Dr. D frowned as he yet again read over Raven's blood test result, Van's words about Raven's illness echoing around in his mind.
"This... could be a problem." He muttered to himself, then began to lock down his computer. When that was done, he gathered the materials he needed for a visit to Van and his reluctant room mate.
Van woke to the sound of Raven retching in the bathroom, and covered his ears to go back to sleep, but decided against that. With a curse he rolled out of bed, stretched, yawned, scratched, and dragged himself out to the door of the bathroom. He pulled aside the bed sheet he had hung the night before across the door way and leaned against the frame. Once more his eyes were drawn down the line of Raven's spine and he had to drag his head away before his heart started pumping too much blood away from his brain.
"You're still sick?" Van asked the obvious, to which Raven just turned his head to glare back over his shoulder. A glare that was not nearly effective as it should be with the haggard, red rimmed eyes it came from. So Van ignored it and walked up to crouch beside him. "Were you sick during the night?"
Raven spat into the bowl then reached up to flush. "No." He croaked while the water churned. Then he sighed and hung his head in a way that Van thought could have been embarrassment... but was not sure what over. "Um..." Raven continued. "Last time... with Kouryo... I was only sick in the mornings. But there were no bad smells and things there, I guess. It was really sterile."
Van blinked, having what Raven just said going straight over his head. "O-kay..." He drew it out. "But why were you sick last night, if bad smells make you chuck? I mean, we were talking about-"
"DON'T SAY IT!" Raven shoved his hand over Van's mouth, desperately fighting the wave of nausea that was threatening to hit the back of his throat. Van watched Raven's expression crumple as he panted, pale faced over the toilet bowl. "I can't do this again." He covered his face with his hands, shaking all over, while he curled in upon himself. "Why does this shit always happen to me?"
Van pulled Raven into his arms, just holding him while Raven sobbed loudly against his shoulder, trying not to show just how FREAKED OUT he was getting over Raven's show of emotions. Raven clung to his top and cried and cried, and cried, before suddenly lifting and turning his head, jerking to attention. "Kouryo," He breathed, before he was gone from Van's arms and into his son's room. Van stayed crouching where he was, arms still like he was holding Raven... a very puzzled expression on his own face.
/I can't believe I just balled like a weak little girl./ Raven thought bitterly to himself as he pulled Kouryo out of the cot and tried to sooth his cries. /And on HIS shoulder. Of course. Of course it had to be him. My life doesn't suck enough, I obviously need to be humiliated more. I hate this. Why do I keep putting up with this shit? If Van wasn't such a stickler for gun regs, I could take his and end it all. It would be so easy.../ More tears started gathering in his eyes and he shook them off with a sigh, thoughts turning to his son having to survive without him, always wondering where he came from and why he wasn't loved. Why he was all alone in the world. "No," He breathed out long. "It wouldn't be easy at all."
Raven carried Kouryo to his bed, stiffly ignoring Van who was still standing in the bathroom doorway watching, and lay curled on his side, shirt open to let Kouryo suckle. As he lay there, mind drifting, he found himself thinking about Van. Van always screwing up his missions, always SOME how defeating him. Van who even though they were enemies, found him and protected him in his hour of need. Van who treated him... very well, considering the way Raven had been trained regarding prisoners of war. Van who did not push him away with disgust, didn't take advantage, didn't deliberately humiliate him further especially after finding him in that cell. Van who's morning shoulder smelled... nice. Raven found himself blushing as he remembered what it felt like to have Van's warm, strong, fingers gently caressing the skin around his nipple back in the hospital room, how... good... it had felt. How it had made his heart jump start. Then strangely enough he began imagining Van kneeling before him, placing his mouth where Kouryo's now was, Van's arms wrapped around his waist while licking, kissing, sucking. Raven arching into the embrace... /Maybe... this place will not be... so bad./ He chose to ignore the fact that Van's hair in his mind was turning white and growing longer...
He was just on the edge of dozing, pleasant feelings waring with the feelings of horror flowing through his mind when there was a knock on the apartment door. Raven jumped which startled Kouryo and made him clamp down hard on what was in his mouth.
