Summary: Post-series story, based on a challenge by Lorein: David visits Pittsburgh and he and Ben meet for the first time.
Rating: PG-13
Archive Date: 10/09/05
Michael waved goodbye to Hunter. "He seems so much happier now," he commented. "I'm glad he doesn't have to go to that crappy high school any more."
"So am I." Ben glanced back at the community college where he and Michael had just dropped off Hunter. "But he needs more help with his work if he's going to keep his grades up."
"Well, don't look at me! You're the brains in this family. I never more than squeaked by every year I was in school."
"I think you exaggerate how bad a student you were."
"Why would I do that?"
Ben just smiled. "Anyway, that's not the point. He just needs some study help and a little encouragement. And he likes working with you."
"How do you figure?" They locked their bicycles to a post outside Liberty Diner and stepped inside, looking for an empty booth. "Every time I try to help him with his homework, he complains and throws wisecracks the whole time."
"And you throw them right back." Ben spotted Brian and Ted in the last booth; Ted waved them over. "He enjoys it."
"He does?" Michael looked doubtful.
"Yes. Snarking at us is his way of showing affection. You know that, don't you?"
"Yeah, I guess that's true."
"And it keeps him interested."
"Hey Michael, Ben," Ted greeted them.
"Who's this guy you're trying to keep interested?" Brian asked.
"Hunter."
"Oh." He looked disappointed.
"We're trying to help him improve his grades."
"There's Emmett," Ted pointed out, waving. "Hey, Em!"
Debbie approached the booth, all smiles. "You'll never guess who was in here this morning!" There was a prolonged silence. "Well, isn't anyone going to guess?"
"Food critic from the New York Times?"
"Elvis?"
"Rosie O'Donnell?"
"What about her?" asked Emmett as he reached the booth and tried to push his way into one of the seats.
"She was in here this morning," Ted explained.
"No way!"
"No, you assholes!" Debbie shouted. "David! David was here this morning."
"Oh!" Emmett beamed. "I'm so sorry we missed him."
"A tragedy of epic proportions," muttered Brian.
"Oh, be quiet. He was such a nice man! This would be David Cameron, Ben. Michael's ex, you know."
"Yes, I remember," Ben replied briefly. His attention was on Michael, who had suddenly become very sudued.
"What was he doing here?" Michael asked.
"Getting a cup of coffee, and stopping by to say hello to me," Debbie answered tartly. "And why shouldn't he?"
"No, I mean what's he doing here, in Pittsburgh?"
"Well, I don't know! You can ask him yourself."
"He's already left."
"He'll be in town for a few days and you'll see him when he stops by the store."
Michael looked up sharply. "When he what?"
"I told him about your comic book store. He seemed interested, so I gave him the address. He said he'd go by and check it out while he's here."
"What the hell did you do that for?"
"Do what?" she exclaimed indignantly.
"Give him the store address!"
"I didn't know it was a fucking state secret! He wanted to stop in and see how you were doing, that's all."
"Well, maybe I didn't want him to stop in and see me," Michael replied hotly. "You should have..." He stopped short, realizing the others in his booth and one or two people in adjoining booths, were listening with interest. "Never mind," he finished weakly.
She shook her head and flipped open her notepad to take breakfast orders. By unspoken agreement, the subject of David was dropped for the time being.
Michael spent the day nervously glancing up every time the door to his shop would open. As the afternoon passed, he began to think David wouldn't be coming by after all. When the bell over the door jingled, just after 3:00, he was pleased to see Ben walk in. He smiled in greeting.
"Classes done for the day?"
"Yes. Hunter's with his therapist until 4:30, so I thought I'd drop in on you." He leaned across the counter for a kiss, causing a couple of young customers to burst into muffled giggles. Michael glanced at them in amusement.
"There was a time," he mused, "when a reaction like that would have just about embarrassed me to death."
"Thank goodness those days are past," Ben replied. "So, no visit from the ex?"
Michael flushed slightly. "No, he never showed up."
"Too bad. I would've liked to meet him."
"You would?"
"Of course."
Michael hesitated, wanting to ask why, but not sure he'd like hearing the answer. Before he could speak, the shop door opened again and Michael found himself facing David for the first time since he'd left Portland.
Ben, surprised by the look of dismay that suddenly appeared on Michael's face, turned to see what was causing it. He quickly took in the stranger's appearance. From the little he'd heard, he concluded that this must be David. He looked younger than Brian's description would have led him to believe and less imposing than Debbie had portrayed him.
David approached the counter. "Michael." He smiled a little uncertainly. "Your mother told me you'd gone into business for yourself."
"Yeah," Michael responded faintly.
"It's really something," he said, looking around. "You've turned your comic book expertise into quite a business venture. I'm impressed." He turned back to Michael. "You're looking well."
"Um, thanks. You too."
David glanced just perceptibly in Ben's direction. Looking still more uneasy, Michael said, "David, this is Ben."
"Ben," David offered his hand. "I've heard a lot about you. From Debbie," he added in response to Ben's inquiring look.
"It's nice to finally meet you," Ben responded, shaking his hand warmly. "The store is great, isn't it? Michael's more than doubled the annual net profits from what the previous owner was making."
"Is that right? I didn't realize he had such a head for business."
Ben flashed Michael a smile. "He's done wonders with it. Oh, and have you seen Rage yet?"
"Of course." Michael looked at him in surprise. "I saw a reference to it on the internet and sent away for it," he explained. "It was amazing."
"The new issue just came out," Ben told him. "Let me get you a copy and I can show you around the store. You don't mind, do you, Michael?" he called over his shoulder as he led David into the adjoining room. "You know, Michael and I first met right here in the store," he told David as they moved away from the counter. Michael watched them with extremely mixed feelings.
"I don't see why we have to have him over here at all!"
