Once out on the sand, they wandered down near the water, laying the blanket out in the sand several yards above the water line. Blair took Laurene out of the carrier and proceeded to coat her liberally with the sunblock.
"You should use some of this, too," Blair said, handing Jim the bottle. "With your sensitive skin, we wouldn't want you burning."
"It's cloudy," Jim pointed out.
"That doesn't matter, especially at the beach," Blair reminded him. "Besides the forecast calls for mostly sunny by the afternoon. Better be prepared."
Jim took the proffered sunblock, and began smoothing it over his skin. He looked over at his partner and daughter as Blair began babbling at the baby.
"What do you see, Muffin? Huh?" Blair tickled Laurene's tummy, as the child giggled and pointed down the long beach. "What is it? You hear something, don't you?"
"Dogs," Jim commented dryly, looking in the direction of Laurene's gaze. "There's a couple walking a pair of Dalmatians about a half mile down the beach."
"Really?" Blair said, squinting against the ocean's glare at the specks coming toward them. "Wow. I guess Laur really is a sentinel. She noticed that before you did. Hey, maybe this would be a good time to test her abilities a bit--see what she can really do with her senses."
"For heaven's sake, Blair, this is supposed to be recreational, not a laboratory for your sentinel experiments," Jim protested. "Besides, I thought you were through with that now that you got your doctorate."
"Are you kidding?" Blair looked up from where he sat next to Laurene. "I've got two sentinels to study, now. And with Laurene, I can find out just exactly how the senses develop over time. This is an extraordinary opportunity."
"I am not going to let you use our daughter like some damn Guinea pig. She's not a lab rat for your experiments!" Jim tossed the sunblock down and snatched Laurene off the blanket.
"Geez, Jim, you don't have to go postal on me," Blair countered, looking angry and a bit hurt, as well. "I need to study her senses in order to be able to help her. She's too young to learn control yet, so, somehow, we have to do it for her. The more I know, the more I can help."
"Just one more reason against you getting pregnant again," Jim muttered, turning his attention toward setting out their other supplies. "What're the buckets and shovels for?" he asked, changing the subject before Blair could launch into another argument. "Laurene's too young to dig in the sand."
"I thought we could build a sand castle," Blair replied, allowing Jim to change the subject in order to not completely spoil the day.
"You could, maybe," Jim returned sarcastically. "I'm no architect."
"What's to know?" Blair asked, grabbing a bucket and moving toward the slightly damper sand near the water line. He filled the bucket, then came back near their blanket to tamp out the turret-shaped sand, before returning for another bucket-load. "Come on, Jim. This is fun! Ever heard of fun?"
"Fun is watching you make a fool of yourself," came the acrid reply.
"Oh, come on, Jim. Lighten up. Help me!" Blair returned with yet another load of sand. He formed a circle of the bucket-formed silicate, then started on a second layer. Finally, Jim settled Laurene on the blanket and picked up a bucket and shovel, figuring Blair wasn't going to let this go until the castle was finished.
Once they had the basic form, they began smoothing out the sides, cutting crenelations in the towers, and windows and doors in the thick walls. They then dug a moat around the formation and built a bridge across it.
Laurene laughed and clapped her hands from her viewpoint on the blanket. She pushed herself up on her knees and rocked back and forth, not quite ready to crawl, but wanting to get closer to the four-foot-tall structure.
"Look, Jim! She's trying to crawl!" Blair exclaimed, swooping down to scoop up the curious baby and bring her closer to the castle. Busy hands patted at the wet sand, little fingers digging in, making her own small marks on the structure.
"How about a nice walk down the beach?" Jim asked, standing and rescuing his hard-built castle by claiming their daughter from Blair's arms. He started a southward trek, facing a distant lighthouse on an outcropping of rock.
Laurene squirmed in her papa's arms, cooing and pointing to the sand. Partially buried near the water line was a gleaming white shell. Blair bent to dig it out, pulling out a whole sand dollar and washing it in the lapping waves.
"Cool! Looks like Laur has an eye for seashells," Blair exclaimed, tucking the shell into his shirt pocket and surreptitiously keeping an eye on Laurene's ability to spot the elusive treasures. As they continued to wander down the beach, his pocket began to bulge with the small sea offerings.
They finally turned, and headed back toward where they had laid out their blanket. Jim began rifling through the picnic basket, setting out their lunch. Laurene munched happily on her Cheerios, while her daddies dug into sandwiches and Terra Chips.
"Terra Chips?" Jim looked forlornly at the bag of colorful snacks. "What the hell are Terra Chips?"
"Something semi-good for you," Blair explained, grabbing a handful. "They're made from taro, sweet potatoes, and parsnips, among a few other things. Tasty. Try some."
"What else we got in here?" Jim asked, digging through the basket. "No potato salad, no coleslaw?"
