A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY HOME: Part 2

by:  My-Gin-Gone
Feedback to:  Spacefan@cybergal.com



DISCLAIMER: Star Wars and all publicly recognisable characters, names and references, etc are the sole property of George Lucas, Lucasfilm Ltd, Lucasarts Inc and 20th Century Fox.  The character of Ardeth Fey is from the movie "The Mummy" which belongs to Universal Pictures.  This fan fiction was created solely for entertainment and no money was made from it.  Also, no copyright or trademark infringement was intended.  Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.  Any other characters, the storyline and the actual story are the property of the author.
The lyrics are for the song "Charlie Smalls", as sung by Stephanie Mills.


You light a candle and place it in the sand. You see others do the same inside the chapel dedicated to meditating with the Living Force. It is there you seek to renew your connection with the two little ones. Tears stream down your face, your heart aches.

"Happy birthday my babies."

As you stand up, you wonder if your aching is justified. Qui-Gon has explained to you at least a hundred times that it was best for them to leave.


[Your hands grip the porch railing.

"MY GODS WHAT HAVE I DONE!" You yell as the speeder rushes off into the distance. All you can see is the white blanket your first born is wrapped in. A stranger in a brown cloak, a jedi-- holds him, taking him away to be trained in the ways of the Force.

"He's got my baby!" You cry, "He took my baby!"

Your mind is in hysterics as you feel Obi-Wan stir. You feel him reaching out to you instinctively with the Force. You respond back with difficulty. The Jedi is shutting down the link between you and he. Obi-Wan begins to cry. He cries for you through his link. He calls for you-- desperately. His quivering voice echoes in your ears. Your breasts leak as if on cue.

"No!" You dart out into the sand feeling his panic, his fear. Baby Obi-Wan calls to you, begging for comfort. His tortured cries are insistent.

Arms grab you and lock you in a tight embrace. You fight for dear life. "Lemme go!! DEAR GODS LEMME GO!!!!! I've got to stop them."

Your struggling is useless. Qui-Gon has you. He is soothing you.

"Love it is for the best." He insists but his voice quivers.

"No." You struggle wildly. Your world goes black.]


You amble into the town square. Three hours have passed since you and Swee left home this morning. You don't feel like shopping and you decide to swing by the tech shop, pick up Swee and head back home.

Everywhere you look, there are mothers with children and families. Fathers, daughters, sons, mothers...grandparents together. You fold your arms protectively and trudge on to your speeder.

Can I risk having more children with them? Can I bear having my babies taken away from me? Is it selfish of me to deny their request? Do I really want any more?

//There is a possibility that any more children we have may not pass the tests.// You rationalize.

You catch a glimpse of your reflection in the shop window. Your normally youthful face looks tired and listless.

"I just need a nap." You say though you're not sleepy in the least bit. "What clothes are these? I need some pants and stuff anyway. Shopping is a good thing."

Not in this case. You notice that you are standing in front of a maternity store.

[ "Come on, we are going to be late." Ardeth insists tossing his pack on to the floor near the front door. You come out of the bedroom staring at him curiously.

He stares at your light weight shorts and blouse. "Why aren't you dressed?" He questions, his Titanese accent clipping each word. "You can't wear that in Devil's Canyon."

"I'll sit this one out."

"Don't be silly," He walks by you into the dining room picking up his lightsaber from the table. "You love the hike. You always have. Besides, Qui-Gon is waiting. Hurry up and change." He examines the saber and frowns, "Did Swee knock this into the water again?"

"Nope. And I repeat, I am not going." You walk over to him and adjust his ruffled tunic. Your hands trace his broad chest. You smile loving everything about him, his height, his strength, his fortitude and you don't even mind his gruff personality.

"Why not?" He growls

"It's taxing on the body."

Ardeth rolls his eyes, "You've done it a dozen times before. We've planned this and you change your mind?" The irritation in his voice heightens. "Why?"

Your head comes up to his stomach. He and Qui-Gon are tall. Very tall. You motion for him to sit down. He obliges. You climb on to his lap and straddle him. You pull him close and whisper into his ear, "Because your child grows within me."

You face him. Unsure of how he will take the news. When you first met he and Qui-Gon they were an inseparable pair-- as close as molecules of water but as different as the seasons. Qui-Gon gravitated toward children, he's a natural. Ardeth could intimidate a droideka.

Ardeth's mahogany eyes stare at you. He is speechless. His mouth hangs open a bit. You're not accustomed to this expression. You smile meekly fearing the worst.

His hand timidly touches your womb. You lick your lips. You inhale feeling his life force touch the tiny one within you. Its response is an echo of his.

"I'm going to be a father." He whispers.

You tear and nod, "Please don't be upset."

He shakes his head rapidly. And says something you don't understand.

"MY LOVE!!" He sweeps you up, kissing you. "You have made me so happy."

"You're not angry." Your arms and legs are wrapped around him.

"No. I love you and I love our daughter!" He declares in between kisses.

Ardeth embraces you tightly, nearly squeezing the wind out of you. He ushers you into the bedroom. The hike is all but forgotten.]

"Ahh Sgt. Fey-Jinn," A voice calls behind you.

You turn to see your former commanding officer, Troy Xiloft. You wondered how a man with platinum hair and the pallor to match, could stand living on a planet with so much sun.

"Commander Xiloft." You nod not saluting because both he and you were out of uniform. Actually you no longer served him but worked in a civilian branch of the Security Forces.

"I'm so glad to find you." He glances at the clothes in the window. He shakes his head contemptuously albeit briefly.

Xiloft always gave you a hard time during your pregnancies. He always thought it was just another excuse for staying home and doing nothing.

You eye him suspiciously, "Well I was just leaving. I must pick up my protocol droid from the tech shop."

"Actually I need to speak with you."

"I'm off today, check back with me tomorrow."

"I can't do that." He snapped. "We have a security problem per clearance Bravo-Alpha-One."

You swear to yourself. He invoked a classified civilian security code which prompts you to duty automatically.


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