DISCLAIMER: Star Wars and all publicly recognisable characters, names and references, etc are the sole property of George Lucas, Lucasfilm Ltd, Lucasarts Inc and 20th Century Fox. The character of Ardeth Fey is from the movie "The Mummy" which belongs to Universal Pictures. This fan fiction was created solely for entertainment and no money was made from it. Also, no copyright or trademark infringement was intended. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Any other characters, the storyline and the actual story are the property of the author.
You glance at the guys and then study the room. It's cozy, decorated with holos of family and friends. A small curtained window looks out on to the desert. The bed, which seems to be little more than a feather filled mattress thrown over a wooden frame, rests against the wall.
Qui rambles impatiently through his bag.
"Now what?" You ask him. Blue eyes and a furled brow study the bag's contents. "What are you looking for?"
"Shhh!" Ardeth's directs with his ear against the door
You turn your attention to him and practically whisper, "What?"
"I think they are still at the door." His eyes dart to you.
Qui stands up stiffly and turns red. You've never seen them act this way before. Your finding their terror kind of cute. These men, these Jedi, who walk with heads of state, negotiate treaties and risk their lives on a daily basis-- are thwarted by a case of Performance Anxiety. Who knew?
Afterall, these are the same men who thought it would be fun to make love on base in the supply hut next to the bachelor's barracks where five hundred personnel reside on a regular basis! You're not into that kind of fun and politely declined.
"Is everything all right?" Devishah asks
Ardeth eyes narrow, "I told you." He whispers.
"Devi come to bed!" His father demands.
"Okay," her voice returns to the door, "if you need anything just ask."
"All right mother. Good night." Ardeth responds, his ear still pinned to the door.
A door slams shut.
"That sounded really close by." You curl up in a chair.
"That's because it is," Qui stretches on the bed, "their room is next door."
"I cannot perform under such pressures." Ardeth rubs his temples. "Why did you agree to this?" He shoots you a hostile glance.
"If you'd talked to your mother like I asked, she wouldn't have cornered me. Besides I didn't know this was for real! I'm not exactly ready to have a kid you know."
"I did not have time to speak with her. Besides that is woman's work."
"Not tonight."
"Blasted." Qui sighs exasperated.
"Ardeth that's bullshit," You challenge, "you know were too scared to talk to her. And that's why you pawned it off on me."
"What are we going to do? Are they actually going to remove the sheets from the bed?" Qui's hands fall on his face.
"I'm afraid so." Ardeth sits on the floor.
You all groan.
"This is impossible." Ardeth crosses his legs, "I'm suppose to get-it-on with my parents in the next room?"
You giggle and decide to kick them when they're down.
"Of course you can." You wiggle your body nearing Ardeth, "Come on sugar gimme a little something."
"Touch me woman and you'll be sleeping in the Sa'red tonight." he growls.
You turn to Qui, "Don't even think it." He hisses.
You collapse on the floor giggling.
"Laugh," Ardeth barks, "You are not under such pressure."
"What?" You shoot up, "Are you kidding? You guys can always lie and say you did something. But if I don't pop somebody out in nine months, everybody's gonna look at me like I'm crazy."
"Perhaps you can discover that you're infertile---" Qui suggests.
"Why do I have to be infertile? Why can't you two be sterile?"
"Little one this is no time for flights of fancy." The master warns.
You frown and shake your head. "Well it's a lousy idea anyways. His mom had the doc check me out. I'm as fertile as the forests on Naboo."
You rub your belly grinning.
"I'll keep that in mind." Ardeth cracks
"We can always try. You want to?"
Qui and Ardeth look at each other.
"I have a headache." The master bemoans changing into his sleep pants.
That killed that. With something as important as this you and Ardeth will not have sex without him. Not that Ardeth is interested, he sits on the floor deep in a calming meditation .
"Master I know why Ardeth is so nervous. Why are you?" You recline on the bed eyeing him as he undresses.
