The Secret Logs of Mistress Janeway
by NovaD
Yeoman Tonia Barrows

Note of What Has Gone Before: Harry Kim found himself obsessed with the holocharacter Marayana, and asked for Tuvok's assistance.  Tuvok also fell under her spell until he discovered she was the projection of a lonely alien.

Captain’s Personal Log:

I was very good at reading Commander Chakotay. It was clear that he and Barrows were heading towards a collision. I knew the potential conflict was explosive. But my recovery from my adventure on the Enterprise kept him from pursuing her for a while. Chakotay was not a man that forgot things, but I had hoped that with enough distractions and my personal attention, his interrogation of Mistress Barrows wouldn’t be so pointed.

I was doing very well. The studies on the Necron Expanse were keeping everyone focused. And then there was the luau. Oh, the party itself was fun in a goofy sort of way. Neelix’s version of poi is indescribable. But what was really fun was the naked hula dancing in Chakotay’s quarters afterward. I had no idea he could wiggle his hips so well. Or that I could, for that matter.

We reported to work with sore thighs, orifices and strained lower lumbar regions. I was also having problems with the giggles. We had plans to continue our fun with leis when I found out about the holographic bitch trying to abscond with Tuvok. On top of that, I found out that all of this might have been avoided if my feather headed First One had opened his mouth to me instead of Tuvok.

This was something I was pointing out to Kim as he hung from my ceiling.

"At least you realized that you needed to be in control of yourself," I said as I circled him. "The question I ask again, First One, is why you failed to come to me."

He lowered his head. "I was ashamed."

"To come to me," I said. "I opened you to all levels of sensual experience. I above all would have understood your feelings. Part of my role is to help you deal with your urges."

"I felt like an idiot," he said.

"You’re a young man with active glands," I replied. "I am not troubled by the attraction. From Tuvok’s report, she was a compelling being. I am very hurt and angry over your lack of faith."

"I’m sorry, Mistress," he whispered.

"I am too, pet" I replied. "I have failed you utterly. Perhaps it would be best for your service to end."

Kim’s head snapped up. His eyes were huge.

"Please, Mistress," he said. "I couldn’t stand that."

"Couldn’t you?" I asked. "It is apparent that my gentle, sensuous hand was not enough to make you trust me explicitly where matters of sex are concerned. I require this from a slave above all else."

"What do you mean?"

"You must submit to training, dear one," I said. "You must learn the way a postulant learns: by the lash and the paddle and through trials of endurance."

"I can’t lose you, Mistress."

"Then you consent?"

He paused for only a millisecond "Yes."

I was not as sure as he sounded, but we would know soon enough. I took out some scissors and cut his clothes from him. In the meantime, I had lost track of the Commander.


I was delightfully surprised to see the beautiful Commander enter my realm. Kathryn had chosen well the object of her fantasies. It wasn’t just his looks or his powerful body. His eyes has such depth and emotion. Even I was tempted to fall into them. But only tempted.

"Hello, gorgeous," I said. "Is Kathryn alright?"

"She’s preoccupied, but fine," Chakotay replied.

"What brings you to my realm?"


"And concerns."

"Concerns as well," he admitted.

"She doesn’t know you’re here."

"No. She thinks we’re bound to fight," he replied.

"Are we?"

"I hope not. We both care for her," he said. "That’s a good beginning."

"That could set us at loggerheads," I replied.

"It could, but I’d like to think we could get along."

"What do you want to know, Commander?"

He sat down before me thinking for a moment. I could see him trying to form just the right words.

"How did this begin with her?" He said with impatience.

I made wine appear for us both. "Kathryn’s application came to us from one of my most respected contacts," I said. "She had been experimenting with Bondage & Dominance on her own and sought out a smaller club in San Francisco. I knew approximately when to start looking for her. I had the word out that when Kathryn Janeway came to any of my contacts, she was to be sent directly to me -- untouched."

"Why would they comply? I would think that a temptation too hard to resist," Chakotay said.

