The Place of Our Legacy: Mother and Child

DISCLAIMER: Star Wars and all publicly recognisable characters, names and references, etc are the sole property of George Lucas, Lucasfilm Ltd, Lucasarts Inc and 20th Century Fox. This fan fiction was created solely for entertainment and no money was made from it. Also, no copyright or trademark infringement was intended. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Any other characters, the storyline and the actual story are the property of the author.

Therian sat at her window, her gray eyes roving over the hills and fields of Danuma. A faint smile touched her full lips as a huge freighter zoomed over the hut, engines roaring in the atmosphere.

One hand went down to her swollen belly. Her long fingers traced over her unborn child, as she whispered, “We’re going to see your daddy now...”

She awkwardly got off the chair and into the bathroom. She stared anxiously at her oval face, framed with long dark hair tied back in a braid. She smoothed her dress over her stomach, then quickly ran out the door.

Therian sat at the waiting station, eyes gleaming in excitement as dozens of passengers lined off the transports. She would start to her feet whenever she saw a brown-haired, tall man, then sink back as she saw it wasn’t him.

Her heart leaped as she heard her husband’s voice. Therian stumbled up, turning with a wide smile. “Qui-Gon!”

He was holding her before she had time to say another word. She stood on her toes and laced her fingers through his long brown hair, twining it through her hands. Blue eyes locked with gray, as she kissed him gently.

A wince escaped her, and Qui-Gon’s eyes went wide. “What’s wrong?” he asked, fingers brushing her cheek. “The baby?”

Therian laughed dismissively. “He kicks when you are near. Perhaps he’s...”

“Force-sensitive,” Qui-Gon replied, hugging Therian to his chest, running his fingers over her pregnant belly. He frowned slightly. “We’ll be taking him to Coruscant before you know it. We’ll find out there.”

Qui-Gon felt a pang of worry go through him. His wife looked even paler and thinner than the last time he had seen her, even more delicate. Therian’s health had never been good, and it seemed to have gotten worse since her pregnancy had hit the eighth month. Next to her burly husband, Therian looked like a porcelain doll. He wasn’t certain if she would be able to make it to Coruscant.

I’ll charter the best I can for her, Qui-Gon swore, hugging her and their child close.

“We need a name,” Therian announced, as they sat down to dinner. “We have decided on a boy’s name, but not a girl’s. Do you have ideas?”

Qui-Gon smiled warmly, toying with his spoon. The name had been so obvious, he was surprised he hadn’t thought of it before. “How about Eliana?”

Therian’s slanted brows rose a little. “It’s beautiful,” she said quietly. “Does it have any meaning?”

Qui-Gon smiled a little, sadly. “It was my mother’s name. I decided that if I ever had a daughter, I would name her Eliana, just as the boy’s name is my father’s.”

Therian smiled and began to reply, but a faint spasm touched her face. She dropped back in her chair with a dazed expression, pressing one hand to her belly. “Oh...”

Therian’s face took on a look of panic. “He’s not due for another month...”

Qui-Gon reached out with the Force, dulling the pains. It was the least he could do for Therian, he thought as he helped her out of her chair. “Everything will be fine,” he whispered as he whisked her out the door. “Just fine...”

Two days later, Qui-Gon stood amid the vegetables in Therian’s garden and wiped the sweat from his forehead, feeling his shirt stick to his back. She had always had a green thumb, he thought with a smile, as he surveyed the weeded, neat rows of plants in the small patch. They flourished better than any her neighbors could grow, but she had been unable to do some of the work because of her pregnancy.

Not a sound had come from old Alelia’s home, but Qui-Gon knew that Therian was taking far too long to have her baby. So he clouded his mind with work, until he had exhausted himself. It was Danuman tradition that men never be present during a birth, otherwise he would have been with her the whole time.

Visions of Therian danced before him like ghosts of the past. A faint smile came to Qui-Gon’s lips as he remembered the first time he had seen Therian, sitting by the riverside, a song on her lips and flowers braided in her hair.

Qui-Gon dropped his trowel at Alelia’s voice, and turned to find the bright-eyed little old woman standing behind him. He needed no second bidding, but simply ran into her house.