"Well, a bar or a restaurant just isn't as friendly." Ben added some herbs to the pot he was stirring. "Besides, if David comes here, he can meet Hunter and see our house."
"I don't mean that. I mean, why do we have to see him again?"
Ben looked at him in surprise. "But he's only going to be in town until Monday. Who knows when we'll have another chance?"
"I give up."
"What's wrong? You really don't want to have him here?"
"I went without seeing him for years. Why is it so important now?"
Ben shrugged. "I thought it would be nice for you two to catch up. And besides, it gives me a chance to get to know him."
Michael turned away with a frown. Ben and David had spent over an hour chatting at the store, becoming comfortable and familiar in next to no time. Within twenty minutes, they were discussing Zen Buddhism and Asian travel. After half an hour, they were talking gay politics and comparing their philosophies of life. Before Michael knew what was happening, Ben was inviting David to come to the house for dinner the following day. He hadn't been able to think of a convincing reason to object.
Loud footsteps on the front porch, followed by the sound of the door being slammed and a backpack being dumped heavily on the floor, told them Hunter was home. "Hey, Pal," Ben called out. "We're in the kitchen."
"Hi." Hunter headed directly for the refrigerator.
"How was school?" Ben asked, deftly removing the chocolate brownie from Hunter's hand before he could take a bite and passing him an apple in its place.
"Okay. My drama class is doing 'West Side Story' and I'm trying out for one of the Jets."
"Nice!" Michael commented. "But why not try for the male lead?"
"Too much singing."
"Can we come see it?"
"If you want to."
"Of course we want to!" Ben insisted. "We wouldn't miss it for anything."
Hunter took a huge bite of apple to hide the pleased smile he couldn't hold back.
"Let us know when opening night is going to be."
"I will."
"By the way, we have a guest for dinner tonight," Ben added. "Make sure you get your backpack out of the front hall."
"Sure." Hunter looked at Michael. His years as a hustler had given him an internal geiger counter of other people's emotions. Being alert to feelings, tension, hidden emotions had sometimes been important to his survival. It was what had made him suspicious of Jason Kemp's final trick. He found it also worked on his dads. He could always tell when Ben and Michael had been arguing, when they wanted to be alone, and when they were worried. Tonight, Michael was giving off some very uncomfortable vibes.
"Who's coming for dinner?" he asked, tossing his apple core in the garbage. He noticed Michael's slight, nervous gesture as he asked the question.
"An old friend of Michael's. Doctor Cameron." Ben moved quickly from stove to sink and back again. "Could you start setting the table, please?"
He gathered plates and cutlery. The situation was clear. Whoever this doctor was, Ben was looking forward to seeing him and Michael was definitely not. Interesting. Hunter put out four place settings, staying tuned for further updates. He watched as Ben strode into the dining room with some weird, metal and ceramic object, which he set in the middle of the table, standing back to study the effect.
"Napkins, please, Hunter," he called out as he went back to the kitchen.
Hunter picked up four table napkins and set them in place as Michael came into the room, glancing around to make sure everything was in order. He decided to try and obtain more data. "So, who is this guy?" he asked casually.
"Nobody," Michael replied, taking candles and candlesticks from the sideboard and setting them on the table. He noticed Hunter watching him. "Just someone I used to know."
"Used to?"
"Before he moved away to Oregon."
"Oh. Is he a real doctor, or a PhD doctor?"
"He's a chiropractor."
Ben looked in from the kitchen. "Michael, why don't you put some music on? Whatever you think he'd like."
Michael rolled his eyes, a gesture noted by Hunter, and headed for the CD player. He selected a John Coltrane album and put it in the player, then walked back into the kitchen.
"Need any help?" he asked Ben.
"Thanks, I have it pretty much under control," he answered, covering a casserole dish and placing it in the oven to stay warm. "Just help me bring things out when we're ready to eat."
"Okay."
Ben looked up at the clock. "He should be here any minute. Hunter!"
Hunter appeared in the doorway. "Yeah?"
"Could you make sure there are clean towels in the bathroom, please?"
"Okay."
"How's your room look?"
"Well..."
"Never mind, just close the door." Hunter ran up the stairs to comply, just as the doorbell rang. Michael looked toward the front door as if he were facing a firing squad. Ben frowned. "Michael -- don't look so worried. It's only David. You used to live with him, after all."
"I know."
"Then what's the problem?"
Michael shrugged. "No problem. It's just...weird, seeing him here again. And seeing you and him...." Ben tilted his head and studied Michael, but before he could speak again Michael cut in, "We'd better answer the door." He stepped back so Ben could reach the doorway first.
"David! Come on in."
David entered carrying a bottle of wine and some cut flowers. "Hey, Ben." They hugged warmly, Michael noted with vague annoyance. They moved on from handshakes pretty damn quick, he fumed to himself. David turned to him. "Michael," he greeted him with a smile.
"Hi." Hoping to avoid a second hug for himself, Michael moved forward quickly. "Here, let me take..." He was closer to the flowers, but somehow getting flowers from David didn't feel right. "...that," he concluded, taking the wine and setting it on the sideboard.
"Gorgeous flowers," Ben commented. "I'll put those in some water." He took the bouquet into the kitchen, leaving Michael to take David's coat and usher him into the living room.
Ben returned with the flowers artfully arranged in a vase. "What can I get you to drink, David?" He set the vase on a side table.
"Glass of wine, thanks."
"I'll get it," Michael offered, jumping up. "One for you too, Ben?"
"Yes, thanks." He turned back to David.
"Beautiful house you have, Ben."
"We like it. But you wouldn't believe the work it took to get it to this point. You should've seen the place when we first moved in!"
"It feels more like a home when you've put a lot of work into it."