"I was worth more to them financially than a tempting bit of flesh," she replied. "They knew I would ruin them if I was crossed."

"I believe you."

"Good boy. I couldn’t bear for anyone to mold her. Not after I had waited for so long," I said. "When Kathryn was brought before me, I could barely find my voice. She was so young, so beautiful and more than ready."

"It seems your reaction to her was as strong as hers was to you," Chakotay said.

"You still wonder about that, don’t you?" I said. "We spent countless hours alone during her training. I built her trust in me enough to tear down her walls. I seduced her physically and emotionally."


"You are a kinky one, beautiful. I like that," I said. "I can’t tell you that. She is the only one who can give you those details. However, I can tell you a story that will give you an idea of what Kathryn was up against."

I stood before him. "This was what I was like when I trained her over two decades ago."

I transformed. Chakotay’s gaze was very appreciative.

"And this is how I was on the Enterprise," I said transforming once more. Chakotay shifted in his chair and gawked at me. "Your mouth is open," I said

"Forgive me for staring," he said.

"I enjoy all compliments."

"I’ve been curious about something. Why didn’t Kathryn know you were on the Enterprise when she went back?" Chakotay asked.

"That is part of my little tale," I said. "I was always vague about when I left the Enterprise, and I never told her why. She respected my privacy enough never to find out."

"Why didn’t you tell her?" The softness of his voice was maddening.

"I was afraid of doing anything that might alter the time paradox. I waited until I was absolutely certain she was mine before I gave her the choker. I needed to be sure it meant something to her," I said.

"Tell me then," Chakotay said. "It may give me some insight."

"That’s a new term for a hard on," I replied. He smirked at me. There was a wicked challenge in his eyes. Oh, he was delectable.

"Very well, sweetness," I said. "Get comfy."

"Stop stalling," he smiled.

"I’m setting the mood, darling. You are so impatient," I said.

The Enterprise was a potentially spectacular hunting ground for a young, hungry woman like me. Kathryn hadn’t seen even a fraction of what was available. So quite aside from working with the fabulous Captain Kirk, I was anticipating new heights of hedonism. That all evaporated when I met Leonard McCoy.

Kathryn was right about Leonard. He was very kind and extremely funny. We carried on a grand flirtation for quite some time before anything happened.

"Did he know about your... your... hobby?"

"I never told him. He sort of figured it out when I ripped the Don Juan android and the giant bunny to shreds with a bull whip," I replied.

"Giant bunny?"

"I was still a little upset after filleting Don Juan, and the Black Knight was already dead."

From the look on the Commander’s face, I could tell that he wasn’t up to speed on the minutia of Enterprise lore.

"We were on a whole planet that was like a holodeck. Except, we didn’t know that at first and they scared me." I explained. "When Leonard saw my handiwork he said:

"There’s only two kinds of folk who can swing a whip like that, and I didn’t notice Circus Trainer on your resume."

"This intrigued him; however, he didn’t want to be a slave," I said.

"A women has never had to twist my arm to have her way with me." Leonard said. "Certainly not a lady like you."

That honey and magnolia accent was compelling. But when he swept me into his arms I discovered this lanky southerner was extremely well hung -- something that always catches my attention. We didn’t stay on that planet with the others. I lured the Doctor back to my quarters.

Chakotay looked at me expectantly. He was a lascivious one when it came to erotic details. I smiled to myself. I decided to see how much he could stand.

We took a long time with each other. Mistress or not, I need to learn the person I’m enjoying. Leonard allowed me to undress him. I touched him as I exposed his skin. Texture is very important to me. I can identify any of my lovers in complete darkness with a palm’s width of skin. I ran my hands all over his naked body, the hair on his head, the contours of his face.

He was both relaxed and aroused when I stripped for him. When I was completely naked, I laid on top of him. We kissed -- long, open mouthed kisses while our hands explored one another.

Chakotay was fidgeting in his chair while trying mightily not to look like he was. This pleased me greatly. So, I continued.