Therian was lying in a bed, her lovely face paler but radiant with joy. And nestled asleep beside her was a baby, wrapped in a blanket. Qui-Gon stared at her, then dropped to her bedside and hurriedly kissed her. “Elaine,” she whispered.

Qui-Gon’s eyes opened wide in surprise. “Elaine... I thought the scans showed the baby to be a boy,” he said, confused momentarily.

A look of dismay crossed Therian’s face, and she stroked the sleeping baby’s head and tiny outstretched arm with one long hand. “The scans are not always accurate... you aren’t... disappointed?”

Their eyes met, hers full of worry. Qui-Gon quickly banished the surprise from his face and looked down at his daughter lovingly. “Of course I’m not! I’m just glad you both are all right. I was getting worried.”

Therian grinned and playfully tweaked the end of his nose. “Silly, we’re both fine. It just took a little longer, that’s all.”

Qui-Gon reached out with one broad hand and slowly traced the child’s round face. One small fist slackened and flexed for a moment, then curled back up. “She’s so small,” he said quietly.

“She was a little premature,” Therian said, slightly worried. Then she brightened and squeezed his hand. “But I’m sure Elaine will be perfectly all right.”

Qui-Gon smiled, but was unable to tear his eyes from his daughter. “Elaine,” he said softly, as if trying it out. “Elaine...”

“I looked it up. The name means ‘light,’” Therian said, smiling, as pleased as a child. “It’s a good name for her, isn’t it?”

Qui-Gon felt an almost giddy smile cross his face, tempered with love for his family. “Yes,” he said quietly. “It’s a good name for her.”

Alelia had left only minutes before, and Therian was drifting around the house, feeling a warm glow wherever she went. He had been busy while she was away, she thought as she viewed the garden and the neat kitchen.

Now he was gone, back to Coruscant to arrange an apartment near the Jedi Temple for her and little Elaine, until the baby was old enough to be taken to the Temple. Qui-Gon was certain that she was strong in the Force, strong enough to be trained as a Jedi. Therian felt no sorrow at the idea, only pride.

Qui-Gon had told her, about a year before, that Jedi rarely married, rarely had romantic relationships. Therian had been shocked, considered it cruel until he had reassured her that they were not forbidden. Then he had asked her to marry him.

Therian put a hand to her head, feeling a sharp pain in her temples. A faint cry from upstairs could be heard, and she hurriedly ran up the narrow staircase, ignoring the fact that they seemed to be rocking.

She pushed open the bedroom door and walked over to the bed, in the middle of which Elaine was sleeping. The tiny baby ceased crying and looked up at her mother fearfully.

“How now,” Therian laughed, lying down beside Elaine and smiling at her child. One tiny fist flailed, and was caught in mid-air. “Do you miss your daddy now that you’ve met him? Do you?”

A tiny twitch in the corner of the baby’s mouth was all the reply she needed. Therian rolled onto her back and closed her eyes, curling one around around Elaine. Perhaps she was just tired, just needing rest...

Therian Jinn’s stormy gray eyes slowly drifted shut, twitching a little as she dreamed...

Alelia walked into the house, hearing hysterical screaming from the upstairs. Little Elaine, she thought as she sprinted up the stairs as fast as her old bones would allow. The child was crying in the desperate way that babies did when they had cried for a long time and were frightened out of their wits.

As Alelia pushed open the bedroom door, the first thing she saw was Therian, curled up beside her crying baby, gulping between sobs and staring around with tear-swollen eyes. Alelia’s heart jumped as she picked up Elaine, bouncing the baby against her shoulder.

She glanced at Therian’s face, nestled in her pillow. Dead-white. Then she touched Therian’s outstretched hand. Cold as ice.

Alelia sank down at the bedside, holding the sobbing, motherless child against her shoulder. “Hush, child,” she said through the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes. “Your father will come soon enough...”

“It’s with his mother he’s got to be I’ve come to set his spirit free...”

The door swung open, and Qui-Gon strode in, a delighted smile on his rough features. “Therian!” he called out through the small house. “Therian, it’s all settled.”

