Dedicated to: Well, first of all, a word of explanation. I got the idea for this story on a trip to America with Close-Up USA (for those of you who know it). On several days, including our one free day, it rained. It RAINED. My friend and I ended up splashing around miserably in the rain, and cutting down our shopping time significantly because of it. My idea came when my friend made the remark: "Rain is of the Dark Side." At that moment, dripping wet (I was the one with no 'rainshield') and cold, I promised myself that I would write this. It is mostly inspired from our own experience.
Many thanks to 'I am Sith' Rachel (the friend in question, who is also my beta reader), and to my friends Lisa and Nora (for insisting that I write at least one fanfic, and soon - and for enduring all my dirty Star Wars jokes). And, especially, to our Close-Up P.I.s - Little Ryan (that was Rob's idea!!), Padawan Ken, and Dr. Bean (Rob). This one is for you guys, who made sure we had such a great trip.
Okay, I'd better get on with it, before the notes end up longer than the story.
100% pure fanfic.
Contains no toxic substances, or substances harmful to the
environment.
For indoor use only.
Do not eat.
No Jedi (or Sith) were harmed in the production of this piece.
Enjoy!
DISCLAIMER: Star Wars and all publicly recognisable characters, names and references, etc are the sole property of George Lucas, Lucasfilm Ltd, Lucasarts Inc and 20th Century Fox. This fan fiction was created solely for entertainment purposes and no money was made from it. Also, no copyright or trademark infringement was intended. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Any other characters, the storyline and the actual story are the property of the author. Not to be archived without permission of the author(s).
"You don't take credits."
It was a statement rather than a question; Qui-Gon knew full well the answer would be no. He said the words quite calmly, but Obi-Wan could hear the growing annoyance and despair that his master was trying to hide.
They had arrived three Standard Hours ago in Nu'Yakk, the capital city of a small planet named Clo'Sup, which was just near enough to Coruscant to be in the Republic. Clo'Sup was a fairly well off planet, with one main treasure: the very old and very valuable crown jewels of a monarchy now gone, but still remembered and revered. It was these crown jewels that had been stolen, and that the Jedi had been asked to recover. Normally the mission would not have been assigned to Jedi Knights, but Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan were just returning from a mission on a nearby planet, and besides, the governor of Clo'Sup had begged so earnestly and at such length for help that the Council had given in. It had been mainly Mace Windu's decision; personally, Qui-Gon thought he had simply sought to get rid of the governor's annoying presence. But of course he did not voice this opinion.
Upon arriving, they had found no transport or escort waiting. Usually, Qui-Gon would have insisted on walking anyway, but he had wanted to solve the mystery as quickly as possible, and the governor's palace was almost 20 000 Standard Distance Measurements away - a long walk, even if they had known the way.
Which they didn't.
And now, Qui-Gon had just realised that, although small shops and street vendors accepted Republican credits, air taxis and firms renting transports apparently did not.
Qui-Gon sighed, and turned to Obi-Wan.
"Well, Padawan. I suppose our option is to walk. Come on."
Outside, Qui-Gon stopped suddenly, looking around with slightly narrowed eyes. He frowned, then shook his head and walked on.
"Well, THAT'S strange," he muttered to himself.
Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow worriedly. "What's wrong, Master? Do you sense a disturbance in the Force?"
Qui-Gon turned. "No, Padawan. That's what's so strange. I DON'T sense a disturbance in the Force."
Obi-Wan pursed his lips and started walking again. "I wish we didn't have to find the way by ourselves. After getting us over here, you would at least think the governor would have the courtesy to give us some kind of guide to get to the palace."
Qui-Gon shrugged. "We've walked before Obi-Wan. It won't kill us. Besides, see it this way: at least it won't get much worse."
As if on cue, there was a threatening rumble from the clouds above. Qui-Gon looked up - just in time to see the almost solid sheet of waterfall down to meet him.
Qui-Gon sighed wearily, and turned back to an already drenched Obi-Wan. "To err is human, Padawan..."
