Disclaimer: Pet Fly and Paramount own the copyright to The Sentinel and its characters. This piece of fan fiction was written solely for the love of the characters and to share freely with other fans. No profit is being made from the posting of this story.

Acknowledgments: Many thanks to Mary for the fine beta job. Any errors remaining are mine.

Rating: NC-17 / FRAO

Warnings: Angst

Summary: On Christmas Eve, Blair sits vigil at Jim's hospital bedside, recalling how the two first became lovers.

Cover art by Natalie L

Comments welcome and appreciated at nat1228@comcast.net

He prayed it was just a dream, a nightmare, but when he opened his eyes, he was still in the hospital room, and Jim was still lying in a coma. Blair scrubbed at his face, trying to wake up, trying to make some sense of things. It was Christmas Eve, and this was not the way he'd dreamed of spending the holiday.

The accident had happened three days ago. They had walked out of the restaurant together, headed for the truck, when Jim spotted the arsonist he'd been after for the past fortnight. He'd thrown out his arm, blocking Blair's path, and told the younger man to wait. He'd then darted for the truck and taken off in a deadly pursuit. Blair watched in horror as, a mere two blocks later, Jim's truck spun out of control on an icy patch of road and had ended up smashed into a light pole.

The ambulance had come, and Blair had followed in a daze. Simon was kind enough to drive him and sit with him as they awaited the doctor's verdict. The prognosis was guarded. Jim had received a blow to the head which would have to be watched, but other than that, he'd escaped without serious injury. Only he'd been in a coma for the past three days, and the doctor couldn't tell Blair when, or if, he'd ever wake.

Blair had gone home only once since the accident. He'd showered and packed several changes of clothes, and purchased a small, living Christmas tree decorated with miniature ornaments and battery-operated lights. He'd set the decoration on the nightstand next to Jim's bed, and then resumed his vigil.

It couldn't end this way, it just couldn't. It had only just begun.

Blair cast his thoughts back to Halloween, the day that he and Jim had officially become lovers...

"Oh, no, Jim! You can't be serious!" Blair pointed at the blue velvet Renaissance-style gown that Jim had shoved toward him.

Laughing, Jim shrugged. "I waited too long to go to the costume shop, and this was all they had left that I could find in our sizes. What's wrong with going as Romeo and Juliet?"

"What's wrong with going as cowboys, or aliens, or gorillas?" Blair countered.

"But you wouldn't have to do much," Jim argued. "Just go shave your five-o-clock shadow. The hair is just fine as it is. I didn't have to rent the wig." He grinned at the disgruntled look on his friend's face.

Blair eyed the low-cut gown. "I'm not shaving any chest hair --"

"I wouldn't ask you to go that far," said Jim, shoving the gown into Blair's hands. As the younger man headed toward his room with the dress, Jim went upstairs to change into his own costume.

Ten minutes later, Jim was back downstairs in his outfit, complete with tights and flat, satin shoes that resembled ballet slippers. "Are you about ready?" he called at Blair's door. "The party has already started, and I'd like to get there before Brown drinks all the booze."

Blair's door slid open, and he walked out, still stuffing tissues into the brassiere of the dress to fill it out. A mat of curling, dark hairs peeked out around the neckline of the gown, giving its wearer a decidedly unfeminine look. "At least I can wear jeans and sneakers under this thing," he commented, looking up and flashing a grin at Jim. "I'm not sure I want to be seen in public, though." His eyes kept straying to Jim's tights, and the intriguing bulge at his groin.

"It can't be any worse than going out in this," Jim replied, sweeping his hands down the skimpy costume. "I feel like I'm practically naked." Blair flushed at the thought and his heart rate soared. Jim noticed, and became concerned at the sudden symptoms. "Are you all right? Blair?" He reached out to steady his friend, bracing Blair's shoulders with strong hands.

"I-I... Yeah, I'm fine," Blair answered, swallowing the lump forming in his throat.

"You look exquisite, you know that?" said Jim, closing the space between them. "That dress really brings out the color in your eyes."

Before Blair knew what was happening, Jim had kissed him. And it was no platonic kiss, no ordinary kiss... it was passionate and full of fire. Blair opened his mouth, letting Jim in, and their tongues danced together, exploring and tasting, until the two men were forced to part in order to breathe. Blair felt Jim's hand as it pulled down the zipper on the dress, and then peeled the velvet off his shoulders until the gown had pooled at his feet. He hadn't yet finished dressing when Jim had called him, so he now stood naked in the circle of Jim's arms. Strong hands cupped his buttocks, pulling him close, and Blair found himself being kissed once again, with a hunger that threatened to devour him.

He didn't argue when Jim took his hand to lead him upstairs. He watched with fascination as Jim quickly stripped off his own costume and joined Blair on the bed. The rest of the evening had been spent exploring each other's bodies, experimenting with what each other liked in the way of touch. Jim had Blair on his back and was kissing every inch of exposed skin. He knelt between Blair's bent knees and leaned down to kiss the tight pucker, forcing his tongue partway into the opening. The gesture had been Blair's undoing, and he'd had his first orgasm with Jim that night. Afterward, they'd slept, spooned together, in Jim's bed. And that was where he had slept every night since, until the accident...