"Exactly!" Michael re-entered the room, handed a wine glass to Ben and one to David, then filled a third for himself as Ben and David clinked glasses jovially. "We had to practically rebuild the place from scratch," he went on, "but you're right, it feels more like our own because of it."
"What happened to the apartment? Emmett's not still there, is he?" He looked in Michael's direction.
"No, not any more. Emmett's living with my mom and Carl."
"Carl?"
"Oh, that's right! You don't know about Carl, do you?" Ben exclaimed. "Debbie's found herself a guy!"
"Now that's good news!" He looked up as Hunter returned from upstairs, stopping in the doorway.
Ben smiled and gestured him in. "Hey, Pal. Come join us. David, this is our son, Hunter. Hunter, this is Doctor Cameron."
"Call me David." He stood to shake Hunter's hand. "Nice to meet you, Hunter."
"Um, me too." He perched on an ottoman, not sure if his presence was called for or if he could go back to his room and play video games until dinner time.
"I have a son just a little younger than you."
"How is Hank?" Michael asked, glad to settle on a subject with no unpleasant associations.
"He's great, thanks." David's smile widened at the mention of his son. "You wouldn't believe how much he's changed." He pulled his wallet out of his pocket and removed a photograph, handing it to Michael."This one was taken about six months ago."
Michael took the picture eagerly. "He looks great. And check out the hair!"
"I know. It took some doing to talk his mother into that," he laughed.
"Does he still play the saxophone?"
"Like a master."
Ben was glad to see that Michael had begun to relax at last. He decided to give him and David a few minutes together. "Hunter, help me start bringing the things to the table, will you? David, we'll be ready to eat in a few minutes." He headed for the kitchen.
Michael considered following him, but David was speaking to him.
"He's doing great in school, but he isn't sure what he wants to do after graduation. He's thought of studying music, but his mother wants him to do something more practical. He even," he said with a self-conscious laugh, "thought about becoming a chiropractor."
Michael smiled and handed the snapshot back. As David was replacing it in his wallet, he added, "Oh, and this is Eric." He pulled a second photo out of its plastic holder and handed it to Michael.
"Eric?"
"We've been together just over two years now," David explained.
Unsure of how to respond, Michael studied the photograph. It showed a man about David's age, with sandy hair and blue eyes, sitting on a front porch step next to a large, shaggy dog, smiling toward the camera. Michael noticed, with an odd pang, that Eric was in front of the house he and David had shared. "He looks nice," Michael commented without thinking. "He has a kind face." He met David's eyes and was immediately embarassed, although he wasn't sure exactly why. As Ben entered the living room, he hurriedly returned the picture to David.
"My partner, Eric Larsson," David told Ben, handing the picture along to him. Hunter noticed the way Michael looked away in confusion.
"Oh! Hey, he's cute," Ben said pleasantly, passing the picture back again. "Why don't you come on into the dining room? Dinner's ready."
They sat down at the table and Ben started serving food. Hunter examined the dishes critically. Chicken mixed with vegetables and some kind of grain that was not rice. A huge green salad. Funny little round, bread things. Hunter had become resigned to Ben's offerings of healthy food and at least nothing seemed to contain tofu.
"I never asked you, David," Ben said as he filled his guest's plate, "what brings you to Pittsburgh? Especially at this time of year."
He accepted the plate with a nod of thanks. "Actually, I had to take care of some property matters. I'm selling the house. Oh, and putting the cabin up for sale as well."
"Cabin?" Hunter asked.
"I have a log cabin out in the country. In the woods about two hours north of the city."
"Cool! How come you're selling it?"
"Eric and I decided to buy a house together, so it seemed like a good idea to dispense with the one out here first."
"The real estate market's pretty good here right now," Ben commented, pouring wine.
"But the log cabin sounds neat," Hunter persisted. "Was it really out in the woods? Most people want cottages on the beach, don't they?"
David smiled at him. "Well, there was a small lake on the property, but it was more secluded than most beach cottages would allow for."
"Sounds great. Did you ever go there, Michael?" He couldn't help but notice that Michael wasn't too happy with the question.
"Yeah, a couple of times," he mumbled.
"Maybe we should go to the beach together this summer," Ben suggested. Michael gave a start of alarm before he realized that 'we' meant the three of them, not David. "We could rent a cottage." Hunter looked happy with the idea. Michael stared down at his plate, hoping the subject of David's cabin would be dropped.
"Want some more, Hunter?" Ben asked.
"No, thanks. I'm holding out for dessert. Michael made dessert tonight," he confided to David.
"Michael, you cook now?" David asked teasingly. "When I knew you, you could barely boil water."
"Michael's a great cook," Hunter commented. "Especially desserts."
"Heavy on the chocolate," Ben explained with a smile, gathering dinner plates.
"I'll get the brownies," Hunter offered, running for the kitchen.
Michael glanced discreetly at his watch, wondering if he could expect David to leave within the hour. Maybe. Unless Ben asks him to stay for a sleepover, he thought bitterly. "Coffee?" he offered, as Hunter returned with the platter of chocolate brownies.
The one hour estimate turned out to be overly optimistic. Michael sat gritting his teeth as Ben and David drank coffee and bonded. They included him in the conversation as much as possible, so he couldn't even resent them for leaving him out. When they started swapping college stories, he called Hunter over.
"Don't you have any homework tonight?"
"Yeah, a little bit. But we have company," he argued hopefully.
Ben overheard. "That's no excuse. Come on, get busy."
"I'll help," Michael offered quickly. "I promised I'd help him study," he explained to the two men. "You carry on. It shouldn't take too long." He moved to the table where Hunter was setting out his books, relieved at the interruption.
Hunter started his work, but within minutes Michael's attention was drawn by the bursts of laughter coming from the living room. He found himself trying to catch some of their conversation and was startled to hear his own name spoken. They're talking about me, he thought angrily. The minute I get out of the fucking room!
