Guppy Love

“Happy Birthday, Jimbo.” Simon smirked as he and Rafe wheeled the huge cake into the narrow aisle next to Jim Ellison’s desk. The whole Major Crimes unit seemed to suddenly be standing around, grinning wildly. It was more than enough to make the detective nervous. They wouldn’t... at work? And where was...

“Oh, Blair ...”

The insistent buzzing in his ears resolved itself into his alarm clock.

“Damn,” Jim Ellison swore, tossing aside the pillow he had been clutching, and throwing one now empty arm over his eyes as he slammed the other down on the offending appliance. He’d been out late on a stakeout, but had chores to get done today, before going back on the stakeout later tonight. He didn’t have time to laze about dreaming, even if it were about his delectable little partner.

This is getting ridiculous... inside a cake? He’d been dreaming about his guide for months, and lately, for some reason that Jim wasn’t comfortable examining too closely, the dreams were becoming more and more involved. Who am I kidding? I’m in love with the little shit. What had started out as simple sex dreams were more and more often about grand romantic gestures; flowers and poetry. The sex was still there, but lately it was almost always prefaced by some declaration of love or commitment. And he wouldn’t know I existed if it weren’t for his damned dissertation. That was the part that left the big detective with a dull ache in his chest. The sure knowledge that one day Blair would finish that dissertation, and sail out of Jim’s life in the same whirlwind way he had come in, never looking back.

But a giant cake? And at work? Still, the thought of Blair announcing his love in front of everyone like that ... Jim sighed. It would never happen. Jim was sure that Blair would be open-minded enough not to judge his partner for his attraction to men, and in fact Jim hadn’t ever really tried to hide it. But Blair had never given any indication that he might be open to the idea himself, or even that he noticed Jim’s bisexuality. And even if he were interested, why would someone as young and vibrant and beautiful as Blair be attracted to a balding old hard-ass like me?

“Face it, Ellison, it’s never gonna happen,” he muttered to himself as he slowly rose and began to strip the wet, sticky sheets from his bed for the fourth morning in a row. “At this rate, I’m gonna have to start doing laundry a lot more often, or else invest in more sheets.” He sighed, tossing the sheets into his hamper before grabbing his robe to head to the shower and clean up the rest of the incriminating evidence.

Blair Sandburg tossed his pen down in disgust, unable to concentrate on the exam booklets in front of him. He slid open his top desk drawer, and reached inside to feel for the blue velvet jeweller’s box he’d placed there months ago. “Yep, still there.” He’d bought the pendant and chain, on impulse, thinking of Jim. It had cut his meagre bank balance back to pretty much non-existent, but he couldn’t take it back. Oh, the jeweller would let him return it, but as long as he kept it he could hope that someday he’d have the courage give it to Jim. That, someday, Jim would accept this gift and understand that Blair’s heart came along with it - that he wanted to belong to Jim, body and soul.

Courage, yeah, right! Blair snorted to himself. Sheer stupidity, more like. If he didn’t pound you to a pulp, he’d sure as hell kick your ass out into the street. Blair knew that Jim hadn’t wanted a roommate. He hated the clutter, the intrusion into his well-ordered life that the anthropology student brought with him. He’d just been too much of a big softie to leave Blair homeless. And you’ve been playing that, haven’t you? Taking advantage. Only a week, remember? How many more years do you suppose this ‘week’ can last? Blair knew, intellectually, that Jim wouldn’t throw him into the street with nowhere to go. But he also knew that he couldn’t stand to stay if Jim started to look at him with distrust or pity or maybe, worst of all, loathing. The mere idea of facing a Jim, sick with disgust aimed entirely at him, squeezed at the young man’s chest until he could barely breathe. It was too great a risk. He couldn’t take it, not ever.

Blair sighed again, standing to stretch out the kinks in his back and neck from spending too many hours hunched over his desk. You’re living on borrowed time, man. Blair knew he had more than enough information to finish his dissertation. And it wouldn’t be long before Jim figured that out, too. And then you’ll have no more reason to hang around him. And this time, when he had to pack up and leave, he’d be leaving the only real home he had ever found.

It’s not like he even needs you anymore to help with his senses... not that you were ever such a great guide in the first place. Jim had deserved a guide who could take care of himself, as well as Jim. Someone strong and reliable, someone he could depend on to be there for him. Not someone who got himself kidnapped or drugged or shot at. Jim deserved a guide who was a rescuer, not a rescuee. It’s probably just as well that he doesn’t really need a guide anymore. He hadn’t zoned on anything for months.

Blair just hoped that when the time came for him to leave Jim that he would be strong enough to do more than just curl up and die. How long could a body survive without its heart?

That evening Blair sat on the floor of the loft, essays, textbooks and exam booklets piled haphazardly around him, covering the table, the couch and a good portion of the floor. His lack of concentration at the office today meant that he had an even larger pile to contend with tonight. It was going to be a long evening, and for a change, Blair was grateful when his roommate had to go back out on his stakeout and wouldn’t be around to provide a pleasant but too time-consuming distraction. This is going to take into the wee hours as it is. With an exaggerated sigh and long grimace Blair bent to tackle the first assignment.

“Sandburg...” Jim started as he reached into the basket for his keys. Still tired, and disappointed that he had to work rather than staying home to sneak in a little Blair-watching, he turned toward his partner, and promptly forgot what he was planning to say. Blair was sitting on the floor, surrounded by papers, his glasses perched precariously on the end of his nose, beautiful Blair-hair hanging loosely around his shoulders. He’d reached absently to tuck a soft strand behind his left ear, just as Jim spoke.

