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Barrel of a Gun I

Twisted
by Meri Lomelindi


8:30 AM, February 18th, 1995
Hoover Building, X-Files Office

There was a neat square of open space on the impossibly cluttered desk, scrubbed clean with the paper towel that lay, wadded up, just beside it.

Scully allowed herself a languid smirk. When Mulder had returned to work after his ordeal in Alaska, his first act had been to buy her a chair. Still no desk, but then, he'd evidently cleared her a spot on his own last night. These little betrayals of his casual thoughtlessness never ceased to amuse her, even though later she'd end up bothering him about the desk again—it had become something of a running joke.

She was sitting in her chair—a sort of computer chair, plush and ebony, with oddly shaped armrests and wheels that squeaked obnoxiously when she shifted positions. The papers were in her lap; she couldn't bring herself to disturb the pristine quality that had overtaken her little corner of desk. It wasn't much of a surprise when the fashionably late Mulder shut the door with a slight click, just as she'd begun her reluctant review of the documents before her.

What did surprise her was the lack of a greeting. Mulder might not have been the type to give her a hello every time they met, but he always had something to say, some little quip or an excited preface to the case he was about to thrust upon her. There was only silence here, minus the shuffling of shoes against carpet as he made his way to the back of the desk and took a seat.

She didn't fail to notice the infinitesimal wince that flashed across his features, though he undoubtedly meant to hide it with downturned eyes and a smile that didn't quite reach them. His mouth was split, an angry red streak dividing the pouty lower lip into two sections, and the high panes of his forehead bore a superficial slash that was already beginning to scab. When he did glance up at his partner, his bloodshot gaze and the dark, baggy circles that rimmed it were revealed to her.

Unable to suppress a sigh, she wondered what had befallen him now. There wasn't time for a case, she thought, but then Mulder always had a knack for getting himself in trouble. He'd probably hit his head on a drawer, tried to call her when she'd been out with her mother, and then worried about it for the rest of the night. She had to ask, though. "Mulder, what in the world happened to you?"

Again, he cringed as he wriggled in his seat, but it was gone so quickly that she almost thought she'd imagined it. He paused before he spoke, and then his voice was hoarse, "I went running." Fiddling with his new alien-head paperweight, he refused to meet her eyes. Such peculiar behavior alerted her investigative instincts and they went into overdrive, cataloguing his every movement.

"And?" she prompted with an arched brow.

Guiltily, he admitted, "I fell." Then, not willing to stay on the subject, he inquired, "Anything new?"

It was her game now, and she was permitted another discreet smile as she answered, in a tone laden with mystery and intrigue, "Oh, yes. Something you've never seen before in your lifelong study of the paranormal, Mulder."

Surprisingly, he didn't perk up—the spark had dulled for the day, apparently. But he did manage to appear interested enough that she could deliver her response with dramatic flair. "Expense reports," and she was grinning wickedly as she handed the documents over to him. As he reluctantly accepted the sheaf of paper, she noticed that his hands were bruised, ugly blue splotches tracing the length of his fingers, and the cuffs of his shirt were rolled down as far as possible—odd, such extensive injuries on a running escapade. Who knew what Mulder could get into in his spare time, though? He might've been lying, and she wasn't going to be the one to nag him about it, not after having played mother and nurse to his pitiful, frostbitten victim less than a week ago.

They worked on the expense reports for what seemed like ages, though when she checked the clock, it'd only been two hours or so. To make matters worse, they were far from complete; Mulder kept fleeing to the bathroom every twenty minutes. Sure, avoiding reports like this was his specialty, but in the past he'd thought up more plausible, i.e. less blatant, excuses. Both agents were relieved when the phone rang at 10:30—at first. When it turned out to be Skinner's secretary informing them that they were, in no uncertain terms, to speedily announce their presence in his office, the relief was transformed into apprehension.

"He can't expect the reports yet," Mulder told Scully as they ambled down the hall, ignoring the curious stares that followed them. People were always watching them from a distance, gathering more fuel for their Mr. and Mrs. Spooky theories.

