DISCLAIMER: Star Wars and all publicly recognisable characters, names and references, etc are the sole property of George Lucas, Lucasfilm Ltd, Lucasarts Inc and 20th Century Fox. This fan fiction was created solely for entertainment and no money was made from it. Also, no copyright or trademark infringement was intended. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Any other characters, the storyline and the actual story are the property of the author.
"GOOD morning!" Sabe announced, throwing open the heavy drapes.
"Urhhn," Amidala replied, burrowing into her pillows.
Sabe leaned closer to the protesting queen. "M'lady, you really need to get up and get dressed."
"D'n' wanna," Amidala managed.
"Yes, you do! You have a very busy day ahead of you. I've already laid out your clothing for today." Then, she unceremoniously yanked the pillow out from under Amidala's head.
Grumpily, Amidala sat up in bed, and tried to smooth her tangled morning hair. "You are the meanest handmaiden ever."
Sabe blinked, face frozen for a second. Then she looked at her queen. "Isn't that why I'm the one who always impersonates you...m'lady?" Before Amidala could respond, Sabe gestured to a chair sitting next to the bed. "Your clothes are over there. You really need to get dressed-- you're late."
"Late for what?"
"You'll see."
Stumbling out of bed, Amidala picked up the surprisingly small bundle of clothing resting on the chair. It consisted of a light summer tunic and breeches-- the sort of clothing favored by the average Nubian townsperson. "What is this?"
Sabe was already making up the bed. "Do I have to dress you, m'lady?"
"No..." Amidala said, slipping the tunic over her head. She pulled on the breeches, and shoved her feet into the soft leather slippers sitting under the chair.
"Good," Sabe said, having finished with the bed. She began tackling Amidala's hair with a brush.
"Ow!" the Queen protested.
"It wouldn't hurt if you'd hold still," Sabe scolded. She deftly knotted Amidala's long curls into thick braid, which she twisted into a style popular among local village girls, tying it off with a blue ribbon.
"What's going on?" Amidala pressed again.
"You'll see," Sabe said in voice that was simultaneously peaceful and incredibly exasperating.
Suddenly, Eirtae poked her head in the room, Sache peering over her shoulder. "Isn't she ready, yet?"
"WHAT is going on?"
"Well, you're getting ready to go to town, aren't you?" Sache said. "Your escort's waiting patiently."
"Town? ESCORT? What are you talking about?!"
"There," Sabe said, tucking up the end of the braid. "All finished. Don't keep your date waiting."
"Date? Is this another scheme of Westerly's?"
"WESTERLY?" the handmaidens announced together in an obviously-rehearsed reaction. "Ew, no!"
In spite of herself, Amidala burst out laughing.
"Honestly, can't we ever come up with schemes of our own?" Eirtae scolded.
"Come on," Sabe said, pushing her out of the bedroom.
As Amidala walked into the outer part of her quarters, a slow smile spread onto her face. She would have almost laughed if he hadn't looked so completely embarrassed.
The last time he had been out of Jedi robes, Obi-Wan Kenobi had been less than a year old. The Nubian tunic and pants he wore felt oddly loose in some spots while restrictive in others. He could barely keep himself from squirming. Though Ric and the handmaidens had tried their damnedest to get him to leave it in his quarters, his lightsaber was tucked securely in his waistband, out of the way of prying eyes. His eyes met the queen's, and his face colored brilliant cherry red. "I... er..." he stuttered. "This wasn't my idea." He pulled out the bundle of flowers Eirtae had given him, and thrust them at Amidala. "Eirtae said I had to give these to you."
Amidala took them slowly, soft laughter finally escaping her lips. "What is this?"
"Obi-Wan's going to take you to town today for the festivities... Padme," Eirtae said warmly.
"But there's so much to be done-- what about Westerly?"
"You don't need to worry about the Queen's silly wedding," Sabe said matter-of-factly. "You've been working so hard, and she told us all to take the day off."
"But... Obi-Wan?"
"He's a handsome, young village lad who just wants to take you out somewhere," Sache pressed. "Honestly, Padme, I think you could look out for your own marriage prospects a little better."
