Summary: Michael has a nightmare that shakes him to the core.
Rating: NC-17
Archive Date: 07 February 2007
It was nearly dawn as Michael made his way to the hospital room that his love and life had been for nearly 2 weeks. Every since he got that cold, that turned into the flu. And the last week he just got worst, Ben has been slipping in and out of sleep and most lately when he sleeps he talks about the past. Michael knows that he is tired of holding on.
Michael knew that any day could be the day, the day in which his beloved husband lets go of life He doesn't know if he can handle what was the to come about, wasn't sure he could go on without Ben.
Michael knew that this would happened the second that he heard," I just want to know, I am HIV positive." He knew, but still at the time Ben was health. Even when he went to the hospital the first time, he knew that Ben would be going home.
But now Ben hasn't Regained conscious and like was said before he talks about the past, but not his past with Michael but when he was a boy, long before he every heard of HIV, Long before he was knocking on death door.
"Hey." Michael said, as he walked into Ben hospital room, he was talking Ben older Brother Keith, who looked just like him? "Has he..."
"Yeah once, He woke up and just smile. And talked about how he kicked my butt in Basketball when we were kids." Keith said in almost whisper. He too didn't want to face the facts that he was losing his baby brother. Keith sighed a went to the window," looking out. "Fuck, Michael I am his older brother I am supposed to protect him and now I can't." Ben's older brother started to cry, Michael walked over to his brother in-law and said, "just live in the now, just live in the now." Michael said, he too was crying.
Michael woke up and he knew that today would be the final day that he would see and touch he beloved Ben. He got dress in goofy shirt that Ben had brought him last Christmas, it was a shirt like his many tan ones, "we can be twin." Michael could hear Ben's voice when he opened it, seeing his Pale blue eyes as he watch Michael tries it on.
A single tear went down his face. Just as Hunter walked in, Michael could tell that he too had been crying. "I don't want to go." Hunter said, sitting down on the Bed next to Michael. "I can't say goodbye to him." He said, through the tears Michael grabbed Hunter and held on tight, "I can't either."
Just than there was a knock at the door before Michael could get up, whoever it was let them in, "honey it's Mom." Michael heard his mother voice downstairs, He didn't answer her so she went upstairs. "Honey, are you going to Hospital today."
Michael just put his head down and said, " I don't know if I can, I just know that it will be the last time." Debbie walked over and grabbed her son in a embrace, trying to protect her son for what was coming next. Just than the Phone rang, all three of them jumped, it was the phone they had been waiting for.
"Hello?" Michael asked slowly.
"It's Dr. Riley, I think that you better get over here. Mr. Bruckner just took a turn for the worst. I am sorry to tell you this; I think that he will go tonight." The second that the doctor said, that Michael just dropped to his knees.
Michael arrived at the hospital to find everyone there, including all of Ben's Family members. "Michael, Honey." Ben's Mom said, hugging him, she lead the way to his room, Ben was laying in the bed he looked a peace, his eyes was close, laying there and Michael knew he was ready. In reality he had been ready since he found out, that why he lives in the now.
When Michael was in the room he closed the door. So that he would have the very last moments with his Husband alone, Ben wasn't awake, but Michael knew that he was there. He grabbed his hand and he knew that he could hear him as he started to speak, "You once told me that I was the guy that you were looking for you entire life. But that not true, you were the one that I was looking for my entire life. You Benjamin Bruckner, you.... God this is so hard.... You will never know the joy that you brought my life, the happiness. God I wish you were awake right now so that one last time I could look in to your big blue eyes and tell you I love you. How many times did I say that, I lost count? Every time that we made love to the times that you were walking out the door. God..." just than the tears started to fell down Michael cheek, and they didn't stop.
"I will never forget the look in your eyes, when we got married or the look when I said. " I am sure." I wish that you were here telling me what to say, you are the Professor after all. I wish that you were holding my hand telling me that it was going to be alright and everything was fine. But no... you are in this hospital bed, clinging on to your last breath. I just want you to know that I love you Benjamin Bruckner. I always have and I always will... Make sure you tell uncle VIC hi, you two can chill with a glass of wine and such and bitch about me, I am sure that you guys will have a lot to say. Also if you're holding on for me, don't, please let go and please fly away home. I won't be mad at you I promise ..." just than he felt a squeeze on his hand and than it let go.
As the heart moderator went flat, Michael knew that Ben had let go and that he was free...
"NO Ben...Ben." Michael screamed, awakening from his dream, he went to reach for Ben, But couldn't find him, his heart stopped was his nightmare true was Ben really gone and his dream just reminder him "Ben." He cried out in frustration, Just than someone came in his Bedroom and his heart stopped and then leapt for joy, because there was Ben with a towel wrapped around him, he had just come out of the shower.
Michael burst into tears, when he saw that his love and his life were still alive well. Ben quickly ran over not knowing what was wrong with his husband, he grabbed Michael in a tight embrace, "baby, what‘s wrong?''
"I had a dream, that you died, and that I had to say goodbye to you." Michael had managed to say between the sobs, Ben ran his fingers through Michael hair and said, "Its Okay baby, I'm right here Baby, I didn't die." In the most smoothing voice. Ben was now rubbing up and down Michael back, all the while holding him tight trying to chase the demons of the his dream away. Michael sat there in Ben's arms for awhile, sobbing while Ben reassured him that he wasn't going anywhere.
Finally after awhile, Michael said, "it was so real, I could feel you take your last breath..." Ben than grabbed Michael and gently kissed his husband on the lips. "I love you," Ben whispered into Michael mouth, Michael whispered back," I love you too Benjamin Bruckner. Please make love to me, so that I can feel you really are here."
Ben smiled and leaned over and started kissing Michael on his sweet lips, Michael closed his eyes and enjoyed this moment, sex was always great with Ben, but kissing him was something that was entirely different all together. While they were kissing Michael ran his hands up and down Ben well tone chest, while Ben lifted Michael shirt over his head. You could see Michael hard cock popping out of his patriot's boxers Ben pulled it out and began to suck on Michael hard 9 inch cock the night mare began to fade away.
"Do you want me to cum" said Michael hoping Ben says yes just as Ben pulls the condom out Michael pushes it away "no I want you to cum in me I don't care any more I love you, you go I go!"
"Are you nuts do you want to die and have to be on a million pills a day"
"When you die I do not want to be alone, I need you, and you are my whole" a tear fell from his face. Ben pulled Michael close to him, Michael just sobbed in his chest crying "don't leave me you can't leave me you are me"
"I know I know I need you just as much as you need me" Michael reached for Ben's towel they kissed as rest of their clothes came off. As Ben entered him he said " don't leave me Ben ever!"
End of "Michael Had Nightmare" by Brucknerfan1985 (Jensenfan1985@yahoo.com)