Author's Notes: Ok... do not take this story seriously... this is just the result of having to many things to do and no will to do them... when any excuse to not make them is a good excuse, know what I mean?
And, by they way, I would like to leave here a big thanks to Caerylayn, for her enlightenment in the ways of sports.
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters and property of Stargate SG-1 belong to MGM/UA, World Gekko Corp. and Double Secret Productions. This fan fiction was created solely for entertainment purposes and no money was made from it. Also, no copyright or trademark infringement was intended. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Any other characters, the storyline and the actual story are the property of the author. Not to be archived without permission of the author(s).
"Can we leave now?", Colonel O'Neill, whispering, asked Major Samantha Carter for the fifth time in the last couple of minutes.
His second in command gave him 'the look' and, sighing, explained him again.
"Not yet, Sir... if we want to built a solid commercial relationship with the inhabitants of this world, we ARE gonna have to stay until the celebration is over, until they give Daniel whatever they want to give him for having saved that girl and until the treaty is signed. Then... we can leave, Sir!", she told him, in a tone of voice that clearly stated that it was the last time she was doing so, commanding officer or not!
"Fine!", the man said, going in to sulking mode, crossing his arms in front of the chest and leaning back on the cushioned seat.
SG1 had arrived in SF6969 two days ago, with orders to stay 24 hours and, in that space of time, present the locals with SGC offer of mineral exploration of their place, in exchange for help against the Goa'uld... all of this in time enough for O'Neill to return and get to see his plays-off's on TV. Not that General Hammond knew anything about that particular mission goal, but as the Colonel had put it ' nothing on Earth, or outside her, is gonna stop me from seeing my team win!"
Unfortunately for him, and in tradition of the typical SG1 off-world luck, shortly after their arrival, when Daniel was taking a look on some old ruins on their way to the mane village, his foot got caught in something and he ended up falling straight ahead, on a big hole in the ground.
Fortunately for the young man, his landing was quite soft, as he land, not to gracefully, on top of the young woman that was laying there.
And that was why they were now at this big party given in Daniel's honor, 'cause, as it turned out, the young girl was the chef's daughter, that was missing for about three days and Daniel had been the one to 'found' and saved her.
So, they where kindly enough 'forced' to stay on the planet, long enough for the girl to regain some of herself, for the chef to present Daniel with something that was only offer to their greatest heroes, and then, yes, of course they would be very happy to have the SGC personal dig holes on their ground.
As good as the mission was turning out to be, Colonel O'Neill was not a very happy camper, seeing that the delay was only causing him to miss the play-off's, and being the planet's temperature a little big on the top side, the fact that he was sweating all over was not giving much to improve his grumpy mood.
Some time later, after what seemed like entire days to the leader of SG1, the weird alien music came to an alt, as the chef raised from his seat and prepared himself to give a speech, which he did, although only the locals and Daniel caught on what he said, 'cause for the rest of SG1 the language couldn't be more alien (although Daniel had assured them that it actual a very common dialect from the current Congo), so they got squat of that part.
Same time short after, having finally heard one word that they could make, something sounding like 'Daneil Tchak'son', guessing that it could be their teammate's name, they saw two young women, approach the chef and Daniel, carrying something more covered then they were between them, about the size of a watermelon.
The chef took the peace in his hands, and uncovering it, presented the young man with a very fine traced, detailed, black wood statue of two lovers... in position number 81/69 of Kama Sutra!
While the look on the anthropologist's face was priceless, red all over, mixed with tiny white spots on the cheeks, mouth looking like a fish out of water, trying to say something remotely resembling intelligent and/or nice, the rest of the team was clearly trying not to burst in laugh, even Teal'c!
When all things where finally over, SG1 said their good-byes and headed for the 'gate, all the way with Daniel trying to explain his teammates the meaning of the statue, this is, when Jack's wisecracks let him do so.
"... so, since sex plains such an important part on their culture, they thought that it was the best to way for them to show how thankful they were. This is actually pretty important for them... it provides for the owner love, good fortune, and..."
"Lot's of sex?", Jack ventured.
"... fulfillment of all whishes", Daniel finished, sending a slightly annoyed look the older man's way.
"Ah, cam'ooon! That's basically a stone guy sticking his stone..."
"Sir!"
"... foot in the air... what Major?", he asked, the smirk on his lips making him look like any average teenager.
"You really are helpless Jack!", Daniel said, speeding up his pace, to match Teal'c's up front, both to hide the smile on his face at Sam's face and to escape any more comments Jack felt like sharing about his troubled statue.
