A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY HOME: Part 1

by:  My-Gin-Gone
Feedback to:  Spacefan@cybergal.com



DISCLAIMER: Star Wars and all publicly recognisable characters, names and references, etc are the sole property of George Lucas, Lucasfilm Ltd, Lucasarts Inc and 20th Century Fox.  The character of Ardeth Fey is from the movie "The Mummy" which belongs to Universal Pictures.  This fan fiction was created solely for entertainment and no money was made from it.  Also, no copyright or trademark infringement was intended.  Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.  Any other characters, the storyline and the actual story are the property of the author.
The lyrics are for the song "Charlie Smalls", as sung by Stephanie Mills.


"If you're listening God please don't make it hard to know if we should believe the things that we see. Tell us should we try and stay or should we run away or would it be better just to let things, let them be--

--oh Livin' here in this brand new world might be a fantasy...but it's taught me to love oh yea. So it's real, it's so real, it's real..

To be in a land that we've (reached for?) inside our hearts to find...
a world full of love,
like yours,
like mine,
like Home..." Charlie Smalls as sung by Stephanie Mills


[ Shrieks and giggles of delight rise out of the tiny little bodies clad in russet colored tunics and trousers. Their blunt cut hair and burgeoning padawan braids bounce around as they tumble about in the enclosed courtyard. Though you try to quicken your pace as you circle the yard, you are unable to. Finally you arrive at a sandbox where two children, a boy and a girl, sit playing with little toy banthas. Their bright eyes and smiles warm your heart.

You regard the two children. They are obviously padawans—they have the characteristic braid, v-collar tunic and trousers. (Maybe they are future knights or healers you don't know.) You kneel beside them to examine them more closely. They chatter happily to one another, running their chubby fingers through the sand growling enthusiastically.

The little girl's hair is as black as ebony and shines like freshly polished obsidian. Her skin is the color of caramel and her round eyes the color of mahogany. Her full lips easily curl into an angelic smile. You quell the urge to hug her and cover her with kisses.

The boy busily shakes sand from his cinnamon colored hair. His fair skin exudes pink from too much exposure in the mid-afternoon sun. His cobalt blue eyes sit far back in his face balancing out his chubby cheeks.

The girl curls her lips and growls furiously. "ROWR!!"

He responds in kind, "ROWR, ROWR." And lunges his toy bantha at hers.

Your heart sparks a feeling deep within you. A lump grows in your throat as the feeling fades.

"I know you." You whisper.

They smile at one another and face you. Their cherubim faces are the essence of innocence. Their round eyes gaze at you.

"Hi mommy." They say in unison and reach for you. ]

"Mistress. Mistress." Your eyes flutter open to see your silver protocol droid, SW-40, leaning over you. You manage a noncommittal grunt.

"The masters wanted me to alert you to the late hour." She continued, her joints hummed with each movement.

Your head sluggishly turns and peers at the chrono read out built into the wall. It was only an hour past dawn.

You groan and pull the sheets over your head, "Go way." Only Jedi would think this was waking up late.

"But mistress. Please get up. The masters instructed me to not let you go back to sleep."

Knowing that Swee's programming would last longer than your resistance, you sit up. Both sides of your extra-large bed appear to have been long since abandoned. Only the ruffled pillows on either side of you show any evidence of a recent departure.

As you prepare for the shower, you can't stop thinking about your dream. Every night for the last month, it played over and over like a republic holofeed. It's no mystery why your mind settles on the two children—it's there birthday. The boy, Obi-Wan will be four and the girl, Nurit, three--born a year and a half apart but on the same date.

You finish drying yourself off and spray fragrant scents on your body. You slip on your undergarments and floor length dress humming a melodious tune. You then pull your long brown tresses into a pony-tail and begin your day.

"At least I'm off today." You remember with a smile while strolling down the hallway and passing the guest bedroom. You stop suddenly and turn. Your hand clutches the door frame. The room is silent and dark. You purse your lips.

"Lights." You say quietly. Your eyes scan the room. It looks the same as before. A hint of talcum wafts to your nose. Images of a baby bed and rocker replaces that of the sleep couch in your mind. You close your eyes and sigh.

"I'll be fine." You mutter to yourself and go into the kitchen. Swee busily waters the plants and banters with Micki (a calico kitten) and Cato (a three legged tan dog), Qui-Gon acquired on a recent trip to Earth. It took awhile for you to get use to the animals, considering you just managed to find homes for the rest of his zoological preserve not too long ago.

You pour yourself a glass of berry juice. You reach out with the Force™ to see if your mates are nearby. Nothing.

You turn on the republic holofeed. The grainy 3-d picture comes to life before you. A squat man dressed in ministerial robes drones on about the electorate. You switch the channel just as the feed quakes a bit.

"Blinds open." You command as the metallic shutters outside your window rise allowing the brilliant desert light to flood into the kitchen. An advertisement for children's clothing comes on. You smile and wonder if they were imported to these parts.

Titan is on the edge of the core planets. It's peaceful, technologically advanced and steeped in tradition. Not to mention out in the middle of nowhere when it comes trade. If it's not made here, then it has to be shipped in and that's a pain. The mercantile transports come once a week and most of the time they aren't properly stocked. Then it costs extra to have it specially shipped in and that's an even bigger pain.

You end your musings when you realize a little problem with your plan. You can't send clothing to the temple. For one thing, they provide all the essentials for everyone- from the highest council member to the littlest padawan. And you're not even sure if you are allowed to go see them. Problems with fearful children and skittish parents like yourself have caused a shift in policy. You heard rumors that at one time parents could slip in anonymously and take a peek at their kids but after incidents with fear and the dark side. The practices are discouraged.