Blair looked up to see his roommate frowning slightly as he reached for his jacket. “Jim, man, don’t worry. I’ll have the mess cleaned up before you get home. Promise.” He smiled his most endearing ‘trust me’ smile.

Jim’s heart skipped a beat at the sight. He waved his arm absently. “It’s okay, Chief. I was just going to say that I’ll probably be there all night tonight. Nothing seems to be happening though, so don’t worry. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“You’ve got tomorrow off though, right?” Blair looked up at his friend. Jim seemed even taller from his vantage point on the floor. Tall and built like some statue of an Adonis come to breath-taking life. Blair swallowed with some difficulty and looked quickly back down at his papers before his eyes could betray his longing. “I mean geez, man, it’s your birthday, and the weekend besides. Simon’s not going to make you work is he?”

“No, I don’t have to work. And yes, the party’s still on.”

“Uh, party? I don’t know what you’re talking about, man.” Blair dipped his head even lower, hoping his long hair would hide the bright red blush he could feel rising up his neck.

“Give it up, Sandburg. I know all about the ‘surprise’ party.” Jim smiled. Even if he couldn’t have seen Blair’s blush, which he could when he really looked, he could feel the warmth of Sandburg’s embarrassment.

“Aw, Jim, they’re gonna kill me if they find out I gave it away.” Blair shot Sandburg’s-patented-puppy-dog-eyes at his big partner, throwing in a little bite-the-bottom-lip for good measure.

Jim groaned inwardly. What I wouldn’t give to chew that sweet lip a little myself. “Relax, Chief, you didn’t. And I won’t either. I am capable of acting surprised, you know.”

“Sure, Jim.” Blair laughed. “Well then, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow. I have student meetings ‘til about three, but then I’m done for the day, so I’ll come home and fix you a late lunch and you can catch up on your sleep ‘til then, ‘kay?” He’d already turned back to his grading, and missed the soft smile on his partner’s face.

“You don’t have to go to any trouble...”

“C’mon man, no trouble. We both gotta eat, and besides, it’s your birthday.” Blair didn’t look up, afraid to let Jim see how important it really was to him, to take care of ’his’ sentinel.

“Okay, Sandburg. See you tomorrow.” Jim took one last lingering look before closing the door softly behind him.

Jim yawned hugely, as he quietly unlocked the door and let himself in. Christ, why can’t the criminals ever keep decent hours? 4 a.m. I’ll definitely be taking Sandburg up on that offer of sleeping in. He grinned wryly, knowing that wasn’t the only offer he’d willingly take his beautiful guide up on. If only he would offer. Sighing, he lowered his keys softly into the basket, letting his eyes adjust to the low lighting. Moonlight filtered in from the balcony doors, adding to the soft illumination of the single lamp left on in the living room, outlining Blair’s sleeping form.

The young man had obviously been hard at work. Most of the papers were off the floor at least, divided into several piles on the coffee table and couch. Blair was laying back, asleep, his arm hanging over the side of the couch, pen loosely held, looking ready to drop at any second. The textbook he’d been reading lay sandwiched between his side and the back of the couch, pages rather rumpled.

Jim stared down at his guide. His hair fanned wildly against the cushion, his glasses perched on the end of his nose, his lips, looking so soft and slightly open, begging to be kissed. He scowled at himself. Blair was so innocent in sleep, angelic even. It was the deepest debauchery to even consider the ravishment he wanted so desperately to visit upon his unsuspecting partner. He suddenly felt like nothing so much as a dirty old man.

Jim sighed. If he left Blair sleeping on the couch, the poor guy would barely be able to move in the morning. That was one piece of furniture that was definitely not conducive to a good night’s sleep. Especially when he’s all hunched up like that. I’m getting a kink in my neck from just looking at him. Kink. Jesus, Ellison, don’t even go there.

Back to the question at hand, how to get one sleeping Blair Sandburg from the couch into his room, preferably without waking him. Carrying him was the obvious answer. Could Jim physically lift Blair and carry him to his room? Of course. He could lift the kid, no problem. The delicate part of the operation would be after he got the young man into his arms. Jim knew he wouldn’t zone on Blair. He could never zone on his beautiful young partner. There was just too much of ‘Blair’ there for that. Blair was simply a smorgasbord for Jim’s senses and Jim knew he could never concentrate on a single sense long enough to zone. Before he could become lost in the swirling azure of Blair’s eyes, he would be caught up in the sweet smelling herbal shampoo, wafting around Blair’s head, or the soft swishing of Blair-hair against a flannel collar, or the gentle pulse beating against his skin wherever they touched. It was an endless exploration that Jim knew could fill the rest of his days if he allowed it.

The real question was, would he be strong enough to take his guide into Blair’s room, rather than his own, put Blair into the guide’s own bed, and leave him there to return to his own empty bed... alone? And, God, what if Blair woke up? How could he explain what he was doing, nevermind the raging hard-on he knew he’d be sporting as soon as he got that beloved body into his arms the way he’d been dreaming of doing forever.

Concern and common sense fought a brief battle. Love for his partner winning in the end, as Jim had known it would. He’s a deep sleeper. If I’m careful this’ll be no problem. Slowly, gently he lifted his sleeping partner, settling him against his chest. Then, stood stock still as Blair shifted and with a soft “mmmmm,” lifted his arm to rest against Jim’s neck and snuggled into Jim’s warmth.

Breathe, Ellison. Jim warned himself. Blair’s fingers seared his neck where they rested, soft curls were tickling his shoulder and back, and each soft exclamation of breath was fanning a flame burning deep in his groin. Get him into his own bed, fast, and then a cold shower if you need to, before you get into your own.

