Leonard realized that he had only himself to blame, but that did not make the fact that everyone on the ship now knew he was pregnant any easier to swallow. Of course, someone had happened to be walking nearby when he'd made that comment to Spock. Why should things start going right in his life now? He did wonder how much longer it would be before the story made it off the ship, but, as of this moment, the whole tale appeared to be contained. So far, no one had come up to him to speak directly about the situation, for which Leonard was grateful. He wasn't really ready to start hearing the opinions of others, supportive or otherwise. He had caught some of the looks being sent his way. He knew not all opinions were friendly.
He was also aware of the nature of the scuttlebutt. It wasn't that hard for the crew to work out that the Abrbonians had something to do with the unique state Leonard had found himself in, so mostly the rumours had focused on the child itself. According to Scotty, there was a betting pool regarding the child's DNA contributors and it covered everything from a McCoy clone to multiple donors, none of which were the doctor. Under normal circumstances, Scotty would be the likely culprit behind the pool, but as the engineer denied it before Leonard even had a chance to ask, it was highly unlikely that it was the case this time. He did admit to being offered a chance to place a bet, but, given what he knew about how it had all come about, Scotty found himself less than comfortable doing so and gave it a miss.
Leonard didn't need to ask his friend how he came to know so much; tracking the flow of information was really quite easy. Spock was in the know and he would have given enough information to Nyota, whom he was indebted to after the whole shit storm incident, that she could piece the remainder of the story together. She and Scotty had been spending a significant amount of time in each other's company, life resettling into the pattern that had existed before the Abrbonian visit to Enterprise. Leonard wasn't surprised that Nyota had shared the story, not that Leonard wouldn't have eventually told the two of them anyway. He considered them both good friends and would have taken their inquiries as concern for his well-being, not the need to spread more gossip.
Despite being the focus of gossip, thanks, once again, to the departed Abrbonians, Leonard found himself sitting in a fairly busy mess hall. True to her word, M'Potbope had corrected some of the issues that had arisen from the protections put in place when preparing for the pregnancy. These protections hadn't been intended to completely turn the man off of food, even though that had been the final effect. Leonard's diet was still more restrictive than would normally be necessary for someone in his condition, but he could handle being around foods he couldn't eat, something that wasn't the case before. And, while he still had some trouble keeping what he ate down, thanks to the Hyperemesis Gravidarum, he had stopped losing weight.
On this particular day, Leonard found himself joined at the table by Pavel Chekov and Hikaru Sulu. He suspected they had drawn guard duty for the evening meal, as he had yet to on his own since the news had broken. What he hadn't worked out yet was whether they were guarding him from nosy crew members or protecting those same nosy individuals from his temper. It was a toss-up, especially as he suspected that Spock was behind the idea. Pavel was discussing a dream or something of that nature with Hikaru. Leonard wasn't really listening as he munched on the sandwich he had ordered with his soup. It was too much of a pleasure to be able to enjoy a simple meal for him to take the time to track the conversations around him as well.
"Hey, doctor," Hikaru said, earning the lieutenant an arched eyebrow. Normally, at least off duty, the man addressed Leonard by his name not his title. "You have a degree in psychology, right?"
"I do," Leonard confirmed between bites.
"So, you'd probably be able to explain why Pavel keeps having this dream?" Hikaru asked.
Leonard rolled his eyes at the request, but he put his sandwich down and spoke more directly to the two men. "Not exactly my speciality, dream analysis, but go ahead and tell me and I'll give it a shot."
Pavel shrugged and clarified the situation. "It's not one of those symbolic dreams you hear people talking about when they are hunting for meaning, or anything like that. It's just this scene that plays out, like a memory, except I'm not recalling the facts correctly in my dreams. I mean, I know what happened in reality..."
Leonard had to admit he was a bit intrigued by what the ensign was saying. Settling back in his chair and crossing his arms over his chest, he prompted the young man to continue with a slight nod. "Probably just as well as I don't have a couch to offer as part of the counselling, since this is well out of my usual area of counselling, but maybe I can help you understand why you are remembering it differently in your dreams."
The next words out of Pavel's mouth definitely captured Leonard's full attention.
"It's actually about the day that Vulcan got destroyed," Pavel explained. "I was the one on the transporter. I had gone there because I knew how to get it locked on to Hikaru and the Captain -"
"Something I am eternally grateful for," Hikaru said to his friend as he gave him a friendly pat on the upper arm. "And I am sure the doctor is glad you were there too."
