The MultiFandom MPREG Archive

Chapter 10

“Have you thought of any names for the child, Tony?” Ducky asked. He and Tony were alone for a moment since he’d successfully convinced Jethro to shower and change into the clean clothes he’d brought. He’d also told him to go for a walk and find some coffee. Gibbs been reluctant, of course, but Ducky gently reminded him that they weren’t alone. There were still Federal agents in place outside of the door. Gibbs still tried to argue but then Tony got to see Ducky pull rank and Gibbs had acquiesced although grumpily. This, then, was Ducky’s opportunity to engage Tony. The ultrasound seemed to have opened a rift within Tony’s self-imposed silence and Ducky was determined to get the young man to talk.

Ducky knew the poor lad had always hidden his insecurities behind a robust and rather loud personality. But it truly was only a small portion of what made up this complicated man. His true self was much more vulnerable and Ducky was sure that no one outside of Gibbs was allowed to see that. Oh, he had surmised how truly complex Tony was but it wasn’t anything Tony had allowed him to see. It was a picture that Ducky had put together over the last several years. But one of the main facets was Tony’s preoccupation with his place in their little family. He’d heard Timothy refer to Tony as an arrogant peacock, but Ducky knew the issue was not merely conceit. Tony’s poor and yet deeply-ingrained self-image required that he constantly prove to the world that he was attractive (hence the high-quality clothing, expensive hair styles and reports of sexual escapades), a top NCIS agent (based on his constant reminders to his co-workers to that effect and his belittling of Timothy’s educational merits) but mostly, he needed to prove (most notably to himself) that he was wanted and needed by both the team and particularly Jethro. It was his antics to obtain attention regardless of whether or not it was positive that screamed this need within him.

Fortunately Ducky knew that Jethro had understood his senior agent well enough to provide the stable environment Tony needed. In fact Tony had, during the course of his association with Jethro, finally succeeded in shedding many of the self-protective masks he wore.

“No, actually, I didn’t have any say in it at the time but you can be sure he won’t be Gianni Jr.”

“No, of course not, Tony.”

“I, uh, really don’t know what his name will be. First names aside, I’m not even sure of his last name. I know Jethro told you what DiNozzo said. Hell, probably everyone in both the FBI and NCIS know that by now. But it won’t be Constantino or DiNozzo. I’m just not sure about any names right now, first or last.”

“Well you do have time, my boy, so it isn’t a pressing issue.”

“Yeah,” Tony responded vaguely so Ducky decided to delve a bit deeper.

“I want to thank you again for allowing me to be present during your ultrasound. I found the experience very moving. And again I thank you for allowing me to be a part of your child’s upbringing.”

That brought Tony’s attention back to Ducky and he gave him a bright smile. “I’m really glad you agreed. It means a lot to me.”

Ducky smiled back and lightly patted Tony’s hand. “But you must tell me, Tony, if you have any concerns regarding the information Dr. Theurgenson provided regarding the rest of your pregnancy or the actual birth event.”

Tony took a deep breath. Stan had given him a lot of information which Dr. Smithson, whether through circumstances or design, hadn’t imparted. But it wasn’t anything he had to make decisions about. His pregnancy should continue like a normal female pregnancy and would conclude with his possibly having contractions (which still made him shudder to think about) leading to a caesarian section. Stan had explained that it was better to remove his womb later because to do so during birth led to hormonal imbalances that could be dangerous. As an aside he’d added that it also gave him time to think about having more children later which was something that Tony highly doubted he would want.

“No, not really. But I was kind of wondering…” Tony paused to glance at Ducky. His gentle and interested expression allowed him to continue. “Well, I guess I kind of wondered about this procedure when I first heard about it. McGee and I joked about it for a bit but I couldn’t really wrap my head around being a man and wanting to get pregnant, you know? And here I wasn’t given any choice and, well, I was mad…really furious and horrified. I kind of,” Tony looked down at the sheet that had again found its way into his twisting fingers.

“Yes, Tony?”