Blair shook himself out of his reverie. His cock was swollen and aching from the sweet memory. They'd blown off the party and become a couple that night. The following weeks had been filled with figuring out their nascent relationship, with learning each other's likes and dislikes, and deciding to move forward slowly. By Thanksgiving, they had advanced to oral sex.

"It was nice of your dad to have us over for Thanksgiving dinner," Blair commented as they got ready for bed. "I'm glad that the two of you are finally mending fences."

Jim climbed onto the bed and gathered Blair into his arms. "Well, I wouldn't have gone at all, except that you wanted to so badly. But, yeah, it wasn't too bad, considering; and now I'm ready for dessert." He leaned in to kiss Blair, tonguing his mouth open and tasting the sweet flavor of his lover. His thumbs teased Blair's nipples, rubbing them to hard nubs and dragging a groan of aroused pleasure from Blair's throat.

Blair loved Jim's talented mouth; from the kisses that drove him to new heights of arousal to the tongue that tasted every inch of his body. Every night, Jim explored him and every night Jim could make him come simply by applying his lips to various erogenous zones. But up until tonight, neither man had explored the other's cock with anything other than their hands.

As Jim's lips kissed their way down Blair's chest and abdomen, Blair shivered with anticipation. Something was different about tonight, about the way Jim touched him. It was subtle, but it was there, sending a frisson of excitement down Blair's spine. Jim paused as he tongued Blair's navel, his chin being poked by the hard rod of Blair's cock. Slowly, Jim turned, maneuvering to face the prodding cock, straddling Blair's body.

Blair was presented with an enticing gift: Jim's turgid cock hung down almost directly over his mouth, a tiny pearl of pre-come poised to drip from the glans. He opened his mouth and extended his tongue, intending to lick the droplet. But before he made contact, every nerve ending in his body came alive, crackling with excitement. Jim's mouth had encased his cock and was now suckling the swollen head. Blair could feel Jim's tongue reach out to lick and swirl around his shaft, eventually taking him all the way into Jim's throat.

A wail of pure arousal erupted from Blair's throat, but was quickly silenced as Jim's cock entered his mouth, pumping shallowly. Blair's mind stopped functioning rationally as pleasure assaulted him from two directions. His cock pulsed as his body readied itself for climax. As he spiraled higher and higher toward orgasm, he found himself opening to Jim, allowing him to thrust fully into his mouth as his tongue laved the thick organ.

Suddenly, fireworks exploded behind Blair's eyes and it felt like the top of his head had been blown off. Semen filled his mouth and throat, overflowing to run down his chin. At the same time, his own cock was emptying into Jim, leaving Blair feeling a warm exhaustion creep over him. Closing his eyes, he was only remotely aware of Jim turning to face him, of Jim kissing him, and tasting himself on his lover. They spooned together, sated and complete, and slept.

Simon walked in and rested a hand on Blair's shoulder, bringing the young man out of his reverie once more.

"How's he doing?"

Blair looked up at the tall captain and sighed. "No sign of any change. The doctor was in here earlier, checking, but he didn't have anything more to tell me."

Simon frowned. "So we still don't know if he'll wake up, or when?"

"Not a clue," Blair said sadly, shaking his head.

"Daryl and I are having our Christmas celebration this evening so that he can go home to spend tomorrow with Joan. Would you like to come join us? We're having dinner -- nothing fancy -- and then plan to sing carols and open gifts."

"Thanks, Simon, but I need to stay here," said Blair, "just in case." He reached out to take Jim's hand and give it a gentle squeeze. "I want to spend Christmas with Jim."

"It'll only take a couple hours," Simon explained, "three at most. You've been here almost constantly since the accident. You need to get away."

Blair looked up at Simon, his eyes sad and empty. "I can't. Thanks, but I just can't."

Simon patted Blair's shoulder. "I understand. I probably couldn't leave, either, if our places were reversed." He gave Blair a nod of understanding. It hadn't been easy accepting that Jim was gay, or that he and Blair had chosen to become a couple, but now it seemed right, like this had always been meant to be. "You take care. If you need anything, you know who to call."

Nodding, Blair watched as Simon approached the bed, staring down for a few moments at the comatose sentinel. Then, quietly turning, Simon left them alone once more.

Blair dozed, and awoke with a start several hours later. Glancing at the clock, he saw that it was approaching midnight. Christmas was only minutes away; a Christmas he might spend alone and loveless. Shivering at the sobering thought, Blair's eyes glazed over as he remembered that just four short days ago, he and Jim had consummated their relationship. It had been the night before the accident...

"Mmmfpht! Mmmm..." Blair moaned, shifting under Jim's relentless kiss-attack. "Oh, God, Jim!" he gasped, when his lover finally let him come up for air. "I need you. I want you... in me...."