No reply. Qui-Gon’s smile vanished, and his forehead creased a little with worry. “Therian?” he called, sticking his head into the small kitchen. Everything was in perfect order, but there was no one there. He quickly hurried onto the side porch. No one there, the porch swing gently swaying in the breeze. “Therian?”

He quickly turned and ran up the stairs, the narrow passageway filled with his huge frame. “Therian?” he called, shoving the bedroom door open. The bed was made, the window open.

For a moment, Qui-Gon simply stared around the room, then touched into every corner of the house with the Force, searching for any trace of Therian or Elaine. Aside from himself, he realized with rising fear, there was nothing there. Quickly, he ran to the window and brushed the wispy curtains aside.... Perhaps she was out gardening...

His heart froze at the sight of a Danuman burial marker, a stone spire in the middle of Therian’s flower beds.

Qui-Gon’s legs were weak as a baby’s as he approached the marker, not certain whose remains it signalled. His wife’s? His child’s? Could it be both?

He reached out with one broad hand, touching the lettering. “Therian Jinn--Beloved Wife And Mother.”

His head spun as he knelt down, pressing his forehead against the cool stone. His shoulders shook slightly as he tried to restrain the tears that threatened to spill from his tightly-shut eyes.

He had known, ever since he had met her almost a year before, that she was frail. But he had also remembered the strength and childlike faith that she had exuded, especially her passionate statement that a pregnancy would not be too much for her. He remembered her pleading gray eyes as she had begged him, saying that she had always wanted a baby.

He also remembered the brief flashes of pain that had seeped into his dreams and waking moments alike, even when he wasn’t on Danuma. Her shivering when she hadn’t seen him watching.

But, a few days after Elaine’s birth, Therian had seemed to regain some of her strength. He had seen her, the night before he left, dancing in the light of Danuma’s twin moons. He had thought warmly that she would be well after that.

Alelia’s voice. Qui-Gon shook his head, shaking even more. Hot tears seemed to burn through his eyelids like hot lava.

A small, wrinkled hand on his shoulder. Qui-Gon shoved it away, pressing his bearded cheek to the gray marble. “How?” he rasped, trying to keep his voice from cracking.

“She fell asleep with little Elaine... I’m sorry. I know how much you loved each other.”

Why hadn’t he seen it coming? Qui-Gon’s mind began to scream with self-recrimination, with all the pain and grief his spirit could muster. Had he missed some vital detail, some hint of fatal illness that could have hinted to him? Could he have saved Therian? Did he not see it coming because he hadn’t wanted to, had been too terrified to see what was coming?

Qui-Gon pushed himself away from the grave marker and sat back, then glanced up at the old woman. Alelia’s eyes were swimming in tears as she looked at the young man sympathetically. “Elaine?” he whispered.

Alelia pointed over her shoulder. “In my house. I’ll get her things together.”

Qui-Gon nodded numbly, not able to tear his fingertips from the grave marker. As Alelia began to walk back to her hut, Qui-Gon said, his voice cracking and shaking with grief, “Therian... oh, Therian...”

Gray rain fell as the hooded Jedi Knight made his way back to the huge passenger transport, a small bundle under his brown robe. Passing Danumans stared as the bundle whimpered, and a faint, “Shh... shh...” was heard.

As Qui-Gon went up the ramp, he threw back his hood and pulled back the front of the robe. Elaine, her small head enveloped in a leather pilot’s cap, stared up at her father with eyes eerily blue. He smiled in what he hoped was a reassuring manner and quickly ran through the halls to his cabin.

He locked the door and crossed the tiny room to the bunk, where he carefully lay her down. She was still too young to move voluntarily, but her tiny arms flailed as her small legs kicked in the baglike garment. He smiled and caught her fist as it almost clipped him in the jaw. She continued staring at him, but the edges of her lips began to twitch.

“In a better mood now, hmm?” he said quietly. “Don’t worry. We’ll be in Coruscant before long, and then... then we’ll have you tested. I don’t have any doubts about whether you’re a Jedi or not.”

Elaine gurgled, kicking his knee a little. Qui-Gon smiled again and curled up against the wall, giving his baby daughter a quick kiss on the forehead. He was tired... so tired...

