Jim stood at the sleeping man's bedside, unwilling to wake him. He pulled up a chair and settled himself, picking up Blair's hand and rubbing his thumb in gentle circles over it.
The figure in the bed stirred, opening heavy lids to reveal clouded blue eyes. "Jim?"
"Got it in one," Jim answered. "How are you feeling today?"
"Dunno," came the muttered response. "Still don't feel much of anything."
"They've got you on those really good drugs," Jim quipped, trying to sound light-hearted.
"Where's Laurene?" he asked, more alert than he'd been the day before.
"I'm not allowed to bring her, Sweetheart. You know that," Jim reminded him.
"I want to see her."
"Yeah, I know." This was the conversation Jim had so dreaded earlier that morning. "You'll get to see her soon."
"When, Jim? I want to see her now." Blair's tone was petulant.
"I know, Blair, but the hospital has rules, and we have to follow them. When you're well enough to be out of ICU, I can bring her in to visit."
Tears began to form in Blair's eyes, sliding quietly down his cheeks. "She's my baby, Jim. I need her."
"And she needs you, too," Jim assured him. "It won't be long."
"How long?" came the insistent question.
"A few more days." Jim turned to the night stand next to the bed and located the breast pump. "Laurene will sure be happy when she can drink your milk again. It's obvious she appreciates your contributions more than the formula."
Blair's eyes lit up a bit at the news. "Really? You can tell?"
"Oh, yeah. She balks at the formula. It's almost as though she can smell the difference before she even tastes it," Jim confirmed. "You're going to appreciate your time off for those nipples to heal. Laurene isn't going to want to let go once she gets hold of you again."
That elicited a small chuckle, then Blair turned concerned eyes to Jim. "When will you be able to give her the expressed milk? With all the drugs they've got me on. . . ."
"Lynne says that once you're out of ICU, and off the heavy pain meds, you should be able to nurse, and I can take home any expressed milk." Jim pushed the button to raise the head of the bed slightly. "You want to do this?" He offered Blair the contraption.
"Will you help? The nurses have been coming in and doing it for me. I don't think I can hold it in place well enough yet."
"No problem, Partner." Jim untied the neck of Blair's gown and pulled it down to his waist. "Geez, you're beautiful," he murmured, cupping one small breast and rubbing a thumb over the nipple. He leaned down to press his lips against the slightly parted ones of his blushing lover.
"Uh, Jim," Blair protested weakly. "Remember where we are?"
"All too well, I'm afraid," Jim said, taking an antiseptic wipe and cleaning off Blair's nipples. "It's just been a while, you know?"
Blair smiled sweetly and reached a hand up to brush across Jim's cheek. "It won't be much longer. I miss you, too."
Jim captured the hand caressing his cheek and placed it on the pump. "Thought you were going to help out here, Darwin." He positioned the cup against the nipple and turned the unit on. Placing a hand over Blair's, he helped the younger man hold the pump in place until the breast was emptied.
"How is Laurene?" Blair managed to ask as Jim switched the pump to the other breast.
"She's doing great."
"No problems?"
"Nothing I can't handle. The hardest part was finding someone to watch her so I could come here and visit you."
"Who's with her?" Blair worried.
"Old Mrs. McGinty from across the hall."
"Flo?" Blair looked surprised.
Jim returned the look. "You know her?"
"Oh, yeah. She always used to come out and talk when I'd get home late at night. I think she was waiting up to be sure I made it home safely." He smiled at the memory.
"She's very accepting of our living situation," Jim said, still slightly amazed.
"One of her sons is gay," Blair informed him. "As a matter of fact, she often quizzed me on whether or not you'd gotten a clue. She knew how I felt about you, and was convinced you felt the same, but weren't admitting it."
"Yeah, well. . ." Jim muttered. "I did finally figure it out."
"Thank God." A smile ghosted his lips as his eyes drooped shut.
Jim returned the smile, petting the top of Blair's head absentmindedly. "I guess maybe I ought to let you get some rest."
"Mmmm," Blair muttered agreement.
"Love you."
"Mm-hm," Blair agreed, slipping quietly into a deep sleep.