"Incoming wormhole!", someone shouted over the communication system in the gate room. As SG1's signal appeared in three different computers, the iris retreated in to itself, allowing the number one team to arrive with out becoming splat against it.
Jack O'Neill and the rest of his team where spit out of the blue ooze in a matter of seconds after that, being greeted by a full dozen of trained guns pointed at them.
"Good to see you too!", the Colonel said, waving to the room in general.
"Welcome back SG1!", the General said from above "Briefing will be held in 30 minutes"
Exactly 38 minutes later the briefing was over, as SG1 had already explained the why of their delay on the planet, about the success of the mission and after the General had taken a good look on the SG1's linguist newest acquisition.
"Good work, SG1... you have the rest of the day off... see you all tomorrow at 900 hours. Dismissed!"
As soon as the words had left the General's mouth, Jack was out of the room, faster then a bullet, stopping the first sport's addicted he found.
"Who won?", the rest of the persons in the briefing could hear in the end of the corridor, in a desperate tone of voice.
The next morning, Jack stormed out of the elevator in the labs floor, intended in grabbing hold of one particular anthropologists head, taking off the cover, and pouring some sense in to it, so the guy would stop pulling those all nights after off world's missions.
He had left the younger man in his office the previous night, with the solemn promise that he would finish whatever very important thing that he was working on, and then would head home, for a couple hours of good sleep.
Needless to say that after no one picking up the phone in Daniel apartment at 4 am, Jack concluded that the other man had never left base, and knowing how he hated the slipping barracks (after the all, the first time the guy tries them, a dead stiff falls over him), bets were he was still in his office.
"Dr. Jackson, I swear to you, one of these days...", he started, storming in to the familiar room, only to find the lights all out and the place empty. "Well I'll be damn..." the Colonel muttered between his teeth.
After doing a quick check in the male dorms, just to be sure that his friend hadn't crashed there, and having find that place devoid of geek life forms too, Jack started to get worried. Grabbing hold of his office phone, he called topside, to the airman on duty at the exit checkpoint.
"Yes... this is Colonel O'Neill speaking... yeah, look, I need you to check the records from last night and see if Dr. Jackson checked out... I'll wait... he did?... what time?... ok. Thank you airman", O'Neill said, pushing the phone receiver down. "The little weasel... left almost right after me... but if he wasn't home, where the hell did Jackson spent the night?"
One hour later, SG1, minus Daniel Jackson, sat with General Hammond, once again, in the briefing room, waiting for the linguist to arrive, after been told that he had entered the mountain 10 minutes ago.
Entering like an hurricane, the most awaited member of SG1 arrived, took his seat in front of the Colonel, who, by the way, was trying to figure why the man in front of him was arriving this late, with a hair that look like it was trying to reach the sky, with big bags under sleepy eyes and a very unshaved face, given him the looks of someone fresh out of a trashcan... and why on earth was the man wearing a collared shirt under his jacket, in mid summer?
Something fishy was going on.
As soon as the briefing was over, having been decided that SG1 was going to stay on Earth for the rest of the week, so they could put some order on the paper work that was pilling in each of their desks, Jack was stalking the linguist, intended on find out what was going on. He cached up with him just in time to see the younger man scratching a big dark mark on his neck, the kind of soft bruise-like mark left by a way too 'intense' kiss!
"Well, well... been having some fun, Jackson?", Jack said, letting himself be seen behind the other man, making him almost jump in thin air.
"Jack!", Daniel startled, quickly covering his neck.
It was too late... like a tiger, Jack had found his prey and was now all over it!
"Something you feel like sharing, Dannyboy?", he asked, pointing to Daniel's, now covered, neck.
"Hum... not really... " the young man started, down casting his eyes and all of a sudden finding the floor of SGC really nice to look at. The perfect lines, red and green, side by side all the way around the cor...
"Danieeeeeeeeel....."
"I don't know Jack!" he said, the nervous of his voice making it rise a bit in volume, "... the thing is that I don't know....", he said, more softly.
"What do you mean you don't know... don't know what?", O'Neill asked, the smirk on his face being replaced by a concerned frown.
The younger man looked around, looking almost afraid that someone might be ears drooping on their talk.
"Not here... let's go to your office... it's nearer", he said, pulling his friend sleeve and driving him to his own office.
"So... what happened that you don't of?", he asked, the minute the door of his office was closed by the troubled anthropologist.
