Introduction to Reality

It had worked.

Will stood dripping on the deck of the Black Pearl, still not entirely able to
comprehend that his hair brained escape plan had *actually* worked. There was
no way that it could have worked! It was doomed to failure from the first! He
hadn't done it because he expected to get away with it. He'd done it because
he‘d had no choice. He *had* to do it. Not trying to save Jack simply
hadn't been an option. How could he have lived with himself if they'd killed
the man for saving him? For saving Elizabeth...

He stopped himself there. Best not to think of Elizabeth. Which wasn't as
hard at the present moment as it should have been. But Jack was there and
somehow, it had always been hard to think of Elizabeth when Jack was near. It
was Jack banging gold and treasure around in that island cave, as though to
purposefully remind Will that he *was* there, that had made it impossible for
Will to say the things he'd been meaning to say to Elizabeth at that moment.
He was just too conscious that Jack was present, that Jack would hear... How
could he look into Elizabeth's eyes and lose himself in them as he always had,
when Jack was so close? The pirate had stayed his tongue just by existing it
seemed, and Will hadn't known why.

He wasn't sure he understood it all now. But he now knew some things he hadn't
known then. He'd had time to think about it since - on the boat back to the
ship, on the ship back to Port Royal, in his own bed back at the Smithy while
he counted off the hours until Jack's date with the hangman... Oh, he'd had
time to think.

Jack's reality had been like a gag in that cave, stopping him from making any
promises to Elizabeth. He'd felt himself tied, not to the lady he'd - kind of
- rescued, but to the insane pirate who'd - sort of - helped him do it. His
goal had always been her; Jack was a means to an end for Will as Will himself
had been a means to an end for Jack. For Will to still feel anything binding
them to one another when it was over was utterly impossible and utterly insane.
But then again, so was Jack. That he was mad was without question. And from
to the top of his beat up old hat to the soles of his boots, he was a study in
that which shouldn't exist. *Captain* Sparrow always did just as he pleased -
regardless of what was actually possible or rational. As Gibbs had pointed
out, reason had nothing to do with it.

However, that shouldn't have made any difference when it came to Elizabeth.
She'd always been there, a constant presence since Will was a child. Miss
Elizabeth Swann, a dream of perfection who he could never bring himself to call
by her Christian name. And Will loved that dream. More than anything else in
his life, he'd loved the image of her perfection in his mind. He'd lived in a
fantasy world of the chivalric ideal where the unworthy knight worshipped his
lady from afar. Will had poured the fervor of his devotion into steel,
creating in his swords a perfection worthy of being made in her honor. Worthy
as the lowly blacksmith who'd formed them could never be.

A perfect fairytale until Captain Jack Sparrow had arrived and torn everything
to shreds by the sheer force of his existence. He'd dragged Will into the real
world whether he liked it or not. Will should have been horrified to see to
see his dream of the perfect woman cracked and destroyed when Miss Swann became
Elizabeth. Elizabeth, with her dress torn and her hair dirty. Elizabeth, who
knew about ships and sailors and pirate codes Will had never heard of.
Elizabeth, who could shout orders to a crew in a voice of command that any
captain would envy, even if she *was* standing there barefoot and filthy,
shouting at a motley pirate crew. Will should have wept to see his goddess
fall to earth, tarnished and flawed and more a hero than he himself was.

It wasn't until it was all over that he realized his heart wasn't broken. It
wasn't until he stood in his Smithy again and tried to understand *why* he
hadn't been able to say the words he'd always wanted to say to her and *why*
the fact that he'd lost her to another man hadn't broken him into a thousand
pieces. He thought about her as he'd seen her standing there then - Elizabeth,
not Miss Swann - and he finally realized that even more than he'd loved his
dream, he respected the woman he'd seen fight like the devil himself. And at
the moment he realized that, he knew that his dream and his goddess were gone
forever.

