When he woke up again, Jim knew that he was in the Enterprise’s sickbay. Nothing physically hurt anymore, but there was a yawning abyss inside of him. And Jim didn’t need anyone to tell him to know what had happened.
He’d lost the baby.
He opened his eyes and found Bones sitting beside him, clutching his hand. His best friend looked tired and sad. Once he realised that Jim was awake, he squeezed his hand.
“I’m so very sorry Jim.”
Jim closed his eyes and a tear slid down the side of his face.
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He woke up again, not really sure when he’d fallen asleep. When he opened his eyes, he found Spock sitting beside his bed this time. He wasn’t holding Jim’s hand though, because both his hands were cradling something far more precious. Jim’s heart thudded painfully in his chest.
A perfectly bundled baby was held so very tenderly by his husband and Jim’s breath caught and tears welled up immediately. He sat up “ propped by the pillows “ ignoring the groggy feeling. Spock raised his gaze to meet his and Jim could see the grief there. He wondered how they were ever going to make it through this. If anyone truly could. If anyone wanted to.
Spock stood and carefully placed the baby into his arms. Jim cradled the baby gently and opened the cloth. He stared for a moment. Such perfection lost. How cruel could fate be. They were so close. He traced the high cheekbones softly and fingered the pointy ears. The baby’s skin was smooth and pale and cold. Far too cold. Jim’s breath hitched. He counted fingers and toes and found ten of each. Perfect. He gently rested the pads of his fingers against forevermore closed eyelids and wondered.
“They were blue.” Spock whispered brokenly.
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