"... "
Daniel looked at Jack like a kid in the confessionary, not so willing to spill the beans any more.
"So?..." Jack asked, seeing that Daniel was taking his time to find the guts to say whatever he wanted to say.
Something really fishy was going on.
"I... oh, boy... how am I going to say this?...", the young man said, scratching his short hair, his hand descending unnoticed to the mark on his neck again.
"Try your mouth Jackson... and where the heck did you get that love mark?"
The guilty hand immediately drooped from the guilty mark, as Daniel raised his clear eyes to his friend, with a hint of reprove, sorrow in them and something else, Jack notice... shame?
"What happen Danny?", he asked, getting seriously worried.
"Just a couple of hours ago I... I woke up in a strange woman's bed!", Jackson said all of a sudden, his eyes glowing with deep emotion "that's what happen", he added in a whisper.
"You... in a... What!?" Jack almost yelled, jumping off his seat.
"You heard me... when I woke up this morning I was in this complete strange bed, all curled up with a woman I have never seen before in my live, completely naked!", Daniel said, not managing to peal his eyes off the floor, his face red beyond recognition.
"I have no recollection of what happen between us, although I can take a pretty good guess there... Jack, I don't remember a thing... damn! I don't even remember getting off base!", he said, jamming his fist on the table between the two man, resting his head on top of his crossed arms "Everything's a blank since last night in my office until this morning in... in... Damn!", he said, his voice muffled by the jacket fabric.
Jack blinked his eyes at him. This was not happening, right? This sort of things did not happen... well, unless you get really drunk and you... well, never mind....
"Had you been drinking Daniel?", Jack asked him in a paternal tone of voice.
"No"
Ok, didn't thing so too.
"Come on Danny... we're taking you to see Janet", Jack said, grabbing his arm.
"No!", the younger man said, snapping his arm away hard from Jack's grasp, "I wont go there, Jack... I can't", he whispered, pleading with his friend... urging him to do as he asked, as he needed.
"And why's that?", Jack asked, mentally kicking himself, as the answer presented itself, in bright colors, in front of his mind.
Although Daniel didn't answer him verbally, the answer was there too, in his expressive eyes. No, Jack, I wont go see Janet, 'cause she is just gonna call Mackenzie, just like last time everyone thought there was something wrong with my head...
No, Jack, I wont go there, 'cause they'll just pack me up to loony bin, and I'll just end up in that padded cell again...
And no, Jack, it hurt too much last time for me to trust any medic in this kind of matter, not after the way they treated me last time...
... so I wont!...... and please don't you make me....
"Ok, so we wont go there... yet. But Daniel, we do have to find out was is wrong with you... ok?", Jack tried softly, putting his hand over the shoulder of the man seated at the table.
"I know", came the whispered answer.
Jack, scratched his head, trying to came up with some sort of solution for their problem... one that didn't involved trips to infirmary!
"Come on", he finally said, getting off his seat across from Daniel and pulling the young man with him.
"Where?", the linguist asked, suspiciously.
"We're going to see Carter... we need some wild theories in here... she always has some up her sleeve!", the leader of SG1 said, with a grin on his face.
He would never admit it, not even under intense torture, but he really thought it was very handy to have someone as smart as his second in command around... Daniel to, but in this particular case, he had a hunch that Sam was the right man... woman for the job.
"I have no idea, Sir!", Sam said, after having heard Daniel's problem, in Jack's elaborate and unique version of it, anyway, since Daniel, too uncomfortable with the subject, and completely beat out by the previous night, had stayed in his office, trying to catch a nap on his couch.
"How can you have no idea... you always came up with something!", Jack said, raising from his seat in Sam's lab and starting to pace all around.
"Sorry, Sir... not this time... it could be anything, from an after effect of Machaello's bugs, to some crazy woman drugging him to...", the Major said, felling a knot tighten itself tight on her stomach, on the implications of that last theory.
"Why would a woman want to do that to him?", Jack asked without thinking, getting the answer from his 2IC raised eyebrow, the one that clearly said 'want me to spell it for you, or do you just settle for the drooling squad everywhere he goes?'
"Ok... forget I even asked... either way, he doesn't remember leaving SGC, so..."
"... that rules that theory out", Sam finished for him, thanking who ever was in charge Upstairs for that particular blessing.
Being raped by an ancient sex goddess was way more then enough for one life time... no more need to had more similar experiences to that one!
"Do you really think this may still have anything to do with those bugs from the crazy old gags?", Jack asked her, particular not so good images of his friend in white pajamas flashing through his eyes.
