Black stallions and nosebleeds
~past~
Robin Hood. How he despised that name! The Sheriff of Nottingham wanted nothing more than to never hear that name again and for whom it belonged to vanish of the face of the earth. Sadly the man had the ability to vanish, when it suited him. He somehow seemed impossible to catch, he was like a fox, knowing every hiding place in the forest and the village. His men had cornered him so many times, still the Robin of the Hood had found a way out in the last second, leaving his cousin's men stunned. How could that intoxicated blood be the same as ran through the veins of a pure man like him, the Sheriff?
Today messengers had arrived with news of Robin and his gang ambushing one of the taxes-carts. It was the fifth one in the last six months and the Sheriff was furious. How could this pest work against him, his blood?! And his men, so afraid to step into the "cursed" wood. The only curses left by the boundaries of that wood, HIS wood if he might add, would be some childish booby traps anyone with a average brain would figure his way by.
He had played with the thought of bringing Severus with him for a ride into the woods. The look on Robin's face if he saw the two together! But he knew his mother wouldn't allow that, after all no one outside this castle should never know about the secret guest, and he knew that the risk of Severus trying something funny when on horseback was to great. Still it would have been great, though.
In six and a half months time he would become a father. The thought of the actual baby meant nothing to him, it was the power that followed this fatherhood that was tempting. He was arranging for a family portrait to be painted. He'd ordered the best painter in the county to drop what he was doing and come to paint the future family of the Nottingham Manor. The fact that the poor man was a farmer and had no one to look after the farm when he was away but his eight months pregnant wife was none of his concern. The only thing that mattered to him was that the painter would arrive some time later today and that he would start his work early tomorrow morning. His fair Marion had thanked yes to be portrayed and would be the first to be added to the canvas. She believed it was a portrait of only her. Little did she know she would end up with a husband, baby and a mother-in-law by the time the portrait would be finished. Flashing images of his twin-image on horseback, his cloak like a black cloud chasing him. The sheriff shook his head clean and headed for the dining hall.
*-*
There was a magic atmosphere over the woods tonight. Severus was watching it from his window in the tower and longed to set foot on soft grass, to feel the velvet night's embrace on his weak body and mind. Nor the witch or her son had needed his teaching services today and he felt restless. By the door he had placed a chair as some poor excuse for a lock to avoid unexpected guests. He had enough problems with sleeping as it was, he didn't need to wake up in the middle of the night imagining there were intruders lurking around in the shadows. He was starting to loose weight. He ate less and less as the queasiness didn't seem to let go. It was worst in the mornings. Then it settled during the day so he managed to squeeze down some dinner. Curse the food and the water around here! And the orange juice he'd started to drink instead of the water didn't seem to help either. Could it be something else than what he ate and drank? This day he had tried to move the little cauldron he'd brought with him from Hogwarts and ended up with a nasty surprise. He couldn't lift it!
Damn, how he longed for the safety of a wand in the palm of his hand! He even missed teaching Potions back in the present. To give poor Neville Longbottom the lecture of the day, to treat him the way he wished he could treat the Sheriff. But in this classroom the roles were reversed. It was Severus who were the weak and defenseless one and the Sheriff who had all the power. Severus actually felt some sympathy towards Neville at the moment..
His mind started wandering toward the glimpse he had caught of Marion the other day. She was in truth a beautiful woman, and the connection he'd felt.. if it was ever so brief made Severus' mind wander by her from time to time. It wasn't love, by all means, but then again he probably wouldn't know what love was if it hit him in the face. He was thirty-seven years old and he hadn't had one single love affair in his whole miserable life! How could he? He'd been recruited as a death eater eighteen years old and up to that point no girl had ever turned her head after him. So came the trial, the stamp as being an outcast freak and the salvation. Albus Dumbledore had given Severus the parental love he'd never experienced with his real parents, he'd showed him the light and given him a home and a job- at Hogwarts. To receive so much help and trust from a man can change your life. And Severus saw his flaws and as a sacrifice for the man he considered his one and only father Severus went back to Voldemort, but this time as a spy for his new father. Albus knew nothing of this, at first. Severus reckoned his new father wouldn't have allowed his son risking his life no matter how great the cause he was fighting. Severus could never forget the image of Dumbledore catching him as he snook back into Hogwarts after a summoning with the dark lord. Severus had believed the headmaster was weeping because he assumed Severus had betrayed him and worked for Voldemort all along. He was mistaking. Albus cried of shame because he knew Severus did this for him and that it would cause him a future of nightmares haunting him. Severus was young, he had no idea how things can come back and hunt you later no matter how great the intentions were in the past.