Leonard enjoyed being thorough and methodical as much as I. That man worked over my nipples with his lips and his tongue and teeth until he found just he right combination to make me squirm off the sheets. It was Leonard’s philosophy that since a lady is more likely to let her date fondle her tits that it is important for a man to use that opportunity to make her want more. He reasoned that if he found just right the method, a lady will squirm out of her drawers on her own in search of satisfaction. His fingers weren’t even near my pussy and I was about to come. He stilled me with more kisses before going after my clit with that incredible mouth.

That man ate pussy like a woman. He enjoyed my taste, my scent, my feel. I could see it in the expression on his face and the enthusiasm in his technique. He rocked me with incredible waves of cuming. I’m not a screamer, but my sounds were louder than I’ve ever made before.

After a brief rest, we were busy again. I went after that big cock. The wily bastard made me really work to get him stiff. He enjoyed watching my mouth slide up and down his flesh. But I was patient. I watched his eyes and sucked that cock until it was rock hard. I rubbed my tits along it as I slithered up his body.

Leonard let me ride him for only a little while. Then I was moved onto my knees. He wanted to slam into me from behind.. That man filled every millimeter of me and just slammed away until I thought my arms and legs would buckle. When Leonard finally came, he shot it all over my ass.

"I’ve been wanting to do that since I first saw your cute little red panties while you were fetching something you dropped," he said. While drawing patterns in the cum on my butt.

"Why did you think I bent over, Doctor?" I asked. That’s how it began, and Leonard was enough to keep me and my box happy.

I waited while Chakotay fidgeted with an enormous, delightful erection. His eyes were riveted on mine. He was in deep trouble with most of his passable responses. But if he fled, the upper hand would be mine.

Chakotay cleared his throat. "It sounds like you were very... satisfied with your service on the Enterprise." He said. "Why did you leave?"

I admired his ability to focus so keenly. The round had to go to him.

"Let’s just say that there was a dark side to Captain James Kirk’s reputation with women," I replied. "What triggered those attentions was dear Kathryn."

It’s not that Captain Kirk hadn’t noticed me before, he always managed to get a good look at new talent. But by the time he got around to me, I was already in a heavy flirtation with McCoy. So he went to other pastures.

Then came the moment when Kathryn left. She was looking at me when she dematerialized. It was a look of amazing lust and longing that made me very wet. Kirk was apparently jolted as well. He began to seek me out shortly afterward. I think he wanted to find out why I was the object of her desire instead of him.

At first, I tried to avoid him. That was ludicrous to consider. A crewman can avoid another crewman indefinitely. She can’t avoid her Captain. When Kirk couldn’t ‘casually’ run into me at my usual off-duty haunts, he had my rotation changed to the Bridge.

"It’s hard to believe that someone with Kirk’s reputation could behave so badly," Chakotay said.

I shrugged. "No one can dispute history. Kirk was an amazing starship captain. However, he was a man with a man’s weakness’. His ego was bruised by Kathryn and he couldn’t let it go."

Finally, he cornered me in the Briefing Room after a staff meeting. I would have had to barrel through him to get out of the door.

"You’ve been avoiding me," he said softly.

"I have been taking the prudent course of action," I replied.

"Avoiding temptation?" He eyes were twinkling.

"Avoiding confusion. I’m preoccupied."

"But not engaged." he countered. "And not preoccupied for an occasional indulgence with a visitor."

I felt my fury rising, but the restrictions of a Yeoman left me little recourse but lowering my eyes. "You must be..."

"I’m not mistaken. No one could mistake that exchange," he replied.

"You don’t understand, sir. It was not that simple an encounter," I replied.

"I’d love to hear about it over drinks," Kirk said.

"Very well," I said. "My place. 2000 hours, sir."

Chakotay was intrigued. He was hanging on every word.

"What were you going to do?" He asked.

"I planned to show the dear man why Kathryn was so very attached to me," I replied with a grin.