"You three are insane!"
Obi-Wan scratched his head, and Sache nudged him not-so-subtly. "Gee, Padme, you sure are cute," he said monotonely.
"Make that you four!"
"You'd better get going," Sabe said softly, and relieving Amidala of her flowers. "You don't want Westerly finding out until after you're gone."
"Thank you," Amidala said softly, hugging each of her handmaidens. "You are the best friends a handmaiden could hope for." She turned to Obi-Wan. "Okay, handsome, young village lad. Ready to go?"
"Sure. Or would you rather ditch the festival and blast around the countryside at ludicrously unsafe speeds on my ridiculously souped-up T-7 Airskipper?"
"What?"
"The girls were telling me about their home villages earlier. I was trying to get into character."
"Your old character will do just fine, thank you. Come on, speed demon."
As the Queen-turned-handmaiden left her quarters on the arm of the Jedi-turned-village lout, the handmaidens glanced at each other in approval of their own handiwork.
"Do you really think we should have done this?" Sache said, not a bit of regret in her voice.
"He's just escorting her. It's the only way we could get Captain Panaka to agree to this," Eirtae returned logically.
"Wouldn't they have beautiful children?" Sabe mused, staring at the spot where the couple had stood. The other two just looked at her. "What?"
Amidala raised her face to the warm sunshine as they left the palace through one of the servants' exits. "Oh... it's such a beautiful day..."
"Mm-hmm," Obi-Wan replied, tugging at his tunic.
Amidala glanced at him thoughtfully. He looked so different out of the Jedi robes. He wore them so often that they seemed as much a part of him as the slate-blue eyes and gentle accent. Somehow, the Nubian garb made him seem more... human. He looked younger, and reminded Amidala of some of the village boys she'd known before she'd been elected Queen. "Where did you get that outfit anyway?"
"Huh? Oh, it's Ric's," Obi-Wan said off-handedly.
"Ric's? Really?"
Obi-Wan tugged at the tunic again. "Well, I suspect it's from when he was a few years younger. And about ten pounds lighter."
"Well, you look very handsome," Amidala said pleasantly, wresting his hand away from the hem of his tunic. "So stop tugging."
"Sorry," he replied sheepishly.
"Let's head into town," she said brightly, swinging her arm, and consequently his, as she still had a deathgrip on his hand. "I hope they have good food. I'm starving." A thought crossed her mind. "I hope I've got some money," she said, rummaging around in her pockets.
"Nope," Obi-Wan said. "You're my date, I pay."
"Obi-Wan! Don't be silly."
"I'm not being silly. I'm your guy for the day, so let me be macho. Besides, your handmaidens gave me a big wad of cash before we left."
"I see."
"But pretend I didn't tell you that."
"Tell me what?"
"You're very good at this."
"Naturally. I had you fooled on Tatooine, didn't I?"
"Me? Nah. You had Anakin stumped, though."
"Mm-hmm."
"So, Padme, what's it like being a handmaiden for the Queen?"
"Well, Amidala's absolutely the best Queen ever. She's so kind and loving, not to mention stunningly attractive. But she's got this wacky Jedi friend..."
"Jedi Knights are incredibly noble, self-sacrificing sorts. I've heard that many women find them..." he cocked one eyebrow. "Irresistably attractive?"
Amidala shook her head. "Not this one."
Obi-Wan frowned. "No? Not even a little?"
"Nope. Not at all. Well... "
"Yes?"
"You know when you see a poor little half-starved animal that's so pathetic it's kinda cute?"
"Uh... yeah?"
"Like that."
"Oh. Not... devastatingly handsome?"
"No. And furthermore, Rabe tells me he's a big pervert."
Obi-Wan scratched his head and studied the sky. "He sounds like it. Um, you know, I'm not a pervert. And I've been told I could be considered devastatingly handsome."
"Oh, yeah? By whom?"
"Rabe."
His only response was Amidala's completely uncontrolled, hysterical laughter.
"Did I mention that I totally rebuilt that T-7's engine myself, and added an extra fuel intake valve?"
The laughter just continued.