"No," she agreed, "it must be a case, though I don't know why he saw the need to call us to his office to present it."

The Assistant Director was an imposing fellow in spite of his egglike head and the way that light seemed to gleam off of it—or perhaps because of it. He was comfortable behind his desk, hands clasped, all hard edges and sharp angles; all cool composure and calm resignation to the task at hand, whatever it was. Walter Skinner rarely smiled. Still, he seemed to bear some sort of grudging respect for the agents who investigated the X-Files.

As expected, he was the epitome of a businesslike FBI Agent, a fact reflected in his gruff monotone—it almost rivaled Mulder's when he was in his prime. Wordlessly he gestured to the two chairs facing his desk and waited for them to take their seats. "Agents, I have a request for you." At their nods and expressions of unfeigned interest, he continued, "I realize that this is not your current venue, but Agent Mulder has extensive knowledge in this field, and his training might save several lives." She glanced at Mulder and was mildly shocked to note that his skin was flushed beneath the mask of civility, his eyes a bit too wide. Venue, her foot—they wanted him to profile someone, obviously.

Skinner hadn't deigned to comment on Mulder's physical state, but presently he narrowed his eyes and raked them over the form of his lanky inferior. "Are you well, Agent Mulder?"

"Fine, sir," Mulder murmured, his smile weak. "Just had a bit of an accident the other day."

That answer seemed to be acceptable, from Skinner's bemused grunt. "As you've probably figured out, the VCU is stumped on another case and they have discreetly requested your assistance." Blinking somewhat wearily, the first sign of weakness in his rigid exterior, he handed the file over to the two Agents. Scully thought, idly, that Assistant Directors probably got even less sleep than Mulder did on his good days. She hadn't seen Skinner take a day off, much less a vacation, since her first encounter with him.

A cursory overview of the case left Mulder with studiously knitted eyebrows and a hand that clenched and unclenched at random intervals, and it made her wonder—if his facade could show cracks this easily, what must hers look like now? She knew that she had yet to compartmentalize her emotions after returning from what Mulder termed her "abduction," and what if others could read her easily enough to see what raged beneath the surface of her icy demeanor? It couldn't be, could it.. ?

That disturbing thought fled from her mind as soon as he passed the folder to her. Peering inside with no small amount of trepidation, she was rewarded by a full-length view of a grisly crime scene, complete with a mutilated body and pools of blood. A woman, though it would have been difficult to tell if not for the length of her mahogany curls, now stained with red, and she'd been stripped of her clothing and then systematically decorated. Another picture, this one from a yearbook. She'd been drop dead gorgeous. The initial report surmised that she'd been raped and tortured over a period of three days—her family had reported her missing, not that it had done any good—and then killed by a shot to the head, execution style. There was no evidence of the unsub—no fluids, hair samples, or anything that might lead to his apprehension. Forensics reported that penetration had been accomplished with a foreign object, perhaps a knife or some type of stick.

Melissa Waters, Scully read, a chill shooting down her spine. 20 years of age, in her third year of college at the University of South Florida. Ruffling through the rest of the pages as her throat grew dry, parched, and her stomach did tiny somersaults, she found a catalogue of similar photos. All fairly young women, all of the same general age group, all with the same hair color, but with differing backgrounds. One girl had been a waitress. It was obviously the work of a serial killer, and not the most creative one—God only knew how many people had followed this M.O. before—but certainly one of the most bloody. Sometimes a serial killer would mutilate after the victim's demise, but in this case there was no such luck. Mulder had barely skimmed the reports before giving the entire folder to her, and she thought he should—no, it was his eidetic memory at work. He knew exactly what had happened to those women.

The unsub's profile, as hypothesized by the Tampa PD and the VCU, was included among the papers, but Skinner interrupted her before she could study it. "By all accounts, given the specificity of the profile, the unsub should have been identified, if not brought into custody. But no one in the entire county matches the profile, and no one even remotely matching the unsub's supposed description has been seen near the crime scenes. It must be assumed that the profile is somehow inaccurate." Skinner frowned, and his mouth was drawn into a tight little line of disapproval. It might have been for the profilers, the serial killer himself, or even them; Scully couldn't be sure. But she wasn't confused about that—it was the whole notion that made no sense.

