Note: Thanks Lissie!
It was minutes before the start of Alpha shift and things seemed to be as they should. Mr. Tuvok and Harry Kim disembarked from the turbo lift onto the bridge at the same time, before heading in opposite directions. Only the Commander and Captain were conspicuous by their joint absence.
The First Officer came onto the bridge from the direction of the Ready Room, with a cup of herbal tea in his hand and a PADD in another. He acknowledged both his senior officers, but when he turned to Lieutenant Paris, he sneered, “Daydreaming already Paris? Sandrine’s close too early for you or too late?”
The Lieutenant stiffed at the helm, replying with a curt, “Sorry, sir.”
“See it doesn’t happen again Lieutenant,” the Commander snapped.
Behind him, with a touch of a few buttons Tuvok transferred the required agreed to rations to Harry Kim. Mr. Kim, who chuckled a bit too loudly at his winnings from the Vulcan, drew the inquisitive murmurings of others and the attention of the First Officer. The Commander looked oddly at him. “Care to share with the class Mr. Kim?”
Harry Kim went stock still. “No, sir. It was nothing.”
The doors to the Ready Room opened once more to reveal the Captain with a cup in her hands, a PADD in the other, just as her First Officer had done only moments before. She was sipping at her coffee intently only half paying attention to her surroundings.
“Actually, that is not true.” Mr. Tuvok interrupted causing Mr. Kim to sigh unhappily. “Mr. Kim wagered that you would ‘jump all over Mr. Paris’ within five minutes of coming on the bridge. Normally, I would not deign to participate in gambling, however, I thought the case he made was one I should look into. I must say, Commander, I find myself concerned that others see the pattern of aggression toward Mr. Paris when you clearly do not.”
Tuvok made his case just as the Captain came fully onto the bridge sitting down into her chair. Her face became instantly pinched and she took a deep drink from her coffee before speaking. “Commander, Ready Room, now. You have the bridge, Mr. Tuvok.”
The pilot looked at her pleadingly, not wanting to stir any more animosity up in regards to the crusty Commander, even though part of him wanted nothing more than to see the First Officer get his.
The door slid shut once again behind the Captain and Commander, leaving a very subdued and anxious bridge staff behind. Tuvok cocked an eyebrow at them. “I believe you’ll find that there is still work to be done?”
All the bridge staff scurried into motion as Mr. Tuvok nodded in apparent satisfaction.
Captain Kathryn Janeway rounded her desk and sat down. She took another deep sip before gesturing to the Commander to sit down. Reluctantly, he did so. The air was considerably tenser than it had been a mere five minutes ago he noted with apprehension.
Kathryn leaned forward. “Chakotay, I know that you and Mr. Paris have a history behind you. But if your animosity toward each other has escalated to the point it’s been covered by ships pools; it should indicate something to you both!”
The Commander tried to interrupt but she held up a hand stopping him mid-sentence, as she was wont to do when on a roll, “Either the two of you work it out or I’ll lock you both in a room together until you do. Do I make myself clear? And I believe you should start with an apology. Don’t you?”
Not giving him time to answer she plowed on. “Lord knows that Tom Paris can have some pretty thick walls. But there were reasons I went to find him at Auckland. I know his father and how Tom was raised. He desperately needs approval from the male figures of authority in his life. The Tom Paris I know is someone I think you could become very close to if you only got took a moment to get to know him. You’d actually complement each other quite well.”
The First Officer shot to his feet in outrage. “It’s not within your jurisdiction to try to set me up with members of this crew, especially not HIM.”
Janeway’s one eyebrow shot up, “You doth protest too much, Commander.” She took another sip and sat it down while the Dorvan fumed, trying to keep his temper under control. “I want you and Mr. Paris to take the rest of the day off and try to get to know each other.”
Chakotay began to protest when she held up one hand and snapped out. “I can make it an order.”
He tried to contain his snarl but was unsuccessful and Kathryn was surprised at the anger her First Officer seemed to have toward the helmsman. “What is it that you hate the most about him Chakotay?”
Folding his arms over his chest, he snapped back, “I wouldn’t know where to start.”
Kathryn shook her head. “What I wouldn’t do for a nice Betazoid on board. Perhaps Mr. Tuvok would be willing to meld your minds and you can try to get to know each other on a deeper level.” She leaned forward. “I cannot have any of this crew not getting along. Not out here,” she gestured toward the window. Changing tack she added in a motherly tone, “Please Chakotay, this isn’t like you.”
