He woke feeling rested. When he looked around himself, though, he was disturbed to realize he wasn't in his apartment. Frowning he started to reach for the bedding to pull it off when the door opened.
A handsome female entered. She was tall, her fur a tawny color, brown eyes, and with a fall of dark brown hair. She was wearing a pastel green pantsuit with a name tag on the shirt.
"Hello, Commander. Glad to see you awake and aware again. I'm Dr. Norson. How are you feeling?" She asked him in a pleasant tenor voice.
He blinked at her for a moment. "Where am I and how did I get here?" He asked ignoring her question for the moment.
Not taking offense at his brusque manner she answered easily, "You are at the Norson Mental Health Clinic and you were brought here two days ago. Ms. Briggs was visiting you when you began to withdraw from reality. She called me to help you."
"She had no right!" He said angrily, yanking the blankets away preparing to get off the bed.
Sheila Norson stepped forward and pressed a paw against his chest to restrain him. "Please Commander. I would highly recommend that you hear me out completely before you try to march out of here. It's for your sake not mine." She said firmly.
Though he could easily shove her out of the way. It would be a rude and unforgivable thing to do. He wasn't unreasonable even if he was angry at the circumstances. He relaxed but didn't lay back in bed and waited for her explanation.
Relieved that he was being reasonable, she explained how he came to be there and what his condition had been. "So you see, Commander, Ms. Briggs saved your sanity. You would have continued to retreat until there was no way to make you come back. Now I understand what happened to you and what you face in the future. I can't change what you've agreed to and though I certainly don't like it, I will attempt to help you accept what you can't change and make the inevitable attentions by this tiger more easier for you to bear." She said quietly.
His face burned with humiliation that more Kats were aware of what had happened to him. His mouth tightened into a bitter line.
She touched him gently on the arm. "Commander, we've endeavored to protect your privacy as much as possible. Only Ms. Briggs and I know the true circumstances surrounding your hospitalization. Ms. Briggs has already given a press release stating that you suffered some damage during your kidnaping and are receiving treatment for it but not where. No one outside and inside this clinic except for the few that handle your care, are aware of who you are. Everything I can do to protect you I have done. I want you to focus completely on helping yourself during your therapy sessions. I will be your therapist and if you're up to it we can start immediately." She looked at him patiently awaiting his decision.
He relaxed suddenly and sighed. He stared at his paws as he thought about what she'd said. It seems he owed Callie a debt of gratitude for coming to his aid when he wasn't even aware he was in trouble. This Dr. Norson seemed certain she could help him cope with his changed circumstances. He certainly hoped so. He raised his head and looked at her.
"Yes, thank you! I'd like to get back to work as soon as I can. I've already lost enough time when I was kidnaped. No telling what that fool of a second in command has done to my files by now." He said resignedly.
"Good! I think we can get you back to work real soon but I won't know for certain until you and I talk so let's do that now. If you will follow me to my office, we'll get started." She smiled warmly at him.
He found slippers at the bedside and his robe hanging nearby. She waited politely as he put these on then led the way out of the room and down a warmly decorated hall toward an elevator. Stepping inside she pressed a button for the second floor that's when he realized he was on the top floor of a three story building. They stepped out onto another warmly decorated floor and headed to a door a short distance from the elevator.
She opened the door and gestured him in. Her office was decorated in different hues of blue with sea scenes on the wall. It was soothing to him. There were a couple of comfortable chairs before a big oak desk covered with several items of a personal nature as well the inevitable record files, notepads and other office debris laying on it. She gestured to a chair and took the one behind her desk. Reaching for a pad and pen she relaxed back and eyed him quietly.
"Let's go over what had happened to you. I want you to tell me what emotions were going through you during the time you were kidnaped." She said quietly.
He swallowed and tried to order his thoughts. He could tell this was not going to be pleasant.
Two weeks later...
Feral sat at his desk trying to unravel the mess Steele had made of it. Giving him a hand was Felina.
Felina was grateful to Ms. Briggs for getting her uncle help. She still didn't know what had happened during his kidnaping but she had known it was bad enough to derail her uncle's usually strong mind. Now he was seemingly back to normal though she would occasionally catch a haunted look in his eyes.