"I really can't tell, Sir... he wont go see Janet, will he?", the Major asked, already knowing the answer.
"Nope... not a chance in cold hell"
"Figured so"
"So, what do we do?"
"You're the Colonel, Colonel"
"Peachy!", Jack said, rolling his eyes towards the ceiling.
Having left the young woman with 'orders' to come up with something, Jack went to see how the other big brain of SG1 was doing.
Moments after he had gone, the phone on Sam's lab rang.
"Hello... yes, Sir, it's me... no, he's not here. I thought you had left Daniel in his office?... He's not there? Well, maybe he went to see Teal'c... oh, Teal'c's with you... ok... I'm on my way there!", she said, hanging up the phone.
Short after she was with the other two men on the empty anthropologist's lair.
The place look just the same as the last time she had been there, except for the new black statue on the top of his desk.
Sam look at the couch on the corner of the room... nope... no sleeping linguist there.
"Wasn't he gonna take a nap?"
"Yeah, that's what he told me... obvious he changed his mind!", the Colonel said, annoyed.
"Maybe he went for a walk?" she tried to guess.
"He's in none of the usual places... we already checked that..." Jack said, taking a seat on the black soft couch.
"DanielJackson should not be left alone if his mind is less then well", the big Jaffa stated the obvious.
"Ya think?", Jack snapped at him.
The raised eyebrow Teal'c directed to his commanding officer was diverted to Sam, as she tried again.
"Did you two check out side? Maybe he decided to take the nap home"
O'Neill look at her, looking, and probably feeling, pretty stupid, for not having remember that. And then raced for the phone.
"Colonel O'Neill here... yeah, again... look, I need you to check the records and see if Dr. Jackson left?... Yes, again... he did?... Just now? Thanks... What?... Ok!", the Colonel said, pushing the receiver down and turning to face his team.
"What?" Sam asked, seeing the puzzled look on her commanding officer face.
"Well, he did left base, just now... but the airman said he was acting a tidy bit strange... "
"Strange how?", she asked.
"He said it was better if we just saw the surveillance tape..." ,he said, half explaining, half way out the door, "... let's go!"
SG1, minus the star of the video they where seeing, was, for the lack of a better word, stunned! Mouths open wide, eyes big and round, speechless... well, Teal'c had his mouth shut, but his eyebrow was way past his tattoo!
If someone had tolled them, they would not have believed, but the image was pretty clear. They had just watch as Daniel Jackson, the shy, timid and hard to conquer Daniel Jackson, the object of desire of half of Janet's female staff ( the other half had given up and joined a convent), left base accompanied by Nora Shaggered, the most known 'man eater' in NORAD, the camera above easily catching the movement as his hand slide from her waist to her butt, causing the woman to giggle like crazy, obviously delighted with the action, getting even more excited when he leaned his head towards her hear, and, nibbling her lobe, whispered something that made the woman blush.
The airman in security shut the video off.
"That is Dr. Jackson, isn't it?", he asked, somewhat not believing the images himself.
The relation between Jackson and the female kind was something short of legendary on Cheyenne Mountain, and this sort of behavior was bit of a bite on that legend.
"I'm having my doubts too, airman", Jack answered him, his eyes still locked on the empty TV screen.
"This doesn't make any sense, Sir... Do you think she's the one he was talking about, from last night?", Sam asked, suppressing the nausea she felt on the thought of Daniel with that particular black sheep of the women kind.
She, as Daniel, was another of Cheyenne Mountain's legends... not a nice one, thou, since her record of getting her hands on the tastiest of SGC was getting pretty long, as it was the score she gave each one of them.
'I wonder how many points is she gonna give Daniel?', Sam thought to herself.
"I don't think he was talking about her... he said it was a woman he had never seen before, so that rules the Nora duddet out... she had hit on him before" , the Colonel said, absent minded.
That brought Sam out of her musings... so it' wasn't her... wait a sec... she had? Ga'ra have to ask Daniel about that.
As for the airman, forgot by the rest of the team, the news that Doc Jackson had became some sort of Don Juan of SGC, was making him almost want to rub his hands in contempt... gossip headquarters was gonna promote him over this one!
Suddenly, he realized the Colonel was talking to him.
"... are you listing to anything I'm saying here, airman?!", the officer's tone was already sharp and inpatient.
"No, Sir... I mean, Yes, Sir... sorry Sir!", the man snapped in attention.
"Again... did you see where they went?", Jack asked, clearly annoyed.