Chakotay bit his lip. Deep inside, he was embarrassed to have this shown to him. He was horrified, in fact, that he’d been so blatantly nasty to a fellow officer. His pride stung and the anger allowed him to vent some of it. Somehow he hadn’t noticed it happening. He’d been fine last night at Sandrine’s, well at least until the Delaney twins showed up and were fawning and pawing all over the pilot.
He was yours first said an internal voice of reason that sounded suspiciously like his father.
He shook his head to rid himself of it and blinked. Was he jealous? Where had that thought come from? Was he jealous of the twins or Tom? Not the twins. The two bubble heads never did anything for him. He sat back down shakily as his mind tried to wrap around the realization that he’d been jealous of the girls touching Tom.
Kathryn sat back. “I take it by the expression on your face you’ve had some sort of revelation?” The Commander could only shake his head again and a slow heated flush rose up his neck. Janeway blinked in surprise at this reaction. “I take it this has something to do with your orientation?”
Internally she cheered. She’d grown weary of the lonely, stoic man. How could he not notice his attraction toward the blond when she had well before? From the second Chakotay had stepped onto Voyager sparks had flown between the two men. She smiled encouragingly and waited for her First Officer to answer.
Chakotay sighed and rubbed his head. “Oh hell, Kathryn. I don’t know!” He knew that it was clearly on his records that he was bisexual with a preference toward men. However, he’d never dated any men while on board the USS Voyager. In fact, he’d been pretty much celibate the entire time except for tension releasing with a few members of his old crew, mainly Ayala. But that was simply physical, there were no emotional entanglements and that had worked.
Until now…
He looked up to see Kathryn smiling sympathetically. “Get to know him better and then turn on that old world charm.”
“Wrong tribe,” Chakotay muttered and Kathryn laughed breaking the tension. Sensing he was dismissed he braced himself to talk to the pilot and walked back onto the bridge. He walked over to the helm and cleared his throat loudly to garner the attention of all those on duty. “My apologies Lieutenant for my attitude toward you earlier, it was unwarranted.” Really, it was only fair that he receive the apology in public since Chakotay’s jealousy and anger had been public.
Paris nodded keeping his eyes straight ahead. “Apology accepted.” Under his breath he added, “Even if the Captain made you do it.”
“The Captain has given us both the rest of the day off to work on …” he gestured between the two of them awkwardly. Tom nodded toward his fellow helmsman and he slid over. Paris rose to his feet and headed toward the turbolift, not meeting the eyes of the bridge crew and keeping his back ramrod straight.
Chakotay entered the turbolift with him. The doors slid shut and they felt a heavy silence weigh down the very oxygen in the small enclosure. The thickness of it was absolute.
Taking a deep breath, the Commander turned toward the Lieutenant. “Look, perhaps we should take a few minutes to freshen up and then we can meet somewhere?”
Tom laughed bitterly. “This isn’t some date. All we have to do is agree to get along in front of the crew.”
Swallowing down the rage that threatened at the emergence of Tom’s cocky attitude, he suddenly got an idea. “Let’s play a game to get to know each other.”
The pilot rubbed at his forehead with one hand and crossed the other over his chest. “Look Commander. I know that you can’t stand me. I accept that. But this ‘let’s get to know each other attitude’ is just rich coming from you. But I suppose the Captain will cut you off if ““
“LIEUTANANT!” the First Officer barked. “First of all, get your facts straight the Captain and I have never been romantically involved ““
“Never?” Tom asked in surprise.
The Commander was taken aback. “Yes, never. And my preferences are clearly marked in my record if you ever stopped to find out anything about me!”
Tom blinked and blinked again before an angry dark cloud descended over his face. “How could I ever get past that brick wall of defense? You hate me! How the hell am I supposed to get to know you “ SIR? And why the hell would I want to?” The last was spat out coldly.
The doors slid open on Tom’s floor and they were mid-argument at the time. A group of bioengineers froze at hearing the tone of voice Tom was using towards his senior officer. They shuffled their feet nervously, no one wanting to approach the turbolift. Tom gave the Commander one more glare and pushed by the group, storming angrily toward his cabin.
Chakotay walked out after him and the group gladly retreated into the turbolift to make their escape. He didn’t bother trying to catch up to Paris. The time spent in getting to Tom’s cabin was giving his mind a chance to figure out what to do. He was, however, still at a loss as he faced what he believed to the correct cabin door.
Silently, he sent a petition to Sky Father and Earth Mother for strength and patience as he rang the chime. The door slid open a moment later to reveal an unhappy looking Tom Paris. He rolled his eyes. “Look Commander, obviously you can use a day off. I’ll agree to be extra good if you will too and maybe we can just enjoy the day apart?”
See what you have done my son? You shame me with your denial.
