August 21, 2001
******
Jesse woke, enraptured that it had not been a dream. He snuggled in his lover’s muscular arms for another moment before making a necessary trip to the bathroom. Upon his return, he smiled into Steve’s open eyes. “There’s somebody sitting on my bladder.” he explained as he climbed back into bed.
Steve folded him in. “After she’s born and you heal, I plan to make it up to you for last night.” he said.
“Last night was beautiful, Steve! I wouldn’t change a thing.”
“It doesn’t bother you that you couldn’t...”
“I slept right here in your arms all night long. What could be better than that?” Jesse kissed him.
“That was pretty wonderful, all right.” Steve glanced toward the clock. “I need to get ready for work.”
“Yeah, me, too. Five more minutes.”
Steve was easily convinced. “Maybe even ten.” He kissed him again and nuzzled against his neck. “Maybe I’ll even be a little late.”
*******
Dr. Homer Penrose glanced up as Jesse entered his office. “What’s wrong?” he asked, immediately scanning his belly.
“Nothing.” Jesse assured him quickly. He realized how much the male pregnancy project meant to the man, and did not want to cause him undue alarm. “I’m fine. I just came to talk to you about some things.”
The look of relief on the handsome but unsmiling face was marked. “Sit down. Tell me what’s on your mind.”
Jesse plopped down in the indicated chair and chewed his lip nervously. The man behind the desk gazed on him with impassive blue eyes. “Um, I sort of hoped I could confide in you about something...that has developed in my life.”
“You’re required to confide in me, Jesse. Until this child is born, your body belongs to me and I want to know everything that you do with it. Now, tell me what the hell you’re talking about.”
The man’s directness was daunting. Jesse shivered. “I’m...um...in love.” he said softly.
The instant disapproval made him cringe. Penrose’s voice was harsh. “In *love*? Did you say you’re in *love*?”
Jesse stared at him, wishing he could take back the words, but not ashamed of his feelings. “Yeah. That’s what I said.”
“With whom?” The tone was parental.
“With...” Clearing his throat, he uttered the name. “Steve.”
Penrose’s eyes rolled in rancor. “Goddamn it, Jesse! Steve Sloan? You’re fucking that cop? Have you lost your mind? Don’t you realize how dangerous he is for you right now?”
Jesse’s forehead wrinkled in confusion. “Dangerous? How?”
“No sex. I told you plainly at the beginning. No sex with women, and especially no sex with men. It’s too dangerous for the baby. That’s why you’re physically incapable of having an orgasm.”
“I thought it was because... Steve didn’t...didn’t...”
“No sex of any kind. What did you do with him?”
“Nothing. I just...”
“What?”
“I... gave him a blow job.”
“Did he touch you in any way?”
“No.”
“Jesse, I don’t even want him to put a finger in you. He could ruin everything we’ve worked so hard for. He could damage you and the baby.”
“I’ll make sure he knows.”
Penrose shook his head. “Not good enough. I want you to stay away from him, do you hear me?”
“What? I can’t stay away from him! I love him.”
“Your little infatuation is probably no more than your hormones going deranged because your body is changed. Staying away from him is the only way to be safe.”
“But I’m going to move in with him. He asked me to, and I’m planning to move this weekend.”
“No. I mean it, Jesse. You will *not* move in with him. How can I be sure you won’t do something to damage my child? You can’t guarantee he won’t ravish you and injure the womb.”
“But...” Jesse suddenly felt empty. “He’ll be so hurt...”
“I’m sure the man will still be available after the child is born. In the meantime, since you’re bent on moving, I want you to pack up your belongings and move in with me. I want you where I can keep an eye on you. I do not want anything or anyone to fuck this up. You made a commitment to me when you agreed to do this. I expect you to hold up your end of the bargain. Do you understand?”
Jesse’s lower lip trembled. “Move in with you?”
“Yes, until December.”
“What about Steve?”
“I don’t give a damn about ‘Steve’! All I care about is this experiment and the results. You’re an adult, Jesse. I don’t want to hear whining and I don’t want an argument. Just do as I say.”
Jesse stood and walked toward the door. He paused with his hand on the knob. “Dr. Penrose, I know you couldn’t possibly understand my need for love right now, but it’s important to me. I need Steve and his dad in my life. You can’t take them away from me at this crucial time. Please don’t tell me to stay away from them.”
