DISCLAIMER: Star Wars and all publicly recognisable characters, names and references, etc are the sole property of George Lucas, Lucasfilm Ltd, Lucasarts Inc, 20th Century Fox, Timothy Zahn, Barbara Hambly, YKW and the other writers of the expanded Star Wars Universe. This fan fiction was created solely for entertainment and no money was made from it. Also, no copyright or trademark infringement was intended. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Any other characters, the storyline and the actual story are the property of the author.
Vaiya stood alone on the observation deck. She could barely make out Durran from here...just a pale speck in the mosaic of the sky. One tiny piece, drowned out by a million others with brighter colors and bigger lights. But her heart knew where it was.
She liked it here alone right now. She had sensed the reconciliation of her parents and the calming of her mother's dark emotions. But she did not try and see them. They needed time to themselves.
So did she.
Still gazing at the dim speck that was Durran, she thought about Larin. She wanted to reach out to him, just to know where he was, but something stopped her. Not yet, a quiet inner voice instructed her. The time is not here.
Accepting it with a sigh, she rested her head against the glass. She wanted to go back to Durran and finish her Jedi training, although she doubted that there was much Valeris could teach her about the physical aspects of the Force that either he or her father had not already taught her. And there was little doubt that after Mother regained her senses and started to have more clear memories of her homeworld, she would want to go there.
Now, as she thought about Durran in a more rational light---for nothing about the last few days had been rational--she noticed that they had had very little trouble getting off Durran without getting attacked by Cal. After all, they had hired Cal to protect their space territory and keep the offworlders...well, off. Apparently, he had either fallen asleep at the helm, or he'd been fired.
She had to smile at that thought. But it was only a matter of time before the man showed his wickedly handsome face again. Vaiya felt a moment of pleasure at the thought of marring it with the flat end of her lightsaber, just for fun, and quickly pushed it away. He had a real vendetta against the Skywalkers. Vaiya knew the worst was yet to come.
Such was the trial of the Jedi.
She hoped Larin was okay.
Valeris could teach her many more things than just about the Force, she knew. And she found herself wanting to learn them. She had barely been sixteen for a month, and she felt like she was sixty-one and sinking into the twilight of her life. Her mind ached, her throat was raw, and her eyes blurred with exhaustion. Her muscles ached and she wasn't even moving, just standing still. Her connection to her mother had eased considerably, but there was something beyond that. Vaiya felt like she had inherited something, letting those memories pass through her conscious thoughts and back into Mara where they belonged. The things her mother had learned to do as the Emperor's Hand would only require practice for Vaiya to be able to imitate them herself. The intelligence, the toughness of her mother had somehow regenerated her, had countered the Jedi Knight that her father's half had imbued her with. She knew so many people saw her father in her. It was time to show the world that she was part Jade, as well.
Young and old at the same time. This universe made little sense.
She turned from the viewport, growing tired to the stars. They were rarely the same, but she was as used to them as she was sunlight and air. They were just there, unthinking, unchanging...and exuding the power of the Force. The Force that was the energy of all things, living or likewise, the potential energy of stillness or the kinetic energy of movement. It was all there, a great forcefield of power to be tapped into by anyone with the ability.
People like her.
Valeris had taught her much in the short time she was with him. He had shown her that the Force itself was not sentient, but was a weapon, and neutral, like all other weapons. He explained to her that the Jedi, centuries ago, had believed in not just the Force, but in its Maker. The people of Durran named the Maker Yejion, but the Maker had other names. He was the Maker, the Sustainer, and the Completer, the Beginning and the End. Although the Jedi embraced all religions, this code had not originally come from their belief that the Force was neutral and embraced all. This had come from the ancient belief that all races believed in the Maker, and that the Maker was present in all races, for the Maker had made everything, so any religion that followed the heart of the Jedi code was embraced. But over time, the belief that the Maker was in fact existence itself had blurred the lines between It and It's creation, the Force. So the Force had become the maker, and the Jedi had soon been lost under dark side oppression.
The Jedi belief had not been wrong. But credit had not been given where it was due.
Vaiya pulled herself from her heavy thoughts. She knew she believed Valeris, but she wanted more than just this "universal explanation." She wanted to know why. Because as soon as she knew why, she could pass this on to other Jedi Knights. Perhaps Derrin and Drianna---stars, she hadn't even thought about Derrin at all, let alone Drianna!--would be interested. The two of them had been awfully dedicated to their homeworld religions before they'd come to the academy, and Vaiya very much doubted that they had given those beliefs up. In fact, even her own father had said that he'd always known there was a reason he had never tried to enforce the belief of the Force as completely supreme--he had known in his selfless Jedi heart that there was something bigger, but it was not yet time for him to see.
Maybe he had time now. Maybe Mother would, too. If Valeris had taught her, even as young as she was, the same things he had taught Vaiya, perhaps Mother would want to learn those things again herself.
Problem was...what to do in the meantime?
Courscant was pretty fantastic, she had to admit. She didn't know what was more spectacular---the starts of the coreworlds in their bright gem-like colors, or the way the city under her moved, always bustling, always alive and awake. Maybe she should act like a teenager again. Maybe even go shopping. Surely Drianna would join her....
Or maybe not.
Vaiya started the slow meander back to her parents aparments, lost in her thoughts. When she arrived, she noticed that it had not been used the entire time that her parents had been here. Except for the bed being dented slightly on Luke's side from the one night he'd slept here, maybe two, nothing had been used. No cups, no dishes, no food, the couch was still wrinkle-free and everything was in its place.
Her bag sat on the floor outside of her room. She had quickly changed out of her father's black Jedi uniform after she'd seen Mara for the first time. It might have helped her a bit to see her in an ordinary gray jumpsuit later on, looking very casual, very normal, nothing like a Jedi knight.