Jim stopped kissing Blair's neck and slid down onto the mattress next to his lover. "Are you sure?"

It was a big step, a huge step in their relationship. It was the final step to becoming the couple they had agreed to become. Blair nodded. "I'm sure. I've never been more sure of anything in my life."

Reaching over to the nightstand, Jim pulled open the top drawer and grabbed the tube of lubricant that had been waiting for this night. "Roll over." Jim indicated Blair should roll facing away. Blair complied, baring his ass and shivering with anticipation. "This will be a little cool," Jim warned, squeezing the lube onto a finger and reaching down to tease at Blair's tight opening. The younger man twitched at the touch, but quickly relaxed. "I want to make sure that you're stretched really well before we try anything, okay?"

"Okay." Blair took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He'd held one secret from his lover: he was still a virgin to anal penetration. As Jim's finger breached the tight muscle and entered his body, Blair couldn't help but tense slightly; the sensation was so foreign. But it didn't hurt; not much, at least. Forcing himself to relax again, he made appreciative little noises to appease Jim.

Jim pushed his finger in farther, wiggling it to stroke the satin-smooth walls of Blair's rectum. His lover squirmed, impaling himself completely on the invading digit. Slowly, Jim pulled out, teasing the sphincter muscle as he exited, and coated two fingers with the gel. "Are you ready for this, Sweetheart? I'm coming back with two." Blair nodded, his body tensing slightly. Jim paused and reached out to rest a hand on Blair's hip.

"You can't fool your sentinel, you know."

"W-What do you mean?" Blair asked, craning his neck to look back over his shoulder at Jim.

"I know this is our first time, but it's your first time, too, isn't it?"

A blush of embarrassment crept up Blair's neck to color his cheeks. "Does it show that much?"

Jim smiled and bent over to place a chaste kiss on Blair's forehead. "Not to anyone else, maybe," he said. "But I can tell. We don't have to do this now, if you don't want to."

Blair felt himself warm and relax at the thoughtful words. Jim truly was his lover, in all senses of the word -- kind and considerate, caring.... Taking a deep breath, he smiled. "I want to do this. Truly I do, Jim," he said in his most sincere voice. "Just take it slow, okay?"

Jim nodded. "Relax. Two fingers are going to stretch you more, and you might be a little uncomfortable." He began to tease at Blair's anus, probing gently for entrance. "Let me know if it gets to be too much." At Blair's nod, he pushed harder, burying his fingers up to the first knuckle.

Blair groaned, but then gasped, "Okay. It's okay. Okay. Keep going."

With his free hand, Jim began to rub soothing circles between Blair's shoulder blades, giving his lover another sensation to focus on as he slipped his fingers deeper inside. Taking his time, Jim slowly scissored his fingers, stretching the tight muscle and feeling it relax under his touch. With a smile, he rubbed the small mound of Blair's prostate.

Blair groaned as arousal spiked through him, making his cock twitch and pre-come dribble from the swollen glans. "What...? What did you... do...?"

"I'm making love to you," Jim whispered sensually.

"Oh, God, love me more," Blair gasped, grabbing his cock and pulling. As Jim dove deeper, stretching him further, Blair's arousal began to spiral out of control. "Take me, Jim! Now... please!"

Jim removed his fingers and with one swift stroke, his lubed cock slid into the prepared hole, filling his lover.

The moment of discomfort was over quickly, and Blair reveled in the connection, of being one body, one soul with Jim. This was where he belonged, where they belonged. As the cock inside him began to move, Blair let out a low moan of pleasure. He willingly released his own cock when Jim's hand slid around to take over. Giving in to the sensations flooding his body from within and without, Blair began to move along with Jim, playing a counterpoint harmony to Jim's melody. The two moved together as one, each accentuating the other, moving themselves closer and closer to the brink. As Blair's orgasm swept through him, he cried out Jim's name, spraying Jim's hand with his essence as his internal muscles clamped down hard on the invading cock. He heard Jim's cry... and felt himself fill with Jim's seed.

It had only taken a few minutes, and yet the time they spent joined felt like a heavenly eternity. An eternity they would spend together...

The clock on the nightstand tolled midnight. Blair turned his attention briefly to the small Christmas tree next to Jim's bed. Melancholy settled over him as he realized that their eternity together had been very short-lived. A tear tracked its way down his cheek, making a path for the next tear to follow. "Oh, Jim... Why?" he whispered.

He looked up, startled, as he felt the soft brush of a hand across his tear-stained cheek. Turning to the bed, he saw Jim watching him. "Jim!" Love and gratitude filled Blair's heart as he flung himself onto the bed, hugging Jim and kissing him with gentle passion.

"Love you." Jim's voice was soft and hoarse as one arm came around Blair's shoulders to hold him in a light embrace.

"Oh, God, Jim! I love you, too! Merry Christmas!" Wrapped in the warmth of Jim's embrace, Blair began to sob once more. But this time his tears were of joy, a joy for an eternity yet to be realized.