****************************************************
“Wow, that’s a great picture,” Sam said looking over Daniel’s shoulder. “Has he seen it yet?”
Daniel shook his head. He looked back down at the picture in its silver and black frame. It was a black and white of him and Jack side-by-side. They were both wearing black t-shirts and Daniel had the picture, which was taken by Janet, developed on black and white film. He had fallen in love with the picture, which seemed to convey so much more than the friendship between them, something it seemed only he had noticed. They were more, he and Jack, beyond team mates, brother and friends, so much more it was frightening.
He’d always been afraid of change. Nothing ever seemed to turn out right. But the wind of change was long overdue in this case. He was bound and determined to give Jack the picture for his birthday. Then he would tell Jack how he felt. If Jack refused him then he would always have this picture to remind him of what was being tossed aside.
“You two really look good together,” Janet said looked on from Daniel’s other side. Daniel smiled at this, not letting go of the picture. The magic of the moment seemed to fill his dreams as he stared down at the present.
“Yeah, well I just wanted to show you how it turned out before I went to Jack’s.” Daniel shrugged against the encroaching fear in his heart.
“I appreciate you coming over,” Janet smiled walking Daniel out to the door with Samantha at her heels.
“So how old is he this year?” Samantha asked curiously.
“39 again,” Daniel grinned putting on his coat. Janet snorted. Sam giggled. “Well, here’s to hoping he likes it. I’ll see you Monday.”
The girls nodded then closed the door behind Daniel. They looked at each other seriously heading back out to the kitchen to share a drink.
“Do you think he’s going to finally tell him?” Sam twiddled the wine cooler between her fingers.
“Let’s just hope that if Daniel does that Jack doesn’t act like an ass,” Janet frowned. Sam sighed, nodded and looked toward the door, hoping her friends weren’t about to become bitter enemies.
**
Daniel frowned as he rang the bell again, what was it now the fourth time? Feeling a trickle of apprehension he searched his key ring for the spare Jack had given him years ago. Daniel opened the door and walked in noticing right away how quiet it was.
“Jack?” Daniel called out, over the feeling of dread rising in his chest. He lay the present down on the coffee table in the living room and walked through the house. “Jack? It’s Daniel. Where are you?”
Still frowning Daniel headed toward Jack’s bedroom. Maybe he had pulled the covers over his head and was trying to block out this birthday. After all Jack loved parties but hated his own birthdays. There was no one there either, but Daniel had seen Jack’s truck in the driveway. Rounding on his heels he headed toward the garage.
He opened up the garage door but didn’t see Jack there either. “Hello? Jack, are you out here?”
“Danny,” came a strangled gasp. Daniel ran around Jack’s work bench to find Jack on the cold cement floor wheezing and clutching his chest.
“Oh god, Jack!” Daniel kneeled down along side his friend and whipped out his cel phone. Hitting redial he called Janet’s house.
“Hello, Frasier here,” came the cheerful reply.
“Janet it’s Daniel. I’m at Jack’s come quick we’re in the garage. I think he’s had a heart attack!!” Daniel closed the phone and cradled Jack in his arms. Jack was pale with droplets of sweat on his face revealing his level of pain.
“I’m here Jack, I’m here. I called Janet, she’s on her way. Just hang in there Jack, please god, don’t leave me,” Daniel tried to open Jack’s coat near the neck to give more breathing space.
“Hurts,” Jack managed to say, looking like it took great effort to get it out.
“I know Jack, please just hang in there. We’ve been through too god damned much for you to check out on me now. Just conserve your strength.” An ambulance siren could be heard in the distance and Daniel willed it to hurry up. “Help is on its way Jack.”
“Danny,” Jack pulled Daniel closer to whisper in his ear. “Have to tell…”
“Jack please save your strength,” Daniel could feel the tears running down his face, hear the ambulance parking outside the garage, but it all was like a horrible slow motion of the worst scene out of a movie.
“Danny I…” Jack was interrupted once more as the garage door opened and paramedics rushed inside.
“Over here!” Daniel yelled. He looked back down to Jack whose face was pinched and white in pain from the effort of trying to talk.
“Step back sir, let us do our job,” a paramedic gently pushed Daniel out of the way. Reluctantly Daniel let go, standing up, watching dazedly as Jack was fitted with a breathing mask, and things were taped to his chest. In a fog he felt arms holding him up on each side. As if he was watching some sick play he noticed Janet was climbing over the gurney being put under Jack to talk to him.
“Jack its Janet. We’re taking you to the hospital, it’s closer than the base.” She turned to the paramedics. “I’m his doctor, and I’m coming with you.” The paramedics nodded and Janet helped them get Jack into the ambulance. As the doors began to close Daniel suddenly jerked forward out of his fugue.
“I’M GOING TOO!” he yelled dashing toward the ambulance. Janet nodded at the paramedic next to her, shifting she took over Jack’s care as Daniel climbed aboard. It was a tight squeeze.