Will cared for Elizabeth deeply, but he did not love her as he'd loved his
dream. He couldn't pretend that Elizabeth was the woman he'd thought about
every day for so long, and he respected her too much to even try. She deserved
better than that, and maybe... so did he.

Which explained why his heart was still intact and why he *shouldn't* have
opened his mouth back on the Isla de Muerta, but didn't quite explain why he
*hadn't*. It didn't explain the tie to Jack that was strong enough to die for.
Will's plan to free the pirate from the gallows shouldn't have worked. He'd
kept expecting a bullet or a sword in his back right up till the moment they'd
jumped from the battlements. The loss of Will's childish world of pretend
shouldn't have ended with him standing back on a pirate ship, having just
committed a hanging crime.

Will still hadn't figured out the solution to that one. This was no fantasy;
he had no illusions about who or what Jack was. Jack had always managed to be
more solidly real to him than Elizabeth had ever been, and all Will really knew
was that he couldn't be without that reality anymore, even if the man himself
was most likely certifiably insane. So Will had braved death for a shot at
keeping Jack here - in the world of the living.

And Jack *was* here, solid and real and dripping water on the deck of his
beloved ship. Which was impossible all things considered, meaning it fit with
everything else about Jack Sparrow nicely. Will couldn't take his eyes off
him, disbelieving and still too stunned to feel relieved yet.

Jack, however, took no notice of Will and was staring at Anamaria, who stood at
the helm,
looking as though she'd grown used to command in the short time since the crew
had taken the Black Pearl.

"Captain Sparrow." She swayed toward them with Jack's coat in her hands and
Will held his breath at the covetous glint in Jack's eyes. Anamaria stepped
behind him and slipped the jacket over his shoulders. "The Black Pearl is
yours," she said simply.

That was all it took to get Jack moving and there was reverence in his touch as
he stepped forward to run his hands over the wheel, caressing his ship once
more. Anamaria had ceased to exist for the moment, and Will found himself
letting his breath out slowly. Relieved about something, though he wasn't sure
what exactly.

Then Jack was shouting orders and Will just tried to stay out of the way as the
ship exploded into action around him. He edged closer to Jack as the captain
checked the compass that never pointed north and sang softly under his breath.
The crew had the ship well under control and there wasn't much for Will to do,
even if he had understood the workings of it as well as they did - which he
didn't. He understood what most of them were doing, but not well enough to
barge in without explicit instructions. So he just crept closer to Jack,
watching the crew and the waves and the captain...

The sun was warm and Will relaxed under the heat as the Black Pearl put some
distance between her and Port Royal with no sign of immediate pursuit. He knew
without bothering to question it that Elizabeth would try to stall the pursuit
of them as best she could. She hadn't wanted Jack hung any more than Will had.
So far, her efforts seemed to be panning out nicely as the land slowly faded
into the distance with no other ships in sight. It was all that Jack and his
Pearl needed to ensure they wouldn't be caught - not this time anyway.

"Will," Jack said suddenly, pulling Will from the hazy feeling of unreality
he'd been slowly falling into. "Go fetch Anamaria for me and tell Gibbs I want
this deck scrubbed well before nightfall. Then come to the captain's quarters
and we'll have ourselves a drink."

Jack issued the orders sharply, his eyes still trained on the horizon and the
hint of a satisfied smile hovering on his lips.

"Alright," was all Will could think to say before hurrying off to do as he'd
been told. He had no idea what his place on this vessel was to be; he hadn't
thought of anything past trying to get Jack free. The thought of ‘what now'
hung over his head like an executioner's axe. He wasn't an experienced sailor,
he didn't know what he was doing, really, and he was still uncertain about the
idea of *actually* becoming a pirate - for all that his father had been one.

Will told Anamaria to head up to Jack, staring after her momentarily and
wondering why he felt oddly jealous before moving off again to find Gibbs.
When he finally headed back towards the rear of the ship - the stern, he
reminded himself, he was going to have to get these terms straight - he saw
that Anamaria had taken the helm and the captain was nowhere to be seen.