Jim carried Blair through the French doors into his small room and settled him onto the small bed there, removing his glasses and settling them on the nightstand next to the bed.

“Mmmmm,” Blair was mumbling again, still asleep, “Love you.”

Jim gasped, closing his eyes, to savour, just for a moment, the idea that Blair could have meant to say that to the big detective. Obviously Blair was dreaming. Who was the latest, Sara something? Unable to resist, he let his fingers brush the soft curls away from Blair’s face, lingering for a moment against the roughly stubbled cheek.

Blair sighed softly, aware he was dreaming. Why else would Jim be holding him in his arms? But it felt so good, dream or not, he snuggled into the big man’s warmth, letting his fingers trail along the smooth chest up to his neck. Jim was carrying him somewhere, hopefully upstairs to bed. Blair felt himself being settled into bed, alone. He sighed again, even in his dream, Jim wasn’t interested. “Love you,” he murmured, hoping to entice his partner to stay. DreamJim reached out to brush at Blair’s hair, sliding his fingers down Blair’s chin, and Blair nuzzled into those callused fingers slightly before they pulled away.

Blair decided he was getting really good at this dreaming thing. Those rough fingers felt so real. Blair struggled to open his eyes. “Jim?”

“Go back to sleep, Sandburg. You’re just having a dream.” Jim whispered holding his breath, waiting to see if the mostly sleeping guide would obey.

DreamJim said sleep, so Blair mumbled, “‘kay,” and slid deeper into the pillows. Besides, this was still his dream, he could seduce DreamJim if he wanted. He smiled softly. All right DreamJim, you are in for the night of my dreams, he thought as, with a soft growl, he pulled his dream lover into his arms.

Jim pulled the warm quilt up from the foot of the bed, covering Blair’s still clothed form, and with one last lingering look, sighed softly and left, shutting Blair’s door softly behind him. “Goodnight, Blair,” he whispered.

Jim looked up at the papers, still littered over the couch and coffee table. He bent to pick up the textbook, smoothing it’s crumpled pages and setting it, now closed, on the top of one of the stacks of booklets. Jim was a little surprised to find that he wasn’t particularly feeling the need to clean up Blair’s mess. Besides the fact that he was sure Blair must have some sort of system for keeping track of his papers, and he didn’t want to confuse things; he also knew that Blair had promised to clean the mess up and he would... eventually. Jim smiled wryly at how things changed. Once, the thought of leaving a mess like that even overnight would have been impossible; but now it was just kind of... nice. Like tangible proof that Blair was living here with him; that he was comfortable here; that he was staying. And Jim found he really liked having that proof; needed it even. Jim smiled, brushing his fingers once more across the papers, before slowly climbing the stairs to his own lonely bed.

Blair woke slowly. He smiled softly, running his hand down his belly to his waist as he stretched in his bed. Now that was a dream. His fingers paused a moment, running into the waistband of his jeans. He opened his eyes, looking around his room, a small frown of confusion wrinkling his brow. Or was it? Last thing he remembered he had been working in the living room. And then he was snuggled in DreamJim’s arms, right? He distinctly remembered DreamJim putting him in bed, brushing his cheek. Blair could still feel those rough fingers. But DreamJim sure as hell didn’t carry him in here and tuck him in.

So... instead of just leaving me to sleep on the couch or waking me up to get myself to bed, Jim carried me in here, he glanced around his room, fingering the quilt that had slid down to his waist, took off my glasses for me, Blair automatically slipped said glasses from his night stand into their case and the case into his backpack, as he continued to mull over this puzzle, and covered me up. He opened the door to peek out into the living room, and walked slowly over to the couch. It had never seemed so far before. He looked down, blinking, and looked again. Nope, the mess was still there. The textbook he’d been reading was closed, lying on top of one of the piles he’d made of graded booklets.

“Shit, look at the time. Oh, man, I am so gonna be late.” He ran to grab a change of clothes and dashed to the bathroom. No time for breakfast if I’m gonna have a shower, he smiled wryly to himself as he stripped his slept-in clothes, and tossed them in the hamper, and man, do I need a shower. He’d have to puzzle the rest out on his way to Rainier.

“Happy Birthday, Jim.” Blair smiled softly, shyly handing Jim a small box.

“Uh,” Jim licked his lips, having trouble finding his voice for a moment. Then, he grabbed the smaller man in his arms, “God, Blair, yes, I love you, too,” he sighed before leaning in for another, stronger, kiss...

Meeting finished, Blair sat, once again, at the desk in his small office, fingering the baby-blue velvet jeweller’s box, caution and hope warring within. Jim had to care about him, right? Those weren’t phantom fingers lingering on his cheek last night, were they? They felt too real for that, didn’t they? And Jim did carry him to bed. And he didn’t clean up my mess! Oddly enough, that was the part that gave the grad student the most hope. Maybe he was more to Jim than just an unwanted intrusion into his well-ordered life after all.

Suddenly coming to a decision, he tossed the small box into his backpack. After all, it was Jim’s birthday. If the gift didn’t mean as much to Jim as it did to Blair, he could just brush it off as a silly choice of birthday present, right? Jim would never have to know it was meant to be so much more than that.

At the loft, Blair unlocked the door and slipped in as quietly as he could. He didn’t have his ex-covert ops partner’s flair for creeping stealthily around unnoticed, but he could be fairly quiet when the need arose. And right now, he really didn’t want to wake Jim before everything was ready. Glancing quickly upstairs, listening intently he could hear the rustle of sheets and the soft snoring of his still sleeping partner. Perfect.