"AAARGH!" Raven screeched arching his back and rolling, desperately trying to pry the strong jaws off him. Eventually he managed to do so (Kouryo started crying enough to open his mouth), and Raven rolled away from the baby clutching at his chest and swearing loudly as he tried to sooth the pain away. Then a knock at the bedroom door had him looking up at Van and a Dr D that was really asking to have his head kicked in by the amused turn of his mouth. Raven's face went red when he realised they were watching him (Van wide eyed with a very red face) rub himself in what could be seen as an intimate way and clenched his teeth against the pain instead.
Dr. D bent down to pick Kouryo up, talking all baby-ish himself, holding the squalling thing against his shoulder and rocking side to side while patting the nappy-clad bottom. "He bit you, eh?" Dr. D said after Kouryo had calmed enough to start hiccuping cutely.
"I think he drew blood." Raven affirmed with some horror. "He hasn't even got teeth yet!"
"Ah, yes... Just you wait!" Kouryo let out a loud belch, which Dr. D seemed to think was the most amazing thing in the world. "Such a clever boy! Yes you are!" and other such nonsense spilled from his mouth.
"Oh, God. Shoot me now." Raven groaned.
"Now, now, now..." Dr. D. tisked still using that silly baby voice. "That's no way to speak in front of impressional young minds."
As if to echo those same thoughts, Kouryo turned his head to look back at Raven and said "Blaaah!"
Raven found himself smiling slightly, and nodded his head in acceptance.
Van hovered at the end of the bed, watching Raven while Dr. D lay Kouryo down, examining the little thing's reflexes or what ever he was doing. Van felt tingles run through him when Raven looked up from watching Kouryo, their eyes meeting briefly before Raven looked down again. Then Raven looked up, and again their eyes met, and there was a definite blush on his cheeks before he looked away again that make Van grin like a dope.
"Well, Kouryo looks like he's doing very well. Did he sleep the night through?" Raven nodded in reply, and Dr. D. grinned at him. "Very lucky. We'll have to see how long that continues, wont we. Now, young man, it's your turn." Raven blinked, the small smile he had had on his face quickly fading, his skin paling. Dr. D hefted Kouryo up to his shoulder and turned to Van. "Here you go," He said, handing Kouryo over to Van, who looked like he was about to panic. "You won't break him you know. I need to talk to Raven for a bit. Grab a few toys and put them on the floor together and let him have a kick." Dr. D winked. "You'll be fine!" Then he closed the door in Van's face.
Van stared at the door in a daze, not really even remembering being ushered out of the room to begin with, but jerking back to awareness when Kouryo kicked out. "Oh!" He turned to the baby room. "The toys!"
Van sat on the couch and watched Kouryo rock from side to side on his back while looking at and reaching out to the stuffed teddy Van had placed just out of his reach. Kouryo would kick his legs out every now and then, and gurgle. Sometimes he would reach up with both his hands and feet, pulling feet down to taste his toes. "They sure must taste good," Van mused out loud. Kouryo looked at him, gurgling happily with his mouth full of toes, saliva sliding down his chin. "Now that's just yuck." Van smiled, and stood to get something to wipe the drool away with. Kouryo watched him from his spot on the floor, following every move he made, which Van found surprising. "I thought babies couldn't see very far." He said as he knelt to wipe away the drool. Kouryo blew raspberries up at him, and Van laughed at more mess to clean up. "Ah, you're cute."
Kouryo smiled, and Van felt that now familiar warmth spread through him. Van bent down to pick Kouryo up, grinning with affection as he bounced the baby on his knee. "I don't know what it is with you, but..." He paused, looking across at Raven's door, not sure if he should continue with what he was going to say. He reached for the remote and turned on the tv instead. "I really like cartoons. What do you say we see what's on."
Van was almost sure he heard a reply, but that could have just been Kouryo burping.
"You can put your clothes back on now." Dr. D said gently, to which Raven quickly complied. He kept his back to the doctor, not wanting to see if the old man was looking at him. Not that Dr. D had been anything more than professional... It was just... the whole thing left Raven feeling shivering cold to his bones.
"You are healing up well, which is very pleasing. How have you been eating?"