Chakotay felt ill at heart at his father’s voice in his head, but was determined to try harder. “Please, I know I have a lot of ground to make up for here. Let me at least make you lunch, my treat, my cabin, say fifteen minutes?”
Tom folded his arms over his chest and leaned against the doorframe. “Given your temper, I think the Mess Hall will do just fine. But then again, considering the danger of food poisoning, so you could be rid of me at last? Hmm, thanks Commander, but no thanks.”
“Gods, you’re scared to be alone with me?” Chakotay asked nervously. Had he made things that bad between them? How long had he been so hostile to the young man?
“Let’s just say, I’d rather not risk it right now.” Tom sighed. “I’d suggest Sandrine’s but after that comment this morning I don’t think that will work either.”
Chakotay looked down at the floor. “Look, can we not talk about this in the hall? Mind if I come in?”
“Actually Commander I do. But since you won’t leave me alone, I’ll see you in the Mess Hall in fifteen. At least I’m used to Neelix trying to kill me.”
The door slid shut and the First Officer took a step back, startled at being cut off so suddenly. Familiar anger rose through him and he had to bite it back quickly. He pressed a hand to his head. “Father, help me figure out what to do.”
Why should I bother? You are not ready to listen. You are much like your mother, quick to temper and slow to reason.
Suddenly, the Commander wanted nothing more than to meditate. He made a quick beeline for his cabin and grabbed the medicine bundle quickly. “Computer, alarm in ten minutes.”
“Alarm set.”
Chakotay wasted no time and quickly unwrapped his medicine bundle, “…I am far from the land of my ancestors…”
Green grass practically glowed in the bright sunlight when Chakotay found himself in his sacred place. He looked about for his guide and found the familiar she-wolf not far away.
”Forgive me, but I don’t have long. I need your advice. What do I do about Paris?”
“Paris is his father.” His guide said sitting down in the sunshine.
“What does that have to do with anything?” Chakotay felt rushed for time. He hated not being able to have a full hour scheduled for meditation at least. Here he had only a few minutes and his guide was being cryptic! He felt anger rise within him again.
Around him the sky suddenly darkened and the she wolf’s fur bristled in the wind. “Your temper turns the world around you and everything in it dark.” She turned toward the valley laid out below that before was inspiring and now was dreary and dismal.
“I don’t mean too. Maybe I need an outlet. I know I’ve been taking it on him but I didn’t even realize it. And gods help me I think I’m jealous!”
“Maybe you found your outlet.” She walked over to a flower bed blowing in the wind. “They are all beautiful around this one aren’t they? But they are separate. The flowers can not help it. It is the way for the bee to keep things going.”
Chakotay frowned. “I need to attract Paris and make him my outlet?” As he said it he felt heat rise in his neck.
His guide seemed to be laughing. “Close your eyes and think of his beauty.”
Chakotay did so and felt different warmth in his chest and groin. He opened his eyes instantly in shock. “How can I be attracted to him and hate him? It doesn’t make sense. Help me!” he cried in desperation.
“It is time to walk on the other side of the line between love and hate. Come back when you are ready to do so.”
The wolf ran off leaving Chakotay alone as the alarm went off.
He felt confused by the abrupt ending, without thought he changed clothes quickly into a comfortable long sleeve white cotton shirt and a pair of soft tan pants. Tossing on a pair of comfortable moccasins, Chakotay headed swiftly to the Mess Hall, hoping the irritating helmsman would show.
Part II
Tom sat down unhappily as far away from the door as possible. He tried to make himself blend into the dark corner. Perhaps if the Commander didn’t see him he’d leave him alone. Unfortunately the same couldn’t be said for Neelix who was eyeing him with concern.
The Talaxian’s eyes turned as the Mess Hall door slid open once more to reveal the Commander. The dark brown eyes scanned the Hall looking for Mr. Paris. “AH, Commander! What can I get for you? I have a nice bowl of Arcadian flower stew! Say, aren’t you on duty now? Is everything okay on the bridge?”
Taking a deep breath, the Commander approached the cook. “I wonder Neelix if you’ve seen Mr. Paris?”
“Should I have?” Mr. Neelix answered evasively.
“Damn. Well, when he comes in tell him I’m tired of these games!” Neelix blinked in surprise at the anger rolling off in waves from the man. But he was also present when Harry was discussing a certain wager with Mr. Tuvok earlier. It appeared that Chakotay was on …what did Harry call it? Ah yes, a warpath.
Grabbing a bowl of the offered stew the Commander was about to leave when he spotted Lt. Paris trying to sneak out. “PARIS!”
Tom jumped nearly out of his skin. He stopped and whispered to Neelix. “Thanks for trying.”