Anamaria nodded to Will as he passed and he forced himself to smile at her. He
liked the woman; why he was suddenly so wary of her confused him more than a
little.

The captain's quarters were not hard to find, nor was Jack once those quarters
were located. He sat at a desk with his feet propped up on it, a glass in one
hand and a self-satisfied smirk on his lips. Will was annoyed even before he'd
shut the door behind him.

"Welcome to the Pearl," Jack said smugly. "Told you pirating was in your
blood, lad."

Will frowned, folding his arms across his chest. Jack was far too
self-satisfied considering he should be thanking Will profusely. "I didn't do
this for any love of your... occupation. I did it because it was the right
thing to do under the circumstances. You saved my life and Elizabeth's life."

"I was trying to get me ship back," Jack pointed out. "Which I did."

"Nonetheless," Will insisted stubbornly. "My sense of honor would not allow me
to see you die for saving our lives. I... was obligated to at least try. Thus
proving I'm not cut out for piracy," he sighed ruefully. "Though that now
seems the only avenue open to me."

"We're even then now, are we?" Jack smirked. "You're missing one thing,
though. A life for a life is definitely a pirate... sensibility." He frowned.
"Although it's usually more along the lines of if you kill my mate, I kill you
*and* yours - you always have to pay debts back with interest. But no matter,"
he said waving it away as inconsequential. He swung his boots off the desk and
leaned forward, smiling up at Will with an intense look in his eyes. "You're
aboard a pirate ship now, mate. You goin' to join us, then, or should we drop
you at the next port so you can make your way back to Port Royal?"

"I can't go back there, Jack. Not now, you know that. Norrington would have
me strung up by the next sunrise." Will couldn't help but look away. He'd
faced and accepted that he was going to end up with a bullet in the back or at
the end of a hangman's rope for attempting to save Jack. But facing the
reality of becoming a *pirate* for him - or because of him - was something else
entirely. Saving Jack was a cause he could die for, but was it something he
could live with? He was happy to see Jack alive and well, but the reality of
having lost the life he'd had before was a heavy one. He supposed it would be
easier if he knew exactly what was going to happen to him now. He wasn't used
to a sailor's life and he wasn't sure how much use he'd be on the ship. That
wasn't taking into account the looting and pillaging... He didn't like to think
of himself as capable of that. But then, wasn't Jack a pirate *and* good man
in his own odd way? Just because it was unconventional, did that necessarily
mean it was the wrong course?

"Well, it's your decision, o' course," Jack said lightly. Will heard the
scrape of his chair on the floor and glanced uncertainly at the ship's captain
as he stood and swayed over to the sideboard to pour himself another drink.
"I've got the Pearl back and that's what I wanted. But now... well, I find
myself in a bit of a quandary, ya might say. You see," Jack said, turning back
to Will and gesturing with his glass as he swayed toward him. "I've got my
ship back and I'll not be losing her again. I've learned my lesson. I've got
to be extra careful about the crew, of course. But then there's me First Mate
to consider. Looking back, Barbossa wasn't what you'd call a good...
investment."

Will smirked in spite of himself. "Rather an understatement," he commented.

Jack paused as though considering Will's observation. "Yes, it probably is.
My point, though, is that as reliable as I feel this crew to be, I have to be
even *more* careful with my First Mate. I have to be able to *actually* trust
him, which means he's got to have some kind of... honor. And tha's not
something you find a lot of among pirates." Jack had stopped less than an inch
away from Will and now looked intently into his eyes. Will held his breath,
wondering if he was hearing this right. "What do you say, mate?"

His gaze bored into Will. "I'm not much of a sailor," Will murmured uneasily.
To say he was stunned by the offer would have been a vast understatement.

"I'll teach you." For once, Will couldn't see any humor in Jack's eyes, he was
perfectly serious. "It's in your blood and you've been learnin' fast so far.
But can you sail under the command of a pirate?

Will couldn't help but smile. It seemed so long ago that Jack had first asked
that question.

