Boredom had caught up with the Voyager crew
And Q knew just what to do!
So one fine day he popped in out of the blue,
And the Captain said “Gee I’m almost glad to see you!”
And the omnipotent one declared “Oh Captain you make me cry .. Boo-hoo!”
My dear Katherine you are in a funk!
Perhaps I should turn you into a skunk!
But no I suppose you’d ride me out of town on a rail
Instead for a start let’s make your doctor a female!
Time for more fun! Was Q’s joyous acclaim.
Let’s change Chuckles to an Ocampan
Let’s teach Helmboy some Klingon stomping!
Let’s show the Klingon bitch to be a sensitive Betazed witch.
Let’s make the Borg a human..PU!
And give Katherine some Native American Color!
Woo-hooo what a blast pity it won’t last but oh what fun for a day or two lets have some more fun in the Voyager zoo!
Q started to dance around a fire with a cauldron too
In witch-like garb he chuckled and wove a spell on the crew!
Vulcan and Taloxian you have an itch!
Let them do the Galaxian switch!
Turning back into the Q
He said "Oh dear Capitan its not my fault humans are adaptable too."
In a blink of a zoodle the Q had gone away
And left a neon sign that counted down one day
------------------------------------------------------
With a whiz and a woo and a cala-bar-am
The He was a She with a new altered pro-gram!
The pompous doctor was blown to bits
When he looked down the front of his uniform to discover he had tits!
But surprise turned to astonishment
With his new heavenly locks as adornment!
Then in through the door
Came the Seven of Nine he did always adore!
She was in shock! “You are a woman!” she was heard to claim.
“It is quite true but my feelings for you are still the same”
Sevens head was really swimming
For little did the Doc know she really liked Women!
The Ex-Lady Borg did not know what to say
And finally managed to sputter “I’m gay!”
And the new “Zimmy” giggled “I guess I am too”
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
But enough of this back to the bridge and the rest of the crew…
These two will figure out soon enough what to do!
-----------------------------------------
Q the omnipotent and was sputtering with glee with all the goings on in sickbay the others could not see
They were in shock of the doctor being a girl
And it had set their minds in tremendous whirl
---------------------------------------------
Now Tom Paris growled with desire
For the Ocampain Commander had set his heart on fire.
The Ocampain was bit on the cheek
By a half Klingon pilot who had never been meek
Chakotay was over Toms shoulder with nary a shriek
Replete with Batlath Tom backed away
And beamed away to parts unknown - not to be seen of for the rest of the day
-------------------------------------------------------------
The Captain was meditating on the fate of her crew
While she drank a mulberry brew and her hair covered her new tattoo
The thought of how her lover her change made her want to brood
When B’Elanna walked in a said “I can sense your mood! And I want something and its sure not food!”
The engineers’ ridges were gone and her hair was long!
And “I sense something Captain” had become her new theme song
“Enough of that! The Captain did say
And whisked her to her bed straight away!
Down in the mess hall the remaining crew was ecstatic
As Tuvok had seemed to become Taloxian-erratic!
He told jokes, sang songs and entertained them with Vulcan stories all the daylong!
Meanwhile Tuvok ala Neelix had known this was his chance all along!
The once Vulcan switched all the food stocks, recipes and every last cookie,
And at completion, did hunt down Mr. Kim for some long overdue Nookie!
The ensign was shocked as a man sounding like Neelix
But with the emotions of Mr. Tuvok entered his room half-crocked!
Swearing an oath in Talaxonese
He jumped the unsuspecting young man knocking him to his knees!
His cock was fair for the plunder
A Tuv-ex cock-tale spell the Ensign was under!
Long away deep into the night
Harry asked Neelix if he was all right!
In the morning the crew was fearful sight
The Q effected changes kept them up all night!
In the quarters of Chakotay the Lieutenant put the Commander through school when asked, “What the hell is the height rule?”
I keep telling you it doesn't go there! Said the restored Borg as she did swear. But the doctor was a little dim and looking in his user manual said, “What? It says right here to just shove it in.” Upon seeing her golden locks that looked like a perfect cat he asked, “Is it supposed to look like that?”
And in the halls was heard a Vulcan swear
When overhearing “Ha! I told you he wore pink underwear.
(You see he knew he had lost them somewhere!)
As the Captain called off for the day and ordered a replicated set of rings. A hungover Taloxian asked, “So what is average for these things?”
Poor Neelix held his head
A long time, was the answer he did dread.
He stated to ponder what drove him to this end
And culminated in the pain it did rend
“Gee I thought the Ensign and I were strictly platonic… Who knew cooking could be so erotic?”
Voyager a la Seuss by Keikokin [ - ]
[[Report This]]