Jim looked up to see Lynne Casey standing in the doorway. She walked over to the bed when she saw that Blair was asleep. "He's doing very well. I upgraded his condition to serious a few minutes ago. If he continues to improve at this rate, he'll be out of ICU in another day or two."
"Good. It can't come too soon."
Two days later:
Blair pushed the button to raise the head of the bed to a sitting position. His breakfast had just arrived, and he had suddenly realized just how hungry he was. His new room sported a view of the creek and park just across the street from the large municipal hospital. It was a rare, sunny day for November, and the children were already laughing and frolicking through the grass and fallen leaves.
He was about to sample the scrambled eggs when the door opened and a magical sight greeted his eyes.
"Laurene!" He held out his arms, wiggling his fingers in a "come here, gimme" gesture.
Jim walked across the room and placed the squirming bundle into her daddy's waiting arms. He watched as Blair buried his face in the swaddling blankets, drinking in the sight and scent of his precious daughter. When he looked up, his faced beamed with joy, his eyes brighter than Jim had seen them in days.
"Thanks, Jim. God, I was beginning to think I wasn't going to get to see Laur again." He peeled down his gown and put the baby to his breast, lying back with a look of pure bliss as she began her enthusiastic sucking.
"It's good to see you, too, Blair." Jim grinned at his ecstatic partner.
Blair's eyes clouded briefly. "I'm sorry, Jim. It's great to see you, too." His smile spread ear to ear as he met Jim's gaze and held it firmly before turning back to the bundle in his arms.
"That's okay. I understand," Jim said, perching himself on the edge of the bed, cupping Laurene's tiny head in his large palm. "I know how much you missed her."
Blair's stomach took that opportunity to protest its interrupted breakfast.
"Sounds to me like someone else needs to eat," Jim laughed.
Chagrined, Blair picked up the plastic fork and shoveled a mouthful of cooling eggs past his lips. "Have you seen Lynne yet?" he asked between bites. "When can I get out of here?"
"Hey, not so fast, Andretti. This isn't a race. You'll get out when Dr. Casey feels you're healed enough to come home, and not a minute before."
"But I feel so much better."
"Look, Blair, you just got moved out of ICU this morning. I think you have a few days left before Dr. Casey will even consider paroling you."
"That sucks."
"Your distaste for hospitals is well known around here, Kiddo. I don't think anyone wants to keep you here a minute longer than they have to, but none of us want a repeat performance of your last swan dive, so you're staying until the doctor says you can come home."
Blair frowned and shifted Laurene to the other breast, where she continued to nurse contentedly.
"At least Lynne took you off the pain meds twenty-four hours ago so that you could nurse today," Jim reminded him. "Don't worry. You'll be home in plenty of time for Thanksgiving."
"Good morning, Blair . . . Jim." Lynne Casey strode into the room, a cheery smile on her face. "You're looking much better today," she told her patient. "And I think little Laurene is happy to see her other daddy again, too." Blair beamed a smile up at her.
"How much longer?" he asked.
"Oh, at least another three days, Sweetheart. You lost a lot of blood when the placenta separated, and it was pretty touch and go there for a while. I need to keep you here for observation, get you up and walking around a bit, before I can evaluate you for release." She turned to Jim. "When I do release him, I'll expect you to keep him off his feet except for trips to the bathroom or to take a shower. I'm not ordering strict bed rest, but I'll expect about a ninety percent compliance." She turned her gaze to Blair, who looked defiant.
"I've already spent four days flat on my back, and can expect another three before you let me go home. Just how long is this bed rest restriction going to last?"
"Oh, at least a week. Then I'll want you back in my office for an evaluation. We'll proceed from there."
Blair pulled Laurene off the depleted breast and plopped her over his shoulder, patting her back softly until she burped. He stubbornly kept his mouth shut, a signal that Jim had learned long ago meant his lover was royally pissed.
"I'll see to it that he follows all the rules," he said, staring Blair down as he spoke.
The upset man mouthed "fuck you" at minimal sentinel hearing level.
Jim laughed and replied aloud, "That can be arranged . . . when you're feeling better, Sport."
Blair made an obscene gesture behind the doctor's back to his partner, but the smile on his face belied the implied meaning of the hand signal.
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