"Hey, look, food!" With still no response, Obi-Wan dragged her over to a stand where they were selling some sort of buns. Maybe if he shoved something in her mouth, she'd stop laughing at him.
Rabe tapped on Amidala's door hesitantly. "M'lady?" she asked, poking her head in.
"Amidala's busy right now, Rabe," Eirtae said, energetically dusting.
"Oh. What's she doing?"
Eirtae looked thoughtful for a moment. "I'm not sure. Perhaps she's spending time with Westerly."
"Really?" Rabe exclaimed, ecstatic.
"Mmm... no, probably not."
Rabe's face fell. "I suppose I'll just go... look for her, then."
"Good idea," Eirtae suggested. She waited until the door swished shut and she could hear Rabe's retreated footsteps. "Pbbt. Good luck."
Her Royal Highness, Queen Amidala, sat on a low wall in the marketplace of Theed, making a mess out of herself with a sugar bun.
"Are you sure these are breakfast foods?" Obi-Wan asked.
"Sure, I'm sure," she replied, licking sugar off her fingers. "Of course, how would you know, after eating gruel every morning for the last twenty-five years?"
"I have not had gruel every morning for the last twenty-five years!" he protested. "Only these past few months, and about three years when I was a teenager."
Amidala gave a most unlady-like snort.
"You know, I'm a perfectly capable cook. I don't know where you got the idea I can't prepare food properly."
"Did I say anything about your cooking skills?"
"No. But you have in the past."
"Where did I get the idea you can't cook... where did I get the idea you can't cook..." she said playfully. "Oh, yes, from your poor, malnourished Padawan."
"He's not malnourished!"
"He's always sending me these transmissions... Obi-Wan tried to cook keth patties again... The gruel was even worse than usual... I think he's trying to poison me..."
"He gripes, but he still eats it. It's like raising a bantha."
"Have you talked to Ani since you left him on Coruscant?"
"Coruscant? Er, no, not really."
"Mmm," she nodded thoughtfully. "You have sugar on your nose."
"Hnnh?" he mumbled around another mouthful of bun. "Oh!" He frantically rubbed at his nose.
"You missed it," she said, dusting it off gently with one finger.
"I'm sure Ani's doing just fine," he said, continuing to rub his nose, slightly embarrassed. "He's probably knocked the Council flat."
Anakin stared down at the unconscious girl. "Spath, she did it again."
"She's just a little spacesick. It's probably better to let her sleep."
"Okay, if you say so." He clambered back into the co-pilot's seat. Tare had been wavering in and out of consciousness the entire trip. The few times she was awake, her face looked kind of green, and she'd grip tightly onto armrests, seats, Anakin, whatever was available.
"Don't you remember your first space trip, kid?"
"Yeah. It was cold."
"But you didn't lose your lunch or anything?"
"Nope."
"I guess you just can't sympathize, then."
"Nope. Well... Obi-Wan turns green like that sometimes when I drive the 'speeder too fast. I guess some people are just better at speed than others. She's a handmaiden, too... I guess they really don't need to worry about drivin' around fast."
Spath glanced back at the blissfully unconscious handmaiden. "What do handmaidens do, anyway?"
Anakin shrugged. "Beats me."
"It should be chocolate!" Sache pressed. "The Queen LIKES chocolate."
"Whoever heard of a chocolate wedding cake?" the chef snorted.
"Well, I have," Sache replied. "You can still have white icing..."
"SACHE!"
Sache sighed. "What is it, Rabe?"
Rabe came barreling into the kitchen, where Sache was hacking out wedding menus with the poor, overworked chef.
"I can't find Amidala!"
"It's a big palace, Rabe. I'm sure she's around somewhere."
"She's not in the arboretum, she's not in the throne room, she's not in her chambers, she's not in our chambers, she's not with Prince Westerly-- GASP!"
"What?"
"Have you seen Jedi Knight Kenobi lately?"
Sache raised both eyebrows carefully. "Yes. I'm pretty sure I saw him this morning."
Rabe breathed out. "Thank goodness! But where's Amidala?"
"Oh... just keep looking. I'm sure she'll turn up eventually."