Waking to the feel of an empty bed, Michael fought the exhaustion anchoring his lids shut. Without opening his eyes or moving anything except one arm, he confirmed what he had sensed - Ben was gone. Finally forcing his eyelids open, he quickly scanned the room and noticed the faint glow of the living room light peeking under the closed door. He stretched and tried to decide whether he should brave the cold floor boards or snuggle under the warm blankets and wait for his lover to return. As he was debating his options, he heard Ben's gentle voice, but it was too low to understand what he was saying or who he was talking to. His drowsy mind walked through the possibilities: it was too late for visitors, Hunter had been kidnapped to Debbie's for the weekend, the phone hadn't rung, leaving - oh crap! Becca!
Thinking he had slept through his daughter's crying, panic quickly flooded Michael's brain as he wondered what was wrong. He stumbled out of bed and rushed out of the room, stubbing his toe on one of the discarded toys that littered the floor. Trying his best not to cry out in pain, Michael swore softly and yanked open the door. The light flooding through the doorway blinded him for a moment, so he stood stock still, blinking until his eyes adjusted. When his vision finally cleared, he was captivated by the sight that greeted him.
His lover and daughter were comfortably ensconced in a big, comfy arm chair while Ben sang softly to Becca. Nestled perfectly in the crook of his arm, Becca sucked her thumb and fought to keep her eyes open as she rested her head on Bens broad chest. Her eyelashes fluttered until sleep and the melodic deep voice overcame her resistance. Still unaware of Michaels presence, Ben lightly stroked Beccas raven curls and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.
Michael quietly leaned back against the door frame, but. the movement caught Bens attention.
"I'm sorry, baby," whispered Ben over the baby's head. "Did we wake you?"
"Not really," Michael responded. "I woke up on my own, but I realized you werent there."
"She woke up crying and wouldn't go back to sleep. I hope you don't mind me jumping in."
Michael couldnt help but smile as he walked over to the cozy pair. "Not at all," he said, before bending to place a kiss on his daughters cheek." He sat on the arm of the chair, wrapped an arm around Ben's shoulders, and said with a laugh, "Do you remember the first time she spent the night?"
"How can I forget? You were a wreck! You couldnt even sit down for two minutes unless Becca was in your arms."
"God! Was I really that bad? Why didn't you sedate me or something?"
"Like I could have," Ben said while laughing gently. "You were never in one spot long enough for me to do anything."
Michael leaned his head against Ben's temple. "Thank goodness I had you around or else Becca would never have learned to stand on her own two feet." He fell silent when the baby stirred in Ben's arms. Afraid that Becca was starting to wake again, Michael lowered his voice. "I think its time we put this little angel back to bed."
"Do we have to? I was just getting used to this."
Michael brought his hand up to caress Bens cheek. "And she looks as comfortable as can be, but its almost 3:00 am and we have to be up in a few hours." Michael stood. "I'll go get Bibi. I think I tripped over him in our bedroom. You know how she can't sleep without him."
Easing himself out of the chair, Ben grabbed Beccas quilt, and headed towards the crib in their bedroom. He found Michael half under the bed, on a desperate search for the elusive Bibi.
"Aha! I found him!" cried Michael in a muffled voice. Successful in his mission, he wriggled out from under the bed with his daughters yellow, stuffed toy monkey aloft like a trophy. Of all the toys Becca had received, she always had a particular attachment to Bibi. From the moment Ben had first placed it in her chubby hands, it had hardly left her side. Michael watched as Ben set Becca in her crib and pulled the blanket up over her small shoulders. He took a step towards them and jumped when his foot squashed a squeaky toy. He kicked it out of the way, taking note of how much their bedroom had changed in the past two years - as had their lives.
"I was looking forward to being Uncle Ben."
"Like the rice."
"Probably the closest I'll come to being a dad."
Seeing their interaction, though, Michael knew Ben had become so much more than that. "How do you do that?" he asked.
"Do what?"
"How do you get her to fall asleep so fast? She always cries when I put her down."
"I just have a magic touch," Ben said as he winked at Michael.
"It's true. You're wonderful with her. I couldn't imagine anyone else..." Michael paused to swallow the lump in his throat. He turned away slightly from Ben's look of concern.
Wrapping an arm around Michaels shoulder, Ben pulled him closer. "Then you have nothing to worry about, because I couldnt imagine being anywhere else."
Michael turned to look at the crib while hugging Ben's waist tightly. "Good. We'd both be lost without you." He handed Ben the frayed monkey. "Here. I'll let you do the honors."
Taking Bibi from Michael, Ben placed the toy under Beccas outstretched arm. She cooed in her sleep and pulled the plush toy against her face. Completely taken by the sight of Becca, Ben and Michael tightened their embrace and watched her sleep.
Eventually, Michael broke his gaze and pulled Ben toward the bed. "As much as I want to, we can't stare at her all night. If we have bags under our eyes again, Mel and Lindsay will never let us hear the end of it."
"I know. You're right. She's so amazing though." As he eased himself back into bed, Ben realized just how tired he was. Before his head even touched the pillow, he could feel sleep trying to creep up on him and steal him away; he fought the feeling and pulled Michael into the circle of his arms.
Snuggling into the embrace, Michael laid his head on Bens shoulder. That song you were singing to Becca... What was it?
Ben twisted a lock of Michael's short, dark hair absently while he became lost in thought. "I think my grandmother used to sing to us when we were kids. I'm not even sure what the name is, but it brings back a lot of memories."
Now youre creating memories for Becca. And for me. Michael smiled and hugged himself more tightly to Ben. Would you teach it to me?
Ben laughed sheepishly and said, "I've never been good at performing on demand."
"Oh really?" Michael retorted. "I can think of more then a few occasions where you've 'performed on demand.'"
Slightly embarrassed, Ben replied, "Please, Michael. Not in front of the baby. Now, about that song. Let me try and remember how it begins..." He gently cleared his throat before starting to sing...
Golden slumber kiss your eyes,
Smiles await you when you rise.
Sleep, pretty baby,
Do not cry,
And I will sing you a lullaby.Care is heavy, therefore sleep,
While I o'er you watch do keep.
Sleep, pretty darling,
Do not cry,
And I will sing you a lullaby.
As his voiced trailed off after the last line, Ben became aware of the deepness and regularity of Michael's breathing. He brought his lips to Michael's ear and whispered soft words. He smiled broadly when Michael shifted, murmured indistinctly, and then mumbled back, "I love you too."