"Michael?" Hunter was looking at him expectantly.
"Oh -- sorry." He tried to focus on homework, but soon overheard more laughter. He strained his ears.
"...about Brian?"
"...at first...Michael...you wouldn't believe...."
This was following by more gales of laughter. Michael glowered at Hunter's History of Dramatic Arts textbook. This was going to be a long evening.
"Could you ask me these questions and see if I get them right? We have a quiz tomorrow."
"Sure." Michael took the book and began reading off questions. Hunter got most of them correct. Michael returned the book and turned to the next subject. Just then he caught the words, "...tomorrow afternoon?" and heard David reply, "I'll be free after 1:00."
I don't believe this, he thought grimly. I don't fucking believe it!
"I guess I should've asked you first, but I knew we weren't busy tomorrow."
"It's no problem." Michael pulled his shirt off and headed into the bathroom to brush his teeth.
"Besides," Ben went on from behind him, "David's only here a short time."
"Right," Michael agreed. "Who knows when we'll have this wonderful opportunity again?" he added in an undertone.
"What?"
"Nnthng," Michael replied, brushing vigorously.
"Oh, I almost forgot." Ben leaned against the open bathroom doorway. "David wanted to know if we'd like to use the cabin this summer, before he sells it."
Michael quickly rinsed and spat. "He what?"
"I said I'd talk it over with you. That was generous of him, don't you think?"
Michael kept his back to Ben, slowly putting away his toothbrush and glass. "Yeah."
"It's amazing how well David and I get along together."
"Very." Michael walked back to the bedroom, Ben trailing behind him.
"Then again, maybe it's not so surprising. We do have one important thing in common." Ben gave Michael's shoulder an affectionate squeeze.
"What's that?"
Ben laughed. "You, of course!" He noticed Michael's shocked expression. "I don't mean to suggest anything kinky. You and David are ancient history."
"Right."
"But I have to like someone who had the sense to appreciate you."
Michael didn't answer. He tensed at first when Ben moved close behind him, slipping an arm around his waist and kissing the back of his neck. Then he decided that he'd welcome something to take his mind off things. He turned and led Ben decisively into the room, pushing him down playfully on the bed and pulling his briefs off in a single movement. When Ben reached for a condom, Michael was suddenly taken by an unusual impulse. He snatched the packet from Ben's hand, pushing him down onto the mattress and straddling him. "My turn this time?"
Ben raised his eyebrows in surprise. It wasn't often that Michael volunteered to take the top bunk, but he was more than happy to oblige. "Anything you want, baby," he answered.
The loft door slid open with a clang. Brian looked up from his computer as Michael entered, noticing he wasn't his usual cheery self. He stored this fact away for future reference.
"Hey, Mikey. Check it out." He backed away from the monitor as Michael approached.
"What's this?"
"Stuff for the anti-Prop 14 campaign. Remember?"
"Oh, sure I do." Brian had volunteered his services, since the ads and posters the GLC had come up with on its own had not been a raging success. "Let's see."
"This is the basic Stop Prop 14 poster." Brian held up a colour printout with the standard 'Gay rights are human rights' slogan under the Stop 14 image. "Then this goes out the following week." The second poster featured the headline 'Some people are more equal than others.' "This one needs work," Brian admitted.
A third poster showed a flamboyantly gay man with the caption 'Proud American' followed by the Stop 14 logo and some fine print.
Michael peered at the computer screen. "What's this?"
"Script for a TV spot."
Michael examined it, reading aloud. "'What would the world be without Alexander the Great? Liberace? Gertrude Stein? Laurence of Arabia? Rock Hudson? Socrates? Tchaikovsky? Walt Whitman? Cole Porter? Andy Warhol? Elton John? Leonardo da Vinci?'" The list went on. He looked up at Brian, puzzled.
"It had to be low-cost," Brian said. "It just shows images of each person as their name's spoken."
"I see." He read the closing line: "'Queers. Where would we be without them?'" He laughed. "Cute, but it doesn't even mention Prop 14."
"I was hoping we could get in a few all-purpose, pro-gay ads along with the others, if I stayed within budget," Brian explained. "It can't hurt to be proactive." He grimaced as he examined the proofs. "They're not up to my usual standards, but I find it's hard to do an ad campaign when you're not actually trying to sell anything."
"You didn't have any trouble doing Jim Stockwell's campaign."
"No," said Brian thoughtfully. "I guess it was easier to think of Stockwell as a commodity." He turned back to Michael. "So what brings you over here so early? Don't you usually do family stuff on Saturdays?"
Michael shrugged, flipping idly through the posters he'd already seen. "Yeah. We're going out to the zoo this afternoon."
Brian watched him, wondering what was up. "So why are you here?"
"I told Ben I'd promised to help you with something," he said with a guilty expression. Brian waited in silence until Michael burst out, "Oh, don't look at me like that! I just had to get out of the house for a while, okay?"
"Trouble with you and Ben?"
"No. Not really."
"Then what?"
"We've got company," Michael said, making it sound like an infestation. "David."
"You're spending the day with David?"
"Ben and Hunter and me. And it wasn't my idea. Ben invited him."
"I see."
"And he invited him over for dinner last night. And spent like weeks talking to him in the store on Thursday when he came by."
"This is why you had to make up an excuse to leave?" Brian tried not to laugh. "To escape the Doc's company?"
"It's not funny!"
"No," Brian agreed, grinning broadly.
"They're like long lost brothers," Michael complained.
"So? You wanted them to hate each other on sight?"
"No. I just didn't expect we'd be spending all this time with him." He fidgeted with the pencil holder on the desk. "Ben doesn't understand why I don't want to hang out with him."
"That makes two of us," Brian retorted. "No, actually, that makes three of us."