"Yes," he found himself saying, before he'd even realized that he *had* come to
a decision. "Yes, I can sail under your command - I have before. And yes, I
accept your offer."

Will jumped slightly as Jack slapped his hand on Will's shoulder and shook him
slightly. "Smart move, my lad," he crowed. "Smart move indeed. This calls
for a drink!" He frowned at the glass in his hand and took a long swallow.
"Not this stuff, though. It's terrible. Must have been Barbossa's, he never
did have any taste in liquor, even *before* he was cursed. My first order as
your captain is for you to go find us something worth drinking," he declared,
waving Will over toward the sideboard. "This requires a toast!"

"Aye, captain," Will chuckled. Despite the usual relaxation of Jack's posture,
he could see his pleasure at Will's decision in the glint of his eyes. Will
himself was far from displeased, though still a little shocked. He'd been
prepared to take on a any menial position on the ship that was tossed his way.
After all, he was the only one there with no real sailing experience. He'd
rather assumed that either Gibbs or Anamaria would become Jack's new First
Mate. After all, they were well-seasoned sailors, while Will was merely a
blacksmith.

However, as he opened the sideboard cabinet and shifted through the bottles
there, he thought he could possibly see Jack's mind a little in this decision.
Gibbs and Anamaria sailed by the Code. They had both been willing to abandon
Jack after they'd wrested the Black Pearl from Barbossa's crew. Yes, they'd
come to Port Royal to pick him up, but he wouldn't have been in that position
if they'd stayed around to pick him up before. Only Will had ignored the Code
and had shown himself loyal to *Jack*, even if it meant putting himself at
risk. Jack as been duped into trusting a First Mate he shouldn't have before
now. This time there weren't going to be any mistakes. Barbossa had claimed
loyalty to his captain, Will had no doubt. But Will had already proven his
before Jack had ever offered him the position of First Mate. So now he'd take
a First Mate he could trust over one who could actually sail. Will was deeply
touched by Jack's vote of confidence in this. He could only hope the crew
understood their captain's decision as Will did, and didn't take offense at the
rapid elevation of one who hadn't spent his life at sea.

"There is one thing I have to know, though," Jack said, nearly causing Will to
drop the bottle he'd been examining. He was surprised to find Jack at his side
again, frowning at him. "You left the girl behind. She's off to marry her
Commodore, I suppose."

Will nodded, carefully setting the bottle down, wondering where these questions
were going. "Yes," he confirmed. "But then, you knew she was engaged to him."

"I was there when she agreed to do it, mate. My point is, she agrees to marry
someone else, you fail to woo her away from him when you had the chance, and
then you turn around and nearly get yourself killed rescuing yours truly. So,
I find meself wondering... what were you really after today? To save me life -
certainly a worthwhile cause - or were you thinking more about the part where
they were going to hang you for it later?"

"What?" Will asked in some surprise, turning to face Jack more fully. "I told
you that I had to try, after all..."

Jack interrupted him with a wave of the hand. "Your sense of honor isn't being
impugned, boy. What I'm worried about is havin' a First Mate more interested
in getting himself on the wrong end of a musket than of gettin' the treasure
that musket's defending, savvy?"

Will blinked in surprise. "I'm not out to commit suicide, Jack. I'm willing
to accept death if I have to, but that's not the same thing as wanting it."

"Even though you lost the girl?" Jack questioned closely.

"I was willing to die to rescue her," Will said firmly. "But it doesn't mean
that my life is over if she's married to Norrington. I care about her, her
safety and her happiness. But she's not mine, nor am I hers. Her choice of
him has not broken me or my heart."

"Well, why not?"

"I... don't really know," he admitted, taken a little aback by the directness
of the question. He wasn't sure he wanted to try and explain his revelations
where Elizabeth was concerned to Jack just now. It was all still so
complicated and confusing, even if he was sure he'd made the right choice. "I
thought that it would and then it didn't. I'm almost happy for her and I don't
know..."