He turned toward the Commander and did a slight double take when he saw the change of clothes. “You wanted something?”
“Paris, sit down. I want to talk to you.” Chakotay found himself breathing deeply on the way to the nearest table. As the pilot sat down he felt a bit more in control. “Look, I won’t pretend to understand how much you hate me. But the Captain gave us an order. And I don’t know about you, but I’d rather avoid the whole locked in a room idea she also had.”
Tom chuckled under his breath at that. He could actually picture the stubborn Captain doing just that. But what he didn’t understand was why the Commander wasn’t willing to agree to put on a good act and call it quits. He folded his arms over his chest and decided to wait.
“Spirits, Paris. Why must you make this so difficult?” The Commander snapped out before he could stop.
“Look Commander, I told you all we have to do is simply act like we get along and I’m sure that will be enough for the Captain. Why don’t we just relax and try to avoid each other for the rest of the day? It will probably do us a world of good to be apart from each other.”
Chakotay felt confused. Why wasn’t he agreeing to that? It was simple enough; though he was loathe admitting agreement with the troublesome man. And wasn’t that part of the problem? If he still hated him, wouldn’t he agree to the act? SO why was he fighting it? Did he hate Paris or want him? He grit his teeth against the waves of conflicting emotions.
Maybe it was the principal of the thing. The Captain expected him to work things out. Or maybe it was the confusing meeting with his Spirit Guide. What was all of that about walking the line between love and hate? Yet part of him was so angry. All he wanted to do was to knock the blond’s head off his shoulders. Yes, a good right cross might bring the “
“Come with me,” Chakotay grabbed Tom by the arm and dragged him out of the Mess Hall and down the halls of Voyager. Tom stumbled trying to keep up. Words of protest flew out of his mouth, but he was too busy trying to stay on his feet to do much more. At last the Commander stopped in front of Holodeck 1. “It’s time for us to get this out in the open once and for all Paris, in a good old fashioned fist fight.”
Tom blinked as the Holodeck doors opened to reveal an old time gym complete with a boxing ring. “You have got to be kidding!”
“About time you came back,” a white haired man in a corner addressed Chakotay that Paris recognized as the groundskeeper from the Academy. “You need to practice!” The holocharacter looked seriously at Tom. “Is he your sparing partner? Can you hold your own kid?”
Tom just stood there in confusion taking in his surroundings and the old man laughed. “I think he’s so scared that he can’t move Chakotay. What’d you bring me a rookie?”
Chakotay tossed some gloves at him. “Suit up Paris.”
The old man was muttering instructions to Tom, but it was a waste of breath. He wasn’t paying any attention. Disbelief colored his features. It was as the first blow was thrown from Chakotay that he seemed to wake up. The older man pounded into him venting all his anger at Tom for his frustrating behavior and causing his normally calm life to be cast into emotional chaos. Halfway through Tom seemed to come into his own and gave as good as he was getting. At last they collapsed into their corners, evenly matched and gasping for air.
“This isn’t what I want Commander! Why are we doing this?” Tom asked in exasperation as he wiped the sweat from his brow with the back of his forearm.
“Come on Paris,” the Commander challenged, “why don’t you admit that you’re enjoying it?” The anger felt comfortable and easy to don to Chakotay, especially compared to what he himself was trying not to admit.
“I’m not and I refuse to fight you anymore,” Tom pronounced and started taking off the gloves. Realizing that was easier said than done he added glaring at the Commander, “Computer show exit.”
Commander Chakotay watched him go and felt conflicting emotions rise within him. On the one hand he was still frustrated that the fight didn’t finish. It felt good to get some of that anger and resentment out. But on the other hand, why didn’t the blond want to fight? Isn’t that what Tom wanted all along? And if it wasn’t, then what did he want? He pressed a bronzed hand against his temple and tried to will his headache away.
Wandering deep in thought, he found himself back in his quarters. With a heavy sigh, he tossed off his clothes and headed for a shower. Maybe the answers would come to him there. But they didn’t. It was like trying to catch smoke with his bare hands. Each time his thoughts took him in a new direction and he turned his attention to it, just like that it was gone. Frustrated, angry and confused Chakotay wished for an easy solution.
But the only thing he could thing about was that he might as well go along with Paris’ plan of just acting civil to each other and let it go.
Maybe it was for the best.
Chakotay soon realized not long into Alpha Shift the next day, that best wasn’t always easy. He found it nearly impossible to take his eyes off the enigma that was Tom Paris. How many people on Voyager now believed in the blond? Paris had even managed to win over the old Maquis crew and completely on his own. What did his old crew think of his behavior?