"Three?"
"Counting you."
Michael stared at him. "What?"
"You don't even know yourself why you don't want David around."
"What are you talking about? Isn't it obvious why I wouldn't want him around?"
"Because you hate his guts?"
"Of course I don't hate..."
"Then, because you're still madly in love with him?"
"No!"
"You're afraid he and Ben will run off and fuck when you're not looking?"
"Will you stop it!"
"Then what's the problem?" Brian looked at him challengingly. "You spend a couple of days reminiscing with the old flame. That's what you mature, open-minded married couples do, right? David's just making nice, saying there's no hard feelings, something like that. Ben doesn't mind. In fact, he's made friends with the old codger."
"Yeah." Michael was arranging pens and paper clips again.
"So the only one who has a problem with it is you." The desktop was getting a complete fashion makeover. "What's up, Mikey?" he asked. Michael shrugged elaborately, keeping his eyes down. Brian continued to watch him until he looked up.
"I don't know! It's just so...weird!"
"What is?"
"Everything!" Brian folded his arms and leaned against a pillar, waiting. "You know. Ben making friends with my old boyfriend. Being with both of them at the same time."
Brian shrugged. "It's just dinner and a trip to the zoo, not a menage-a-trois."
Michael gave him a look. "It's just that David was one part of my life and Ben's a different part. I don't really like Ben hearing about...back then."
"I doubt he'll hear anything that's going to shock him."
"I don't mean that. I was just such a loser in those days. And now David's telling him all about...." He went back to fine-tuning the office supplies. "I heard them talking about me when I was out of the room," he said, a little petulantly.
"What do you think they were saying? Comparing sex stories?"
"No!"
"Having a laugh together over your physical flaws?"
"What physical...?" He saw Brian was teasing him.
"What's the deal? Is David being an asshole?"
"No, he's not," Michael admitted. "He's being nice. I mean, Ben took to him right away."
"So I hear."
Michael replaced the pen holder in its original place. "He's been with someone, the last couple of years."
"Oh?"
"They're buying a house together."
Brian raised an eyebrow. "So he's moved on."
"Well, naturally. It's been a long time." Michael looked thoughtful. "I can't believe how much he's changed."
"Changed, how?"
"I don't know. Lots of ways. He used to be so jealous. I never thought he'd be comfortable meeting my new boyfriend."
"Husband," Brian corrected slyly.
"Right. He just seems so much more relaxed now. He's really...."
"Changed," Brian finished. "Well, maybe it's not just him. Maybe you've changed."
"Me?"
"You're not the pathetically grateful little wife who used to follow him around like a puppy."
"Hey!" Michael objected, stung.
"You've moved on, too, or haven't you noticed? You're a successful business owner, husband and father."
"Yeah, I guess so."
"Then what do you care what the Doc thinks of you? Or what Ben tells him about you, or he tells Ben?"
"I don't. Not really."
"So what are you doing over here, hiding out?"
"I'm not hiding!" Brian looked at him askance. "Fine, I'm hiding." He set the desktop items in their final resting places. "I should probably get back."
"You probably should." He stopped Michael at the door and gave him an unusually affectionate kiss and hug. "Have fun at the zoo," he sang out as the door slid shut.
"Bandicoots," Hunter read from a sign outside the animals' cage. "Who wants to see bandicoots? Where are the man-eating lions?"
"I doubt they actually label them 'man-eating'," Ben replied mildly, consulting the map of the zoo displays. "It says the big cats are over there, just past the penguins."
"But let's stop at the penguin house on the way," Michael suggested.
"What for?" Hunter asked. "Penguins are boring."
"I think they're cute. I like the way they fly underwater. And they're no more boring than lions and tigers."
"I want to see something that could actually dismember and eat a grown man."
Ben and David caught each other's eye with a smile, as one teenager's father to another.
"How do you know penguins couldn't do that?" Michael argued.
"They're too small," he scoffed.
"Emperor penguins are over four feet tall. Big enough to do some damage, I'll bet."
"But they wouldn't really attack someone."
"Maybe they would, if they got mad enough. Maybe they're just holding back." Michael broke off when he noticed David watching him with amusement. He led the way into the penguin house in silence.
They circled the glass-enclosed display, watching the various species of penguins go about their business. Hunter was momentarily diverted when two of them had a brief but noisy skirmish over who would get to stand on a particular rock. Michael lost himself in the slow, soothing movements of the swimming penguins, visible through the waterproof glass of their tank. He was brought out of his reverie by more laughter from Ben and David, who were involved in an animated discussion.
"Let's go. I want to see the tigers," Hunter called. They trailed out after him.
"I could use a cold drink," Ben commented. "Is anyone else thirsty?"
"Me!" Hunter replied.
"I'll go get drinks for everyone. Hunter, come on and help me carry them back."
"I'll come, too," Michael offered quickly.
"No, no. You and David haven't had much of a chance to talk," Ben insisted. "We'll meet you at the lion cage." He took orders from the other two, and he and Hunter walked over to the refreshment stand. Michael reluctantly followed David to the cages.
"Hunter is really something," David commented pleasantly.
"Yeah, he's a great kid."
"You're great with him, too."
"Me? Ben's really had more to do with raising him than I have."
"I don't get that impression." David smiled at him. "I knew you'd be a wonderful father if you ever got the chance. You were always good with Hank."
"Thanks, but Hank was easy to get along with."
"He was fond of you. He was pretty upset when you went back to Pittsburgh, you know."
"I'm sorry." He wasn't sure what else to say. He had no wish to revisit their break-up.
"It was just a little sudden for him. He was getting attached to you and then you were gone."
"I'm sorry," he said again, "but I don't know what I could've done to make it easier for him. I mean, you told me to go!"
"I had to. You were miserable there."