Slipping his shoes off, he padded softly to his room. Quickly settling his backpack to the floor beside the bed, he slowly pulled the zipper, easing it open just enough to slip his hand inside and pull out the jeweller’s box. It wasn’t wrapped, but he tied a soft silver ribbon around it to decorate it a little and slipped it into his pocket.

Back in the kitchen, he began, as quietly as possible, to rummage through the refrigerator and cupboards, gathering everything he needed to make the late lunch he’d promised Jim. At the last minute, he’d decided he wanted this to be special. A special meal to mark what he hoped would be a special occasion. One he and Jim would remember and celebrate in the years to come. Working quickly and quietly as possible, Blair threw together a hearty lasagne (no scrimping on the meat and cheese, just this once), a Caesar salad (complete with real heart-attack-in-a-bowl dressing) and a small loaf of garlic toast. And to top it all off, Jim’s favourite Ben & Jerry’s waited, hidden in the freezer.

Grabbing a cold soft drink from the fridge, Blair headed to the couch. Dinner taken care of, he wanted to finish his grading and get the mess out of the way before Jim woke. He’d planned to have the mess cleaned up last night, promised Jim in fact, and didn’t want his friend to be annoyed or disappointed with him; not today of all days. Settling on the floor, Blair sighed, reaching for the exam on the top of the nearest pile, and went to work.

When next he glanced up, it was to see Jim standing at the foot of the stairs, bathrobe loosely tied at his waist, watching him. He glanced at the papers still laying in piles around him. The composition of the various piles had changed, but probably not appreciably to anyone not intimately familiar with their contents.

Shit! Blushing, Blair started to shuffle all the papers together, “Sorry, man, I’ll get this out of your way.”

Jim had moved forward, and placing a light hand on Blair’s arm to stop the frantic shuffling, smiled. “It’s okay, Chief. You might as well leave it there until you’re finished. No point in messing up your system.” Then he chuckled and headed off to the shower. “Smells like dinner’s about ready,” he called over his shoulder before he closed the bathroom door behind him.

Blair could only stare. Breathe, man. Jim Ellison... anal-retentive, clean-freak Jim Ellison had just come down the stairs, looked at the mess his roommate had made (must be at least half a dozen broken house rules, here) and just said “leave it”? And chuckled!

The soft ‘ding’ of the oven timer jolted Blair from the whirling thoughts rushing around his brain. Jumping up from the floor in front of the couch, he took the hot, bubbling lasagne out of the oven, setting it aside to cool a bit, in deference to sensitive sentinel taste buds. He glanced back at the bathroom door once more, before moving to set the table, pulling out the salad, tossing in the dressing, and throwing the loaf into the oven to warm up. Hope flared brightly, as Blair slid his fingers into his pocket, fingering the gift waiting there.

Jim smiled again as he stripped off the robe, now somewhat smeared with the lingering results of last night’s dreams, and stepped into the shower. It was silly to be so happy over such a simple thing. Blair’s mess was still there; Blair was still there; in Jim’s life, in the living room. Their living room. That’s how Jim had begun thinking of it, as their place. He’d never mentioned it to Blair though. No sense scaring the poor kid. But it was Jim who was scared. Terrified actually, of saying or doing anything that would chase the kid away; cause the kid to leave, to run and never come back. He wanted Blair to stay, always.

He thought back to the dream, remembered the image of Blair, kneeling, proposing. Remembered the thrill, how his heart squeezed in his chest when Blair opened the jeweller’s box to reveal wedding bands, how the love swelled, filling his whole being with contentment and pure, unadulterated joy. How perfect it felt, he and Blair, together, forever. The sex, he knew would just be the icing on the cake, so to speak. Desired, absolutely. Enjoyed, undoubtedly. Blissful, because it would be the expression of their love. And commitment, he insisted to himself, to be together forever. Jim knew he couldn’t handle a fling with Blair. It would have to be all or nothing. Nothing. Well, Jim had settled for friendship this long. And he would continue to do so, for as long as Blair was willing to stay. Sighing, Jim wrapped a towel around his hips and left the bathroom.

Blair heard the bathroom door open, “Ready whenever you are...” his voice trailed into silence, the sight of Jim, still damp from the shower, sunlight glistening off his naked chest, completely wiping any further speech from his awe-struck mind. Then realising what he’d said, he blushed, stammering, “D-dinner, that is. I... I mean dinner is ready. N-not...” For god’s sake Sandburg, just shut up before you sound like a complete idiot, he berated himself.

Jim barely heard Blair’s small speech, as he stared at the vision, silhouetted by the sunlight shining through the kitchen. His guide was wearing old faded jeans. Jim could imagine how worn and soft they would feel by the way they molded to the young man’s legs. And there was that same beautiful vest he’d been wearing when they first met, this time over a white t-shirt that molded itself to the young man’s chest. His beautiful Blair-hair was shining, multi-hued, and hanging in soft curls, framing his handsome face, while his blue eyes were wide and staring. Jim blinked, stepping back. Blair must have noticed how Jim’d been devouring him with his eyes. “I’ll just go get dressed and be right back...” he mumbled, and bounded up the stairs, two at a time.

Don’t bother on my account, Blair thought. Then, geez, I hope the drooling didn’t scare him off.

By the time Jim came back down the stairs, Blair had dinner served. He bent, reaching to pull a couple cold beers from the back of the fridge. Jim sighed, then settled quickly into his chair, making a show of smelling the lasagne, when it was really Blair’s scent that filled his nostrils. Eventually though, awareness of the meal before him clicked into Jim’s brain.

