Summary: How does Ben react when a cure is found for his HIV?
Rating: NC-17
Archive Date: 15 March 2006
Notes: Spoilers for Seasons 1 and 2. Contains references to the death of a minor character.
Michael and Ben were in the bathroom, getting ready to face the day. Michael had just finished brushing his teeth, when all of a sudden he looked at their reflections in the mirror and exclaimed, "Oh my God!"
Ben looked over at him in horror, until he realized that Michael was now giggling. "What is it, baby?"
Michael just pointed at the mirror and said, "Look!"
Ben looked, but he couldn't figure out what Michael was referring to. "Look at what?" he asked.
Michael pointed to the smattering of gray hairs he saw near his temples. "When did this happen?" he asked. "When did I get old? For that matter, when did you get old?" pointing at Ben's graying temples. It was so unfair, gray hairs stood out so much more against his jet black hair than Ben's did against his sandy blond hair.
Ben smiled, and hugged Michael to his side. "It was bound to happen at some point," he reasoned.
"I know," Michael replied, "I guess we've just been so busy living in the 'now' that the future kind of snuck up on us. Do you realize that we've been married for almost seven years now?"
Ben nodded, then said, "You do realize that means..."
"Don't say it!" Michael warned.
"You're about to be..."
Michael put his hands over his ears, saying "la la la la...I can't hear you!"
"40"
Michael dropped his hands and head in defeat. "I told you not to say it," he grumbled, good-naturedly.
Ben put a finger under Michael's chin, tipped his head up and gazed into his brown eyes. "Don't worry about it, Brown Eyes. I survived the 'big 4-0', you'll make it too," and planted a soft kiss on Michael's pouting lips.
As they sat at the table, eating breakfast and reading the newspaper, it was Ben's turn to utter the words, "Oh my God!"
Michael got up to look over Ben's shoulder to see what had prompted such a response. Ben pointed to the article he was reading. The headline read:
"Cure for AIDS/HIV Found"
Ben started quoting text from the article. "The Center for Disease Control (CDC) announced that the drug company PharRX has isolated the causes of HIV and AIDS, and has been able to produce a treatment that has been proven in lab tests to completely cure these devastating diseases. The FDA has given approval for these treatments to be administered by physicians across the country. Expect to see a large response by the public as millions of sufferers look to finally be free from these afflictions."
Ben dropped the paper to the table, a look of utter amazement on his face. He'd been dealing with his HIV-positive status for so long, over ten years; it didn't seem possible that the end was finally within his grasp.
Michael was not so sedate in his response, though. He grabbed the newspaper and flung it up into the air, whooping and hollering like there was no tomorrow. He plopped himself into Ben's lap, wrapped his arms around his neck and kissed him all over his face. "Can you believe it?" Michael asked. "No more meds, no more hospital scares, no more worrying about every little cough?"
Ben hugged Michael, and then scooted him off his lap, saying, "Yeah, it's great. Sorry to eat and run, but I have some paperwork to deal with before my first class. I'll see you this afternoon. Have a good day at the store. I love you." He picked up his briefcase, gave Michael a quick kiss good-bye, and then he was gone.
Michael just stared at the door that Ben softly closed as he walked out of the house, puzzled by his husband's response. He figured Ben would be first in line at his doctor's office to get treatment for his HIV. The ringing of their phone jolted him out of his confused state, and he picked up the receiver. "Hello?" he answered.
"Michael! We just read the newspaper! Can you believe it? I bet Ben's just beside himself with excitement!" Debbie screamed from the other end of the phone line.
"Hi, Ma," Michael said. "Yes, we're very excited. Ben had to leave early to do some paperwork or I'd let you talk to him. We'll catch you and Carl up tomorrow night when we come over for dinner. Do you want us to bring anything?"
"No, just seeing the two of you will be thrilling enough. We'll see you then!" Debbie exclaimed as she hung up the phone.
There were several people waiting at the store when Michael got there to open for the day. Pretty much all of his clients knew that Ben was HIV-positive, and they were there to offer their congratulations. Michael accepted their hugs and good wishes, but he had to be vague about when Ben would start treatment, since they hadn't had a chance to talk about it.
Things started to settle down as the morning wore on, allowing Michael some time to try and digest what had happened that morning. He couldn't figure out Ben's response, which was odd, since he could almost always figure out what his husband was thinking. As he sat at the counter racking his brains, he heard the bell over the door ring, and saw Brian saunter in. He leaned over the counter and gave Michael a quick kiss, and said, "Congratulations. I guess the Professor will be cured soon."
"You would think so, wouldn't you?" Michael asked. "He seemed so nonchalant this morning, and left the house before we could talk about it at all. It's almost as if it didn't happen, or that it didn't matter to him."