He still wouldn't tell his officers what had happened and forced the file to be closed. Mayor Manx didn't question it either just relieved that Feral was once more back at work.
Callie was relieved as well. Feral looked much better but she knew he was still uneasy about the reappearance of Shakil Kamau. They both knew it was only a matter of time before the tiger blew into town and claimed his 'rights' to Feral's body. It kept the Commander on edge despite the therapy he was getting. There was nothing that could be done about that, unfortunately. Callie could only wait till afterwards to pick up the pieces and help Feral carry on.
Time past and Feral could almost forget about the silver and black tiger. Omegas stirred up trouble for weeks on end, trashing the city and making reams of paperwork for Feral and his enforcers. It was near the end of one such miserable week that the tiger reappeared.
Feral sighed tirededly as he dragged himself out of his hummer and walked into the lobby of his apartment building late at night.
"Working late again, sir? You sure look beat. Sorry to hear those danged omegas are giving you and the city soo much trouble." His building security guard said politely.
"Yeah me too. Don't know why they feel the need to all come out of the woodwork at the same time." Feral grumbled as he reached the elevators.
"Try and get some sleep sir, you could really use it." The guard said solicitously.
"Thanks, I'll certainly try." Feral grunted as the doors closed.
Yawning he stepped out of the elevator and walked down the hall to his apartment. Unlocking it he flipped the light near the door on as he stepped in and turned to relock it. He hung his coat up and locked his weapon up in a hidden safe in his coat closet. He stretched and removed his tie as he headed for the kitchen. He wanted a quick sandwich and drink then a shower and bed.
Flicking the light on in the kitchen he froze and his heart leaped in his chest. Sitting in the dark at his kitchen table was Shakil. He couldn't bring himself to move closer so stood in the door and stared.
"Hello, my beauty. Surprised to see me I see. Please come in and sit. I've taken the liberty to bring you something hot to eat. I guessed you hadn't the opportunity to do so with your very hectic day and late departure from the office." The tiger said smoothly gesturing for Feral to sit across from him.
Swallowing hard and shaking inside, Feral moved slowly into his kitchen and sat down. "How did you get in here?" He asked the first thing that came to his mind.
"I merely learned who your neighbors were and said I was visiting one of them for professional reasons. I was let in and simply used a lock pick on your door. No one saw me besides the guard and my own guards are waiting for me in my car behind your building." He answered with a smile.
"That's breaking and entering." Feral said flatly.
"I don't think of it that way. I'm here to see my mate. Perfectly legal." Shakil said plainly. "Please my beauty, eat. I know you must be hungry and you need to keep your strength up." He urged pushing a covered dish toward Feral.
Feral didn't look at it. His appetite had been lost when he'd seen the tiger. "No thank you. I'm not hungry." He said flatly.
Shakil eyed his mate for long minutes. He looked in better condition than when Shakil had last seen him though there was a haunted quality in his eyes. He understood that better than he thought Feral realized because he saw the same look in his own eyes. Perhaps this is what Ulysses needed to know to help him accept the situation they were both in.
Relaxing back in his seat, he sighed. "Ulysses we are both in the same bad situation. I'm truly sorry for what I must do but if you'll listen perhaps you will understand better why I must do this.
My family had been pressing me hard to produce an heir. They would not accept my very real problems of being with a female. They care not that I simply cannot perform with a she-kat. They only want an heir. I've been punished for my proclivity and given some truly distasteful jobs all in the name of the future. I rebelled but it did me no good. I was always found and punished to the point of death." Shakil paused and stared at Ulysses with bitterness in his eyes.
"You have no idea what it's like to be constantly hounded and ridiculed for being what I am. I was desperate to find a male that would meet my needs but also give me what I so badly desired...companionship...love. Too many fear my family, no lover dared stay long with me fearing their lives. I have been forced to accept fleeting moments of tenderness from paid whores or be celibate. I've done both. Then when I heard about you...Gods...I thought I would finally find what I'd been searching for. You were beautiful and spirited and everything I'd hoped and dreamed of except I couldn't court you and make you mine by capturing your heart, I had to settle for taking your body by force. It still hurts to have done that and I know you must hate and fear me for it. But you must understand something...something I know you aren't aware of..." Shakil leaned closer, his manner urgent and intense.