“Whoa, Sandburg, I thought you were going to make a simple late lunch. No trouble you said. Remember?”

“Relax, Ellison. It’s your birthday, remember?” Blair grinned at his partner, “and it wasn’t any trouble... really. So, enjoy.”

Jim inhaled again, this time actually savouring the scents wafting from the meal before them. Something smelled different. Raising his eyebrows, he glanced an inquiry at his still grinning partner, and cautiously took a bite. Flavour exploded over his tongue. “God, Chief, this is really...” He couldn’t finish, too busy enjoying the next mouthful.

“Yeah, Jim, this meal is a quadruple by-pass waiting to happen. I know. But it’s a special occasion, so I figure, for once, what the hell. Bon appetit. And happy birthday!” Blair smiled softly, enjoying his partner’s sighs and growls of pure relish, as he devoured the meal before him. There was never any doubt whether Jim enjoyed a meal. Warmth spread through Blair’s chest, and pride, that he’d made his sentinel happy.

Jim swiped the spoon one last time around the empty ice cream dish, wanting to get every last bit of the cool treat. “Give it up, man,” Blair chuckled, “you got it all.”

Jim dropped the spoon into the dish with a clatter. Sighing he sat back, rubbing his stomach. Feeling full and content, and secretly pleased that his partner would go to such trouble as this, just for him. “Thanks, Blair.” He smiled at the younger man, “that was delicious. You always come up with great birthday presents. It’ll probably be the best one I get all evening.”

Well, it’s now or never. Blair’s heart skipped a beat as he reached into his pocket, and pulled out the ribbon-wrapped jeweller’s box. “I hope not Jim,” he paused as he set the box on the table in front of his partner, “because I have this one right here, with your name on it.”

Jim hands moved as if in slow motion, reaching forward to pick up the pale blue box, wide eyes travelling between it and Blair’s nervous eyes. Dialling up a little, Jim could hear his partner’s racing heart. He could scent the tang of Blair’s excitement, almost taste the young man’s anticipation, but with a touch of fear as well. And he could see the slight shivers, hear the shallow breathing hesitate altogether.

Jim could only stare at Blair. Here it was, his dream come to life. Blair, holding his breath, his heartbeat pounding a deafening rhythm in Jim’s ears. Jim tore his eyes away from his nervous partner to look again at the small box in his hands. Trembling fingers struggled for a moment with the bow, before sliding it off and prying open the stiff lid. Jim blinked. There nestled in its bed of soft satin lay a pendant, attached to a chain.

“It’s a fish.” Jim looked at the small pendant, trying to understand why Blair would be so nervous about giving him a gift like this. And trying not to be disappointed. What’s the matter? Not exactly the grand romantic gesture you’ve been dreaming of?

“Well, yeah, kind of...” Blair was watching intently, waiting for Jim’s reaction.

“It’s not a fish?” Now Jim was even more confused. There was obviously more to this than Blair was letting on.

“No, it is...”

“It’s a fish.”

Blair couldn’t say anything more. It was your imagination, fool. Look at him. He doesn’t understand at all. Blair swallowed back his disappointment, blinking suddenly wet eyes.

Jim was studying the pendant, softly running his fingers over it. It was a fish, small and colourful, arched as if in the middle of a graceful leap. Obviously it was important to Blair that Jim understand what he was trying to say with this gift. Is it possible? Hope suddenly clenched in Jim’s belly, but it seemed so farfetched. As likely as a dream coming true.

“Chief?”

No response.

“Blair?”

“What, Jim?” He couldn’t look at his friend, knowing that the heartbreak was too fresh and would be visible in his eyes if he turned.

“What kind of fish is this?”

“Doesn’t matter Jim, just a fish.”

“Are you sure?” Jim looked searchingly at Blair, wonder and hope warring with doubt.

“Yeah, it was a stupid idea...”

Silence.

“Oh... I guess... I was hoping...” Jim sighed wistfully, slowly turning away.

“What?” Blair perked up immediately, confused and strangely heartened by the sad tone in Jim’s voice.

“Hmm?”

“Hoping what Jim?” Blair was holding his breath now, feeling as though his future with Jim depended on whatever his roommate had to say to him now.

“Well,” Jim began, fervently praying he hadn’t read the whole situation and Blair’s signals all wrong. “I was thinking that it looks a lot like... a guppy...” He paused, hearing Blair’s swift intake of breath and accelerated heartbeat. Hope once again began its frantic beating in his chest.

Jim pulled the gift out of its small box. “And this chain looks about the right length... to keep this guppy resting next to my heart...” Jim smiled hesitantly, looking down at the pendant and chain he was still absently fondling, running through his fingers. Slowly, he lifted his head, intently studying the man standing only an arm’s length away, still just a little afraid to take that last big risk and reach out to pull Blair into his arms.

“Right where he belongs,” he whispered instead. And then Jim smiled shyly, thrilled at the shock and wonder dawning in his partners eyes.

“Jim?” Blair squeaked.

“Help me put it on?” Jim leaned down, but not too far.

Blair had to step closer, in order to be able to reach up around the taller man’s neck. He could feel the warmth of the big man’s body tingling along his whole length.

Jim inhaled deeply, breathing in the soft scent of Blair, letting it tickle his senses the way that his soft springy hair was tickling Jim’s nose. He let his hands drift to Blair’s sides, settling at his waist, holding firmly enough not to tickle but loosely enough that Blair would know he could walk away if he wanted to.