“I’ll be right behind you!” Sam’s voice rang out and Daniel wondered idly when she arrived. Then mused that it had been Sam holding him up, before the doors closed with a heavy thud and he seemed to be in yet another world.
It was cold, sterile and frightening in the ambulance. Jacks’ eyes flittered open and Daniel took his hand holding it tightly trying to offer some measure of assurance. Then the brown eyes closed. Daniel wanted to scream in fear that they should stay open and never close, but he couldn’t speak past the lump in his throat. His rational mind wanted to know why it was taking so long to get to the hospital, despite the almost sea-sick feeling he was getting while the driver wove through traffic to get them there quickly.
Daniel began to mutter prayers in every language he knew, that Jack would be okay. It seemed like hours before the ambulance stopped, the back doors were flung open and he was following Jack into the emergency room. Janet stopped him, shaking him a bit to bring him back to reality, “Daniel you have to wait here. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
Nodding like an automaton Daniel watched as Jack was pushed through a set of double doors and vanished. His arms wrapped around his torso in a well learned defense pose. This is how Sam found him staring at the double doors like a zombie, when she arrived.
“Daniel, come on let’s go find some coffee and wait,” Sam pulled Daniel out of the corridor and toward the waiting rooms. At the perimeter of his mind Daniel heard Sam crying and put his arm around her without thought. Eventually they were joined by Teal’c and General Hammond, as they waited for what seemed like days. A slow procession of SGC personnel from the base began to fill the room. Daniel dimly recognized various members from all the SG teams; filter in to wait it out. George seemed very proud of the solidarity being shown but Daniel’s mind was too focused on Jack to really thing about much else.
Eventually Janet came out and half the room stood at attention. She looked around in surprise at all the military, giving a curt nod before turning to Daniel. “My forms are all back at the base but Jack put you down as next of kin on his living will. We need your consent in case we have to operate.”
What? Daniel’s mind whirled then his mouth moved without a conscious act of will,” Do whatever you need to.” Janet nodded, squeezed his arm then left through the damn double doors.
“I suppose it’s a good thing Jack did that, good thing too you were here son,” George Hammond squeezed Daniel’s shoulder. Daniel nodded numbly. Small talk took place of the quiet but Daniel didn’t even pretend to follow any of it. Eventually he got up and stood by the double doors looking through the double glass hoping to see Jack.
Robotically, he drank foul tasting coffee that was pushed into his hand. He looked at his watch countless times, thinking about what Jack O’Neill meant to him. Sitting back down his mind eventually noticed that many people in the room were talking about what Jack O’Neill meant to them, too. There were snippets of conversation filtering through his numb consciousness. Jack O’ Neill the party animal, the jokester, the father, the mentor, the friend; everyone seemed to have been touched in some way by this man. Daniel lowered his head, trying not to cry.
An exhausted looking Janet finally re-appeared holding up her hands as the room jumped up at her arrival. “He’s okay. There won’t be a need for invasive surgery though we did some work to expand his breathing pathways. He’ll be home in a few days.”
She turned to leave the room, while many of the happily relieved visitors grabbed their coats vowing to toast the luck of O’Neill at the nearest bar. Daniel reached out, grabbing her arm before she left the room again.
“Can he have visitors?” Daniel asked amazed his vocal chords still worked.
She looked up at him with sympathetic doe-like eyes. “Only for a minute Daniel.” Looking over her shoulder to nod at Sam she started to usher Daniel out only to be stopped again. Sam pushed the picture that Daniel was going to give Jack into his hands with a tight lipped smile that threatened to turn into a torrent of tears at any moment. Janet smiled brightly then ushered Daniel through the double doors, down a corridor and into a room.
Jack lay on the bed looking more like a broken rag doll then Daniel had ever dreamed possible. “I’ll be right back,” Janet whispered closing the curtain behind her.
Daniel walked up to Jack’s side, brushing aside the hair from his forehead. Jack’s eyes fluttered open to reveal the smiling brown eyes Daniel so adored.
“Hey Jack.” Daniel gave what he hoped was a smile but he couldn’t be sure, every nerve and emotion seemed stretched to the limit. Jack raised a hand but couldn’t talk because of the breathing mask he had on. Daniel reached out, grabbing the hand before pulling it tightly to his chest. Jack smiled weakly then looked to Daniel’s other hand with a raised eyebrow. Daniel looked down and seeing the silver foil wrapped gift felt foolish for forgetting it was even there.
“I, um, came over to your house to give you a birthday present. But with everything,…” Daniel started to shake and Jack tightly clenched his hand. “Right, well I’m sorry you aren’t having much of a happy birthday Jack. It’s not quite what I had in mind for it, or you either I’m sure. Do you want to see it?”