I had my Outfit on underneath something soft and nearly see through. To be provocative, I wore my choker. My equipment was out of view but very handy. The plan was not to flay him alive. I had hoped to freeze him out with ambivalence. I was still debating how much I wanted to tell him about Kathryn when he arrived.

Kirk arrived with a bottle in hand and I graciously poured.

"You know, Captain, I am very flattered by your attention, but I don’t think this can work out," I said.

"If it’s McCoy..."

"That should be enough, but there is more," I replied. "I just don’t believe you will be able or should I say be willing to grant all that I require."

Kirk nearly choked on his drink. He was incredulous. "Now, you sound like that... that Kathryn."

I sipped my drink placidly. "I imagine that I would. She learned everything she knows from me."

Kirk gulped his drink. "You... she..."

I became more placid as the moments passed.

"Kathryn had not planned to see me. We met by chance in the corridor," I said. "She couldn’t resist speaking to me, but nothing we spoke about will change the future."

"How did she know you?" Kirk asked. "What do you mean... You taught her everything she knows."

I hesitated. Did I really want to share this with him. Again, my ire was raised because I felt I had no choice. The only thing I could do was enjoy it.

"Apparently, some time from now, Kathryn will become my sexual slave," I said placidly. "I am a Dominatrix, Captain. I will become her Mistress."

"You are... With the whips and everything?" Kirk sputtered.

"That’s correct."

"You whip McCoy?"

"Of course not. He’s an amazing lover," I replied.

"But both you and your slave wanted to whip me," Kirk said. "Why?"

"Permission to speak freely," I asked.

"By all means," Kirk replied. His voice was dripping with sarcasm.

"The Captain’s rampant self-assurance leads me to believe that he is likely more concerned with his own satisfaction and the only reason he enjoys the reputation he does is that many of the women were swept away by their own enthusiasm," I said.

Kirk sat there gaping at me over his drink. I reasoned that this should be enough for him to exit in a huff. However, Kirk didn’t move. I’ve seen this sort of thing before. The stubborn streak wouldn’t allow him to flee until I’d really pushed him to it.

"I like to think that I’m open minded," Kirk said. "And you certainly are an intriguing prize."

I poured him another cocktail and advised him to drink up.

He did then looked up at me. "What now?"

I looked him over provocatively. "Get naked."

Kirk gave me a smirk then stood before me. He stripped with an ease and confidence that was not undeserved. He had a beautiful physique and was nicely equipped. The man was quite a specimen. It would have been easy to forget about how he manipulated me to get where we were and enjoy all that body and his experience had to offer. But there was Leonard to consider. And when I looked into his eyes, I realized that, that was his intent.

"Raise your arms," I said levelly.

Kirk complied and was quickly shackled before me. When he was secured, I pulled off my covering and let him enjoy the sight of my body in the leather. He hardened appreciatively.

"Very nice," I murmured before pulling out my drawer of equipment. That got his attention.

"You know, Jim, I can call you Jim, right?" I said. "A little warming of the skin can really enhance an intimate encounter by making the body more sensitive to pleasure."

Without further preamble, I paddled him mightily. Kirk gasped as I rubbed his very red ass.

I walked around him. The challenge was still in his eyes, but he was as limp as a wet noodle.

"You aren’t hard," I said.

"Am I supposed to be?" he asked incredulously.

"Oh, I’ll fix that," I said. I took the bra off and fondled my nipples while he watched. I avoided his kiss to rub my tits across his chest. That brought him to attention. I rubbed them around to his back and his redden ass. He was warming up nicely.

"Now you’re getting into it, Jim," I said. "Let me really heighten your sensitivity."

I used the light riding crop across his broad back. That startled him, but he swallowed all the noises.

When I next appeared before him, I had removed my panties. He was riveted as I touched myself between my legs. I put the wet finger in his mouth and let him suck it.

"See, you’ve got me going, now," I said. I took out my strap on toys and began to lubricate them. "Are you ready to really play?"

"What are they for?"