Blair could feel Jim’s hot breath against his neck. His fingers were trembling so badly, he couldn’t possibly work the clasp. Then he felt Jim’s large rough hands settle softly at his waist, followed immediately by a surge of blood settling slightly below his waist. Ohmigod!

And then it was there, Jim caught the scent immediately, the heady tang of Blair’s arousal. Slowly he began to slide his hands up under the young man’s shirt. “Blair?” Jim looked up into his partner’s still surprised eyes, fingers flicking at the nipple ring he could feel hidden in the midst of a forest of silky chest hair.

Blair gasped, arching his back, “Oh god, Jim, yesss,” he moaned. Pulling on the big detectives arms, Blair started to lead him toward the stairs. “Let’s go.”

Jim slowed, blushing. “Not upstairs.”

Blair looked back, momentarily confused. “Why not, Jim?”

Jim, if possible, turned an even deeper shade of red. He mumbled, not meeting Blair’s eyes.

“Jim? You’ll have to do better than that, man. I don’t have your hearing.”

“I said,” Jim repeated, “I don’t have anymore clean sheets.” At Blair’s blank look, he sighed. “I’ve been having dreams... about you... and I haven’t had time to do laundry lately... and I don’t have any more clean sheets.” He hung his head, too embarrassed to meet Blair’s eyes.

“Really?” Blair pulled Jim’s head up, to meet his gaze, eyes twinkling. “Dreams? About me?” He wrapped his arms tightly around the big detective, pulling him tight to his chest, pushing the heat of his erection against Jim’s strong thigh, leaving no question as to his interest in his partner. “What kind of dreams, Jim?” he whispered, knowing that the sentinel would hear him.

Jim leaned down, lips almost brushing against Blair’s, whispering, “the very best, extra special kind,” before flickering his tongue across his lips and lowering the last tiny bit to cover the slightly parted lips he found waiting there. He brought his left hand up, burying it in soft Blair-hair, pulling the young man hard against him. Sucking lightly on the lush lower lip before brushing his tongue around Blair’s lips and into the young man’s mouth, Jim felt the coolness and tasted the last lingering sweetness of their ice cream dessert, and under that the faint mint of Blair’s toothpaste. And there, under that, he found the special almost-spice that was Blair. Jim moaned, the taste of Blair joining the sweet musk of his arousal, burning a straight path to Jim’s groin.

Blair echoed Jim’s moan, the vibration tickling against his own lips. “Well, let’s move this to my bed then,” he drawled, when he could find his voice again. “I still have one set of clean sheets.” He winked up at his big partner. “I guess we’ll be doing laundry tomorrow, huh?”

“Maybe, in between other things, Chief.” Jim growled.

“Oh,” Blair arched his brows, waggling them suggestively, “like what?”

“C’mere and I’ll show you.” He tugged on the smaller man, moving swiftly into Blair’s room. Letting go of Blair’s hand momentarily, Jim impatiently brushed the assorted books and papers off Blair’s bed onto the floor on the other side.

Blair gaped. “Jim, what are you...”

Jim turned, grabbing the young man and tumbling them both onto Blair’s narrow bed. “I’ll help you sort it out tomorrow,” he mumbled against the neck he was nuzzling, “you’ve driven me to this, it’s your own fault.” Stripping Blair quickly of vest and shirt, Jim tossed them aimlessly, not bothering to watch where they landed. He lowered his head to press his lips along the newly revealed chest, leaning in to lave tenderly at the nipples nestled there.

“Oh Jim, yesss,” Blair hissed, pulling Jim’s head tightly against him.

Fascinated, Jim threaded his tongue through the silver ring, tugging gently, and was surprised at the immediate results. Blair gasped, arching his back off the bed to press along Jim’s length. Pushing his chest against Jim’s tormenting lips, at the same time, grinding his aching cock against Jim’s matching hardness. “Oh, Jesus, Jim that’s... oh, yeah...”

Jim could feel Blair’s heat, pressing into his belly and without moving his lips away from the nipples they were teasing, he slid his hands down to Blair’s jeans, making quick work of the button and zipper. Pushing the jeans aside, he started nibbling down Blair’s chest, following the narrowing line of hair marking the trail. Pausing a moment to swirl lightly around the sweet hidden navel, he smiled at Blair’s breathy gasps, before moved lower still to nuzzle at the soft nest of curls peeking out from the splayed jeans. He inhaled deeply, wanting to imprint forever the musky scent of Blair into his brain, here where it was strongest, pure Blair; salty sweat and pre-cum, and the spicy-sweet tang that was just Blair.

Blair shuddered. He could hear Jim, knew what he was doing, had in fact seen Jim doing it before, inhaling deeply to identify some unknown scent, but it had never before made him feel like this. He never knew it could be so erotic, so arousing to have a lover, a mate, just inhale like that, to take your personal scent so deeply into themselves. God, if he keeps that up, I’m going to be coming in my pants every time I see him so much as sniff a flower. “Jim...”

Jim looked up at Blair, eyes drowsy with passion, licking his lips. He directed a feral grin at Blair, “Let’s get these pants off.” Blair wiggled and squirmed, helping Jim pull the snug jeans down his legs, before kicking them across the room. And then he paused, the realisation that he was laying in his bed, naked and panting, with his erection riding his belly, causing a blush to rise up his neck, staining his cheeks.

Jim hadn’t moved from his position next to Blair’s hip leaving him a wide-open view of Blair’s aroused organ. “Blair, baby, you’re so beautiful,” he breathed in a reverent whisper. And then he inhaled another deep breath, causing a flutter deep in Blair’s belly and a twitching of his already erect cock. “So beautiful,” he repeated before lowering his head to skim his lips along the length of Blair’s hardness.