Jack nodded encouragingly. Daniel unwrapped the gift for him then turned it so Jack could see it. “I wanted you to always remember that no matter what …” a repressed sob came out instead of what he wanted to say. Daniel could feel the dam of emotion he’d so carefully kept at bay during the past few hours begin to break. “That is to say, god Jack. I love you so much. When I thought I was going to lose you today, I…” a tear rolled down his check as Jack took the shaking picture from his hands, laid it on his stomach then gently pulled Daniel to him. Daniel finally lost it. And Jack, despite lying on a hospital bed, held him and comforted him as he cried.
Janet peeked in the curtains and gave them another few minutes, too touched by the scene to break them apart. Eventually though she had to make sure Jack got his rest, reluctantly she opened up the curtains. Jack ruffled Daniel’s hair and smiled touching the picture to show he liked it. Daniel smiled back then looked up with a tear stained face at Janet. “When can he go home?’
“He has to stay overnight for observation, then I might be able to get him moved to the base. Once I’M satisfied he’s recovered he can go home, maybe at the end of the week. But he might need someone to keep an eye on him.” She winked. Daniel caught the tone of voice that clearly stated Janet’s idea of a hospital was far superior to the one they were in presently. Jack grunted and shook the picture as if to say who would be watching him.
Daniel grinned. “I volunteer.”
“Good. Now you can come back in the morning to see him. With any luck you can see him get transferred from here to the base hospital.” Janet patted Daniel on the back then left the enclosure again.
Standing up, Daniel pulled himself back together to turn and go but found he had to do one more thing first. He leaned over, gently kissing Jack on the forehead before leaving. Jack smiled at the gesture then stared at the picture until he fell asleep.
**
Daniel rolled his neck from side-to-side trying to work out the kinks that had settled there overnight. He had been driven back to his loft by Sam but found he couldn’t sleep. Eventually he drove over to Jack’s house; let himself inside, falling asleep on the couch.
He smiled entering Jack’s enclosed area to see the picture of them tightly held in Jack’s hand. Sitting down in the molded orange atrocity that passed for furniture, he waited for Jack to wake up. Eventually the long, dark lashes fluttered then Jack opened his eyes.
“Hey Jack, miss me?” Daniel squeezed Jack’s hand again. Jack nodded, squeezing back as Janet bustled in through the curtains.
“Okay Colonel, they’re going to release you so you can be transferred back to base. Normally, I would require you to eat and drink something before you go. But,” she leaned forward conspiratorially to whisper,” We all know that even military food beats out hospital food.” She stood back up with a wink,” So if you could just drink something. What would you like ginger ale or apple juice?” Jack pointed upwards at the later. Janet nodded, left returning a moment later with a small container with a straw.
“Make sure he drinks it all, and keeps it down,” Janet looked seriously at Daniel, enough so that he gave a sloppy salute in reply. Daniel managed to get Jack to drink after a bit of coughing.
“Danny,” Jack rasped out after his drink. Janet came back in but Jack’s eyes never left Daniel’s. “Ditto.” Daniel frowned at the cryptic message in confusion.
“That’s enough talking for today,” Janet said firmly. “I see you listen to Dr. Jackson better than me. It’s a good thing I’m releasing you to his care this week.” She winked at Daniel. “It’s time to take you to the base.” Daniel got out of the way as two airmen with a gurney came in and Jack was unhooked from the oxygen but still retained his IV bag.
He drove over to the base as he turned over what Jack said in his mind. It wasn’t until he was parking his car that a smile broke across his face. “Ditto. He loves me too.” With a spring in his step he went down to the infirmary, only to find it filled to the brim.
Daniel was dismayed to find it was almost impossible to get near Jack on base. Everyone was dropping by to visit him. So Daniel did what he did best burying himself in work to avoid feeling hurt, trying not to begrudge others their time to see Jack.
On the third day, Daniel’s phone rang in his office waking him out of his work induced stupor. “Jackson.”
“What’s a guy got to do to see the person he most wants to see around here?” Jack’s voice was strong and clear on the other end of the line.
“Well, if SOME people weren’t so popular it would be easy for a guy to have a visitor,” Daniel replied happy to hear Jack sounding so well.
“Do I have to come down there?” Jack retaliated.
“I’ll be right there,” Daniel hung up the phone, making his way quickly to the infirmary.
Janet patted him on the back when he arrived. “Do me a favor and take him home!”
“Hey Doc, I heard that,” Jack called out. Daniel looked over to see Jacks’ face split in a grin. “Dannyboy!”
“Jack, haven’t you been behaving yourself?”
“What fun is that?” Jack patted the side of his bed where he was lying dressed on top of the covers. “When do I get sprung?”
“I can take you home today,” Daniel grinned.
“Sweet, let’s go!” Jack swung his legs over to the side as soon as Daniel got up. Daniel was given a list of instructions on the care and feeding of a ‘39 and holding’ Air Force Colonel. He frowned looking over the long list.
“Have any duct tape?” Daniel groused.
“Aw, come on I can make you smile,” Jack grinned. Daniel turned quizzical blue eyes on him. “Ditto.”
A large smile blossomed on Daniel’s face. “Ditto Jack. Ditto.”
Black and White by Keikokin [ - ]
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