"You weren't too happy, yourself. I guess I'm not much fun to have around when I'm in a bad mood." He found himself growing irritated. "But I'd just left everyone falling apart because Justin had been beaten into a coma. I wasn't up to being cheery at the time."
"I didn't expect you to be. I understood about Justin and about being homesick. But you know very well there was more to it than that."
"What do you mean, more to it?"
"The real problem was, you had to leave Brian behind."
"Here we go again with Brian!"
"You know that was the issue. He wouldn't talk to you on the phone, wouldn't answer your e-mails, and there was no way you could manage without at least some contact with Brian."
"He was my best friend! I don't think you ever really understood that. You have friends, but they're just people you hang out with sometimes. You didn't have one person you were really, really close to."
"I thought that was you. But I couldn't compete with Brian. He won out in the end."
"It wasn't a competition!"
"The hell it wasn't!" Both their voices were rising in volume. "I tried everything I could think of to make you happy, Michael. But nothing I had to offer could ever compare with the chance to be Brian Kinney's camp follower and designated driver."
"You just couldn't stand that I loved anyone else besides you!"
"Not besides me, Michael. Instead of me."
"That wasn't it! You never really thought I was good enough for you. I kept trying to do everything right, but I never...."
"What are you talking about? I felt like I was always fighting for your attention and never able to..."
"So you threw me out. Ordered me back to Pittsburgh."
"I didn't throw you out!"
"You told me to just go home." They were face to face, inches away from each other. "Like I had anything to go back to! I'd quit my job. I had no money, nothing. I didn't even have a home any more! If Emmett hadn't taken me in, I don't know where I would've gone."
"And that was my fault? I offered to help you out if you needed..."
"I didn't want your fucking money!" he shouted. "I left everything I ever knew to be with you, but when it didn't work out the way you wanted...!"
Hunter stopped short several yards from the feline display and stood, holding two plastic soft drink cups and staring in amazement.
"What's up, Pal?" Ben stopped beside him and followed Hunter's gaze. His jaw dropped at the sight of Michael and David, their faces inches apart and their body language expressing pure aggression, shouting at each other in a rage. They were oblivious to Ben and Hunter, to the glances of curious strangers, and to the scornful stares of Panthera Tigris and Panthera Leo from the enclosure behind them. Ben's eyes widened in alarm as Michael's gestures escalated from merely angry to threatening.
"What do you think?" Hunter asked. "Are we going to have to turn a hose on them or something?"
Ben watched in dismay. "Don't be silly. Of course we're not," he answered with no conviction whatever.
The ride back in David's rental car was quiet and intensely uncomfortable for everyone, but they had no other way home. Without needing to discuss it, Ben sat in the front seat next to David, while Michael and Hunter rode in the back. David pulled up at the curb in front of the house. Hunter jumped from the car first, tossed a quick "See ya!" back to David, and headed for the front door. Michael got out and went around to the driver's window, trying to think of something to say.
"Sorry," he began.
"There's no need, Michael," David replied, his voice subdued. "I shouldn't have lost my temper."
Unable to think of a response, Michael raised a hand weakly in goodbye and headed for the house. Halfway there, he turned back and saw that Ben was still in the car, talking to David. He caught Michael's eye, signalled 'just a minute' and went on with the conversation. Michael hurried up the porch steps and into the house, pushing the door firmly shut behind him. Hunter was standing just inside.
"That was twisted!" Michael didn't answer. "What made you hulk out like that?"
"Nothing."
"It didn't look like nothing!"
"We were just..."
"'Having a discussion'? Were you really going to smack the guy?"
"No!"
"It looked like you were."
"Why don't you just mind your own business for once!" Michael strode angrily to the front window and peered cautiously out. Ben and David were still talking. He turned back and found Hunter looking hurt. "Shit. I'm sorry. I shouldn't take it out on you. I was just..."
"Queening out?"
Michael gave Hunter a stern glare, feeling pretty sure his apology had been accepted. Hunter looked out the front window. "They're still sitting in the car. What do you think they're talking about? Whether to have you committed?"
"Will you get away from the window! They're going to think we're spying on them."
"We are spying on them." Hunter let the curtain drop back in place. "Does Ben know this David tried to kill you for your insurance money?"
Michael stared at him. "Where did you get an idea like that?"
"If you won't tell me, I have to make up my own version. What was it? Did he spill coffee on a 1966 Superman comic? Ask you to put out for his friends and business associates? Make you watch the Super Bowl?" Michael shook his head in exasperation and started compulsively straightening up the entryway closet. Hunter watched him work, beginning to take pity on him. "Do you think Ben's mad at you?"
Michael sighed. "Probably. I just ruined everyone's day by turning into a raving lunatic in public. Besides, he really likes David and I think I pretty much threw a wrench into that blossoming friendship." He kicked dejectedly at a pair of sneakers on the closet floor. "I'm such an idiot." He glanced at his watch. "Do you know they've been out there talking for over ten minutes?"
"You and David gave them plenty to talk about." He wandered into the kitchen and poured a glass of milk. He and Michael both looked up as the door opened and Ben walked in.
Ben's eyes immediately went to Michael. "Are you okay?" he asked.
Michael was relieved to find no sign of anger in Ben's voice, only concern. "I'm fine. Apart from being an asshole." He gave Ben an apologetic look. "I thought you'd be pissed at me."
"He's probably scared to say so," Hunter remarked from the kitchen.
"Hey, don't you have some studying to do?" Ben asked him pointedly.
"I could do that any time."
"How about now?" Hunter folded his arms stubbornly. "Go on up to your room," Ben insisted.
"Every time things get interesting, you send me away!"
"Get used to it." He gave Hunter a gentle push toward the stairs. With an exaggerated sigh, Hunter dragged himself off to his room. Ben turned back to Michael. "Exactly what happened back there?"