Brian studied his best friend for a few moments, seeing confusion on his face. "Hunter" was all he said.
"Hunter?" Michael asked, tears forming in his eyes. "What does Hunter have to do with any of this?"
Hunter had passed away the year before, almost destroying Ben and Michael's marriage. It had hit Ben especially hard, and Michael had had a hard time helping Ben get through his grief. Ben had finally gone to see a counselor to help sort out his feelings, and save their marriage.
"Ben couldn't save Hunter," Brian continued, "so maybe he feels guilty about saving himself."
Michael just stared at Brian, letting his words sink in. "No, that can't be it. He wouldn't do that, would he? He wouldn't do that to me. No, that can't be it, it must be something else."
After dinner that night, Ben sat on the couch, reading a book. He'd been pretty quiet all evening, making Michael wonder even more about what was going on his mind. He finally decided to push Ben to get this straightened out once and for all.
"So did you get a chance to call the doctor?" Michael asked.
"No, I didn't have the time," was Ben's response.
"Are you going to?"
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Is this about Hunter?"
"What makes you think that?"
"Brian said...."
"What the fuck does Brian know about this?" Ben spat out, his blue eyes blazing.
"I don't know...you tell me," Michael responded, crossing his arms across his chest.
Ben just sat there, staring at Michael.
"Fine, don't tell me," Michael finally said. "I'll be upstairs when you decide you want to talk."
"How could I get cured?" Ben whispered. "How could I do that when I couldn't save our son?"
"I thought you loved me," said Michael, still defiant.
"I do love you, what does that have to do with anything?"
"So you're willing to die and leave me alone just because you feel guilty?"
"It's not like that."
"Yes it is. I was sad when Hunter died, but I would be devastated if I were to lose you."
Again, all Ben could do was stare, wordlessly.
"Like I said, I'll be upstairs when you want to talk. Just remember we're having dinner with my mom and Horvath tomorrow night, and she'll be much more demanding than I'm being." With that Michael went upstairs, leaving Ben alone with his thoughts.
Several hours later, Ben went upstairs to find Michael in their bed, reading. He came over and sat on the edge of the bed. Michael lay down his book, and looked at him expectantly.
"I'm sorry. You were right; I was letting Hunter's death affect my judgment. Just when I think I've finally accepted his death and moved on, something like this happens and I'm right back where I started." Ben hung his head, his shoulders slumped in defeat.
Michael moved over to him, wrapping his arms around Ben to comfort him. "You're not right back where you started; at least you're talking about it this time."
"I suppose."
"Maybe you should go and see your counselor again, for a few sessions anyway, to help you through this, and to make sure you are ready to talk to the doctor about this treatment for your HIV."
"Good idea." Ben was finally feeling a little better. "Hey...when did you get to be so wise? That's supposed to be my job."
Michael giggled, and then said, "I learned from the best."
Ben turned around to gather Michael close to him, then nuzzled his neck and whispered in his ear, "Sounds as if 40 is going to suit you well."
When they got to Debbie and Carl's house for dinner the next night, they were surprised to see that all of their friends were there as well, waiting to celebrate Ben's imminent cure from his HIV-positive status. Ben glared at Michael, who just said, "Ben, I had no idea, I swear. This was all my mom's doing, I promise." Ben was somewhat placated by this, but still overwhelmed, and not sure how he was going to be able to handle the next few hours. As Ted, Emmett, and even Brian came up to Ben to hug him and say "Congratulations," Michael squeezed his hand in a show of support, then dragged Debbie into the kitchen to talk to her privately.
"How could you do this without telling us?" Michael hissed.
"It wouldn't have been a surprise if I'd told you," she replied.
"Ben's not ready for this."
"Why not?"
"He's feeling guilty about receiving a cure for his HIV when he couldn't save Hunter from the same thing."
"That's ridiculous."
"No, it's not, and I'll thank you not to say the same thing to Ben."
"How is his dying going to save Hunter?"
"It's not, but it's not that straight-forward to him, not right now. I suggested that he go back to his grief counselor to work through this before receiving treatment. Now promise me that you'll keep quiet about this."
"But..."
"Promise!"
"Okay, I promise," she grumbled.
"Good. Now I'm going to go rescue him to get him some breathing room so he doesn't retreat any further." Michael kissed his mom on the cheek, and then went in search of his husband.
"Ben? Honey? Could you help me take these garbage bags out to the curb?"
"Yeah...sure."
"How are you holding up?"
"Just barely."
Michael reached up to hug Ben, holding him tight, willing him to relax and stay calm. Ben returned the embrace, taking slow, deep breaths, enjoying the feel of his husband's love surrounding him.
Michael pulled back a little bit to look into Ben's face, and said, "I had a long talk with my mom, and explained that you were having a hard time with this decision, and she promised to lay off."
