Title: A Man of Few Words
Author: Kenaf
Word Count: 1,824 words
Date: 2/28/2005
Daniel was sensitive. As long as he could remember he’d always been classified as such. Maybe it was because he’d been through so damn much. Enough where he now ran on auto-response, when someone asked how he was he would answer with what they wanted to hear,” I’m fine.” It had always worked really well up to now.
Jack O’Neill could see an amazing amount of pain in Daniel’s eyes today. When he asked how Daniel was he expected the ever ready “I’m fine.” But Daniel seemed unable to speak. It was killing Jack to see Daniel this way.
“You’re coming with me, no ifs ands or buts.” He put an arm around Daniel’s shoulder, locked up his office then proceeded to Daniel’s to lock up his. Then with Daniel still unable to say a word they left the mountain, a little ahead of schedule. Jack flipped open his phone and turned it off. Then he helped Daniel get into his truck. Concern continued to fill him as Daniel didn’t say a word the entire way. Daniel had wrapped his arms around himself and shut down.
Since Daniel’s apartment was a little closer Jack drove them there. Maybe on terra firma his friend would be able to release his inner demons. Granted Daniel was a sensitive guy. But he wasn’t one to just fall apart or even shut down without a DAMN good reason. As they reached apartment 8-3 Daniel automatically opened the door. He walked past the hallway that opened up onto the kitchen and work area. Much to Jack’s relief he headed straight back to the bedroom away from the balcony.
Daniel sat on the edge of the bed, took off his glasses and fought with himself not to cry in front of Jack. He was immensely grateful to the man for taking care of him and taking charge like that. That was one of the things Daniel loved about Jack was that he was always there when you needed him. It was as sure as the sun rising in the east. If you couldn’t trust Jack O’Neill then you’re better off not living.
Jack stood in the doorway a moment then said, “Crap Danny. I can’t handle seeing you like this. “He sat down next to Daniel and pulled him into his arms. It was all he could think of to do. Daniel made a whimpering sound, cursed himself for being weak and sensitive. Jack felt the man in his arms tremble and knew he was fighting back crying. “Let it out Danny. It’s not doing you any good eating you up alive. But when you want to talk, you know I’m here right?”
Daniel looked up and Jack saw the single solitary tear running down Daniel’s face. Jack reached over and wiped it away; noticing as he did Daniel leaned into this gesture like it was a life raft. Just as Jack was deliberating what that could mean he noticed another tear fall, this time out of the other eye. Daniel rubbed his tear away then his face with both hands. He looked up at Jack and sighed. Getting up he walked over to his computer. Jack followed him knowing Daniel well enough that if he couldn’t speak with words he’d use actions.
He watched over Daniel’s shoulder resting a supportive hand on it. Daniel pulled up an archeological web group of sorts. He showed many papers of his that were posted on it and the very positive feedback. Under another name Daniel had managed to post tidbits of knowledge about ancient civilizations. Many commented that it seemed to take off from Doctor Daniel Jackson’s work to which Daniel under his pen name had only thanked them.
Daniel then switched to several files showing many emails, correspondence and shared information by fellow archaeologists that he obviously had grown close to. Then a few of these people Jack saw on the next page Daniel brought up had torn him to little shreds. Jack noticed the emails that had come today. Daniel got up and gestured to Jack to sit down. With a nod Jack began to read. How could these people treat Daniel like this and they had claimed to be his friends? It was hurtful, spiteful and had obviously torn down what self-esteem Daniel had managed to gain.
Jack hung his head. Daniel had lost his reputation as a double doctorate, highly intelligent archaeologist and linguist. He’d lost his home, grant and life when the Air Force had picked him up for the Stargate program. But despite his success in the program who could he tell? It was all highly classified information. Daniel had been so desperate for some affirmation of self-worth he had turned to using pen names and telling only what was safe. Despite the pain that Daniel was in he’d still kept the Stargate program a secret.
Getting up Jack found Daniel on the edge of the bed and gathered him into his arms again. “Daniel you are better then all of them put together.” The younger man sighed and shook his head. “Damnit, I don’t know how many times we would have been TOTALLY screwed if you hadn’t used your skills, your courage and bravery to pull us through. I owe you my life several times over, we all do. Shit how many times have you saved the world? Daniel please don’t get on that damn computer and make yourself a target for those ingrates.”
Daniel looked up in silent amazement at Jack. That was very likely the longest speech he’d ever heard him say. “I’m sorry Jack. I never meant to drag you into this or cause you such an inconvenience. He pulled away, got up and held himself.