After half an hour of standing squashed in the entrance of a building, with far more beings than said entrance could comfortably hold,waiting for the rain to stop, Qui-Gon decided that it wasn't going to. He had asked one of his fellow waiters how long such a storm usually lasted, and had got the answer that it could last more or less any amount of time, long or short, there was no telling. The being (of indeterminate species) had kindly added the afterthought that it 'probably won't last more than two standard months. Not unless the rainy season's come early.' The two Jedi decided to go - there didn't seem to be much point in waiting any longer, and besides the air in the area they were waiting in was ripening rather rapidly.
Obi-Wan cautiously stepped out of the shelter, and opened the rainshield that he'd purchased from a vendor. The device, indigenous to Clo'Sup, consisted of a shield of air which hovered a short distance above the owner's head, controlled by a small control rod which the owner held a certain distance under the shield.
The people in the entrance quickly filled in the space the Jedi had left, and gave them both ugly looks when it looked like they were going to change their minds and stay. "You do know what Nu'Yakk means don't you Master? 'The city of brotherly love'..." Obi-Wan smirked. Qui-Gon gave a wry grin. Obi-Wan graciously moved aside so that Qui-Gon could fit under as well, and the pair started walking.
Qui-Gon, the taller of the two, had to walk bent over to get the rainshield to accommodate his size. Perhaps he should have held the shield-control, he thought. But then again, Obi-Wan HAD let him use the shield...
They walked on through the rain, which was still going strong, trying in vain to avoid the puddles which were rapidly growing in size and number, and which seemed to be in all the most crowded places. The people around them shuffled along with fatalistic resignation, leaving no doubt that rain in Nu'Yakk was not an uncommon occurrence.
"Nu'Yakk, Nu'Yakk" Obi-Wan began to sing, and Qui-Gon joined him equally tunelessly in the well-known song which sang the praises of the city.
"Nu'Yakk, Nu'Yakk.... SUCKS!!!"
"PADAWAN!!!" Qui-Gon glared at Obi-Wan, who was promptly quiet, shooting him a sheepish look which nevertheless said, "well, it does." Qui-Gon sighed; no matter how they felt about the situation, they had, as Jedi, to remain focused and calm, not giving in to their frustration; certainly singing a loud song trashing the city while in the midst of its citizens was not the wisest thing to do. Besides, Nu'Yakk was a nice city. It wasn't anybody's fault that it had such disgusting weather.
Qui-Gon's thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a creeping cold feeling in the small of his back. He tried to ignore it at first, but the feeling was spreading rapidly. Turning around, Qui-Gon saw what was happening: by bending over, he was getting nearly all of his body from the shoulders downward out of the shelter of the rainshield, and exposing it to the rain. The fabric of his outer cloak was already sodden. He pushed over slightly, trying to fit himself completely under the shield.
Obi-Wan moved over to give his master some space, until he realised that this meant that his whole body save his neck and head were exposed to the rain. By that time, of course, Qui-Gon had already firmly established his space under the shield. "Ah...Master?"
Qui-Gon turned, to see his apprentice just barely under the shield. "Sorry Padawan. Perhaps I'd better hold the control."
That arrangement didn't seem to work too well either. After several shifts in position, changes in the shield-control-holder, and mutual accusations of shield hogging, it became painfully obvious that the shield was barely large enough to accommodate one person, let alone two, and that the most they could both hope to keep dry with this arrangement were their forearms, heads, necks and shoulders, even huddled together.
Qui-Gon shrugged fatalistically. "Never mind Obi-Wan. You have the shield."
"But Master..."
"Keep it. I can always use my hood."
With the rain coming down even harder than before, it seemed to Obi-Wan to be an extremely optimistic statement. But he said nothing.
They had walked for some time when they finally found a communal transport service which would, albeit reluctantly, and only because of the rain, accept credits to take them part of the way to the palace. There was a library there, they were told, where they could take shelter if they wanted to before walking the rest of the way. Only too soon, the journey ended and they were let out into the rain-drenched streets. It hadn't been a very comfortable one either; people had huddled together as far as they could from a now soaked Qui-Gon, who had spent the journey standing in a corner, dripping onto the floor.
Obi-Wan started down the street in search of the library. Qui-Gon had already noticed the large and very visible building on their right. Obi-Wan had rushed off so fast that he was now out of hearing range, and he didn't seem to hear Qui-Gon through their bond. So Qui-Gon simply decided to wait.