"Sir," Scully piped up, "May I ask why we have been called in so late in the investigation? There have been seven murders, if the information here is correct, and the profile was written almost a month ago. Violent Crimes must have realized that it was wrong soon after that—why wait this long to approach Agent Mulder?"

Frown deepening, Skinner bowed his head slightly and considered the now barren surface of his desk. Finally he said, with a sigh, "Senator Gardner's daughter has been kindapped in a manner that would suggest the unsub as the most conceivable culprit. According to the killer's M.O., there are only 72 hours left in which to locate her while she is still alive." If it weren't for propriety, he'd probably have rolled his eyes in disgust. As it was, Scully felt resentment welling up inside of her at the thought of such "special" attention. One corpse was the same as another; each deserved equal justice and protection under the law, especially since they weren't there to see it. Fairness was so essential.

Mulder was uncharacterically silent; he'd gotten a case of the shakes, she thought, but then it was gone, just like the wincing, and she toyed with the notion that she was projecting her emotions about the case onto him. He'd been dealing with these sort of murders for years, after all. He looked up, evidently realizing that both Scully and Skinner were staring at him, awaiting a response. It seemed like he was off in space for a moment, and then he murmured, "I'll do the profile if Agent Scully assists me—and I will need to view the crime scenes and the general area firsthand."

Surprisingly, the ghost of a smile appeared on the Assistant Director's tanned face, grim as it was. "That was a given, Agent Mulder," he said. "You and Agent Scully are booked on the noon flight to the Tampa International Airport, where you will be greeted by the head detective. Local officers have been instructed to comply with your wishes, as long as they are within reason." He produced the tickets from a folder that Scully hadn't noticed and offered them to her. She had no choice but to take them, uneasily. There was a feeling of wrongness in the pit of her stomach, but then, Scully only trusted empirical evidence, not the workings of her persnickety digestive system.

Blandly, she said, "Reason seems to be a relative term with Agent Mulder, sir."

There was nothing in the way of a reply, just another bemused half-smile, and soon they were being ushered out of the building and onto a plane, the case file tucked carefully in Scully's briefcase. Mulder made a beeline for the bathroom before the seat belt sign was even close to being turned off, complaining of airsickness. He certainly looked ill; green, almost, so Scully resigned herself to the task of becoming familiar with the unsub in glorious profiler detail. Joy to the world.

xx

12:20 PM, February 18th, 1995
Airplane en route to Tampa

Bile was bubbling up in his throat, gorge ascending with rapid certainty as he lunged sporadically from side to side, bruised torso connecting with the airplane seats in brief jolts of agony that the Maximum Strength Tylenol just couldn't control. He pawed his way through the startled flight attendants, but it was no wonder that they let him pass; he knew his face must have looked positively grey, like the aliens he was so fond of pursuing. Despite his efforts, he barely reached the lavatory in time.

dirty

Fuck, thought Mulder as he spewed vomit into the freshly cleaned toilet in the claustrophobic little room that shook with the force of the air pressure, I shouldn't have eaten breakfast.

But it wasn't the breakfast that caused his body to heave violently and retrieve the contents of his stomach, nor was it the air turbulence. It was the entirely unwelcome set of thoughts that kept dancing through his mind like a slide show or a broken record that someone had forgotten to take off of the spindle.

hurtpain no, stop please—no don't, give you money, no

The queasiness had been growing steadily—all morning, really, ever since the meeting with Skinner, and then suddenly it vanished unbelievably and left him kneeling on the cold floor, panting, his energy spent, face splattered, with the familiar taste of vomit coating the inside of his mouth. He was staring into the toilet, considering with dread the idea that he'd have to actually use it for its intended purpose sometime soon, and then thinking that if he kept vomiting up everything he consumed, it wouldn't be a problem.

