CLFF challenge: My Doctor won't let me eat that anymore.
This fic has been known to induce the dreaded soda up the nose syndrome! Beware!
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Lex Luthor at age 82 grumbled a lot, especially during mealtimes. His long time partner Clark Kent, several years his junior, was very overprotective of him. This was never more evident than during mealtimes. He was only 'allowed' one drink at mealtime and the meal itself tended to consist of organic mush. Or at least it might as well have been for all the flavor it had.
Tonight their brood of children, and their grandchildren would be coming over to celebrate his birthday. He fully expected to starve with everyone hovering over him. Eighty-two was not the death sentence it once was. He had kept in shape and his doctor expected him to live well into his hundreds. Although if this was living, he thought while staring into the refrigerator, maybe he should jump over the penthouse balcony. Clark's super-hearing was going, so maybe he could get away with it. Lex sighed realizing he would need help to get his titanium hip to move enough to jump the railing. Being old sucked.
Ever since his hip and knee replacement, Clark had insisted he use a cane. He'd busted the first one over Clark's head for the suggestion. But even though Clark was slowly becoming more human all the time with his powers waning, he still had a head like iron and the cane shattered into splinters. His next one was made of solid gold. Lex had retired from LexCorp when he turned 75, turning over the reins to their eldest sons, leaving Lex bored and cranky.
As a result he and Clark kept each other amused through a series of pulling pranks and trying to out do each other. Clark, having given up the super-hero business to their younger sons, needed the distraction too. Superman had no choice but to retire as well when he found himself in Taiwan, and forgot why he'd flown there in the first place, and couldn’t even remember how to get home. Luckily Lex had the foresight to tag Clark's cape with a microchip, so he was able to bring his wayward partner back to Metropolis.
They'd considered traveling, but between the two of them they'd seen everything they cared to. Besides the family was growing so quickly that it seemed there was either a birthday, wedding or shower to attend. So they decided to just stay in the Penthouse in Metropolis. The children sometimes took pity on Clark and let him fly around the block with them. Lex was just such a fixture at LexTowers that he couldn’t think of staying anywhere else.
Lex sat down and sulked after reaching his favorite chair with heat and massage controls. He hated surprises and dreaded tonight's event. No matter how much Lex complained he couldn't convince Clark to let him spent his Golden years a happy epicurean, and the fare would be bland city.
Clark poked his silver head around the door and smiled tenderly at Lex before making his way into the room. "Brooding doesn't suit you."
"Then go away so you don't have to see it." Lex looked away.
"Should I call the clan and tell them not to come tonight?" Clark asked with concern.
Lex huffed. "I hate this Clark. Each year I get older and I feel like they are all waiting for me to drop."
"You know that isn't true Lex." Clark covered Lex's hand with his own.
Lex stared down at it. "That's the closest thing we've had to sex for months."
"If you weren't such a grump over your new diet, then maybe I'd be more interested," Clark groused.
"Well that's a lousy excuse to cut me off," Lex snapped back grumpily.
"Okay Lex, if we have sex than will you behave tonight and eat what you're supposed to?" Clark asked hopefully.
Lex shrugged and Clark figured it was the best answer he was going to get. They began to slowly cuddle, and then kiss. Even foreplay took longer at this age. But Lex was still a master in the bedroom and Clark was soon squirming underneath him.
"Lex please, it's been so long," Clark groaned.
"What do you want now?" Lex grumbled. He was on a roll and didn't want to be interrupted.
"Please go down on me like you used to do before," Clark begged.
Lex smirked with malicious intent, seeing his revenge at long last spread before him like a jewel waiting to be plucked from an open safe. "Well, Clark I don't think I can."
Clark's face was a mixture of desperate desire and concern over Lex's health. "Is it your hips or your knees?"
With his best expression of disappointment on his face Lex replied, "Neither, my doctor won't let me eat that anymore."
Lex's birthday party heralded the return of all his favorite foods – including those not on the menu.
Eating Habits by Keikokin [ - ]
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