Date: 3/16/05
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It was early evening when Jack knocked on the door to Daniel’s lab. Jack opened the door without waiting for permission then closed it quickly behind him. Daniel’s head lifted from where he’d been reading and wondered what Jack was up to.
“Close your eyes and count to 100,” Jack asked. “Put your hands in your pockets.”
Daniel tried to figure out what had gotten into him. ‘Out of the blue he comes into my office and asks me to do this? Is this a game or something? With Jack O’Neill you just never know. Best to play along.’ Daniel let Jack pull him to his feet but now Jack asks this?
“Please Daniel. I can’t explain. Just give me this and trust me things that NEVER made sense about me, well… it will all be crystal clear.” Jack looked at Daniel very seriously and a bit nervously, too.
“Jack, just tell me what is going on. I really don’t have time to play your games.” Daniel admitted to himself that he was irritable. But Jack used to be his best friend. That was a long time ago.
“Don’t shut me out. Let me just do this so I can retire with my conscience clear. Otherwise, it’s going to gnaw at me for the rest of my life. It may not mean crap to you but this is very important to me. Please.” Jack looked at Daniel with a plea in his eyes. It was a look that made the old Daniel Jackson cave in every time. But Daniel was a different man then he’d been when he’d first come on board the project. Daniel sighed. It was becoming increasingly clear that he wouldn’t be able to return to his work if Jack was so insistent on doing whatever it is he wanted to do.
“Look right now I just need to you trust me for, oh, thirty seconds… a minute tops.” Jack implored to the blue-eyed man before him.
Daniel frowned as his mind picked up on something. “Wait a minute, did I hear you right? You’re retiring? As in today?”
‘Okay now I’m upset. Jack has been here since the project began. The whole Stargate experience just wouldn’t be the same without him. Maybe it shouldn’t bother me as much as it does.’ Daniel thought in a rush. “Why?”
“Yes Daniel. I’m retiring. It’s been in the works for a while. Just forget it.” Jack turned and left and Daniel realized that he never did find out what Jack wanted. He shook his head and tried to let it go. But the more he tried to tackle his work again the more it ate at him. ‘Jack had only asked for what thirty seconds? A minute? And I wouldn’t give it to him. Why was he retiring? Did anyone else know? No one had mentioned it. But why would Jack tell only him?’ Daniel warred with himself.
He saved his work, turned off the laptop, and locked up for the night. Jumping into his car Daniel drove straight to Jack’s house determined to find out what was going on. After rapping smartly on the door several times the door opened with a “for crying out loud.”
Daniel looked around the door after he was let in. “You going to tell me what that was all about in my office earlier Jack?”
“I said to forget about it. You want something to drink?” Jack moved smoothly toward the kitchen. “Red or white?” He held up two wine bottles.
“Why do you have wine here? You hate wine.” Daniel asked in surprise. Jack shrugged. “Red.” Daniel said once he got the idea that Jack wasn’t answering.
Jack handed Daniel the glass of wine. Then sat down opposite him by the fireplace. “So is this where we play twenty questions Jack?” Daniel asked with some irritation.
“Look Daniel, if you had gone along with me and trusted me for just a minute we wouldn’t be in this situation. I could have done what I came to do then left. You never would have had to set eyes on me again, unless you wanted to.” Jack half-growled.
Daniel rubbed his face. “What happened between us Jack? You used to be able to tell me things straight out.”
Jack got up and took a step toward Daniel. “What happened to you Daniel? You used to be able to trust me without question. Hell, we were friends.”
“I changed. We all changed.”
“Not all of us,” Jack said softly.
“Oh please. When I first met you it was shoot first and ask questions... if there were any to be asked - later. By the time you became General you listened to both sides of the argument.”
“Okay Daniel. I can give you that. Maybe I did change. But my feelings have always been the same.”
“Feelings? Jack what are you talking about? While we are at it why did you retire so suddenly?”
Jack turned away and walked the few steps to the window and braced himself against the frame hanging his head. “Just forget it Daniel. There are some things that are never meant to be.”
Daniel frowned, got up and walked over to Jack. He put a hand on Jack’s shoulder. “Well brace yourself Jack. Maybe we lost track of our friendship in the horror of fighting for our lives and the Goa’uld, but then again maybe it has always been there. It could be that we just stopped giving it the time it needed. Whatever it is Jack, you can tell me.”
“No Danny I can’t, any more than I can change how I …oh crap Danny.” Jack punched the wall.
“Did that help?” Daniel sighed leaning over to look at Jacks hand. He noticed that Jack seemed to be trembling slightly. “Jack you’re shaking.”
“You’re imagining things,” Jack said snatching his hand away.
Daniel stood there as his mind started to add things up. Jack had feelings that were upsetting him. He’d only ever had wine at the house for him. When Daniel held his hand Jack was trembling. Something was gnawing at him and upsetting his conscience.
“Jack these feelings you keep referring to, do they have anything to do with…me?”
“Do you want something to eat Daniel? I was going to head out and grab some pizza.” Jack replied.
Daniel bit his lip and looked down. Jack was clearly avoiding the question, which in itself was an answer. So Jack had feelings about him and retired because of it. What was he going to do earlier? Of course, it all fit now. Jack had pushed him away when he realized his growing feelings for him. When he couldn’t handle it anymore he packed it in and retired quietly so no one would know he was attracted to Daniel.
“Your retirement, it’s because of me isn’t it?” Daniel said barely above a whisper.
“Don’t be ridiculous Daniel,” Jack said turning his back quickly and reaching for the phone.
“I’m not. What is ridiculous is that you felt you couldn’t tell me. I’m not into labels Jack. No matter what we still are friends. But if you want to be more than friends maybe we should start out by having a date first.”
Jack turned at stared at Daniel. “Holy crap, you’re serious.”
“Am I wrong Jack?” Daniel asked. “If this is what you want let me know. But the offer is only on the table for a short time.”
“Why would you even consider it?” Jack asked seriously.
“Look at my life Jack. Do you think I’m going to turn down a chance at happiness? It’s not like there hasn’t always been ‘something’ between us. Who am I to say that just because you are a man that it’s wrong? Haven’t we both seen how fragile life is?” Daniel put a hand on Jack’s shoulder then moved toward the door.
“Close your eyes,” Jack said softly.
Daniel nodded and closed his eyes. Jack put a hand on Daniel’s cheek then leaned over and kissed him. When Daniel’s arms pulled him closer Jack was glad they weren’t talking any more because he wouldn’t have been able to say a word past the lump in his throat. His heart screamed how much he loved the man in his arms but his brain screamed that he didn’t want to take advantage of the situation. Taking the kiss a step further, Jack’s hand wrapped around Daniel’s neck softly caressing the nape. Their tongues tentatively brushed against each other and they sighed together as one. Daniel took the initiative and slipped a hand under Jack’s shirt feeling the soft skin over the firm body taking his breath away.
Using his self-control born from years of military training Jack pulled away not wanting to force Daniel into anything, only to see Daniel smiling up at him before he whispered,”Close your eyes, Jack.”
Consent Unlikely by Keikokin [ - ]
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