"Thanks."
"We'll get through this....we always do."
"I know."
"I love you"
"I love you too, Brown Eyes."
"Happy Birthday, Baby!"
Michael cautiously opened one eye to see Ben standing in the doorway, holding a tray of food, presumably to serve him breakfast in bed. Michael closed his eye, rolled over and pulled the covers up over his head to hide.
"Rise and shine, birthday boy," Ben continued. "You can't just hide and make the day go away." He set the tray down on the dresser, and then pulled back the covers, much to Michael's dismay.
"I don't want to be 40," Michael pouted.
"Too bad, not a thing you can do about it. Besides, haven't you heard? 40 is the new 30." Ben was waaaay too chipper this morning.
"I didn't want to be 30 either," was Michael's retort, but he sat up in bed anyway, propped against some pillows. "Since I don't seem to have any choice, what did you bring me for breakfast?"
"Bacon, eggs, pancakes, fresh fruit," Ben brought the tray over to set in front of Michael, then produced the best part of all, a chocolate cupcake with a single candle sticking out of it. Ben took his lighter and lit the single candle, then said, "Make a wish, Baby."
Michael looked up at Ben, his heart full of love for his husband, and said, "I can't think of anything to wish for, my life is just perfect the way it is."
Ben beamed back at him, and simply said, "Humor me."
Michael closed his eyes, thought about the one thing that he really wanted, and then opened his eyes and blew out the candle. Ben swiped his finger through the frosting covering the cupcake and held it up to Michael's mouth to sample. Michael sucked on the finger, enjoying the sweet taste of the frosting mixed with Ben's natural taste. Ben's breath caught in his throat, and said, "If you keep that up, we'll never get to breakfast. We can have our dessert when we're done." Michael grinned, released Ben's finger from his mouth, and proceeded to enjoy his birthday breakfast, loving husband at his side.
They had decided to host Michael's birthday party in their home, keeping the guest list small and intimate. Emmett was in charge, of course, and had decided that the standard black "Over the Hill" theme was "so 2003", so he decided to use bright, primary colors instead. He said that they represented the fact that Michael would always be a child at heart, no matter how old he got.
As their guests began to arrive, the room filled with happy voices and a lot of laughter. Everyone wanted the chance to talk to the guest of honor, and marvel that their little Michael was actually 40 years old. He took their ribbing in his usual good-natured way, feeling extraordinarily blessed to have such great friends in his life.
After they had cut the cake, it was time to open presents. Brian grabbed his present and thrust it at Michael, saying "Mine first," in usual Brian fashion. Michael opened the box, and gasped when he saw the contents. He pulled out the comic, announcing that it was the first edition of Captain Astro, the same one that Brian had purchased for his 30th birthday. "I swear, this is the last time I'm buying you this comic book," Brian proclaimed, with a big grin on his face.
Michael threw his arms around his best friend, whispered "Thanks" in his ear, and gave him a big kiss.
"Happy Birthday, Mikey" Brian said, returning the hug.
Michael showed the comic book to Ben, saying, "You know if it weren't for this comic book, we might never have met. Brian gave it to me on my 30th birthday, then I sold it to buy the comic book store."
Ben said, "Really? That's great, Baby." He had heard this story several times during their relationship, but he never got tired of hearing the excitement in Michael's voice or seeing the light in his eyes when he told it. The truth was that he was pretty certain that Fate would have brought them together even without the comic book.
Michael opened the rest of his presents, showing true happiness and enthusiasm with each one. After he thought he had opened the last gift, Ben came up to him holding a gold envelope.
"What's this?" Michael asked.
"Open it," Ben replied.
Michael opened the envelope, and removed the letter inside and began reading it. Tears fell from his eyes as he fully comprehended the contents of the letter. He turned to Ben and pulled him for the tightest embrace possible.
"Well, what does it say?" Debbie finally asked.
Michael slowly loosened his grip on his husband, and wiped away his tears, trying to find his voice. "It's a letter from his doctor, proclaiming him to officially be cured of his HIV."
A loud cheer rose from the group, everyone trying to hug Ben and Michael at the same time. Everyone, that is, except for Brian. He hung back, watching his best friend celebrate this good news, then he closed his eyes and sighed heavily. The one thing he always had was that he could offer Michael "forever", but now Ben would be able to make the same offer. He felt that one small part of his heart die, knowing that he would never need to be there to pick up the pieces when Ben succumbed to his HIV.
Michael noticed that Brian had distanced himself, so he went to his best friend and hugged him tightly. "I love you, Brian."
"Me too. Always have, always will."
After the party, Ben and Michael made their way upstairs to their bedroom. Michael was still holding onto the letter, and kept re-reading it, in case the contents somehow changed. "You know, this is what I wished for this morning," Michael said.