"For you," I said. "How else do I get to fuck you?"

"Let me go," he whispered. "Now!"

"Yes, sir," I said, although I was confused, especially after all the rumors I’d heard.

I released the shackles then handed him his clothes one item at a time.

"Well, this was fascinating." He said. "But this is not for me. I like women who like to be women."

There was so much I wanted to say, but I just swallowed it. "Your probably right. We are an unusual breed."

"Probably don’t date much."

"No we don’t. That’s why we really cling to each other," I said. "Thank you for at least trying -- and not being offended?"

He finished dressing. "Not at all. Don’t mention it. Please."

"Of course not, sir," I replied.

I allowed him face and gratefully let him go. It was good riddance for me. But it didn’t end there. Kirk went to McCoy that same night. Despite my gracious behavior, he was intent on having verification that I was in some way deranged.

"What happened?"

"McCoy verified what I said then demanded to know why Kirk was trying to fuck his girlfriend," I replied. "Then they got in a fist fight. Spock had to pull them apart."

The tension between them was terrible. It affected everyone on the ship. It affected Leonard and me. We didn’t get together after that. I felt it best for everyone to transfer. My relationship and my hunting ground was gone in an instant.

"I’m sorry," Chakotay said. I felt his sincerity.

"Thank you, but it was for the best," I said. "I went back to Starfleet and began to establish myself in the Club community. Eventually, I bought my own."

"That must have been some exit interview," Chakotay said.

I smiled at him.

"You were waiting for Kathryn."

I nodded. "And I was more comfortable in control."

Chakotay sighed. "I’d better go."

"But we haven’t talked about you," I said.

"I came to learn -- not to teach," he said standing.

"But I want to learn some things about you, gorgeous," I replied.

"Some other time," he said "End Program."

I didn’t move. He looked very surprised. "Exit," he said.

Nothing changed .

"I’m no alien intruder, pet. I am, however, quite alive," I smiled. "Now, take a seat. We still have much to discuss.

Before I released Mr. Kim, I walked around him to examine his response and to remove his gag. I had paddled him to redness then whipped his broad beautiful back. I was not merciful. He struggled for breath. His eyes were teary. Yet he was also quite erect. I removed the gag then took him by the chin.

"I am going to put a ring on that lovely cock," I said. "You will be healed enough to prevent infection, but I want you to feel your lashes. I want you to concentrate on the discomfort and concentrate on that ejaculation you want so badly. You will do that and your job or service with me ends this day."

"Yes... yes, Mistress..." he said.

"If you can do this, an important lesson will be learned," I said. "One that males are a long time in learning. You can survive without getting off. You can control yourself."

I released the shackles. Kim dropped to the floor. His broken skin was healed.

"Get dressed," I said. "I’ll see you on the Bridge."

"Yes, Mistress," he said.

"And?" I demanded.

"Thank you, Mistress."

I was annoyed. He was feeling sorry for himself. He had lost his love, so now he must flagellate himself. He was the wounded, misunderstood young lover. I couldn’t have this. Kim could do what I bid of him, but he was being a martyr.

"Belay that last command," I said. "Get on that bed on your back."

Harry complied positioning himself for restraint.

"Oh, no. Mister," I whispered. I began to get undressed. "You met someone who captured your imagination. Made you feel completely alive. Seemed to be the only one who really knew you. Isn’t that right, Harry?"

He nodded.

"And you think no one else will ever make you feel the same way," I said. "No one will ever know you that way again."

Kim tried to close his eyes.

"Look at me." I said. "Let me tell you about you, Harry."

I talked to Harry in soft tones about all of his thoughts and dreams and longings. I told him everything about his favorite foods, books and music. I remembered everything about him from the moment he stepped onto Voyager. I told him why he was my First One. And when he was finally listening to me, I kissed him the way he most longed to be kissed: sweetly and romantically, and intensely. He was the only man I have kissed or wanted to kiss. I made him feel that.

"Hold me," I said between kisses. "Hold me."

