, everyone's least favorite rat bastard."
"Alex? Look at me." Scully waited for the younger man to turn over. She put her arms around him and made him face her.
"If anyone had asked me a year ago what you deserved, my answer would probably have been jail and, at times, I would have suggested a bullet. But that's changed."
"Why?"
"A lot of reasons. I guess first of all, Mulder and Skinner love you, so you can't be all bad."
"T-they love me?"
"I would have thought they would have told you by now. While you were gone, you were first and foremost on their minds. Not only because of the babies, but worried about you and the danger you were in."
"I can take care of myself," Alex stated from where his head was resting in Scully's lap.
"They know that, but it didn't stop them from worrying. Another reason, is without you, I wouldn't be carrying a child."
"You're pregnant? I thought after the abduction, you couldn't bear children."
"I couldn't, until we were able to duplicate the nanobots you were infected with. Now I'm pregnant with Randy's baby." Scully wiped her eyes to prevent her tears from spilling. "Alex, I can't forget everything you've done, we can't erase the past, but me being able to have a child, goes a long way in balancing the scale."
"Do you think Mulder and Skinner will ever really forgive me?" Alex had started to drift off to sleep. Scully lifted his head from her lap and moved him onto the pillow, a soft snore told her the movement didn't wake him. She got off the bed and leaned over an kissed his cheek.
"They already have, you just have to forgive yourself."
Perceptions by Laura