"I was not the only one wanting you. A male such as yourself is rare and extremely valuable to many in the world I live in which is exactly the reason you were kidnaped. I had learned upon my return to my clan that your former owner had planned to auction you off after another month. Many prospective owners were furious and angry when I succeeded in taking you from right under their noses. There is nothing stopping them from learning where you live since your previous owner could be made to tell them. I've done my best to keep you safe by calling in every favor I could to put a protective ring around your city allowing you to live your life freely." He told Feral earnestly.
"So you raped and made me accept your agreement to protect me?" Feral said incredulously.
"I know that sounds bad when you say it like that but yes that is exactly what I did. You are still not safe until you bear a kit of mine. When that happens the clan will give you full protection and no one will try to take you again until then you are in constant danger." Shakil said solemnly.
Feral was shocked and could only gape at Shakil. Shaking with anger he finally said, "But the price I pay is the loss of my right to have a family of my own choosing with a female bearing my kittens. Instead I have to bear kittens for you with no choice in the matter."
"Yes, I know and I'm truly sorry for that. Each of us has had dreams that have been destroyed by this cruel twist of fate. Please try and accept this. It can't be changed no matter how much we both may want it." Shakil pleaded softly. "I can't bear the thought of you being taken from me and harmed."
Choking on anger and sorrow, Feral studied his mate that circumstances had forced upon him and saw the same anger and sorrow shining from those green-gold eyes. It helped only a little to know his unhappiness was shared. Normally, he would never accept another's statement without investigating their claims first but in this case he and Callie had checked and were appalled to find he was on the most wanted list of every slaver outside Megakat City borders so he knew Shakil was telling the truth.
"My therapist says the same. She told me that she wasn't happy that this had happened to me but that she would help me accept what I couldn't change." He finally said bitterly.
"She sounds like a very intelligent person. Perhaps I should see her as well. I have many unresolved emotions that eat away at my feelings of self worth. Even having you does not ease my guilt and shame. I want your body soo badly but at the same time I want your heart freely given and I know I may never have it." Shakil said equally bitter and unhappy.
Rubbing his temples trying to staff off an insipid headache Feral sighed resignedly. Things were actually better than he'd originally thought. Oh, he was still trapped by the choice he'd made but it was eased by the very real anguish of his rapist. Shakil was as much a victim as he was. What a pair they made.
"I may never be able to see you as anything but the one who raped me but there is no telling what the future will bring to change that. Right now, I agree that you should see my therapist. I completely withdrew after you left me and, if not for a friend, you wouldn't be talking to me now." Feral told Shakil grimly.
The tiger gaped at him in horror. "No! By the Gods! I am so sorry for causing so much mental anguish. I am truly grateful to your friend and this therapist. I would not have bothered to continue on if I'd lost you. You are my only hope for some kind of happiness however fleeting and messed up it might be." Shakil moaned reaching out and touching Ulysses' tentatively.
Feral could feel the tension and anguish driving the tiger. He thought, surprising himself, that they might be able to overcome their initial meeting eventually. It was apparent that they had found common ground between them...hurt...loneliness...anger and destroyed dreams. There was pain enough between them, time to heal what could be healed and move on.
He still didn't have much of an appetite but knew he needed to eat and get some much needed sleep. He reluctantly pulled the covered dish to himself. He found a barely warm roasted tuna sandwich. He eyed it in surprise.
"You been checking me out or did you just get this by chance?" Feral asked.
"Checked you out, of course. I needed to know who you are. I take it you are pleased?" The tiger asked, smiling wanly at him.
"I'm still not that hungry but, yeah, I'm pleased. It's my favorite." Feral said shaking his head then picked up the sandwich and ate at least half of it and got a glass of milk to wash it down. He put the rest of the sandwich in the fridge and left the kitchen with Shakil trailing after him.
Moving to the bathroom he made to close the door but paused and looked back at Shakil. "It's not a very big shower but you are welcome if you want to wash up before bed. I'm assuming, of course, that that is your intention." Feral said matter-of-factly.
A smile of relief lit the tiger's face when he answered, "I'd like that very much and, yes, I intend to sleep with you."
Feral just nodded and headed into the bathroom.