*-*
Marion arrived early, just as she'd promised so that the painter would have the best possible light to work in. The peasant was surprisingly strict on that matter and he would paint her in no other place than in the garden, because of the light conditions. The autumn light was a hasty affair and it was important to start as soon as the sun was at it's brightest. The sheriff was in a good mood today so he let the poor man rant a little and wave his brush importantly in his face. After all this had to be a perfect painting, it would be the portrait of his future success as a king! He smiled to himself as the fair virgin, dressed all in white for the occasion- like a bride, followed the man with the canvas.
So, what to do in the mean time. He pondered for a while and came to think of his twin in the tower. An idea formed in his head. Now, he knew Marion would stay in the garden, and that would mean all other areas of the castle would be safe. Safe to bring Severus Snape along for a stroll.
*-*
Up in the tower Severus was in a poor condition. After all the mornings he'd managed to withhold from vomiting, this day his stomach betrayed him. He was kneeling by the side of his desk. Hot, foul tasting acid wrenched its way up his throat and down on the floor. A thin coat of cold sweat pierced its way through his brow as cramp after cramp raged his body. Severus was sure there could be nothing worse than this, he was wrong. Because in the door a well known face entered with a big grin on his face and seemed to be on his way to announce something, up until the point he discovered the shivering black lump down on the floor.
"Eeewwww!! What are you doing?!" he squealed and looked at the small lake of half digested food. Severus looked up for a bit, humiliation marking his eyes before he lowered his head again as a new cramp shook his innards. The Sheriff stood for a little while tripping with his feet as if he was unsure of what to do and then he ran out to the hallway while screaming for one of the servants to come clean up the mess.
Severus dried his face with the sleeve of his jacket. He didn't care of the stain it would leave, he just needed to get up on his feet again before the Sheriff came back. The room started spinning as he slowly got to his feet. Footsteps in the hallway, he would be here in a second. Severus tried to shake his head free of the dizziness, but there was no way he could manage to stay on his feet so he slipped down on the cold stone-floor again just as the Sheriff returned with a servants girl at his heal.
"Clean up the mess!" The girl went to work immediately and Severus discovered it was the same girl that had brought him his breakfast some days ago. At least she didn't wear any new marks of this man's terrible urges.
"Let me help you up from there!" The voice was quite nice and pleasant for a change, and Severus let the man help him get to his feet without any protests. Although he wouldn't mind the Sheriff not touching his stomach like that. It was upset enough as it was.. He was just a defenseless heap of sick man and he let the man he normally wouldn't let anywhere near him lead him to the bed and even undress him. He was to blunt to hear the alarm bells going off in his ears. He was to numb to feel the needy hands fumbling all over him as they were undressing him. He was sick, it was probably just a bad dream. And as groping fingers caressed his body Severus drifted away into slumber, into peace.
*-*
It was late afternoon when he awoke. He wasn't surprised to feel a shadow resting over his face. Probably the sheriff. But it wasn't the sheriff sitting by his bedside this time. It was the very young girl who'd had the displeasure of cleaning up his mess earlier in the morning. She had a mournful __expression on her face and she almost jumped in her chair as Severus opened his eyes.
"Oh, it's you? I thought it was.." he didn't need to finish the sentence. He saw it on her she knew exactly who he was aiming to.
"Master said I should sit with you until you recovered," she more or less whispered: "And then I should take you to him." She stood up and fidgeted nervously.
"Alright, I'll just." It suddenly dawned to Severus that he was completely naked.
"Who undressed me, was it you??" He draped the carpet around his body and awkwardly fumbled out of bed desperately searching some clothes, any clothes. Holy shit, he had to have been near a coma not to remember anyone undressing him!
"No," came the answer flatly and nervous: "it was Master." Severus instantly felt sick in every nerve of his body. As if it wasn't enough that the man had to catch him in a vulnerable moment, he had undressed him!! He had seen Severus' naked body! The bed looked far more tempting than the prospect of spending time with the man who had groped him earlier this morning.
He still got dressed somehow, like a near death robot. He ordered the girl quite harshly to turn around while he dragged his clothes on and she seemed only too happy to concede. How appalling was he??? Really. Now he even got upset because a half to death frightened girl seemed to get grossed out by looking at him. His mood-swings reached a horrible peak as he followed the girl to his destination. He was worried out of his mind. What if she brought him directly to the Sheriff's private chambers or something like that?!?