//No sleeping in the nude tonight.// You observe. The uniform of the night in your household is the birthday suit--usually. With all this pressure and talk of sex, not to mention the lack of privacy, the moment is definitely dead.
"Little one, I love you and Ardeth and have bonded my life with you two--."
You sigh pleasantly.
He frowns, "However, under no circumstance... Not for any reason will I ever have a desire to act as a stud for cultural dilettantes." His cool blue gaze ends the discussion.
You nervously work on a stitched rug with Ketura.
"Child pay attention." She scolds
"Oh sorry." Your gaze wanders back to the screen door where your in-laws are speaking with the village elder on the porch.
Just as you three thought, after getting up this morning, his parents along with the elders removed the sheets from the bed. You had no idea what they were checking for. Cause if they were looking for bloody sheets, they needed to talk to the cleaning droids on Coruscant.
"Chana." Devishah calls to you.
You excuse yourself.
"Yes?" You ask stepping onto the covered porch.
Devishah glances nervously at her husband. A warm breeze brushes a lock of hair in her face, "Uh, we'd like to speak with you."
She motions for you to sit. "This is the village elder, Chief Elkhana."
You nod your greeting. He's a thin man with a pleasant expression. His simple tunic and trousers give no hint of his elevated community status.
"Is everything all right? In the bonding?" Devishah asks
"Yes." You scan the desert terrain, "Where are--?"
"They will be back shortly," Devishah remarks, "We wanted to speak with you first. Men are often reluctant to speak of their difficulties."
"You're not experiencing any," She hesitates, "problems."
You flush three different shades of red. Qui and Ardeth have never had any problems actually they're the opposite.
"No." You answer weakly.
Bohdan nods to the elder as if his suspicion is confirmed.
"You understand, we are family. And we are there if you need us."
Right now you need a stiff drink.
"Last night. We heard much discussion. Pressuring almost." Bohdans says with the same stubborn look that Ardeth gets when he feels his honor being challenged, "Are you withholding?"
"NO! Honest No." You can't believe your having this conversation.
"You do understand the importance of this union." Elkhana the Village Elder explains. "Ardeth and Qui-Gon possess great gifts given to them by the Force. The Force which binds our community, our family and our homes. We must ensure that any children produced out of this union receives its full blessing. It is important to our community," He gestures to Ardeth's parents, "it is important to their family."
"Yes. I think I understand--."
"Then if you are not withholding perhaps your ways are not suitable for my son." Bohdan asserts nodding while pacing in front of you. "Yes. That must be it. You were in the Security Forces-- ."
"BOHDAN! Really!" Devishah scolds
"No. Think about it. Our boy was given to the Jedi to lead a simple and pure life serving others and she--" He practically spits.
You fold your arms protectively.
"--And she what?!" Devishah demands.
"She is not from the village."
"Oh come off it. She is good girl. We could not ask for a finer daughter. Perhaps you are overlooking the possibility that he and Qui-Gon may be unable to perform their duties."
"MY SON DOES NOT HAVE A PROBLEM!" Bohdan avows.
"Problem?" You repeat.
"What problem?" Qui asks approaching the porch with Ardeth. They hand a satchel of supplies to Devishah.
You shake your head thinking this could not get any worse.
"Son if you need to talk," Elkhana addresses Ardeth, "I am here."
Ardeth frowns, "What?"
//Uh oh, it just got worse.//
"It is quite common for young couples to experience difficulties--" Elkhana begins
"Difficulties?" Mahogany eyes peer at you, "Chana what have you been telling them?!"
Though he is a Jedi Knight, Ardeth still suffers from a wicked case of Testorone Poisoning.
"Nothing." You shrug feeling caught in the crossfire.
"What difficulties are you referring to?" His eyes search his parents.
"It is common for young men such as yourselves to be unable to couple with their spouse," Bohdan conceeds. "Son it is all right."
"NO! It is not all right." Ardeth barks in Titanese, "Get your things we are leaving now!"