Mulder sat there for about five minutes, listening to the buzz of the engines in the background and the murmurs in his mind.

shh, be quiet you'll like it—it's so painless if you shut up and I won't have to hurt you—you want it, you know you do

There was someone banging on the door—not frantically, but enough to let him know that other people had needs. It prompted him to action. Systemically, thoughtlessly, he yanked paper towel after paper towel out of the dispenser. The room had that peculiar rotten smell; he was used to it, but he doubted that the other passengers would appreciate the decor. Then again, he could barely smell anything the way his nose was stuffed up, and soon he was splashing water over his face liberally, surveying the damage. Too pale—dark circles, bloodshot eyes. Bruises, cuts. He looked like hell, and it was being handed to him in a handbasket.

so loose, you've been selling out—whore—should have saved yourself for me—gotta punish you now

Scully was undoubtedly wondering if he was okay, and she might try to examine him if he kept this up. The people waiting in line for the lavatory shot him odd, covert looks; his shirt was wet where he'd had to scrub it clean. Scully's gaze was similar as he took his seat beside her, stiffly, hoping his discomfort didn't show on his face. He thought she'd seen it at the office that morning—at the very least, she hadn't bought his running story. That concern was flashing in her eyes, veiled, the kind that told him he should be several dozen miles away before she tried to broach the subject. She didn't say anything, just tilted her head, looking at him disconcertingly, and shoved the folder into his arms. Her eyes were lighter than he'd remembered, more unfathomable against the backdrop of her fiery hair, like frost in the summer. Maybe the case disturbed her as well.

better hope you can handle what i got boy

Glancing down at the crime scene photos, he swallowed. Blood was everywhere. It dripped, but not in the photos; it dripped onto his bathroom floor. Clothes ruined, soaked in it. His best—his only—leather jacket. Red and black now, a set of checkers. Jeans torn and battered and useless.

what's your name—what do i call you—pretty boy

Blood coursed down his cheeks and mingled with tears.

foxy little thing—you don't like that? foxy it is

The girl in the yearbook photo was smiling, ear to ear, dark tresses flowing around her face like a raven crown. Bold nose, full lips. Samantha, or a close facsimile thereof.

do you know what i want, foxy—you got to do it

No—he looked again. A name. Melissa.

it'll be good for you too, baby

Melissa was Scully's sister. Fuck.

suck me off

It was hours before he mustered the strength of will to discuss the case, and by then they were already disembarking.

xx

7:21 PM, February 18th, 1995
Hillsborough River State Park

Scully's primitive streak wanted to curse like a sailor.

Less than an hour after their arrival came the call—there was another victim. An old one, this time; Mulder had told her on the trip to the newest crime scene, in a hushed whisper, that he thought this one had been the first kill ever.

It was certainly old enough, judging from the decay that festered on the half-buried corpse. The nails had fallen off, and very little remained of the black hair. Body tissues were gelling as she watched, though it wasn't apparent to the naked eye. The face was still recognizable. Elfin. Delicate, pretty.

"Who is it?" she breathed.

They were standing as close as possible to the corpse, which was cordoned off along with the rest of the crime scene. The portly Tampa PD officer who was hovering over them wouldn't allow her to get anywhere near the body, despite her identification and tone of voice. Bastard. The sun had set long ago, and even with the aid of a flashlight, she couldn't get close enough to gather any information about the deceased.

"There was no identification on the body," offered the man. He sounded grainy, tired, and when she turned to look at him the sweat was rolling off of his pudgy cheeks in waves. It was so disgusting that she had to shift her eyes away from him. He could help her, though, if he'd stop being such a rule-bound prick. With a mighty effort, Scully called her powers of persuasion into existence. She coated her words, sugary sweet. "Officer, what is your name?" Odd that he hadn't introduced himself in the beginning, but then it had been a hectic drive.

He blinked, confused, and his eyes narrowed a bit. "Gordon Wells, Miss Scully," he said, but he sounded uncertain.

"Agent Scully," she corrected automatically and then wished she hadn't. More gently, she asked, "Officer Wells, do you think you could find me a bottle of water—at the gift shop, maybe, or the camping grounds? I'm very," she sighed and closed her eyes briefly for emphasis, "thirsty. I'm just not used to this much heat in the middle of winter.."