"Yes Sir...they headed for the parking lot direction, Sir!", the airman said to the retrieving backs and butts of SG1, as they had already started running in that direction.
"Well, his car still here... " Sam started " ... which means they must have taken hers... and that they can be anywhere by now!"
"We saw that Major... but thanks for sharing, anyway!... Wa'ra I wonna know is how the hell are we gonna prevent that what happen last night happens again... I mean, we all saw on that tape that Daniel wasn't exactly acting as himself on that tape, so we can take a good guess that he's not in much control of his body right now...".
Jack stopped himself, realizing what he had just said, shock reaching his eyes.
"You don't think he... Janet did check him for snake heads, didn't she? Yeah, she did... she always does... maybe it's a different alien sucker? ", Jack ventured, the thought alone making his hands brake in a cold sweat.
"It's a good guess as any, Sir... either way, we have to find a way to stop it!"
"I know we have, Major... remember, I was the one who saw the look on his face when he said he had awaken in a stranger's bed... trust me... he wasn't happy about it!", Jack said, the frustration of the situation passing clear to his voice.
"Damn it! I shouldn't have left him alone in his office to begin with... both times!", the Colonel hissed, the anger he was feeling find an escape route as he kicked the nearest car's tires.
"That's it, Sir!", Sam exclaimed, excited.
"That's it what, Major... kicking a tire?", Jack asked, totally lost.
"It appears that SamanthaCarter as arrived to a solution", Teal'c said.
Jack was about to explain something about stating the obvious to the alien friend, when Sam grabbed both of them and just dragged them to security after her.
On the way there, she explained the two puzzled men what she had discovered... or more like connected.
As the Colonel had said, before both disappearing acts from Daniel, he had been alone in is office, so...
"... whatever happen to him, happen there... and, there for, should show on the security tape of his office!", she finished as they arrived their destination, already on her way to get the needed footage, both from that morning, as from the previous night.
Sitting in front of the TV set, like before, they watched, this time, as the Colonel entered, with Daniel, in the office, talking to one another, like in a silent movie.
Then, Daniel moved tiredly to his couch, and, stretching his arms, made himself comfortable and ready to take the famous nap, just as Jack said something else and left, closing the lights and the door of the room as he did so.
For a long time, all was silent and dark on the security grabs they were seeing, but just as Sam was about to fast forward the tape, a green soft light started to glow on Daniel's desk, becoming stronger and stronger by the second, until it was clear to everyone that it was the 'Kama Sutra' statue that was shinning.
Almost immediately, they saw Daniel's form on the couch raise in the dark and walk to the door. Suddenly the lights were on, as they showed the linguist moving around his office, looking for something.
When he finally stopped, his hand was grasping a phone book. Opening it on a page near the end, Daniel sat near the phone and dialed someone inside the mountain, by the number of numbers, probably Nora.
Whatever their talk was, he seemed pleased by the result, as he hang out the phone and, smiling, passed a hand through his hair and left the room in a hurry. As he did so, the green light died.
"Well I'll be damn!", Jack muttered under his breath, as the video info from last night showed the exact same phenomena that they had watch before on the tape from that day.
"It's the hushy mushy statue!", he said, lining back on his seat.
The shock on his face was brother of the ones in everyone else faces.
"How can this be?", the Colonel asked.
"Well, Sir, obviously the statue is controlling Daniel in some way, transforming him in to this...", Sam said, looking for a right word to describe what they had saw.
"...gigolo?", the Colonel tried to help.
"Libidinous person, more likely, Sir"
"Yeah, whatever.... what can we do about it?"
"It would be wise to see this piece more carefully and try to determine in what way it works", Teal'c said calmly.
"Hum... right!", Sam said, shutting her mouth, as the big guy had already delivered what she was about to say.
Racing to the anthropologist office, they found it the same way they had left it a few minutes ago, spotting the guilty black statue on the table.
Sam went to it's side and looked at the statue from every possible angle, being very careful not to touch the piece itself.
"Sir, did you or Teal'c felt anything out of normal when you were here before?", the Major asked, afraid to find herself with another Hathor-like crisis, with all the men in base turning in to jumping hormones.
"Nope", the Colonel tranquilized her, " Did you felt any whish to jump someone when you here before, big guy?", Jack asked the confused about earth terms Jaffa, eyeing suspiciously the two lovers on the table.
The alien raised his right eyebrow, not quite grasping the concept of 'jumping on someone', but getting the idea.