"What do you mean? You saw what happened."
"Yes, but what I'm asking is, why?"
Michael shrugged. "We got into an argument." He glanced toward the front window. "You had enough time to hear all about it from your old pal, David." His voice had taken on an edge, which Ben noticed. Michael looked away, embarrassed. "Sorry."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"Tell you what?"
"How you felt about seeing David again, spending time with him? I didn't realize it upset you so much."
"There wasn't anything to tell. Like you said, David and I are ancient history."
"Obviously there's still some strong feeling there."
"I guess so."
"But what really bothers me is that you didn't feel like you could tell me. We try to be honest with each other, don't we?"
"Yeah, we do. But you liked David. You wanted to hang out with him and I didn't have any really good reason to give for not wanting to."
"Just the fact that you weren't comfortable with it would've been reason enough, Michael."
"I know." Ben looked at him questioningly. "It's just...as soon as David was around again, it was like I went back in time and I was this stupid little jerk again and I felt like I had to shut up and apologize for everything and like I wasn't good enough or smart enough to..." He looked back at Ben. "I'm sorry. I'm not making any sense."
"Enough. But I thought you and David were happy together."
"We couldn't have been all that happy. We did break up, after all."
"Yes, but I thought it was just because you missed Pittsburgh, your friends and all."
"Where are you getting all this?"
"Debbie."
He rolled his eyes. "I can imagine. Mom thought David was the answer to a mother's prayers. But she didn't really have the whole story."
"Neither did I, apparently." Ben observed him closely for a moment. "Look, I'm going to start dinner. Why don't you give me a hand?"
"Sure," Michael replied, surprised at the way Ben had abruptly dropped the subject.
"And maybe while we're working, you can tell me about you and David. If you want to," he added quickly. "If you don't want to, that's fine."
David scanned the cafe until he spotted the lone figure seated near the back. He moved quickly through the room and approached his table. Michael looked up and nodded a greeting.
"I wasn't sure you'd show up."
David sat down across from him. "I had second thoughts about it, myself. Actually, Ben convinced me I shouldn't leave things the way they were." A waitress came up to them and they both ordered coffee.
"It was Ben who talked me into seeing you again, too," Michael confided. "He's turned into quite the mediator. He's the one who got me to work things out with Brian a while ago, when we weren't speaking."
"You and Brian? That's hard to believe."
"It was after Ben and I got married and bought the house. Things were changing too fast for him and he got a little defensive. We're friends again, now." He stirred his coffee, aware that they were avoiding the real issue. "So are we going to talk about it?"
David smiled at his directness. "I guess that's why we're here, but I'm not sure I know what to say."
"Ben says it's because we still have a lot of strong feelings about each other that we haven't really dealt with."
"That much is obvious."
"That's for sure." Michael searched for the right words. "I never expected to talk to you after I left Portland. When I saw you again, I started remembering all this bad stuff."
"It wasn't all bad." It was more of a question than a statement.
"No. But I mostly remembered those last few weeks when I was moving back to Pittsburgh and the way I felt like a complete failure."
David frowned. "A failure? That's how you felt?"
"Sure. I mean, you were my one big chance. I finally had a shot at having everything I wanted, a home with someone who," he hesitated slightly over the words, "who loved me, and in just a few weeks I'd screwed it all up and was back where I started from."
"That was really what you wanted? I didn't always get that impression."
"Well...just because I wanted it doesn't mean I was ready for it. If you see what I mean."
"Yes, I think so."
"I remember going to Mel and Lindsay's house once, before we met, and seeing them and Gus in their nice house, so sweet and loving together, and feeling kind of sad because I would never have anything like that -- a home, a family."
"There was no reason you couldn't have those things. In fact, now you do."
"I know, but back then it just didn't seem like a real possibility. Even when you and I were living together, I never felt like I really belonged there."
David nodded. "I have to admit, after you left I felt like a failure, myself."
"You did?"
"Definitely. You said I was your 'one big chance.'" He smiled in embarrassment. "Well, I felt as if you were my last chance. I'd just turned forty, for one thing. I hadn't been in a relationship since Mac died. When I met you, it seemed like my final shot. I decided I was going to make it work if it killed me. I did everything I could think of to make you happy."
"I know. But you tried too hard." He gave David a regretful smile to soften the words.
"I suppose I did," he admitted. "It was a bad habit from way back. I always felt like I needed to keep working at things, staying in control, to make sure everything would go right."
"Typical overachiever," Michael joked.
"It used to drive Hank crazy, remember?" Michael nodded. "Eric says I'm like one of those people who never feel safe in a car if someone else is driving."
Michael laughed at that. "Sounds like an accurate description. He seems to know you pretty well."
"Yes, he does. But I'm getting better, honest! I'm finally accepting that I can't control everything. Or everyone."
"Do you let him drive your car?" Michael teased. The tension between them seemed to have all but disappeared.
"I do." He smiled. "And that's partly because of you."
"What did I have to do with it?"
"I'm not sure how to explain." David thought a moment. "Back when I was still in the closet and married to Lori, I thought I could control everything, be the way I wanted to be, just by willing it. That didn't work, to say the least. My marriage falling apart was the first lesson, you might say."
"The lesson being that you can't control everything?"
"Exactly. By the time Mac and I got together, I thought I was over being a control freak. Mac didn't let me get away with it, for one thing. He was more than a match for me." He smiled nostalgically. "Then he got sick and it drove me crazy that nothing I did had any effect. I wasted the last few weeks we had together, running around, looking for different treatments, different doctors, anything that would save him. Same old thing -- I just knew I could keep him alive if I worked at it hard enough. One more thing I couldn't control." Michael listened in sympathetic silence. "That should've taught me a lesson, once and for all. But I fell back into the same rut with you."