To his great relief she brought him nowhere near any bedrooms. To his great surprise he followed her to a place he'd never been before during his stay at Nottingham castle, the stables. The smell of horses and horse-manure hit him in the face as he entered the dimly lit passage that led into the Sheriff's stables. Not a pleasant experience for his turning stomach for the moment, but the chance to maybe get a glimpse of the outdoors was more than enough to start Severus' heart racing with excitement. A curious thing actually. He had never felt attracted to horses or any other animals for that sake. But now.. he couldn't wait. He felt giddy as a first year at Hogwarts!
"Ah, Severus! I see you have recovered well!" The Sheriff ducked into view as Severus entered the very heart of the stable, the many rows of paddocks. Each and every one of them contained horses of different kinds. As usual the man now standing in front of Severus looked like he'd just won a costume-party. Although Severus had to admit the man had some taste, mainly in the choice of color he couldn't stop thinking how stupid he looked. The servant girl disappeared like a flickering shadow the second her Master appeared and Severus wished he could follow her..
"Come, I want to show you something. I was going to this morning, but I couldn't bring you down here when you were sick, could I?" The Sheriff made a face to state that that would be the most ludicrous thing in the world to do, and then his eyes wandered down Severus body. Severus felt his stomach wrench violently and had to lower his gaze.
He hesitantly followed the man down the row of horses. He wished the trip would end up somewhere outside. If only for a minute, so he could smell some fresh air, and maybe even get a glimpse of the setting sun. The Sheriff stopped by one of the paddocks, and thankfully he didn't notice Severus' wishful gaze down towards the exit.
"This," the man announced proudly as he opened the paddock carefully: "is Shadow. A truly beautiful beast isn't he?" Severus stepped forward to have a look. Inside the paddock a magnificent black stallion was tied. It seemed to try to get as far away from the Sheriff as possible. A nervous neigh told Severus that the servant girl who'd just escorted him down here wasn't the only one who'd experienced the wrath of the "Master".
"It's the best horse I've bought in years," the Sheriff continued as his eyes fixed on the stamping horse: "but it's damn near impossible to train. I believe one of my stable-boys broke his neck trying to break him in. That's when I decided to train him my self." The pride in his voice was in odd contrast to the hate reflecting in the black stallion's eyes. Severus saw the markings of a whip near its mule.
"One day, you'll gonna see who's master!" he said to the horse and smiled grimly: "And one fine day you and I'll catch our selves a fox." The fox he was referring to was Robin Hood, but Severus felt pretty sure that Shadow never would be part of that capture. He saw too much of him self in those black eyes and knew there was no way that man would ever be allowed on top of this horses back. He suddenly realized the oddity of the whole aspect. Here he stood, beside a man who could have been his identical twin and a horse- and he felt more related to the horse! Suddenly the stallion reared up, neighing terrifyingly as it tore against the ropes tying it. The Sheriff reacted with pure rage.
"Are you defying me, is that it?!" he yelled and reached for a whip hanging on a hook on the side of the paddock. "I'm the Master, do you hear me! I AM!" The sound of the whip whooshing through the air made Severus turn away in disgust. He felt dizzy again, he wanted to get away from this sickening display, he didn't want to hear the mad shouting of his mirror image and he most definitely didn't want to hear the sound of the whip tearing into flesh or the screams of a defenseless horse. All he could do was to stagger a few steps away from the scene and keep from throwing up the rest of his intestines. He was trapped in this hell and no one came to rescue him, why? Why hadn't Albus come to help him? Why was he alone here, trapped and fading to but a shadow of his old self? Was he abandoned? Had something bad happened in the present? Why hadn't Albus at least contacted him, WHY?!?! Behind him an evil laughter rose to the ceiling as a howl of pain made all of the horses in the stable start to neigh nervously and turn around in their paddocks. The world started spinning around Severus. The smell of horse manure suddenly was all too intense and the sounds around him made him feel so small and helpless. He wanted to run away and hide. Severus Snape, thirty seven years old, known as the fearless bat who ate first years for lunch back at Hogwarts was so terrified he wanted to run and hide! There was no lack of courage in the man's heart. But now he saw himself helpless and weak as a child, his emotions flying everywhere making his mind grow weaker too. He hated this new him, he hated the Sheriff and the old witch keeping him here.
The stairs seemed endless afterwards. And to have the horse-beater dashing beside him with a handsome grin on his face while Severus was panting his lungs out didn't make things much better. How grand if he would collapse on the top of the stand and have a heart attack, it was the only thing missing now..