Penrose got up from his chair and advanced upon him. “Love is fleeting, Jesse. Love is a fairy, flitting around in your foolish little heart, never lighting long enough to let you get a good look at what it really is. You don’t need it. You don’t know *what* you need, but I do. If you require human contact to maintain your sense of human worth, I can assist you when I have the time to spare.”
“You’re offering to be my lover in Steve’s place?” Jesse stared at him in disbelief.
“Yes. I may be far beyond humans in every other guise, but my physical senses remain. I have functioning lips, arms and genitalia. If you need a love affair, then have it with me. Since you’re so proficient in applying fellatio, you may perform it on me later this evening. I know your limitations and the dangers, so you will be safe with me.”
Jesse stood for several long seconds before he realized his mouth was open but he had not spoken a word. Snapping his teeth together quickly, he looked away. “Please let me go talk to Steve about this.”
“I would rather you didn’t.”
“But...”
“I will accompany you to your apartment and help you get your clothes. We can move you today.”
“Doctor...”
“No arguments. Remember the contract.”
“But Steve is important!”
“As important as the baby?”
Jesse pondered only a second before his answer. “Yes! *More* important!”
“If he’s that important to you, he’s worth waiting for.”
“But he won’t understand if I don’t explain it to him.”
“Explain it to him later. If you go to him now, he’ll try to convince you to abandon the project. Think about it, Jesse. The child doesn’t belong to him. Do you really think he won’t resent it? Do you really think he loves you as much as you love him? Are you that important to *him*? You’re just fooling yourself.”
A tear slid down his cheek. “Please let me talk to him!”
“Sorry, Jesse. No. In fact, since you’re so infatuated with him, I’m afraid I’m going to have to take matters into my own hands. You’re forbidden to leave without me.”
“You can’t do that!” Jesse tried to back away from him, but Penrose grabbed him by the arms and pulled him back to the desk. “Please, Dr. Penrose, let me go!” he cried.
A large hand covered his mouth to silence him, and a gruff voice threatened in his ear. “Shut up! I don’t want to hurt you, Jesse, but I will if I have to!”
Jesse whimpered, but did not struggle.
“Good. Now, we’re going out to the car together, and you’re going to behave yourself. You’re going to walk quietly along beside me and get in the car. We’re going to your apartment, get your clothes and take them to my place. No more whining, no more crying.”
Frightened, Jesse nodded.
“Good. Let’s go.” The tall man led the way out the door.
******
Amanda yawned as she came from the morgue, shedding gloves and gown as she walked. “Hi Steve, what’s up?” she greeted.
“I’m looking for Jesse.” Steve answered. “Have you seen him?”
“I haven’t seen him since this morning when he went to see Dr. Penrose.” She glanced up at him pensively. “I’ll page him and see if he’s in the hospital.”
“Why did he go see Penrose?”
“He said he had some things to talk to him about.”
“Amanda,” Steve took her arm and led her down the hall to Mark Sloan’s office. “Tell me what you think about Penrose.”
“What I think?” She cleared her throat and glanced evasively away. “In what regard?”
They entered the office without knocking and faced Mark, who reading from his computer and sipping coffee. He pushed his eyeglasses to the tip of his nose and looked over them to smile at his son. “What’s going on, Steve?”
“Where’s Jesse?” Steve asked without prelude.
“I don’t know.” Mark looked clueless. “I saw him at about eight this morning. I asked him if he had seen *you* since you didn’t come home last night, and he told me that you spent the night at his place. I got called away and didn’t get to ask any more questions. Was he okay last night?”
“Yes, he was fine. I just wanted to spend some time with him.”
Amanda nodded suspiciously. “He was acting really strange this morning. He was anxious to talk to Penrose.”
“Why did he want to talk to Penrose?” Mark asked.
Steve grunted in discomfort. “I think he felt the need to talk to him about me.”
“Why, son?”
Dropping into a red leather chair, Steve sighed. “Dad, we need to talk, but not here, and not now. Later. First, I want to find Jesse.”
Mark and Amanda exchanged a troubled glance before the elderly doctor began reluctantly. “Steve, we’ve got something to tell you about Penrose. Or at least, we *think* it’s about Penrose.”
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