Harry wrapped his arms around me tightly. His mouth continued to assault mine. He kissed my neck then sucked at my earlobe.

"I’m such an idiot, Mistress. How could I have forgotten," he whispered.

"Our sessions had become perfunctory, pet," I said. "But you should have know better."

"I’ve got to come," he said through his teeth.

"You won’t right now sweetness," I said. "Do as I have said. You know what the rewards will be."

He inhaled slowly. "Yes, Mistress."

"Get moving."

Chakotay tried his little communicator for the third time while trying the manual override. That made me shock him a little again.

"Gods but you are stubborn," I said. "I just want to talk."

"It’s never just a talk with you, Mistress," he replied. Lord, he was even more attractive angry. "You want to learn me to bring me to you."

"You’re a big boy. Why are you so worried about me learning about you," I said.

"Why do you want me?" Chakotay asked. "You can’t truly have me. What do you gain..."

He looked at me with a realization that worried me.

My unease began an hour into the bridge shift. It dawned on me that I hadn’t seen or heard from the Commander in hours.

"Computer. Locate Commander Chakotay."

"Commander Chakotay is in Holodeck One.’

I was annoyed. He was likely doing a post-mortem on all the trouble with our guest. But somehow I doubted that. I went to my Ready Room.

"Janeway to Chakotay," I said.

There was no reply. I felt uneasy.

"Janeway to Barrows.’

"Hello, Kathryn."

"Good evening, Mistress. Is Chakotay with you?"

"Yes, he is," she replied. "We’re having a lovely visit. No need to worry."

I signed off and gave Tuvok the Con.

"By making me a slave, you never lose her," he said. "You want to keep her as your slave."

"How simplistic of you, gorgeous," I replied. "And disappointing. My relationship with Kathryn is more complex than that. And why wouldn’t I just want to keep you because you are a beautiful, fiery thing like Kathryn. Who’s here."

I walked in and saw them. The young, incredible Barrows who brought me to my knees and Chakotay standing close to her. By his expression and hers, I knew that the encounter was an intense one.

"What’s going on?" I asked with as neutral a tone I could muster. "I tried to call you."

"I needed to talk to her..."

"I think he got a notion in his head about problematic holograms and was drawn to me."

Barrows said. "If either of you had bothered to visit me, I could have told you about dear, sweet, Marayna."

I was stunned. Chakotay wasn’t.

"Don’t tell me," I said.

"Who programmed her?" he asked with irritation.

"I did," Barrows said. "Who knew that the computer would be so obedient to my parameters. I need to control all aspects of my environment. So it gave control to me."

"Oh, dear," I said. Suddenly, I was exhausted.

"Have you whipped that sweet Mr. Kim into shape?" She asked. "I couldn’t see what he saw in that wisp of a thing besides her sarong. I’ve got a lovely copy of her essence hanging in my dungeon. I got it while she was in her most potent form. Want a whack at her?"

"You’re evading here, Mistress," I said as firmly as I could with her. "Are you fighting?"

"Not until he tried to leave," Barrows replied.

"What’s going on here," I asked Chakotay.

"I’m not sure," he replied. "But, I’m fine."

I went to Barrows and knelt at her feet. "Mistress, it is apparent that you are sentient. Are you going to challenge my command?"

"Never!" she replied. I think she was insulted. "I was in Starfleet, my dear. I have always known my boundaries. And always will."

I looked at her then Chakotay. I hoped so. How I hoped so.

"Excuse us then, Mistress. We must go back to work," I replied

The room became a blank holodeck with a nod of her head. Chakotay held his hand out to me and I got to my feet.

"Did you find your answers?" I asked.

"I found some. But I didn’t solve you, Kathryn," he said. "I’m glad to say that it will take a lifetime. But isn’t that what real relationships are, a lifetime of discovery?"

I agreed. Then I wondered what I would have to do -- what sensual act Chakotay would get from me to find out just what they were talking about all that time.

18: Privacy