"Maybe one day I'll take you out riding with me," the man beside him said as he stopped to wait for Severus who was starting to fall back behind him. Severus raised one brow as he imagined himself hobbling along on a horse. He'd never ridden in his life and preferred to keep it that way. A wild thought about a great escape bubbled to the surface of his mind but he rejected the thought quickly. He was no match to the Sheriff when it came to the skills of riding a horse. He'd be better off biding his time here, hoping for someone to rescue him..
*-*
The following days Severus was busy as a teacher. The witch was eager to learn about astronomy and the Sheriff wasn't interested in learning at all, but showed up anyway. The straight eight hours of standing made their mark on Severus' features, but he never let any of his pupils know just how worn out he really was. It was one of these days, well into his second hour with the spoiled brat, more commonly known as the Sheriff, the nosebleeds began. Severus was lecturing the man by the desk about trading between countries when the Sheriff got an odd look on his face. He was staring on Severus' face, like hypnotized, and then Severus felt it. Some sort of liquid was on its way out of his nose and a second later a drop of blood dripped down on his jacket.
The Sheriff got to his feet, apparently transfixed by the red fluid that now was streaming out Severus' nose. Severus feverishly grabbed a handkerchief and started wiping his face with it, more and more panicked as his student closed in on him
"Let me do that!" A tone of awe in his voice, still with that weird __expression on his face. He took the now bloodstained cloth out of Severus' hesitant hands and started wiping his nose, carefully and almost friendly.
"Tilt you head backwards a little my dear, "he said and nudged Severus' chin. Did that man just call him "dear"?!!?? Severus squirmed a little, but the nudge got firmer and he did as he was told. What was going on? He had never had a nosebleed as long as he could remember, and certainly not like this. The blood had started leaking by it self, like it had a will of its own. And now this man had a hold on him once again. He wanted nothing more than to give this man a lesson, to throw him across the room to go slamming into the brick wall for touching him when he didn't want him to. And to think that this filthy being had undressed him, seen his naked body. and lords knows what else..
"There, it seems to have stopped now," the Sheriff let Severus tilt his head back again and take control over the hankie. He felt nauseous when he noticed one of the Sheriff's finger covered in his own blood, and he felt even more disgusted when the man held up his hand studying it.
"It's red," he mumbled: "just like mine.. Like we were.. brothers." And then he licked the blood-covered finger. Severus only half succeeded in holding back the moan of horror threatening to escape his throat. The Sheriff closed his eyes for a moment, like a Noble- man savoring a fine vine. He licked his lips slowly and sighed as he opened his eyes again. For no apparent reason Severus thought of a line he'd once uttered in the presence of one of his students: That was the exact feeling lingering in his brain now. He had thought that he finally had figured the Sheriff out, found out how to keep him at bay and harmless, and now something like this- totally unexpected happened making the man dangerous again. It dawned to Severus that what ever he would do to keep safe, the Sheriff never would stop to amaze him, no matter what he did- he wouldn't be safe. As he opened his eyes a smile slowly crept onto his face like a lazy spider.
"Exquisite!" Severus had to bite his lip not to scream at the insanity. Three months and he was still alive, still somewhat sane, but to see this face, that smile to smell the fresh sweat that reminded him of a distinct feeling, lust. He was wondering if this was the right time to crawl together and weep like a little frightened girl but decided no. Besides he hadn't shed a tear since he was a small boy and intended to keep it that way..
"I'm tired." The words escaped his mouth before he'd even thought them. The other man's gaze pierced him like needles as he studied him like a lab rat.
"Tired? But we have two more hours!" The tone in his voice changed into a childish mock. Severus wiped his forehead where tiny drops of nervousness appeared in the form of sweat. The old all to well known Potions Master- temper started to boil somewhere inside his mind. He was sick and tired with handling this man in front of him like he was a bomb ready to set off. He wanted to show him who the real Master was, that Severus followed no orders but his own. He almost started laughing of himself. If he didn't follow any orders by his own, why was he still here? Why hadn't he clicked his heals and returned home? If he was his own master, why was he walking around on eggshells around this man? The only thing he was now was a weak, defenseless muggle with nothing to say in any matter. He was the servant obeying his master's tiniest wink. He sighed and raised his gaze again, looking at the man who still was smiling like a coyote looking at a meat- bone.
"I'm tired, but if you go sit down now we'll continue," Severus said flatly.
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