Qui-Gon jerked awake, gasping and shivering, curled up against the wall. Elaine was looking up at him with bright blue eyes, staring at him. He scooped her up and held her to his chest, cradling her close.

Then he pulled her back and looked into her eyes. She smiled, her small hands gripping his fingertips and bending them forward and back. “You look so much like your mother,” he said softly.

He remembered the last few days he and Therian had had together. Laughing, talking, planning their future, and marveling over their baby daughter. Therian’s eyes had shone with delight as she had spoken of being able to be near him without trouble or inconvenience, of living near enough to the Jedi Temple that he might be able to live with her and Elaine permanently.

He gently hugged her again, tickling her under the chin. He felt the transport lurch out of hyperspace, and saw the gray, star-speckled surface of Coruscant below the window.

Yoda watched as Qui-Gon left the airbus, cradling a tiny baby in his arms. Mace Windu’s brows knitted in confusion as he watched his friend, looking down at the little girl’s face. “Where’s Therian?” he asked softly.

Qui-Gon looked up, his face wracked by a thousand emotions. For a moment, Yoda thought that he was going to cry.

“Oh,” Windu said softly, stepping closer and pulling a corner of the blanket away from the child’s face. “Elaine?”

Qui-Gon nodded numbly, as the baby’s blue eyes glanced over at Yoda. The tiny Jedi Master sighed. He had not approved of Qui-Gon’s marriage to Therian, but it had been over and done with by the time he had heard of it. Jedi were taught that marriage was an alternate way of life, but Qui-Gon had clearly decided to try both.

And he had no doubt that Elaine had the potential to be a Jedi. She was unusually alert for a newborn, one tiny hand flailing on her father’s large one. The Force seemed gathered around her like a cloud

Qui-Gon knelt, turning Elaine towards Yoda. The baby’s eyes widened a little at the sight of Yoda’s round, greenish face, but she simply stared. Nothing more. Yoda smiled at her, as a tiny smile crept across her lips. “Trained she will be,” he said softly, turning around and walking back to the Temple. “Find a Jedi healer to care for her, we will.”

“Master,” Qui-Gon interjected, standing. “I’d... like to care for her myself.”

Yoda froze, then slowly turned to face his ex-apprentice. “If think you can-”

“I can,” Qui-Gon stated firmly. Inside, a tiny nagging voice asked, “Can you? Be a Jedi AND a father?”

There was a brief pause, then Yoda made a strange noise of assent and hobbled along the path to the Temple. Mace Windu glanced at Qui-Gon, then followed him.

Gentle hands, gripping his shoulder and shaking him. Qui-Gon groaned and pressed his face against the pillow and blankets. A fist whacked him in the back, gently but more firmly. “Master Qui-Gon!”

“I’m awake!” Qui-Gon mumbled, rolling over and blinking into the face of a young Calamarain girl, Sabyar. Her large fishy eyes blinked at him as she rasped, “Your child... in the nursery...”

Qui-Gon sat up quickly, gripping the bedframe for support. “Elaine? What about her?”

The healers were all gathered around the tiny crib, from which a soft crying could be heard. Qui-Gon dashed in, almost tripping over Obi-Wan, one of the toddlers. He made sure that the boy was all right, then went to the crib and shoved one of the healers aside.

Elaine was stripped to nothing but her diaper, her tiny body flushed with fever, wriggling in her misery. A tiny biomonitor was strapped to her forearm, which she flailed in an effort to toss it off.

Qui-Gon ignored the tugging on his sleeve as he looked down at his crying daughter. “What’s wrong with her?” he asked urgently, shoving one hand down towards Elaine. Her blue eyes opened wide and her fist locked around his forefinger. Don’t worry, Qui-Gon whispered soothingly into her tormented mind. Everything is going to be fine. I’m here... I’m here for you.

“What’s wrong with her?” he repeated, looking at the healer beside him. The man bit his lip, concentrating as he injected Elaine with something. She ignored him, still looking pleadingly at her father.

