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1. When confronted with an enemy, you...
a) play possum.
b) spit in his eye.
c) run away like Monty Python.
d) I didn't sign up for this test. I signed up for "Starfleet captains in training". This IS Section B, Deck Twelve, correct? Hello? Who are all of you? Oh well, as long as I'm here...

2. Your lightsaber's blade color should be...
a) red.
b) green.
c) an intense yet somehow soothing shade of fluorescent orange.
d) The dang thing won't start up!

3. When you look out the windows of the Jedi Temple, you should see...
a) about a billion buildings.
b) a place where many races work and live together in harmony.
c) an enviromentalist's nightmare.
d) I'm too short to look out the windows.

4. The Sith are...
a) extinct.
b) on vacation.
c) working for PBS.
d) What are the Sith?

5. If your Padawan apprentice annoys you, you...
a) tell him that you understand and everybody makes mistakes.
b) tell him that his days are numbered if he doesn't bug off.
c) swat him firmly yet affectionately with your lightsaber.
d) choke him to death with the Force.

6. When meeting the Jedi Council, you should not say...
a) "I have to go to the bathroom, Master."
b) "He IS the chosen one!"
c) "Master Yoda, have you ALWAYS looked like that?"
d) "I have a sudden hankering for black body armor and breathing masks..."

7. The age limit for becoming a Jedi is...
a) six months.
b) a year.
c) nine years old.
d) a week from Tuesday.

8. When your Master does something you disapprove of, you...
a) tell him that you understand and everybody makes mistakes, even if he makes more than usual.
b) tell him that his days are numbered if he doesn't do what you want.
c) whine constantly and hope he caves in.
d) choke him to death with the Force.

9. As an ambassador of peace, you...
a) tell both sides that they're idiots.
b) sit there and suck your thumb.
c) converse with their droids because it's obvious nobody's ever actually going to talk to YOU.
d) whine for your teddy bear.

10. In a lightsaber duel, you...
a) do a lot of jumping and spinning.
b) lunge in without restraint.
c) turn to the dark side.
d) get killed.

11. When you build a lightsaber, you...
a) use it as a flashlight.
b) give yourself injuries.
c) discover that batteries are not included.
d) You mean I have to BUILD it?

12. If you encounter a pathetic life-form, you...
a) run away like Monty Python.
b) take it under your wing.
c) ask it for directions.
d) Who are you calling pathetic?

13. If your Master tells you to hide during a battle, you hide...
a) in a closet.
b) in a bathroom stall.
c) in the cockpit of a very active fighter.
d) under a desk.

14. When reporting to the Jedi Council, you do not...
a) refer to any figure of authority as "babelicious".
b) make comments about your Padawan's eating habits.
c) take the opportunity to show off your new double-bladed lightsaber.
d) You mean I have to REPORT?

15. The favorite sport of a Jedi is...
a) fencing.
b) high-diving into melting pits.
c) podracing.
d) I prefer poker.

16. You were trained by...
a) Mace Windu
b) Yoda
c) Qui-Gon Jinn
d) Monty Python

17. A Jedi does not...
a) make comments on the ridiculous hairstyles of planetary leaders.
b) podrace.
c) cut his hair, unless he's a Padawan.
d) drink and drive.

18. If your Padawan accidently insults a planetary leader, you...
a) assure the leader that he didn't mean it.
b) tell your Padawan that you know he didn't mean to offend and you're going to kill him if he ever goofs it like that again.
c) ignore it and hope nobody notices.
d) ask, "Since when is it a crime to say, 'Hi, y'all'?"

19. A Jedi must have...
a) patience.
b) a lightsaber.
c) pigheadedness.
d) long hair.

20. When meeting the Jedi Council, you should not ask...
a) "Master Yoda, who taught you to cook?"
b) "Why are any of us here?"
c) "Would anyone mind terribly if I run to my room to tape 'The Search For Spock'?"
d) "My master told you about the incident with the lightsaber and the cat, didn't he? He didn't?"

21. A lightsaber is not used to...
a) brand cattle.
b) burn graffiti into walls.
c) cut your own bangs.
d) impress chicks.

22. As a Padawan, you should never ask your master...
a) "Master, were you ever attacked by your girlfriend's big brother?"
b) "Master, why do I have a little braid?"
c) "Master, how old were you when you got your driver's license?"
d) "Master, why don't we ever go anyplace FUN?"

23. If you ever encounter a Sith in battle, you should...
a) beg for mercy.
b) attack him valorously.
c) run like Monty Python.
d) What's a Sith?

24. If you battle a Sith, you should tell the Jedi Council...
a) "Don't worry, he was a wimp."
b) "I'm scared out of my pants."
c) "My only conclusion can be that it was a Sith Lord."
d) "Master, what's a Sith?"

25. As a Jedi, you...
a) protect the defenseless.
b) wear a brown cloak.
c) use the Force.
d) run away like Monty Python.

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