"Jim! Are you kidding? We can't refrigerate that stuff, and you know how sensitive your stomach is. I wasn't going to risk food poisoning. Try the chips." He shoved the bag at his reluctant partner.
Jim sighed, taking a handful and popping it into his mouth. After chewing slowly, savoring the mixed flavors, he swallowed. "Not too bad. Take some getting used to, but not too bad." He reached in for another helping while Blair smiled.
When Blair had finished with his sandwich, he opened a jar of chunky beef stew for Laurene. Her little mouth flew open and her arms flapped happily. She looked for all the world like a baby bird receiving an offering from its mother. She wolfed down the stew in record time, washing it down with a few ounces of apple juice.
While Blair cleaned up the lunch mess and repacked the basket, Jim picked up Laurene. He walked down to where the ocean waves flowed gently up onto the sand, just before retreating back, and dangled his daughter's feet in the water.
Laurene laughed as the water tickled her toes, and drew her legs up to keep her feet dry and warm. Crouching down, Jim set her near the water's edge, watching as she splashed at the incoming waves.
Blair came to crouch next to them. "Hi there, Muffin," he said, tickling a finger under her chin to make her look up. "Having fun?" The baby giggled in response.
Another wave rolled up, lapping at their feet. "I think we'd better move the blanket back," Blair suggested. "Looks like the tide's beginning to come in." He lifted Laurene out of the water and carried her several yards away, setting her down on a large beach towel.
With a little effort, they managed to move the blanket and their supplies. Jim watched forlornly as the tide began to lap at the edges of their sand castle, filling the moat and encroaching on the foundation of the structure.
To help take Jim's mind off the erosion of their morning's hard work, Blair picked up the beach ball and sat on one corner of the blanket, spreading his legs wide and positioning Laurene between his thighs, with the ball in front of them both. "How about a little game of catch, Jim? You sit on the other side, and we'll roll it to you."
Obediently, the Sentinel settled opposite the two, with his own legs spread wide. "Bring it on!" he said, laughing.
"Okay, Muffin, let's roll the ball to Papa." He placed her waving hands on the object, and helped her propel it toward Jim.
Giving the ball a gentle push, Jim returned it, causing Laurene to giggle as she batted at it, making it roll off course, bumping into Blair's foot. Blair gently guided the ball back on course, and they soon had a lively game of catch going.
"You surely didn't mean what you said about us not having another baby," Blair commented at the height of the game.
"Hmmm?" Jim looked up from rolling the ball to Laurene.
"You said," Blair reminded him, "that Laurene's senses were another good reason for us not to go through with the pregnancy."
"Well, don't you agree?" Jim countered. "I mean, Laurene's been enough of a handful. To have to deal with two infant sentinels at once. . . ."
"Jim, the chances of our next child being a sentinel are slim. We got a lucky roll of the dice this time. The odds are against it happening again," Blair argued.
"And you want to take that chance?"
"Why not? Jim, life is about taking chances. Everything is pretty much a roll of the dice. I don't think this is a strong enough reason to rethink our decision," he added. "If we were talking about something like MS or cystic fibrosis, then, yeah, maybe. But the possibility of another sentinel? That's not reason enough in my book."
"You're not the one who has to cope with senses run amok," Jim countered. "It's hell on earth some days."
"But you weren't nurtured in the use of your senses as a child, Jim," Blair reminded him. "Laurene may never suffer the way you did. From what you tell me, as a child your senses never really bothered you. It's just been since they were repressed and brought forward again."
"I don't want my kids going through what I've gone through." Jim caught the ball and stowed it in the picnic basket. "I think we'd better get going. It's getting chilly." He stood up and began gathering up their things.
"There are no guarantees in this world, Jim," Blair said, standing and picking up Laurene. "But there's no reason to believe that this is going to be a bad thing. We just have to take it one day at a time."
"Famous last words," Jim grumbled.
"You'll see. I can't promise you there won't be problems, but I'm really confident that between us, we can make this work. We can help Laurene to grow into someone really special. And if her brother is the same, well then, we're twice blessed."
Jim wrapped his arm around Blair's shoulders as they made their way back through the thick sand to the pickup. "You're quite a piece of work, Dr. Sandburg," he said with a shake of his head.
Blair threw him a saucy grin, then leaned into the embrace, resting his head on Jim's shoulder.
Early August, Offices of Dr. Lynne Casey,
Caitlin Infertility Clinic:
"Blair. Jim. It's good to see you again," Lynne greeted the couple. "Congratulations on your degree, Doctor Sandburg." She smiled at Blair.
"Thanks." Blair blushed slightly, still taken slightly aback by the title.
"So, I'm assuming you're here because you want another child?"