About a quarter of an hour later, Obi-Wan returned, very much out of breath, to find Qui-Gon sitting on the steps, rain dripping rhythmically from the tip of his nose onto his knee.
"Oh, so THAT'S the library!" Obi-Wan said, in an attempt to cover his embarrassment.
"Yes. That building which has 'LIBRARY' on the front of it.
"Oh." Obi-Wan walked up the steps.
"Don't bother. It's closed."
Obi-Wan stopped abruptly and came back down.
"But it does open soon. I suggest we wait and go in. We can dry off inside before going on."
True enough, it wasn't long before they were let in.
"My trouser legs are SOAKED," Obi-Wan muttered.
"Hah! So are mine. And my tunic. And my boots. And..."
"I did offer you the umbrella..."
"We'd both have got even wetter." Qui-Gon plonked himself down in a chair with a book. "My point is, complaining doesn't make a situation any better. Not to mention that it's of the Dark Side..." Not that I really care, he thought. But I might as well say it anyway...
One and a half hours later, they were feeling much better. Still damp, but no longer really wet. Obi-Wan cautiously stuck his nose outside.
"Well?"
"It's much better now, Master. Not nearly as heavy."
"Well, let's go then."
They walked out onto the street, and the rain once more began to assault them, but not as heavily.
"Shields! Rainshields for two da'lars, five Republican dactaries! Two da'lars, five dactaries!"
Obi-Wan turned to Qui-Gon. "Master, hadn't you better get one? It's still quite a walk to the palace, and, well, it's raining womprats and tauntauns."
Qui-Gon shook his head. "Don't worry, Padawan. I'll manage. It's not raining too badly anymore."
They started to walk on; one pace, two paces. Then there was an almighty rumble from the clouds, and the rain started to fall with new ferocity.
Qui-Gon turned around and started walking back toward the vendor in one fluid movement. "Five credits, you say?" The vendor merely grinned.
At last, the governor's palace loomed in front of them. By that time, both Jedi were too wet, cold and generally miserable to feel more than a slight stirring of relief, despite the rainshields. Especially as they would now have to begin their tedious, if short, assignment, instead of being back at the Jedi Temple. Or at least on a useful mission, Qui-Gon thought. There were hundreds, if not thousands, of places which needed the Jedi's help far more than Nu'Yakk. And which had better climates.
Obi-Wan climbed the stairs leading to the entrance as quickly as possible, and tried the door. "Ah, Master? It's locked."
Qui-Gon sighed. "Well, let's try the other entrance then."
They both remembered together: "It's closed for renovations."
Qui-Gon shut his eyes and counted to twenty.
Then to fifty, in Noraaic.
Finally, he searched his memory for any language that he could speak, and that, to his knowledge, Obi-Wan hadn't learned. Noraaic, Ch'istofferic, R'rob, Ry-Yan.
Li'izaa. Of course.
Qui-Gon opened his eyes and let out a stream of extremely colourful, and rather creative Li'izaa.
Obi-Wan's eyes widened a fraction, before a grin appeared on his face.
"Master, I entirely agree."
Qui-Gon shut his eyes again. Of course, Obi-Wan would understand him. He was a born linguist; even if neither Qui-Gon nor his tutors taught him a language, he would go and learn it all by himself. And speak it fluently within two weeks - a very useful ability, but which was, at this moment, rather embarrassing.
It was going to be a long wait.
The palace guard who came out for a breath of fresh air an hour later was treated to the rather unusual sight of two Jedi huddled under the tiny awning by the door. He began by asking them their business, then by telling them that the governor was busy; he was quickly silenced by two evil glares in his direction. And anyway, one of the two had told him, gesturing casually to the door, that they needed to get in.
Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan strode through the hallway of the palace. Both wore matching glares; the rain had washed away even Qui-Gon's legendary calm. Finally, they were shown into a small chamber, and a small man, with a hooked nose and bushy brown hair, dressed in the governor's robes, entered.
"Well? I was told that you wanted to see me. Please be brief, I have a very important meeting with Counsellor K'kenn. I have already allowed you this meeting; don't waste my time."