Ben just smiled, and said, "I know."
"How did you manage this?" Michael finally asked.
"Well, I took your advice and contacted my counselor to talk to her about it. She helped me realize that Hunter wasn't meant to be on this Earth for very long, but that you and I had fulfilled our mission in his life. He needed a place where he felt safe, secure, and loved, which you are I were able to provide. That helped me see that while his body may have been in pain when he died, his soul died in peace, thanks to us. With that knowledge, I was able to get past my guilt, and finally seek medical treatment for my HIV. It took a few visits to ensure that I was completely cured, but your reaction to the news made it all worthwhile." With that, Ben pulled Michael into a warm embrace, and a loving kiss.
"So, birthday boy, did your 40th birthday live up to your expectations?" Ben asked.
Michael grinned, and said, "Almost. I believe I have one last gift to unwrap."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah." Michael pulled off his shirt before reaching for Ben, kissing him deeply. As he broke off the kiss, he whispered "I love you" against his lips. He then began unbuttoning Ben's shirt, kissing the bronze skin as it became exposed. "I want to taste and feel every square inch of your body, and when I finish I want to start at the top and do it all over again." Ben just stood there, allowing Michael to take control, eagerly anticipating where this night was going to lead. Michael pulled Ben's shirt off his shoulders and tossed it aside, then began working on removing his belt. Pants and underwear soon followed, and Michael found himself down on his knees, gazing up at the body of the man that he loved with all his heart and soul. He traced his fingers up Ben's calves, around his knees, on to the sensitive skin of his inner thighs, feeling the muscles quiver in anticipation.
As he reached Ben's groin, his fingers cupped Ben's balls and played with them as he buried his nose in the dark blond pubic hair, taking in Ben's wonderfully musky smell. Ben's beautiful cock was already hard, beckoning him, pleading for attention. Michael reached for the base and drew the head into the warmth of his mouth. Finally able to taste his lover without that protective latex barrier was heaven, and he intended to make the most of it. He swirled his tongue around the head, then ran it up and down the sides, then back up to the top again.
Ben was also in heaven. For years he had dreamed of this night, this feeling. Until now he would never allow Michael to blow him without a condom, for fear that he would infect him with his awful disease, but he often thought about how it might feel. His imagination didn't even come close to the nirvana he was experiencing right now. Michael's mouth, lips and immensely talented tongue were driving him nearly to the brink, and he was fighting hard to hold for just a few more moments of this bliss...."Oh God, Michael!" he moaned, as he came, shooting down Michael's throat.
Michael swallowed easily, enjoying Ben's taste for the first time, feeling Ben shake as the orgasm ripped through his body. Ben was gripping Michael's shoulders, and Michael was holding his hips to help him stay steady. Once Ben had calmed a little bit, Michael stood and pulled Ben into another soul-searing kiss. When they came up to breathe, Michael looked deep into Ben's eyes and said, "Fuck me, Ben, I want to feel you inside me."
Ben needed no more encouragement. He quickly shed Michael of the rest of his clothes and lay him back on the bed. As they lay there, cocks rubbing together, Ben felt himself get hard again. He kissed Michael, then nudged him slightly so that he turned over on his stomach. Michael drew himself up onto his knees, eagerly awaiting Ben's next move. Ben traced a finger across Michael's cheek, then on to his mouth. Michael opened his mouth and drew the finger in, sucking on it just as he had done to Ben's cock. Ben then reached down to Michael's ass and slowly slid the slicked finger inside to open him up. It didn't take long for Michael to be ready, so Ben grabbed his cock to position it at Michael's hole, and pushed in slowly, inch by inch. Michael's eyes grew wide at the feel of Ben's bare cock entering him. This was a whole new, delicious sensation that he had never before experienced, and would never forget.
As Ben began to thrust, he placed one hand on Michael's shoulder as he leaned in to rain kisses all over Michael's back, tasting the fine sheen of sweat that had developed there. With his other hand, he reached around to Michael's chest, playing with his nipples before trailing his finger down his chest, across his abs to his cock, which was hard and aching with desire. He wrapped his hand around the shaft and began to stroke it, gently at first, then speeding up to match his thrusts. The sensations quickly became overwhelming, sending Ben to his second orgasm of the night. Feeling Ben's muscles contracting sent Michael over the edge, coming right after Ben.
They collapsed onto the bed on their right sides, Ben still buried deep inside of Michael. Since they didn't have a condom to deal with, they enjoyed the fact that they could stay connected after they made love. Ben whispered, "Happy Birthday, Baby" into Michael's ear, but Michael barely heard him. He was fast asleep, a big smile plastered on his face.
End of "A Cure is Found" by Kirsten (eli_ollie@yahoo.com)