"You assume correctly," Jim told her. "It took a lot of convincing on Blair's part. I didn't want him going through that again."
"If either of you is at all ambivalent about the procedure, I'll have to decline your application," Lynne reminded them.
"Oh, no. It's not that, exactly," Jim hastened to assure her. "We both really want a son--a brother for Laurene. It's just that after what Blair went through last time. . . . Well, I guess I'm just concerned, that's all."
"You're wondering if the problems Blair had with his first pregnancy are going to be problems again," Lynne clarified.
"I almost lost him, Doc. I've never been so scared in my life. I can't go through that again. I can't lose him."
Lynne turned to Blair. "And how do you feel about this?"
"I know there are risks," Blair explained. "But every pregnancy is different, right?" Lynne nodded. "I've tried to convince Jim that we're not stepping into the totally unknown this time, that what happened last time can be avoided or coped with."
"There are always the unexpected complications," Lynne reminded him. "Things that happen that could threaten your health or your life. Male pregnancy is inherently risky. But because you've been successful once before, I would say the odds of anything catastrophic happening are much reduced. But, that said, you know I can't give you any guarantees."
For a few minutes, no one spoke. Blair studied his hands, which were lying in his lap. Finally, he looked up. "Jim?"
Jim took a deep breath, and returned Blair's gaze with conviction. "It's your body, your life . . . your choice. I want this baby, but I have my fears, too. You know that. But I'll back you one hundred percent on any decision you make."
Blair released the breath he'd been holding, and turned to Lynne. "I want to do this."
"All right," Dr. Casey agreed. "Because this is a voluntary procedure, you pretty much have your choice of when to start. Any preferences?"
After a quick glance toward Jim, Blair answered. "Well, the one thing I really don't want to do again is go through my third trimester in the heat of the summer."
Dr. Casey got out her calculator and plugged in a few numbers. "Okay. Well, if we were to start you on the hormone treatments now, you could be ready for the implantation on the first of September, which would make the birth happen in early June. That's the best we can do for this year. If you want to wait, we could schedule a birth for earlier in the year. It's up to you."
"What do you think, Jim? I don't really want to wait over six months to start this."
Jim reached over and took Blair's hand, squeezing gently. "If you're ready, go for it."
"Just one more thing," Lynne interrupted. "Have you weaned Laurene yet?"
"No, but she's nursing less and less now that she's eating solid foods and drinking juices," Blair replied.
"If we start you on the hormones, you're going to have to go cold turkey on the weaning. The extra hormones will leech into the milk, which could be very bad for Laurene's growth and development. Did you ever find a formula she'd tolerate?"
"As a matter of fact, we did. But she still prefers breast milk." Blair looked nervously over at Jim.
"It's a tough decision," Lynne agreed. "I can understand your not wanting to wait, but there are the three of you now. Laurene's needs have to be considered as well."
"Would Laurene suffer physically or mentally if Blair weaned her so abruptly?" Jim asked.
"There wouldn't be any physical problems, so long as she can digest the formula and is willing to take it. She might be a little fussy at first. She'll smell the milk leaking, and may refuse to take the bottle." She turned to Jim. "You may have to be the one who feeds her the formula. She too closely associates Blair with another form of nourishment." She turned to Blair, who looked stricken. "Don't worry. You don't have to lose the closeness you've developed with your daughter. You will still be her primary caretaker, and feed her all her other meals."
"Actually, I start my professorship in September," Blair told her. "I can have her at daycare at the university, or have our neighbor watch her."
"Is September going to be bad for you, then?" Lynne asked. "You'll have to be hospitalized for a couple days, then have bed rest at home for a week. After that, you'll have to take it easy. Teaching may prove too stressful during your first trimester."
"The university is aware I want to get pregnant again, and are willing to work with me on it," Blair told her. "But the very beginning of fall term. . . . That's going to be stretching their generosity a bit," he admitted.
"If we wait, we'll have to wait at least eight months," Lynne reminded him.
"If we start the injections now, and I can't make the arrangements for September, we can stop, right? With no real side effects?"
"That would work," Lynne agreed. "So you want to start?"
"Yeah. Let's get this show on the road." Blair stood up. He gave Jim's hand a tight squeeze before he turned to walk into Lynne's exam room.
"Strip and put on a gown," Lynne called after him. "I'll be right in." After Blair had closed the door, she turned to Jim. "You're on board with this? Seriously, Jim. He's going to need your full support. If you're too worried about him to give it, we'd better break the bad news to him right now."
"I'm okay. I'll be okay with it," Jim assured her. "I want this as much as he does. I just happen to want him even more."
"I'll take the very best care of him. You know that."
Jim nodded and tilted his head toward the exam room. "You'd better get in there. He catches chills easily."
Lynne smiled and buzzed Raymond, her male nurse, to join her in the exam room.
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