“Ducky, please swear you’ll never tell Gibbs, okay?” At Ducky’s nod Tony decided to tell him everything, knowing he could always trust him. “I wanted to kill myself, or at least provoke Gianni into doing it.”

“Oh, Tony, my poor boy,” Ducky’s compassion was so obvious that Tony felt tears come to his eyes.

“But I changed my mind, Ducky, when I saw the ultrasound for the first time. It wasn’t until that moment that I realized that there really was a baby growing inside of me and that I had a responsibility to him. That no matter what Gianni did to me, I had to make sure the baby was alright because he’s mine and he’s part of me, no matter who or what I am, you see?”

“Of course, Tony, your child is completely innocent of how he came to be…and is an entity unto himself, with his own personality and needs apart from those of his parents’, biological or otherwise.”

“Yes,” Tony nodded his understanding of just what it was Ducky was saying. Gratitude flooded through him. “He is. And he’s my responsibility so I have to do it right, or at least as right as I can. I’m going to do my best to be a good father…or mother, I guess,” Tony blushed slightly and his eyes danced away for a moment before again lighting on Ducky’s kindly blue eyes. “Which pretty much brings me to the next thing I need to ask you.”

Tony again paused and Ducky watched the color rise up into his cheeks.

“Ducky, you know me…a definite hit with the ladies…well, before Jethro, anyway… But I’m Jethro’s senior field agent, McGee looks up to me, Palmer…hell, Palmer wants to be me, well, the me I was before this…” Tony took a deep breath. “I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m a guy, a man with a man’s identity. Sure I’m bisexual but that’s just because I really like sex and it’s all great no matter who you’re with…except Gianni, of course, but never mind that. What I’m trying to say is…”

“Tony, my boy,” Ducky interrupted with a slight squeeze to Tony’s hand. “Calm down. You are sounding remarkably like Abigail which I’m sure is exactly opposite of what you are trying to convey.”

“Oh, God, yes, Ducky. I’m a man…”

“Yes, you are, Tony…”

“But what really has me confused is the fact that I like being pregnant. I like the thought that there’s a little Tony or maybe even an Antonia in there. And I really love feeling him move. What does that say about me, Ducky?”
And there it was, all of the vulnerability shining in the hazel green eyes that Ducky had up until then only seen in flashes.

“Oh, my dear boy, it says that you are open enough to understand how remarkable your situation truly is. It says that you are generous enough to accept and nurture the life within you regardless of the source. Tony, you are experiencing the most miraculous of life events from a viewpoint that has, up until now, been denied to men as a whole. You have every right to enjoy this incredible experience as it unfolds and it does not in any way diminish that fact that you are a man, in every sense of the word. I would dare say that it shows a remarkable amount of inner strength to embark on such a journey. The fact that you were forced into it and are still able to find positive reasons for continuing shows a level of strength and resiliency than many men of my acquaintance could only hope to achieve.”

Ducky took a moment to breathe, something he rarely needed being well accustomed to long-winded monologues. But this was such an emotionally charged discussion he felt the need to re-group a bit.

“Ducky, thanks…I really needed that.”

“Oh, you’re quite welcome, my boy, but I also truly feel the need to tell you just how much I admire you. In fact, I must admit to a bit of envy. If this procedure had been available when I was younger, perhaps my mother would have had the grandchildren she still insists I should be providing even now…”

And for the first time in quite awhile Tony actually laughed. It wasn’t a deep, hard laugh but it certainly was enough to lighten the pain in his beautiful eyes. And to Ducky’s great relief, Jethro took that moment to walk in giving him the opportunity to see the lightened countenance of the man he so loved. Ducky felt it was, all in all, a job well done.

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Gibbs had just finished getting a new cup of coffee. He felt better than he had in a while and mentally thanked Ducky for his thoughtfulness in providing clean clothing. He was just about to enter the elevator when his cell phone rang. He felt a momentary dread because he knew who was calling and his gut proved to be right yet again.

“Jethro, what’s your location?”

“Lobby, getting some coffee.”

“I’ll be there in two. No cream, please.”