“Oh, Jimmy, yesss....” Wet heat enveloped Blair, as callused fingers moved to fondle his balls, teasing, rolling, with the gentlest of touches. Teasing nibbles roved up and down his length, before burrowing lower, nuzzling at his sac, licking at the sworls of springy hair, rubbing and nipping gently at that special spot on his perineum.

“Oohhhh... like that... oh, please...” Blair’s head was thrashing back and forth against his pillow, hair flying wildly.

Jim smiled against Blair’s soft flesh, before moving to take his lover’s cock once more into his mouth. “Mmmmmm,” he growled, knowing the vibrations would tickle along Blair’s nerves. “You taste so good, baby.”

“Please, Jimmy, that’s....” Blair pulled at Jim’s head holding him tight, “can’t... gotta...” he started bucking his hips, pushing, pulling, grasping at Jim, “Jim... can’t hold b-...” and Blair screamed, arching into his partner’s mouth as Jim swallowed and swallowed.

“All mine,” Jim licked his lips, wiping his chin with a contented chuckle. Climbing up to lay beside his guide, Jim left his hand slide up as well, to rest on Blair’s chest. “How was that?” he asked.

Blair turned with an incredulous look, “You have to ask?”

“Well,...” Jim blushed.

Blair reached a trembling hand to Jim’s cheek. “I’ll get back to you, as soon as I’m sure I’m still alive.” He smiled softly, pulling Jim down for a deep, devouring kiss. He pulled back, grinning, “So that’s what I taste like, huh?”

“Delicious little guppy, aren’t ya?” Jim grinned back.

“But Jim,...” Blair hesitated, “I’m feeling kind of...”

“What?”

“Well, here I am all naked and sweaty and satisfied, and you’re still dressed and...”

“Satisfied.” Jim said firmly, nuzzling Blair’s chin.

“But you didn’t...”

“Baby, making you feel so good is the most satisfying thing I can do.” And Jim kissed his partner, silencing him momentarily.

“Well, aren’t you just the big ol’ sweet-talker.” He smiled, holding Jim back from further kisses, “but Jim, I wanna take care of you, too.”

“Well, in that case, my little guppy, I’m all yours,” Jim sighed and with a flourish lay back on the bed, arms spread wide in invitation.

And Blair jumped, straddling Jim’s hips, reaching with trembling fingers to unbutton his lover’s shirt, pushing it open to expose Jim’s heaving pectorals. Leaning down, Blair blew a puff of air against Jim’s chest. “What would you like, Jimmy?” he asked, running his fingers lightly along Jim’s ribs, his soft hair trailing along Jim’s chest, teasing his nipples into tight buds.

“Ohmigod... hmmmmm, yeah... h-how about that you d-don’t call me ‘Jimmy’?” he gasped.

“Oh,” Blair pouted, “but see how much you like it....” He leaned over licking Jim’s nipple before breathing “Jimmy,” softly across it, pulling a gasp from his big partner. Blair glided his tongue down his sentinel’s lean abs, before puffing, “Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy,” and watching the clenching reaction it produced, “See?”

“Jesus, Sandburg...” Jim practically wailed, as Blair breathed “Jimmy,” into his quivering navel. “Okay, I give up, just, please, not in front of the guys.”

Blair allowed himself a grin against Jim’s belly, before reaching for his partner’s pants. “Here, let me,” Jim lifted his hips, ripping his pants and underwear off and flinging them to the floor, leaving himself clad only in his open shirt and white socks.

Blair pushed him back down, inexplicably turned on by the sight. He sighed softly, “All mine, remember?” as he slid questing fingers up the length of corded thigh on display. He splayed Jim’s thighs wide, settling between them, “Jimmy?” he breathed into the groin on display for him.

Jim looked down at his guide with fever-bright eyes, “Blair, baby, please, touch me, suck me, anything!” he pleaded.

Blair grinned, and obeyed, attacking with gusto, licking and squeezing and teasing, but not letting the big man come. Teasing him to the edge and then pulling him back from the precipice, over and over, until Jim was thrashing and moaning incoherently, “Oh god... baby... pleeease... like th-... oh... mmmmm... baby... m-more... Blaaairrr..."

Blair lifted Jim’s legs higher, exposing his tight pucker to the guide’s hot gaze. Abandoning Jim’s weeping, rigid cock for the moment, continuing the nibbling trail across the sensitive flesh between scrotum and anus, Blair swiped a single lick across Jim’s hole before blowing “Jimmy?” across it and looking questioningly up at his lover.

“God, baby, d-don’t stop...” Jim clenched his teeth on the moan as he felt Blair’s strong tongue pushing into him, sucking and teasing at his opening. His cock was throbbing unmercifully, a counterpoint to the warm wet stabs of Blair’s tongue.

“Jimmy, can I ...”

“Fuck me,” the sentinel growled before Blair could finish, “please baby, now.”

Blair scrambled off the bed, diving at the drawer on his nightstand, searching frantically for several beats before coming up with the supplies he needed. Tearing the condom wrapper with his teeth, he rolled it on, ready by the time he’d resumed his position between Jim’s open thighs. Flipping the top off the lube, he squeezed a generous amount onto his fingers before sliding two deeply into Jim. He twisted and scissored them, sliding them in and out, preparing his lover for the next step.

Jim groaned, clenching his muscle around Blair’s slick fingers. “Oh, baby, more... harder... I need you... in me... soon.”