Qui-Gon gave his standard introduction. The governor stared.
"Jedi? Whose presence I requested? I did no such thing."
Qui-Gon narrowed his eyes. "Yes you did. About the missing crown jewels."
"Oh. That. Yes, I remember. They were found yesterday morning; it seems that I had ordered their removal to another room for safekeeping. I did not have time to notify the Jedi. I have been very busy lately."
"You could always have let us know at the landing station," Qui-Gon said mildly.
"Of course, of course. But with everything that goes on here, I completely forgot that you were coming."
Obi-Wan could feel the anger rising in him. They had come over here at the governor's specific request; had walked over in this filthy - oh, filthy wasn't even the right word, what was it you said in Huttese? - k'napk weather, had waited outside the palace for admittance in said weather, all for nothing it would seem, and now the governor couldn't even apologise?!? He could feel suppressed fury from Qui-Gon. He glanced over, and Qui-Gon gave him an imperceptible nod.
They moved forward together. Qui-Gon towered over the man threateningly. For a moment, it seemed as if he was going to explode. Then, suddenly, his shoulders relaxed, and an almost-smile appeared on his face. Obi-Wan frowned. Surely he wasn't going to let the governor get away with this?
Qui-Gon leaned in. "Governor Bullock." He remembered all the time they had spent getting drenched on this planet since they had arrived, and casually waved his hand. The man's eyes acquired a slightly vacant look. "Why don't you."
Qui-Gon tried to find the worst thing he could possibly think of. And then, suddenly, inspiration struck.
"Why don't you.GO AND STAND OUT IN THE RAIN? Just for a few hours or so."
One standard week later, the Jedi Council was holding a solemn meeting.
After a few minutes of uneasy silence, Mace Windu cleared his throat. "We have news of Master Qui-Gon and Padawan Kenobi."
There was a general air of worried expectancy. The news could not be good.
Mace Windu paused, then continued. "The news is not good. It would seem that they have definitively left the Order."
Yoda took up the story in his high-pitched voice. "Perhaps not such a bad thing this is. It seems that gave in to the Dark Side, they did. Of their own free will."
"They turned?" one of the other council members interrupted.
Yoda's ears went back slightly. "Not quite. Used the Dark Side they did - abusing mind control. But become Dark Jedi they did not."
"But what about Qui-Gon? Surely he would not have --"
"Oh, from what I heard, Qui-Gon took the initiative." Mace answered dryly.
Yoda's ears twitched. "At least, an answer this gives us."
There was a fluttering of inquiry from the minds of the council.
"The Clo'Sup test, used it was many, many years ago, to test a Jedi's power to resist the Dark Side. Send them to Clo'Sup we would, on missions which would normally not require the Order's help. Used the Clo'Sup test, we had not in a long time. Failed it, too many Jedi did. Turned to the Dark Side, they did. At least, now know, we do, that the test still as hard to pass, is, and no longer use it to test the Jedi, we should."
Most of the council members were still frowning hard, in an effort to understand Yoda's words despite his somewhat unusual syntax. Adi Gallia, who managed to make sense of them first, replied.
"I agree. Although I'm sure that that will be a lot easier to do when Governor Bullock is voted out of office. At least there won't be any more calls for the Jedi's help without good reason."
There was general agreement.
Yoda cleared his throat. "One more thing, there is."
The council was silent, listening.
"Senator Palpatine and a companion from Iridonia, found on Clo'Sup they were. Gone mad, they seem to have. Ranting, they were, about the rain being more of the Dark Side than they."
There was a stir at the words 'Dark Side'.
"However," Mace added, "there doesn't seem much cause for concern. There will probably be an inquiry into the matter, to find out what happened, and indeed what Palpatine was doing there in the first place. It is a shame about Senator Palpatine, but I am sure that the government of Naboo will see to it that he is swiftly replaced by someone equally competent."
Most council members nodded wisely.
"And where are Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan now?" asked Depa Bilba.
"It would seem that they have.retired. To the planet Chel-Ra."
"Chel-Ra? Why?"
Mace pursed his lips. "They did not give a reason. But Chel-Ra does have one peculiarity. Although there is water on the planet, it never rains."