Leonard gave a nod of agreement. Jim, hell Earth, might not be here now if Pavel hadn't known how to get the transporter locked on the two men.
Pavel continued as though he hadn't been interrupted. "Not that the Captain was the Captain at the time, but that isn't the part that I am remembering incorrectly. If it were, I think I'd know why." Pavel blushed slightly as he spoke these last words.
Leonard realized then what part it was that Pavel was getting wrong in his dreams, or, more accurately, what part he was remembering correctly. After all, the Abrbonians only changed the memories of everyone, not the actual events. He remembered that pivotal piece of information coming up when Ge'Ha and Te'Bora had made the offer. No actual change in the timeline had occurred. They were not going to alter the events that happened, just ensure that people didn't remember them. Leonard's mind starting racing, trying to come up with plausible reasons for the dreams, as there was no way he could tell the truth.
"It's when I am returning Commander Spock from the planet, along with the Vulcan elders, that the facts start to change," Pavel informed the doctor after the ensign collected his thoughts. Leonard groaned internally for being right as he listened to the younger man. "Instead of getting everyone up safely, I failed to save the Commander's mother. And it never changes. It is always her, not one of the others. It seems odd that it never varies."
Leonard sat there quietly, his mind still trying to formulate an answer that would make sense to the younger man, while not blurting out that that was exactly what had happened that day.
"So any ideas?" Hikaru prompted when Leonard continued to simply stare at the two men.
"I have to admit I'm interested in hearing the answer myself," Nyota chipped in, causing Leonard to turn and glare at his friend when she sat down next to him. He was really getting tired of people standing behind him, listening into conversations. Nyota quickly understood the reason behind the less than friendly greeting. "Sorry. I happened to catch the part about the destruction of Vulcan and blatantly eavesdropped after that."
"Of course you did." Leonard shook his head. Turning back to Pavel and Hikaru, he started on the only theory he could come up with on the spot. "Reminding you once again that this is not my speciality, it is possible that the reason you always fail to save Spock's mother is because she's human -"
"And that would be significant, why?" Nyota asked.
"If you'd actually let me finish, you'd find out. If you don't like what I have to say then you can criticise it afterward. Now, as I was saying," Leonard stated, giving Nyota a pointed look, "it could be that Spock's mother, as the only human in the group, represents what would have been the loss of Earth, if Spock and Jim had failed. The mind doesn't always deal with your fears in a logical manner. Earth could have been lost in exactly the same manner as Vulcan if any in a series of events had turned out differently, including your actions, Pavel."
Nyota pursed her lips as she gave a little nod. "It is a plausible theory. If there had been more humans then he could substitute one for Amanda now and then, but, as it is, his brain only has her to work with. I could see that. It is a combination of the planet that was lost and the one that could have been represented in that group."
Leonard smirked and said, with only a hint of sarcasm, "I am so glad that you approve."
Nyota gave him a soft punch to the arm for the comment and then a slight inclination of the head towards Pavel, who was a little lost, despite what the doctor had said.
"But why would it start happening now?" The youngest at the table had to ask. "It was months ago. Shouldn't it have been happening back then?"
"Not necessarily," Leonard answered with a shrug. "It's not that unusual to experience delayed reactions to traumatic events. Sometimes, the subconscious can take years to deal with things, so several months isn't really that long."
"When is your subconscious going to start letting you deal with your recent traumatic events?" Nyota asked teasingly.
"My conscious mind has to deal with them every day," Leonard retorted. "My subconscious has no reason to be butting in."
"I'm going with when the kid is fully grown," Hikaru said. "He won't have time before then, anyway."
"There is truth in that," Pavel agreed with a vigorous nod. "It is not easy to be a single parent. Then you must add the fact that he takes on responsibility for so many of the crew, at levels that go well beyond the duty of the Chief Medical Officer. His subconscious has no time at all, even in his dreams, to deal with things."
"You guys better not give up your day jobs," Leonard said with a snort. "You really aren't funny at all."
"I don't know," Nyota stated with a smile. "I'm amused."
"Yes, but you used to spend your free time with a Vulcan," Leonard pointed out. "That can significantly lower your entertainment threshold as I doubt any of them sit around cracking any kind of jokes at all."
Nyota snickered. "You spent quite a bit of time with him yourself, so maybe it's influenced what you think is funny as well."
"Yes, but when we're with Jim, who sometimes thinks everything is funny, I'm the one who actually balances out the humour scale," Leonard explained. "And if that's not a sad fact, I don't know what is."
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