Gordon Wells' beady eyes lit up—he was the old fashioned type, she thought. Wouldn't deny a lady's request. "Of course, ma'am," he burbled, and she resisted the urge to correct him as he went into a tirade on the temperatures in Florida and the dangers of heat exhaustion. Finally he waddled off into the distance and out of the crime scene while Mulder and Scully averted their eyes. He smelled of smoke and mayonnaise, she thought, her nose wrinkling up involuntarily. Gordo meant fat in Spanish.

"Clever," was Mulder's comment as she rolled up her sleeves and slipped the surgical gloves on, eliciting a vicious glare from the coroner who stood to the side. He was only waiting out of deference to the senator's missing daughter and the X-Files Agents' status on the case, and he looked like he'd much rather be taking over the investigation himself. Mulder sounded hoarse again.

She murmured, low enough not to attract the attention of the forensic team that waited on the sidelines, "Are you sure you're not coming down with something? If you'd let me take your—"

He interrupted her. "No, Scully, I'm fine. Just tell me what you see, please. This is the important one." She wanted to memorize the look on his face but the pallid, waxen cast of his complexion was too ominous to contemplate without going against his wishes, so she began to poke and prod the corpse instead.

"You want clinical jargon?" she asked, peering into the eye sockets to find the eyes sunken in and disintegrating, filmy white. There was a hole in her head.

"No. Just make it fast."

She shrugged. "Okay. Subject is young, under 30, maybe. I would estimate time of death—oh—a little over three weeks ago, from the state of the nails and tissues. Can't be sure. White female. No clothing, no identification. What appears to be random designs and X's carved on the skin. Injuries and tearing of the, ah," she had to pause as her throat caught, "genital area which are indicative of sexual assault. Gunshot wound to the head presumably the cause of death." She peered at the head cautiously, drawing the strands of leaf-infested hair away. "Shot from a distance. Subject was probably dragged here after death. Wasn't discovered until now because this is a relatively unpopular trail and the body was dumped several dozen feet away from it, in the underbrush—Mulder? Where are you going?"

He was stalking away on unsteady feet, barely avoiding the evidence canisters and bushes, ignoring the concerned or perhaps annoyed onlookers. She doubted they'd ever seen an FBI Agent in such a condition. "Getting Tylenol," he called over his shoulder, "from the car. Be right back." Gravelly voice, and she thought he might have been coughing, but he was vanishing into the darkness of the trail and she only caught one more glimpse of him as he signed out of the crime scene.

If he had a headache, thought Scully, exasperated, the least he could do was tell me. I've got better medication.

xx

7:50 PM, February 18th, 1995
Hillsborough River State Parking Lot

He thought he was going to keel over and die before he got to the parking lot, and he wasn't even sick to his stomach this time. It was—oh, god, the stench. He could see how she'd been violated, could hear the killer's voice in his mind telling her that she'd enjoy it. The eyes were sunken, but he could see them staring out at him, lifeless, accusing.

sweet jesus, i knew you were good—now it's time

The car was a welcome sight, dark blue, outlined in the dim lamplight. A beacon.

don't struggle, make it easy—i've got—

The keys were whipped out of Mulder's pocket and he fumbled with the door, finally forcing it open and collapsing bonelessly into the driver's seat with a moan as agony lanced through his ass.

if that's the way you want it foxy—i can do you bare

The Tylenol was in his briefcase, but as he reached for it there was a pervasive darkness swirling about him, teasing the edges of his vision. Bleakness beckoned to him; nothingness called with its enticingly open arms. He succumbed to its embrace.

It didn't even register that the car had started.

xx

8:05 PM, February 18th, 1995
Hillsborough River State Park

She'd just completed her cursory examination of the body and disposed of the dirt-caked medical gloves when Officer Wells arrived, bearing a bottle of Zephyrhills Spring Water. His paunch jiggled with each movement and his jowls wiggled in a groteque parody of speech—she couldn't quite make out what he was saying, but she noticed that he was running. The blue uniform was soaked with sweat and something that was reminiscent of grease, she saw as he came closer. Something in his expression made her shiver.