"I did not felt anything out of the normal", Teal'c said, looking to the female Major, who had now carefully picked the statue up, and was shacking it, to see if she felt any internal mechanism.
"Is that wise, Major Carter?", he asked her.
"Yeah, I think so... this thing must be somehow 'tuned' in to Daniel, or something", she muttered, already lost on her mind, working on the problem in hands.
"Having any luck, Major?", O'Neill asked her, when he felt her poking over the strange piece was more than enough.
"Nothing yet, Sir... I don't see any energy source, no circuit, nothing... just play wood!", she breathed frustrated.
"Well, time is running short Carter... not that I'm trying to rush you, or anything... but keep in mind that somewhere across town, Daniel could be losing his pants this moment... and I'm talking literally here people!"
Sam went red over that one.
"I would need to x-ray it, scan, analyze it's constitution... and even then, there is no insurance that we would find how this thing works... or..."
"There's an or?", Jack asked her.
"There's an or"
"Is it quicker?"
"Yes"
"Can it work?"
"As much as any other plan", Sam said, not meeting her CO eyes.
" Do it!", he demanded, looking to his watch again.
The minute the order had left his mouth, Sam had grabbed the statue tight, held it above her head, and with a mighty shove, send it to the floor, where it broke in several pieces.
"That's it?", he asked, eyeing her amused.
"Hum... Yeah, basically Sir", the Major said, crimson already covering her chicks.
"Talk about scientific approach... now what?"
"Now... we wait", she said, making herself comfortable in a chair near the door.
Half an hour of total silence after, the phone on Daniel's desk screamed to life. Jack jumped to answer it.
"Yes... yes, this is Colonel O'Neill speaking... you have? Well, passe him through!...", he said, putting his left hand over the base of the phone receiver, whispering to rest of his team that it was Daniel, " Hey buddy, where are you?... You are? Really? How?... No shit... ok, just seat tight and relax, calvary it's on it's way!", the Colonel said, shutting the phone with a huge grin on his face.
"What? He is ok?", his second in command fired out the questions at light speed.
"Oh, yeah, he's fine... He's in jail!", Jack said, the laugh he was trying to hide finally bursting out.
"And that's funny?", Sam yelled, completely forgot of who she was talking to.
"I also fail to see the amusement is this situation DanielJackson is", Teal's said, sounding like he was ready to smash something hard.
"Oh yeah.... you bet it's funny...", Jack finally managed to articulate, over the tears that had came to his eyes, so hard was he laughing.
"...Turns out that your plan worked Major, and when the statue got smashed, whatever control it was having over Danny Boy, was cut off, sending his sex machine alter ego in to lala land... unfortunately, this happen a tidy bit on the last possible second, as Daniel was already all over our dear miss sluth, clothes all over her place... but, when his hormones got that sudden leash-on, and he realized where he was and what he was about to do, he backed off, all the way trying to explain a very pissed off woman what was going on... bottom line... she remained pissed, and to show him not to mess with her, she decided it was time for him to go... so, she kicked him out of her apartment... on hand in front and another in the back... literally!... Danny Boy was arrested for showing off... I mean... outrage against moral!", Jack finished, starting in to another laughing fit.
"Poor Daniel!", Sam said, trying to keep her face straight.
"Yeah... something like that... anyway, I got'ra go and bail space monkey out of jail... boy, does that feel funny to say!", the Colonel said, his laughs going with him as he left the office.
Two days later, Jack, Sam and even Teal'c had finally managed to convinced the very ashamed linguist to show his face in SGC again, mostly because they had said the General wasn't buying his story of 'stomach flu' any more.
What, of course, they forgot to mention, was that, while he was absent, Miss Nora had been planting some rather rash rumors about the anthropologist, things from saying that he had smelly feet, to saying that, for a tall guy, he really had a short.... sight!
Now, apart from all the looks that the younger member of SG1 was getting in the halls, the team was seated in front of the General, who, by the way, was not very happy after had been reported that SG1's paper work was still on their desks... undone.
"What have you people been doing all this time?", he asked in a menacing tone.
SG1's members looked from to another, their faces guilty as school kids busted jumping classes.
"Hum... trust us on this one, Sir... you would want to know!", Sam said, braking the silence.
"Try me!", Hammond said, his patient running really short.
Jack approach the table, looking like he was ready to give a big lecture, making a big fuss of crossing his hands on the table top. "Well... How to put this?... Ever seen Dr. Jinckle and Mr. Hyde, Sir?"