Raven sighed, finishing adjusting his clothes to turn and face the man. "I haven't." He replied. "Last night Van mentioned..." The nausea returned, and Raven had to push it away. "a... type of food that... has put me off eating since."
"Hmmm..." Dr. D frowned, jotting things down on his data pad. "I take it you have been nauseas again this morning?"
"...Yes."
"Any bowel problems? Fever? Aches or pains?"
"...No."
Dr. D pierced Raven with his eyes. "Do you know what the problem is?"
Raven swallowed and curled in upon himself. "Yes."
"Would you like a test for confirmation?"
"No point."
"Then.. what do you wish to do about it?" It was gently asked, in a way that Raven understood meant that the doctor knew exactly what he was talking about.
Raven sighed. "I don't know. Last time was not at all... pleasant. But... I don't think I could just KILL it. I mean, that would be the easiest thing to do, but with Kouryo I came to realise that a child doesn't ask to be made, so it shouldn't have to die for something it's... father... did. I don't know if that makes any sense? I don't know what I'm doing or how I'm going to handle keeping them. One will be hard enough normally, never mind the whole war-politics or me-freak thing. And the idea of someone else having them..." Raven felt adrenaline kick in. "It makes me want to smash something." He sighed again regaining his composure, and looking the doctor in the eye. "But what choice to I have, really?"
Doctor D rubbed his chin with his fingers as he listened and thought about what Raven had said, and what he hadn't said. "It takes real strength of character to be able to have that kind of attitude."
Raven gave him a hesitant smile.
"I don't know what the future holds, but I do know that if you us a chance, there will be a place for you here."
"The Guardian Force?"
"Yes."
Raven looked away bitterly. "They wouldn't want me."
Dr. D. patted Raven's shoulder. "You may be surprised." Then he was all business again. "Now, I can prescribe you something for the nausea that should be safe, or you could try some old fashioned remedies first?"
Van was absorbed in a show that combined live actors with puppets and cartoons to be educational with Kouryo sitting up, leaning against his chest, when Dr. D emerged from Raven's room.
"You know," Van said with awe. "I never had a chance to watch shows like this growing up. It's strangely... hypnotic."
Dr. D chuckled, then marched with a grin over to him, holding out a piece of paper. Van looked at the paper, then up at the doctor, one eye brow raised.
"What's this?"
"Some extra orders regarding Raven's care."
Van took the paper and read. "...A cup of tea and some savory biscuits in the morning? What the-?"
"To help relieve the nausea. Hopefully it will go away in another two months or so, but it may be for longer than that. I also recommend you get some carob covered ginger delivered for him to snack on. And ginger ale. Ginger should help a lot. But this," Dr. D tapped his finger on the paper. "Is essential. Got it? Good." Then he bid his farewells and was gone.
Van sat thinking for a few moments. Where the hell did one get carob covered ginger anyway? Flicking through his mobile he called the one person he knew who could give him supply pointers.
"Hey Moonbay, it's Van. How you going? Good, good. Listen, I was wondering if you had any idea where I could get some carob covered ginger from? Yeah, that's what I said. Moonbay, you know I don't have a girlfriend." That was said with some laughter, then Van looked at the phone with confusion. "What do you mean, who'd I get pregnant? ... Morning sickness?" He paused and said to himself (loud enough to be heard on the phone) "Why would Raven have morning sick-" Past conversations filled his mind, making connections with things he only vaguely knew anything about. "Oooh. Gotta go Moonbay! Thanksbye!"
Moonbay looked at her phone with confusion as it beeped the disconnection at her. "Well his brains sure have just melted out his ears."
"Who was that?" Irvine piped up as he emerged from the bathroom, dressed only in his pants, drying his hair with a towel. Moonbay crossed the room, snagging his belt loops in her hands to pull him against her. Something that made Irvine purr low in the back of his throat and lean down to wrap his arms around her shoulders.
"That was Van, wanting to get supplies for morning sickness."
Irvine blinked, raising an eyebrow at the amused glint in her eye. "Who'd he knock up?"
"Come here and I'll whisper it to you..."
Irvine lowered his head further, eyes widening in with shock when Moonbay spoke, before dropping to the floor with hysterical laughter.
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