"Miss Scully!" he shouted unnecessarily, skidding to a rather awkward halt. The bottle was shoved at her without ceremony. "Have you seen Agent Mulder?" Damn it, why was it always Agent Mulder and Miss Scully, or Agent Mulder and ma'am? And what about Agent Mulder and his lovely lady friend..

Scully ran her eyes along the absence of a horizon, scanning the silhouettes of the pine trees against the moon. Stars in the sky and a lazily running river; it seemed too absurdly peaceful a spot to contain a brutalized corpse. Nature was cruel. "He went to get some aspirin," she replied, without alacrity. Come to think of it, Mulder had been gone for quite a while.

"He's gone," Wells told her, panic tinging his voice as it shot up in pitch, "and so is the car."

Dead calm, for a moment, and then Scully was smoothing her damp hair back and rearranging her suit, trenchcoat long discarded in order to avoid roasting in the humidity. Ditching was one of Mulder's less than favorable character traits. "Did he say anything to anyone—anything at all?"

Gordon Wells blanched; he'd probably figured that she would know Mulder's whereabouts. "Not that I know of, ma'am."

"Agent Scully," she informed him, ice and sharpness, "or Doctor Scully, whichever you prefer. You and I are going up to the entrance to question the warden." She snatched her purse from the wary guard at the edge of the evidence tape and began punching in the speed-dial on her cell phone. If Mulder's had run out of batteries again, there was going to be hell to pay.

"Agent Scully," the nervous officer blubbered dutifully, "I noticed that Agent Mulder looked real sick—do you think he—maybe he's delirious or something.."

"I certainly hope not," replied Scully, cool as a cucumber. "It would be your county's car that Agent Mulder wrecked."

Agent Mulder was not answering his cell phone.

xx

Tell me what you think of it so far...

Continued in Barrel of a Gun II: Numb

lomelindi@hushmail.com

Date: January 2000
Fandom: X-Files
Contact: lomelindi@hushmail.com, feedback givers adored.
Spoilers: anything up to End Game
Rating: NC-17 for violence, naughty language, rape
Class: Story/Angst
Keywords: Mulder angst, rape, slash, Mulder/Scully friendship. Brief Mulder/Krycek.
Summary: A brutalized Mulder tries to conceal his dirty laundry, but a case that strikes an unwelcome chord in him makes the job difficult. It's up to Scully to wheedle the truth out of him—but can she deal with it? Can he ever go back to work without having a mental breakdown?
Warnings: I'll be up front. There is no romance here, except in little flashbacks, and that part is Mulder/Krycek. No, Krycek is not the rapist. I'd never do that to my precious ratbaby. MSR is nonexistent—shippers, flee now or forever hold your peace. Yes, there is tons of angst. If you want a happy, stable Mulder, you're not going to get him. This Mulder is traumatized, and he suffers from several mental illnesses as a result of his rape and the events of his childhood. In typical Mulder style, he's not going to want to be a good boy and go get healed. This Scully is a nice, relatively sane Scully, and she's not an evil bitch from hell. There's going to be a lot of bonding in here—platonic bonding, of course. If you hate Scully, this is not going to please you. If you think relationships between two men are horrible and evil, this is going to disgust you. If you think that I'm condeming homosexuality because I've written a story about one man raping another, don't read this, even though I'm not—I'm not straight, after all. I can't tell you to enjoy this, because if you did you'd be one sick fuck.. but maybe you'll identify with it, or learn something about how nasty criminals are. Mhmm. If I have any writing skill whatsoever, that is..
Disclaimer: Duh—I don't own the X-Files, 1013 and Chris Carter and Fox and the Consortium do, obviously. They could prosecute me if they gave a damn, but I haven't anything of value for them to acquire. Cept my dog. And I love my dog, so please be nice.
NO X-FILES CHARACTERS WERE KILLED IN THE WRITING OF THIS FANFIC. Send appropriate replies of gratitude.
Note: Titles taken from "Barrel of a Gun" by Depeche Mode. I won't include the entire set of lyrics until the very end of the series, because this isn't songfic.

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