"You're being too hard on yourself. I didn't even know what I wanted from a boyfriend back then. It was easier for me to just step back and let you decide everything."
"You don't have to let me off the hook here, Michael."
"I'm not. But it wasn't just you. I think we met each other at the wrong time in our lives, that's all."
David tilted his head. "Maybe."
"And to tell the truth," he went on shyly, "I think you may have had a good effect on me, too."
"Really?" He looked skeptical.
"I found out I could have what I wanted after all. I quit that crappy job I hated and started my own business. I realized I could have someone who'd love me and make a home with him. I also figured out how to live with another person. You and I were so different, but we managed to work out our differences. Mostly."
"That's true."
"When I met Ben, I felt like I wanted to be with him the rest of my life. Because of you, that didn't seem as impossible as it used to and I had the nerve to actually go after him. Even when other people didn't think I should." David just nodded; apparently he'd heard about Ben's HIV issues from somewhere.
"I'm happy that worked out for you, Michael. Ben is one of the nicest people I've ever met."
"He really likes you, too. You know," he said sheepishly, "when you and Ben got so friendly right away, it really freaked me out."
"I suppose I can understand that."
Michael took a deep breath. "So tell me more about this Eric."
"Well, I met him a little over two years ago." Michael noticed how he immediately warmed to the subject. "He does art restoration, and I brought one of my paintings in for some repair."
"And you asked him out the same day," Michael guessed.
"No. I was feeling very cautious by that time. I'd almost given up on ever having another serious relationship."
"Given up? Why?"
"Too old."
"Oh, come on!"
"Well, that was how I felt at the time. And the other thing was..."
"What?"
"I did go out sometimes. My friends even tried fixing me up once or twice. But it seemed as if single men my age were all very jaded, cynical. When I met Eric...well, he just wasn't. He hadn't let life make him cold or mistrustful. He was so warm and open." His voice softened as he spoke about his partner. "You know something? You and Eric and Mac are very, very different people, but you all have that quality in common." Michael flushed, surprised by this comment. "For that matter, so does Ben."
"He really does," Michael agreed. "I guess that's one reason you like him so much."
"No doubt."
"So you and Eric are buying a house?"
"That's right. We need something that will suit us both. With a big yard for his dog, among other things."
"I didn't think you liked dogs."
"Not really, but this particular dog comes as part of the Eric package, so I've learned to get along with him. He's a sweet old thing, really."
"I bet Hank likes him."
David laughed. "Oh, Hank's crazy about him. He always wanted a dog." He paused until the waitress finished refilling their cups. "Now we just have to come to an agreement about the interior decor."
"Uh-oh!" Michael recalled some problems in that area.
"No, no! I've learned to adapt, really. We'll both be living there, so both our tastes need to be represented."
"Very enlightened of you," Michael joked. "Is his taste really that bad?"
"Not bad, no. Just different from mine. His kitchen, for example. He likes this 1940s farmhouse look. He says it's homey."
"What kind of look?" Michael frowned.
"You know the kind of thing. Linoleum tile. Hoosier cabinets. Enamelled tin canisters. Vintage Pyrex ware." His face took on a look of calculated long-suffering. "Little ceramic chickens," he concluded in a tone of despair.
Michael grinned at his dramatics. "And you thought my comic book shit was bad! Any objections if I point and laugh?" They both chuckled. "Maybe he can decorate the kitchen, and you get the living room."
"Good idea," David agreed. "I'm sorry I was so rigid about our place, by the way."
"You weren't," Michael answered. "Well, maybe a little."
"I can't believe I ever thought it mattered that much."
"After you and Eric find your house, maybe you could send us pictures."
"I'd be glad to."
"Especially of the kitchen!"
Brian hit the intercom impatiently as it buzzed. "What?!"
"Mr. Novotny is here," Cynthia's voice announced. "And don't bark at me, asshole!"
"Send him in."
Michael walked into the office, scanning the room. "I never get used to seeing an office where the bathhouse used to be!"
"It still serves its original purpose at times. Why do you think I have a couch in my office?"
Michael grinned. "So what's up?"
"Are we still talking about why I have a couch?"
"No," he laughed. "You left a message to come here right after work. What's that about?"
"Oh, that. I need you to sign off on some material for an ad campaign."
"Me? What are you talking about?"
Brian reached for a board lying on his desk. "I made some changes to the main Anti Prop 14 poster. I found a slogan that worked better than what I had." He set the board up on an easel by the window. It was a simple, black & white photo of a diverse group of adults.
Michael studied it. His lips parted in surprise as he read the caption: "Do we need to live the same lives to have the same rights?" He turned to Brian.
"It's perfect for the campaign," Brian explained. "It gets right to the heart of the matter. Something you're always good at."
Michael turned back to the poster to hide his embarrassment. "You really want to use it? I mean, it's just something I said without thinking."
"That's when you do your best work," he joked. "Yes, I want to use it. But I need your permission."
"Well -- sure, if you really think it's good enough."
"It's good enough." He watched with affectionate amusement as Michael became flustered and tried unsuccessfully to hide it. "So what's happening with the blood brothers? Is David still at your place around the clock or are he and Ben out in the woods hunting deer together?"
"He went back to Portland this morning." Michael finally turned away from the poster. "He stopped at the house before going to the airport."
"Lucky you."
"No, we wanted to say goodbye."
Brian frowned. "I thought you couldn't wait to see the back of him."
"Well -- at first, yeah. But we got together and worked it all out."
"Is that right?"
"Yeah, that's right! He's not really such a bad guy, you know."
"If you say so."
Michael's eyes wandered to the poster once more. "Actually, I felt kind of bad when he left."
"You did?" Brian stared at him, wondering what the hell had happened since Saturday.
"Yeah. He's not in town that often and it seems like we hardly got to spend any time with him at all!"