Vaiya pulled the suit out of her bag. With it came the lightsaber--Anakin Skywalker's lightsaber. She'd taken them out of some childish desire to prove to her parents that she was just as good as they were, just as capable of being Jedi as they were, just as worthy of trust as they were.
Trust... Vaiya felt like laughing. Trust did not begin to cover what she had experienced. There were things she had dismissed, things her brain had refused to see because they were not meant for her to see, whether they be in life-threatening situations or not. Maybe she should give them back. Using them now...it made her slightly ill, even thinking about it. Carefully, she draped them across the bed, placing the lightsaber in the center so it wouldn't roll. Maybe if things had gone differently, her parents could have seen her in them...could have seen how she was to be their pride, not their fear. And fear for her they did. It was more accute now than ever before, which was rather odd because Vaiya's irritation with that had smoothed into a kind of mellow saddness.
Her concentration was broken by someone ringing the small announcer at the door. Vaiya stepped into the small foyer and checked the small screen.
It was Drianna.
For a moment, Vaiya just watched her. She was very pretty--thick dark hair that fell down the middle of her back in a heavy rope-like braid, muscular build, but hardly masculine... she had an ease about her that Vaiya rather liked.
Liked, in fact, very much.
She opened the door, and as it slid back to reveal her visitor in the flesh, Drianna turned to her with a guarded expression on her face, as if expecting immediate rejection.
"Hello, Dri," Vaiya said, feeling extremely open toward the woman. Drianna started slightly as if someone had just tossed her a potato that she had expected to be hot.
"Hello, Vai," Drianna replied, and after a few seconds Vaiya felt her relax. "Can I come in?"
"Of course." Vaiya turned away and headed for her room again, grabbing the bag and hauling it back with her to the small dining room. She pulled out one of the heavy glass chairs padded with expensive silver-tone embroidered pillows and plopped down, preparing to examine the bag's contents. "What can I do for you?" Vaiya asked.
There was a pause for her answer. Vaiya even glanced up in puzzlement to find Drianna staring at her. "Great stars," Drianna finally whispered. "You were only gone a month."
Vaiya couldn't resist a grin as she shrugged her shoulders. "What can I say? People change."
Drianna frowned slightly and shook her head. "Vaiya, you don't even look sixteen. You didn't look like this when you came back with us from Durran...have you taken a good look at yourself in the mirror? I swear, you've aged."
Curiosity raised by Drianna's expression, Vaiya stood up and made her way to the refresher. The large glass gave her a wide view, and it took Vaiya a few seconds to see what Drianna was talking about.
Her hair, the reddish honey color that it had always been, was the same. Her eyes, a bright shade of blue green, stared back at her as usual. But there was something in her face. An expression, maybe? It certainly wasn't wrinkles...except for that one line that had found its permanent place between her eyebrows.
Okay, so Drianna was right. She had aged. But it wasn't a physical aging. It was all rather...odd.
Vaiya turned away, feeling a little spooked. She was getting rather tired of all the seriousness around her lately. She sighed and shook it off. "I don't know...blame it on hyperspace. What is it that you wanted?" she asked, still trying to stay light.
Drianna shifted a little. "Well, this is going to sound a little odd..."
"Yeah, join the club," Vaiya whispered.
"I just...I just wanted to tell you that...." Drianna started back toward the dining room, feeling a little more comfortable telling Vaiya these things in more social venues, "...I wanted to make sure that everything was...okay."
"Okay?" Vaiya echoed, not quite getting the gist.
"Yeah, okay. I mean, I know that you were a little mad when you left us, and when we found you--or rather, you found us--we didn't really get a chance to say much."
After a long pause and a very hard look into Drianna's face, Vaiya finally said, "You're talking about Derrin."
"Yes."
Vaiya smiled. Instantly, that spooky aged-look vanished. She reached out and took Drianna's hand. "Hey, don't sweat it, okay? I'm fine. Really." She even laughed. A genuine laugh. Derrin...of all the things to fight over.
"Really?" Drianna echoed, doubtful.
"You didn't happen to notice that I was with someone, did you?" Vaiya pointed out.
Drianna's face changed from recognition to complete bafflement. "You mean...you and that guy, what was his name?"
"Larin."
"But he left! I thought he was just hitching a ride."
"He was."
"But why would he leave when you were--"
Vaiya put her hand up. "It's complicated, Drianna. I don't even understand it myself. But whatever Larin needed to do, he needed to do it alone. And I needed to do this alone. I mean," and she added a grin, "we all gotta grow up sometime."
Drianna took this in, and after a few long moments, she said, "I guess we do. But all that aside, Vai," and she put out her hand, "I just want to be friends."
"Sounds good to me." Vaiya took it, putting all the genuine warmth into the handshake that she could.
Just then, the door slid open without it being announced. Han Solo stood in the doorway, his eyes scanning the room until they landed on Vaiya.
"There you are!" he said. "I've been looking for you everywhere!"
Vaiya went to him and embraced him. "They told me that you were here for a while, but that you had to leave."
"Yeah, well, the life of an ex-smuggler is never dull when he marries a diplomat," Han muttered as he ruffled Vaiya's hair. "You look older."
"Yeah, we were just discussing that," Drianna said dryly.
Vaiya considered her uncle for a long moment. "Uncle Han, what are you doing for the next two weeks?" she said hopefully.
"Why?" Han asked, typically suspicious.
"I was wondering if...you could get me back to Durran."
"Why?" Han asked, nearly flabbergasted. "We just went through Kessel and back to get you out!"
Vaiya shrugged. "It's just something I need to do," she said softly.
Han sighed. "Far be it from me to argue with a Jedi. But you get to tell your parents."