“She has a fever,” a small, soft-spoken woman behind Qui-Gon announced. He turned to face her, not letting go of Elaine’s tiny hand, still locked around his finger. “We can’t find any sign of infection, or any kind of disease at work here.”

“Find out why!” Qui-Gon ordered, looking away and back at Elaine. He bent down over the crib and slowly stroked the side of her flushed face. For a moment, a faint flicker of a smile touched her face. “It’s okay,” he soothed. “You’re going to be fine. Everything is fine...”

A tall figure was seen gliding through the nursery, the tension emanating from him clear. His arms were curled in front of him, head bowed as he cooed at the now-quiet baby in his arms.

The child was sinking fast, from an ailment unknown to anyone there. However, Qui-Gon had refused to speak on it, or leave Elaine’s side for the past two days. He was not eating, sleeping, or leaving the nursery.

Qui-Gon gently settled Elaine back into her crib. He smiled a little as her small fist jutted out, clutching his finger in the now-familiar gesture of comfort. His entire body ached, and his heart ached within him as he thought of what Therian would think, if she saw him now. He would not fail Therian. He would not let go of Elaine, too...

He gently pulled her fist from his hand as he saw her eyelids droop, and pulled the blanket up to her chin. He slowly rocked the crib on its base, wishing he could sleep as easily as she did.

For a moment, Qui-Gon didn’t want to turn around. He knew that Therian Jinn was dead, and fear that this apparition might not be her, might be some fevered specter of his imagination, or a dream, froze him.

Qui-Gon took a shuddering breath and turned around. Therian stood behind him, clad in the simple white dress she had worn to their wedding, looking sad and solemn. But she seemed arrayed in a faint glow, that threw off the shadow that had covered her for so long.

Qui-Gon opened his mouth, but no words came. He wanted to tell Therian how much he loved her, how much he wished she were still there, and how sorry he was. Sorry for losing her, and sorry for failing her Elaine.

One hand, seeming to fade in and out, reached up to touch his bearded cheek. “I’m so sorry,” Therian said gently, caressing his tear-stained face, running her finger along his jaw. “I’ve come for her, Qui-Gon.”

“For her?” Qui-Gon choked, gripping her hands, feeling them fade in and out like mist.

Therian nodded, her gray eyes seeming to shine like a beacon. “She needs me, Qui-Gon. You aren’t meant to take care of her... your place is elsewhere. I have come to set her free.”

Qui-Gon felt the tears streaming down his face as she slowly faded away. When he turned back to Elaine’s crib, he knew that the child inside would not respond.

Qui-Gon Jinn stood before the two grave markers, a smaller, newer one beside Therian’s. The stone lettering read, “Elaine Jinn, Beloved Daughter.” He slowly knelt next to it, running his fingers over the words. A faint sigh escaped him.

A tiny rustling signalled Master Yoda’s approach. The tiny Jedi Master came up behind Qui-Gon, clawed hands resting on his gnarled cane. “Sorry I am,” he said quietly.

Yoda watched the young man for a long time, leaning towards his daughter’s grave marker, then straightened ever so slightly. “For the best it is, you know.”

“No coincidences, there are,” Yoda persisted solemnly, his worn robe flapping a little in the wind that rustled the trees. His face softened a little.“Nothing happens by chance. The will of the Force it was, that they be one with it... But miss them you will. Never forget them, you will. And with you, they will always be.”

Qui-Gon nodded slightly, still resting his hand on Elaine’s marker. Yoda put a hand on Qui-Gon’s shoulder, then turned and quickly walked away.

After a long time, Qui-Gon slowly rose and looked around Therian’s garden, now tended by Alelia. The wind blew his long brown hair across his face. He brushed it aside absently, as he watched the treetops thrash in the wind.

The faint, shimmering form of a beautiful woman appeared amidst the trees, holding a baby in her arms. One long arm raised in greeting, and a baby’s crow of joy rose above the wind. Qui Gon waved to her, just before the wind blew them from sight, like mist in the morning sun...

“A captain’s place is not dry land
A newborn needs a woman’s hand.
Mother dear is much too old
For a little child, bright and bold
It’s with her mother she’s got to be...
I’ve come to set her spirit free...”

MOTHER AND CHILD