“Soon, Jimmy,” Blair added a third finger, “I need to make sure you’re ready. I won’t hurt you. I can’t. Hold it for me... until I’m inside, Jimmy... you can do it.” He pressed deeply, stroking across the sensitive nub he could feel there.

Jim bucked wildly, “Oh please, baby... not there... I won’t be able... oh God, now, Blair... Now!”

Blair pulled out his fingers, replacing them at the same time with the head of his cock, pushing slowly, “Breathe, Jimmy, relax.” Blair was soaring, he’d never felt anything so incredible in his life. This was Jim, his beautiful sentinel, and he, Blair, was making him writhe and growl like that, wracking that beautiful body with tremors of need.

Jim gasped at the intensity of sensation. His Blair, his guide, was fucking him, was inside him. He could feel Blair’s throbbing pulse in his ass, the slight swelling of his organ as even more blood pumped into it. Jim could feel the delicate trembling in Blair’s limbs, the almost imperceptible shaking of his fingers, the heavy uneven panting. It was obvious to sentinel senses, the struggle Blair was going through to go easy and be tender with his lover. Jim’s heart swelled with love at the care his guide was taking, but tenderness was not what he wanted right now. He reached around Blair, pulling him tight against him as he squeezed his ass around Blair’s cock and rocked upward into Blair’s hips. “Now, baby, hard and fast,” he gasped, “Fuck Me Sandburg!”

And Blair thrust, pounding a relentless rhythm into his sentinel. He knew it wouldn’t last long, Jim was so close. Blair shifted a little, making sure each stab nudged against the big man’s prostate.

“Oh... uuhhh... B-Blair... I can’t... oh, baby... that f-feels so... oh God... Blair, I’m g-gonna... gonna...”

“C’mon man,” Blair was gasping now too, “give it to me, let it go Jimmy.”

“Blaairr,” the hoarse yell echoed through the small room as Blair felt the clenching of Jim’s ass at the same time as Jim’s cock exploded, shooting it’s warm, wet load across both their chests.

“Jiimmm!” and with one final thrust, Blair felt his own orgasm explode, vision narrowing to Jim’s sleepy, contented smile. He collapsed, boneless, onto Jim’s chest, gasping for breath. He felt himself slip slowly out of Jim and reached down, slipping off the condom and tossing it in the general direction of the wastebasket, before settling back against the broad chest.

“Ohmigod, Jim, that was unbelieeevable...” he cuddled into his lover’s embrace, “I don’t know about you but I never imagined; well, I imagined but I never thought that you would, you know, or that we would, well you know what I’m saying. I mean really Jim, just look at you, and look at me. I mean, you’re all gorgeous and buff, but, you know, a cop. And geez, I’m this short, geeky, hairy, ‘witch-doctor’ type and who would believe, I mean, don’t get me wrong here, I’m glad, re-ealy glad, but it’s still kinda weird, you know? Good weird, but strange all the same...” Sandburg’s mouth and hands continued on. And on.

Jim sighed, no matter how much things changed, somehow they stayed the same. And what a beautiful thought. “Sandburg, breathe, okay?” Jim let his fingers trail along Blair’s arm. “I love you, and you’re beautiful.”

Blair jumped off Jim, leaning over the side of the bed. “Christ Chief, I didn’t just make you sick did I?” he grumbled, “what the hell are you...”

Blair sat up, triumphantly waving his crumpled t-shirt, “I don’t know about you, but I don’t plan on getting out of this bed anytime soon,” he grinned, using the shirt to clean them up as much as he could, before tossing it back on the floor. Eyebrows raised, he glanced at Jim, “No comments? No mention of broken house rules?”

“As a matter of fact, Chief, I don’t recall exactly considering this situation when I developed the house rules.” He grinned at Blair, pulling the young man in for a sweet, exploring kiss. “In fact,” he punctuated with a quick kiss, “I think,” he nuzzled aside Blair’s soft curls to whisper directly in his ear, “situations like this one should be exempt from house rules.”

Blair trembled, Jim’s warm breath tickling against his neck. “Oh God Jim,” tears threatened to spill over before he blinked them back, “I just love you so much. Happy birthday.” Blair leaned over to kiss Jim’s throat where the pendant lay, twinkling softly in the dim light.

“Like I said before,” Jim murmured, softly, “you always give the best presents. I’m sure no one else’ll give me anything nearly as good.” Jim smiled, lazily nuzzling Blair’s ear, letting his tongue flicker over the ticklish area, playing with Blair’s earrings.

“You’d better not even be thinking about getting presents like this from anyone else, mister.” Blair giggled, twisting away from the big man’s teasing tongue.

“Only you Blair. Forever.” Jim was suddenly solemn. “I love you.”

“God, I love you too, man. Forever.” And with that, Blair threw his arm across Jim and snuggled into his lover’s chest, perfectly content to stay there, always... or at least until they had to get up and get ready for a certain ‘surprise’ birthday party.

“Jim, about your birthday party...” Blair’s fingers played absently with the pendant laying next to his cheek.

“Yeah?” Jim sighed, too content to even contemplate leaving the comfort of Blair’s arms and rather disappointed that Blair could.

“How about if the surprise is on Simon and the rest of them and we don’t go?”

“Jesus, Sandburg, I love you.” Jim couldn’t stop the huge silly grin splitting his face. “The best birthday presents and the best ideas, all in one sweet, smart, sexy little package. I’m definitely keeping you.”

Jim rolled over, trailing tickling fingers up Blair’s sides.

“Oh, God... J-Jim, don’t do th-... JIM... Jiiimm... mmmmm...”