Just as you finish your drink, you hear voices in the living room. There is a tremor in your bond telling you that your life mates are home. The growl of Knight Ardeth Fey's voice followed by the low timbre of Master Qui-Gon Jinn's wafts into the room. You hear a third that you do not recognize.

"Must be work related." You shake your head knowing even when they are on sabbatical they still work. For them, being a Jedi is not only what they do, it is who they are. It's in their blood and now it's in their children's blood.

You place a kettle on the burner allowing the water to slowly warm. You take some fruit out of the cooler and slice it. A short while later, you enter the living room carrying sliced warm breads, fruit and fresh tea.

"Gentleman," You smile, "refreshments."

You place the tray upon the table in front of the sofa. Your eyes greet three men. One round and portly with a receding hairline, his eyes are kind but stressed. The other was that of Master Qui-Gon's. His ocean blue eyes regard you with characteristic compassion. His chestnut mane flows down his back with the top pulled back in a tight tail. You notice that his beard is just beginning to have flecks of grey in it.

Qui-Gon introduces you, "Councilman Tai Bejo, this is our life mate Chana."

You shake his hand pleasantly. "It is a pleasure to meet you. Please help yourself to the refreshments."

"Thank you very much." He nods and helps himself to a piece of fruit.

You smile and catch a glimpse of Ardeth studying you. Though his talents lay more toward the Unifying Force, he is still quite able to have a notion of what you are feeling. Qui-Gon, a master in the Living Force, probably beamed your mood before he walked into the door. You figure there is no since in worrying any one. Your mind begins projecting thoughts of love and contentment.

You pass out little plates that Swee has just handed to you. You steal a glance at Ardeth who has just resumed his conversation with the Councilman. His shoulder length raven hair shines like a precious gem. His bronze skin, full lips and neatly trimmed goatee complete his look of fierce warrior/jedi knight.

"Shoo, shoo Micki." You move Qui-Gon's kitten that has just jumped onto the table. "Sorry about that." You tuck the fur ball under your arm and head out.

"Mistress," Swee hummed into the kitchen behind you.

"Yes," You reply washing your hands and cleaning up. You know it was Swee's job but you wanted to keep busy.

"Do you think perhaps, that one day this week I could go in for a good cleaning? My joints are becoming stiff due to the sand deposits."

You nod putting away clean dishes, "Yea I noticed you are a little louder than normal. Sure, I'll take you into town today."

A large hand caresses your waist and pulls you toward a strong body. You purr instantly recognizing Qui-Gon's spicy scent.

He nuzzles your neck, "You are leaving?"

You two rock back and forth. You wrap your arms around his, "If I don't Swee won't be able to walk soon."

Qui turns you around and sits you on the corner enabling you to be at chest level. You part your legs allowing him to move in closer. He wraps his arms around your waist as you cling to his neck. He pulls you into a breathtaking kiss.

"Did Swee wake you?" He asks pulling away.

"Yep, at the crack of dawn just like you commanded."

He chuckles, "We were up at the crack of dawn. You were still sleeping." Qui corrects playfully.

"True." You smile and lean into his hand which is caressing your face.

"Are you all right?"

"Mmmm..hmm."

He kisses you once again, "Are you certain?"

You scratch his beard causing him to purr. "Yep."

"Have you thought about our discussion?"

You nod slowly. He and Ardeth want to have more children.

"And?" His voice is soft and insistent.

"I don't know." Anxiety evident on your face, you look away blushing.

Qui-Gon's sigh of disappointment breaks your heart. His hand under your chin guides your gaze back to his.

"Ardeth and I are going off planet briefly," He explains. His eyes express love and determination, "we shall discuss this again upon our return."

You nod knowing the discussion was more of you listening and them insisting.

"Okay." You reply sweetly.

He gives your short pecks on the lips, "I must get back."

As Qui-Gon exits the room, Ardeth enters just as you are about to hop down from the counter. He holds you in place and wraps his arms around you. You two nuzzle nose to nose.

"Qui-Gon told you we are leaving?" His asks, his voice like the growl of a fierce animal.

You run your hands through his soft hair, "Will you be together?"

"Most of the time, hopefully."

"Good, then I shall expect you back at the same time." You smile and kiss him. The kiss is long and sensuous. Your love for each other flows unabashedly through your bond.

"If it is the will of the Force." He finishes.

"I pray that it is." You stare at his lucious full lips.

"You remember your promise?"

You glare at him, "What is it with you two?"

He ignores your remark, "You will not take any assignments from him if he calls."

You note that most of the statements that leave Ardeth's mouth sound like commands. "If I remember correctly our deal only applies when--."

He presses a finger to your mouth, "We will continue that discussion later."

"So I've been informed." You groan. He nor Qui-Gon have no great love for your former career as a soldier with the Security Force. They especially have no like whatsoever for your former commanding officer --Commander Xiloft.

Xiloft has demonstrated on more than one occasion that his ego took presidence over the well-being of his troops or your life in particular. Not to mention that he is not above using any means necessary to get you to work for him again. You were one of the best and he has a high turnover rate.

"No freelance, no assignments and don't let him goad you into doing any favors for him."

"I still am in charge of security for the Main Council." Your finger traces the blue tatoos on his forehead and below his eyes. He received them upon his return to his home planet. They were given to those who possessed great spiritual gifts.

"Only for another week."

Though your present mindset is a million years away from work. You still wander where you will go once that life is behind you.


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