“Holy shit Daniel, what the fuck? How low can your self-esteem go? This is me, your old buddy Jack. We take care of each other that’s what we do! I volunteered for this and it’s not an inconvenience. I hate seeing you in this much pain!’
“Jack you don’t have to stay. I’m sure you have better things to do. Face it Jack, we haven’t been best friends for a long time.” Daniel looked out the back window toward the balcony.
“Neither do you. Pack a bag Danny you’re headed to my place. It’s time we patched things back up. I shouldn’t have distanced myself from you.” Jack hung his head.
“You distanced yourself from me? Do I aggravate you that much? You can’t stand me either?” Another tear slid down Daniel’s cheek before he turned around so Jack wouldn’t see it. But Jack had already seen it.
“Crap Danny, it’s not that! Would I be asking you to come over if it was that? Why the hell would I even be here?” Jack yelled.
“Fine! Then why the hell are you here? Why did you distance yourself from me?” Daniel yelled in return his pain turning easily into anger.
“Because I …” Jack began then turned around. “No, it is not happening this way.”
Daniel grabbed Jack and turned him back to face him. He was mere inches away from the other man as he got right up into his personal space. “Because you what? And what is not happening this way? What the hell is going on Jack? You totally tuned me right out of your life and I deserve to know why!”
Jack grabbed Daniel by the shoulders. “Please don’t do this Danny. I can’t tell you, not like this. Can you just calm down first?”
Something in Jack’s voice made Daniel frown. “Jack? What happened between us? Is there something about me that drives everyone away?” Daniel asked in a cracked voice.
“Danny please, you… don’t want to know,” Jack sighed. “There is nothing about you that drives people away Danny. I said those people aren’t worth your time and I meant it. There’s a lot of people who…” Jack bit his lip and looked with concern at Daniel.
“Who what Jack?” Daniel asked looking at Jack seriously.
“For crying out loud Danny, what the hell do you expect me to say?” Jack asked tightening his grip on Daniel’s shoulders.
“The truth Jack if you expect to me to ever believe you again,” Daniel sighed.
Jack groaned. “Close your eyes and promise not to hit me.”
“What?” Daniel almost laughed except the look on Jack’s face was dead serious.
Jack sighed. “Please promise.”
“Um, okay I promise Jack even though I don’t understand the relevance to anything.”
“Trust me Danny it will make perfect sense in a minute.”
Shaking his head Daniel closed his eyes. Jack gulped. Gathering his courage he leaned over and kissed Daniel with the briefest of contacts. His lips brushed softly over Daniel’s. He pulled away quickly and in time to see Daniel’s eyes pop open and go wide with both surprise and realization.
“Jack? Are you in love with me?” Daniel whispered in shock.
“Are you mad?” Jack replied.
“No. Should I be?” Daniel grinned.
“Um, why aren’t you?” Jack asked.
Daniel shook his head leaned up and returned the kiss. His lips touched Jack’s with just a bit more force than Jack had done moments before. “That’s why not,” he said pulling away after a very brief contact.
Jack broke into a large smile.” Well, I’ll be.” He pulled Daniel close and gave him a real kiss. His lips brushed against Daniel’s then they both leaned into it, wrapping their arms around each other as they did. They both began to slowly move increasing the pressure before their mouth’s opened and tongue’s sought out each other, sending a surge of heated electricity through them that left each man a bit dazed, when the kiss ended.
“So does that offer to stay at your place still stand, or are you staying here?” Daniel grinned.
“We can go to my place tomorrow,” Jack whispered pulling Daniel in for another kiss. They both smiled at each other as it ended.
“Jack what about the military, your career?” Daniel bit his lip nervously.
“Fuck them Danny. I’ve retired before, if I can’t handle this at work then I walk,” Jack shrugged.
Daniel’s mouth dropped. “You’re serious.”
“Ohyeahsureyoubetcha,” Jack laughed. “I’ve been looking forward to getting away from the politics, the Go’uld’s and everything else for a real long time now.” Jack’s face turned serious as he rubbed a thumb over the stubble that Daniel was starting to show this late in the day. “But this is a reason I could only hope for.”
Words failed Daniel so he just wrapped his arms tighter around Jack and felt the security and strength of the man surround him. He suddenly understood why Jack had spoken with action rather than words. But his love spoke volumes, even if he was a man of few words.
A Man of Few Words by Keikokin [ - ]
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