"Your heart wasn't in it as much as ye though, eh?" Jack asked. His eyes
flickered downward a little as he swayed just a bit closer, and Will wondered
what he was looking at.

"I guess not," he answered. The air seemed to be leaving the room a little at
a time and his own eyes flickered downward as well. He found himself suddenly
focused on Jack's mouth, realizing how close the other man was.

"You found losing your girl didn't break your heart, and so you came after me."

Will laughed a little breathlessly. "You make it sound like..." he broke off
as he met Jack's eyes again. They were boring into him, humor having fled once
more.

*Jack knows exactly what he made that sound like,* Will thought, suppressing a
shiver that threatened to run up his spine. Jack was so close now, Will could
almost feel his breath against him. But he leaned in the rest of the way very
slowly, never releasing Will's gaze, eyebrows raised in an unspoken question.
Will answered the question by not backing away.

Jack's lips were firm, but surprisingly gentle against Will's, and Will closed
his eyes to better focus on the feel of them. There had been kisses over the
years; Will was good looking enough to have been offered several and for all
his devotion to Elizabeth, he hadn't refused all of them. However, his limited
knowledge did not include kissing other men. In fact... if it were anyone but
Jack kissing him, he'd have been too shocked to respond all. But Will was
finding that where Jack was concerned, he was losing his ability to be
surprised. Even the fact that he liked the feel of his captain's lips didn't
unnerve him as much as it should have. And though the heat that suddenly
bloomed in his chest as the realization finally hit that Jack Sparrow was
*kissing* him caught him off guard, it didn't shock him as it should have. It
didn't horrify him. More than anything, it felt *right* somehow, as though
he'd been waiting for this without ever realizing it.

*So, this is why,* he thought a little dazedly. *This is why my heart wasn't
broken, this is why I couldn't declare my love for Elizabeth with Jack in
earshot. This is why I'm on this ship now, why I'm going to sail with him
instead of staying in Port Royal to try and win her back.* There wasn't room
for shock or even surprise, not with the relief of having those questions
finally answered filling his mind. He could almost have laughed at how
dull-witted he'd been. What other reason could he have had for choosing Jack
over Elizabeth, which was what he'd basically done that day. She'd been a
dream, but Jack was a warm reality. That some men desired other men in this
way was nothing new to him, he'd simply never thought of himself as one of that
sort. So he'd remained oblivious to the complexities of the situation because
the truth simply hadn't occurred to him - until now. The desire to laugh with
relief and self-deprecation was only held at bay the greater desire to explore
this further.

When Jack finally parted his lips to run a questioning tongue over Will's, Will
responded with an eagerness that seemed to take the older man by surprise.
Will's hands slipped up and around the back of Jack's neck as he tilted his
head, taking advantage of Jack's slightly open mouth to deepen the kiss. Jack
jumped a little, obviously not expecting Will's sudden attack. But he felt his
lips curl themselves into a smile a moment later.

"You're an eager one, aren't you," Jack commented warmly, pulling far enough
back to look his First Mate in the eyes. There was a new heat in his gaze.

"I just know when I'm being offered something worth having." Will felt a
little giddy, though he'd yet to touch the drinks in the cabinet beside them.

"Do you now?" Jack murmured. "That's a very good ability for a pirate to
have." That teasing tongue flickered out against Will's mouth again, but when
he tried to capture it, Jack leaned back. "You do realize, though, that you're
not going to get any kind of special treatment because of this. As First Mate
you'll have work to do and I won't go easy on ye, either."

"I wouldn't expect you to," Will grinned.

"Good," Jack replied before pulling Will firmly against him and teaching him a
few new things about kissing the tradesmen's daughters Will had kissed before
had probably never dreamed of. The small part of Will's mind that could still
think had no doubt that there was more knowledge where that came from. The
captain of the Black Pearl had more to teach his new First Mate than just how
to sail a ship, and Will applied himself to the first of those lessons as he
would to all of them - with a single-minded intensity befitting a pirate.


fini.

***

                            
Email Author                         Story Index