“Yeah,” Gibbs replied before ending the connection and turning to order another cup.

A short while later Jenny felt the need to pull Gibbs out of the lobby and into the parking lot. Their heated discussion was beginning to cause concern among the pink ladies working the information desk.

“Jethro, you should have kept me in the loop. Instead I’m getting phone calls from the Assistant Director of the FBI asking about Tony and his involvement with his Family. They’re the ones telling me that my male ex-agent is now pregnant with a known mobster’s child from whom he ran away and that you are harboring him. They even tell me that you’re the one who called them in with tips about possible deals. At what point did you decide I didn’t need to know!”

“Jenny, I never made a conscious decision not to inform you. The simple fact is that things were moving too fast. By the time I got key players involved Tony had run again and I needed to find him. We were caught by Constantino’s men almost immediately after my locating Tony.”

“Well, it was fortunate that you were wearing a locator, then, wasn’t it? Or I might have lost another agent…oh wait, I forgot about McGee and Ziva who were also in the field looking for Tony.”

“I’m not going to apologize for using my assets as necessary.”

“Of course. You never apologize, but you totally disregard the fact that they’re MY assets.”

Jenny turned away for a moment. She needed to calm down just a bit because there was no way that she was going to let Gibbs know that this was far more than his failure to keep her in the loop or his misuse of her agents. There was no way she wanted him to know that her anger stemmed from the fact that everything that had happened was pointing to there being a more intimate relationship between Gibbs and DiNozzo than she was aware of, that Gibbs had done everything in his power to help a man who’d walked away nearly a year ago and who was no longer a part of their agency. Gibbs was loyal, she’d give him that, but it galled her that his loyalty seemed to be stronger towards DiNozzo than to her.

“Ah, here you are.”

Jenny turned to see Gibbs smirking at Agent Fornell as he approached.

“I heard that there was a commotion in the lobby and I made a quick assumption that Gibbs was somehow involved so I came right down. It’s good to see you again Director Shepherd.” He ignored the loud snort coming from Gibbs’ direction.

“Agent Fornell. I was told by your Assistant Director that you’ve been involved in this…situation…very nearly from the beginning.”

“Yes, Director, I was and I have to apologize for not notifying you of our request for assistance sooner. I’m afraid things snowballed rather quickly and I had to scramble to keep even my superiors aware of what was happening.”

“Your request for assistance?” Jenny eyed him skeptically and glanced at Jethro. To his credit Jethro kept his face completely neutral.

“Yes, Ma’am. When Agent Gibbs became aware of the potential situation he called me immediately knowing it fell within our jurisdiction. Since he had Tony Constantino sequestered I asked that he keep an eye on him until I could provide FBI coverage. Unfortunately, Tony chose that moment to depart the secure location with Agent Gibbs following. Both he and Agent Gibbs were subsequently captured by Gianni Constantino, Tony’s husband and an up and coming face in the mob world. We were forced to move up our plan to compensate. Fortunately, it worked out in that we were able to obtain enough evidence to charge Michael DiNozzo Sr. with illegal gun smuggling as well as attempted murder of both a civilian and a Federal Agent. Michael DiNozzo Jr. was killed at the scene, murdered by Gianni Constantino who, very unfortunately, escaped during the shootout. At this time we still have Tony in protective custody pending apprehension of his husband.”

God, it pissed her off when Jethro and Fornell teamed up together, unless it benefited her, of course. But now, because of his well-thought out brief, there wasn’t much she could do about it except to save face gracefully.

“Thank you, Agent Fornell, for the brief. Jethro, I expect to see a full report detailing my agency’s involvement by tomorrow.” And with a sharp look at both agents, Jenny Shepherd turned on her heel and walked to her car.

Both agents watched her leave and then Tobias turned to Jethro.

“A fifth of bourbon…good bourbon. Not that rot-gut you drink.”

Jethro just smiled and then turned to go back to Tony’s room. He was still pissed off but it melted away in a heartbeat when he saw Tony’s face as he walked into the room and he felt a bit of hope that things would be okay.