Biting his lip, Chakotay now questioned his own actions. Why didn’t he step-in when he knew the Maquis had been hassling Paris? If it had been anyone else he would have. Yet, he felt oddly proud of his old crew. They almost had seemed protective of him back then. It dawned on him that it had been a long time since that period and Paris had won the Maquis over.
But why? Chakotay looked over the blond again. A slight giggle to his side got his attention. He had failed to notice her arrival. She was making herself at home in her chair, crossing her legs and sipping her coffee. A smile pulled at Kathryn’s lips. “I take it relations are better?”
“There was something about the way that sounded Captain that would make one wonder if we’re on different tracks.” The Commander commented with hesitation.
“Pity,” she announced, squishing up her face she looked away then back to him with something akin to sorrow.
Chakotay was just about to ask what she meant by the second comment when he was startled by another voice joining in what he had assumed to be a private conversation.
“I would have to concur,” Tuvok stated without looking away from the visual screens.
Harry gave a chuckle out of the side of the mouth before adding, “Count me in. You’re both driving me crazy dancing around each other. Please tell me something happened.”
Kathryn laughed. “Well Commander, it appears you have the floor.” She swept out her free arm gracefully toward the bridge floor. The Commander glared holes through the woman, but didn’t move from his seat.
“Captain.” The helmsman had turned and was looking hopefully toward the Captain clearly wishing with all his might that she’d drop the subject or at least order everyone not to talk about it.
Instead the Captain shrugged and leaned forward into her First Officers personal space to whisper, “How did yesterday go? Does it have anything to do with the fact you’ve barely taken your eyes off Tom? Come on Chakotay, you can tell me. Or do I have to make it an order?” she cocked an eyebrow at him.
Chakotay knew Tom had heard that whispered conversation and his eyes sought out the blond who was staring at him looking …hopeful? His heart seemed to stop and reality seemed to freeze on the spot.
“Gods,” Chakotay whispered aloud as he realized the reason he was so hard on Tom was because he was trying to protect his heart. He was in love with Tom Paris! His blood slammed south and he shifted uncomfortably in his seat desperately willing away his sudden erection.
“Commander, perhaps you two should have a private meeting in your quarters?” Chakotay’s head almost snapped, turning quickly to stare in shock at the obvious hint that he should simply take Tom Paris to bed! The mere thought…terrified him. And made his blood boil with desire and he had to steady himself in the chair.
Kathryn winked and smiled smugly before leaning forward to throw out an order. “Mr. Paris please accompany the Commander.”…”I think I can handle things here,” she said in an aside to her First Officer.
At that point Chakotay was stunned numb. In the last few minutes, a lot had happened to change the relationship between him and the helmsman. Nervously, he stood, nodded to the Captain and walked over to the turbo lift. They both pretended not to hear the snickers as the doors swooshed closed.
Chakotay found he could barely swallow around the lump in his throat. Gods! Tom knew he’d been staring at him. The entire bridge crew was hoping they’d had sex and now he’d practically been ordered to! But how could he possibly make things up to Tom for all he’d done to him? With a sigh, he stared down at the floor and bit his lip.
“Computer, stop turbo lift”.
Looking up, Chakotay gasped to see that Tom was leaning into the wall he was leaning against and was pressed into him along his side. All Chakotay could see were the amazing baby blue eyes stopping his heart cold, laying any remaining doubts he’d had about the pilot aside. He was lost.
“May I kiss you?” Chakotay smiled at the simple question. He was grateful beyond words that the blond was taking the lead. “Yes.”
Tom leaned forward and gently covered his lips over Chakotay’s. The dark man groaned and using an old Maquis trick soon had their positions reversed. Tom moaned happily feeling the bigger man push his now tented uniform against his own. They kissed passionately, gasping for air and groping each other like teenagers. The kiss was scaling the boundaries that lay between them casting them to waste, thanks to the intimacy it created.
Pulling apart from their passion for a second they practically burned each other with the heated lust emanating from their eyes. Chakotay fairly growled out, “Computer, site to site transport, authorization 4321 Alpha.” As they were engulfed in a beam of light they merged together once more, their lips seeking each other out even en route.
Harry’s fingers stopped their frantic movement to double check his readings before announcing to the bridge crew with a smile, “Computer reports a site-to-site transport from the bridge turbo lift to Commander Chakotay’s quarters using his codes. Should it be logged?” He smiled mischievously at the Captain.
Kathryn chuckled and raised her cup in salute. “Of course, we need to determine who wins the counter bet of how long it would take them to get together!”
Betting on Bitterness by Keikokin [ - ]
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