Disclaimer: Characters not mine. They were returned happy but confused to their original owner. No money was made from these works. All mistakes mine.

Comments about this story can be sent to: Elizabethsparrowsong@yahoo.com

Journal Entry May 25
by
Elizabeth Sparrowsong

When I started writing in this damn thing I promised myself I would always tell the truth. No worries about how it makes me sound or anything like that, just the truth. So, here I am writing about me being a total shit. The whole purpose of this experiment was to try to figure out how I feel. I mean I know how I feel. Horny. I know I'm attracted to someone I love, but really shouldn't be horny. I mean, God. It's just too weird. But...I said I'd tell the truth.

I decided I wanted company for dinner, specific company, so I drove out to Venice Place. It was unusual but I had to park across the street from your building, otherwise I probably wouldn't have noticed the light in the window. More importantly I wouldn't have noticed what was going on in front of the window. People. Nude. Two nude people, beautiful, blonde, fair and nude. You were standing behind the smaller body, fair hair flowing over your shoulder and down your back perfectly mixing with yours. You sucked the soft skin below a delicately shaped ear. One hand pulled on a rose-tipped nipple, the other tangled in equally blonde pubic hair, pulling back as you rocked forward. Both mouths slightly open. I "felt" the shallow panting that distance kept me from hearing.

I was furious! Your hands, your mouth, your...you, touching someone I didn't know. Someone you probably didn't know well. Someone who wasn't me.

I wanted your body wrapped around me that way, pulling me back onto your hardness. You, rocking into me.

I knew I should leave. The longer I sat there, the angrier I became. Angry at myself for not having the guts to tell you that I wanted you. Angry with you from not "knowing", not seeing that I wanted you, that I loved you. I was furious. Hurt and furious and...hard. My God!

I should have gone, I know that, but I didn't. My dick was calling the shots now. I freed myself and began to stroke, cursing you as I watched and converted the view in my mind. I was in your arms, my dark, curly head rested on your shoulder. It was my body you pushed forward. The hips you grabbed were mine, the body you drove into was mine. I continued to thrust into my hand and as your head dropped back with your final thrust I came all over my hands and jeans.

I watched you turn your lover in your arms and into a gentle embrace. You never heard me as I pulled away from the curb, tires squealing and smoking, voicing my anger.

That was bad enough, it gets worse. I know a girl. A party girl who likes it hard and that's what I needed now, some kind of sexual revenge. I called and made some lame excuse. She didn't really need or want one. I headed over to her apartment after taking a minute to clean myself up a little; I didn't really care at this point.

Five minutes later I rang the bell. When she answered the door I caught my breath. She was tall, taller than me by a little. Short blonde hair, willowy thin. She was Hutch. Wearing some kinda see-through robe thing she walked toward me and took me into her arms. "Dave?"

I knew she smelled my ejaculate. Fuck, it was cum, all over my jeans and my hands. I pulled her into my arms and attacked her neck sucking and chewing, marking that alabaster skin, I don't recall speaking a word. She crooned some kind of soothing words, letting me pinch her nipples too hard through her gown, I know it hurt. She kissed anything she could reach, I wouldn't give her my mouth, I was saving that. I pushed her into the room, running into the back of the sofa. It would do for tonight. Before she could say a word I flipped her onto her stomach and grabbed the hem of her gown, ripping it up her back, I pulled at the bikini panties she wore and the flimsy fabric came apart in my hands. Shoving my hands between her legs I felt her wetness. Good, she was ready. I pushed her forward over the couch, freed my cock and dove into her wetness. She gave a little shriek, but immediately began bucking her hips as I fucked her. Her slim ass hardly curved at all and as I held onto her hip bones I could see the back of her blonde hair. It was then I lost it. "Huuuuutch!" I screamed as I pounded into her. She tightened her muscles and milked everything out of me until I collapsed against her back. "Did you come?"

"Yeah, Dave, it was great," she said looking at me oddly. "I need to tell you something though."

"Shit, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you, I..."

"You didn't hurt me, it was a great fuck, but I will not be a proxy for you. You know me Dave. You can come here anytime I'm home and I'm all yours. You can plan any game you want, and I'll be happy. I like to fuck Dave, but I want to be the one you're fucking."

"What the hell does that mean."

"If you want to fuck Hutch, don't come to me and call out his name instead of mine. That's what it means. My God Dave, it's all over you. You love him, so tell him."

"Yeah, that's just what he'll want to hear." I headed for the bathroom. "Look Hutch, I know we're best friends and all, but I love you and I want to fuck you. Sure, that'll work."

"He might not be as surprised as you think, Dave." Helen smiled sadly and went to fix us a drink. "You know, he comes here sometimes, too."

I stared the drink in my hand, speechless for once. I tipped the glass up and swallowed it all, burning my throat all the way down, I deserved that, I guess. I went and kissed Helen's hand and turned to walk out of her apartment. Forever.

He went there too.

End