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If Only...
BY: Nita Riddle*** The clashes of metal of metal,
steel on steel reverberated across
the two ships. It was a brief fight, the pirates had been strong but they had not expected the British Navy to pour out from the helm of the disguised ship. It had stopped when they captured the Captain of course. Each officer could barely restrain themselves from spitting on his face, some, couldn't and spat with a passion as the pirate leader was lead of his ship, hands bound behind his back, head held high in a care free annoyed way, as if he knew for certain he would be free in the end. All this one man watched quietly, forcing to disguise his true feelings on the matter. Commodore Gillette stood high observing everything with proud eyes from the bow of his ship. He had not been the Commodore for more than a year since the last commodore, James Norrington had left. He took a relish in every act he committed against pirates, it was worse than the witch hunts that had been pulled in the colonies. The Commodore had even had the Turners, Elizabeth, and Will, hanged when they managed to track down Bootstrap Bill Turner and had arranged for him to stay with them in their home, saying that it was proof of them committing crimes against the crown by protecting a wanted criminal, Commodore Gillette was a harsh man who was far too brutal on pirates where Norrington had merely been strict. Hanging was too quick a death for pirates, in his book. Instead, he would have the pirates locked in cells without food, nor drink, for three days at the end of which, he would place a large picture of pure salt water in there with them. The dehydrated starving pirates would unthinkingly mistake the water for freshwater, and drink down the lot without being able to stop themselves even when they do recognize the water for what it really is; a most agonizing and inhuman death. The Commodore looked down upon the small group of pirates, and naught could tell what he planned to do with them. His eyes fell upon the female pirate and one sailor, felt his heart stop. Anamaria. Oh god, what had she done to become involved with these low class pirates. She stood defiant, even knowing that no matter which of the fates she could be given by this madman of a Commodore, none would be pleasant on her physically or mentally. "Take the whore and the rest of the pirates down into the helm. We head back for Port Royal tomorrow morning." Commodore nodded his head and the officers instantly began to move, without being ordered each specifically. The pirate crew was dragged off, some silent, others, mainly Anamaria, were dragged away kicking and cursing. It took seven men to carry her down. And that was with her bound and gagged. Officer Jared Black's face remained a bland mask, yet underneath he screamed and cried and beat frantically at the walls of his body. His heart was not heart enough to take it, and as black as it was, he could almost feel it crumble and crack with each beat it took. He could do nothing, he could say nothing. The only way he could win was to survive, as he had always done. Morris walked up to him and gestured with his hand to follow him. Jared followed behind him, the gesture could only mean they had guard duty but that was impossible since Ivan and Hansen had the first watches over the pirates. Morris lead him towards the room and when Jared noticed this, his knees buckled for a moment, but he continued to walk. The Room were the quarters where Commodore Gillette sent the special prisoners. The one's who would not receive the mercy of any death at all. Fear filled within him, as the entered and was confirmed when he saw the pirate leader sitting down on the wine red floor of the room. "Officer Black, you're to guard the prisoner for the next fortnight until we reach Port Royal. You will be responsible for any arrangement necessary for the piece of filth," here he spat at the prisoner. "As well as any security measures. If you feel any type of force of violence is necessary, feel free to proceed." It was a command Jared was dared not argue with. He merely nodded to show he understood the arrangement and Morris left. The bandana tied in his hair and the short braids that dangled just above shoulder level didn't seem to make Captain Alexander Rogue, as he was called, appear threatening. Cotton tatters of clean grey green clothe covered little of his upper body, and the loose trousers looked no less delectable on him, than they had their last owner. The face looked upwards to reveal brown mocking eyes that looked over Jared. "Hmmm, black poncey hair tied back in a ponytail, dark eyes, and the navy uniform. Your mum must be real right proud of you, sir. You have to feel some pride yourself, being chosen to watch over me. Captain Alex Rogue. Who would have suspected that Gillette would track me down, eh?" He drawled out, in a guttural tone but the false accent could not hide the faint clean crisp speech he once spoke in, nor could it disguise his once high society pattern of words that echoe'd through Jared memories until he surpressed them again, as always. He pulled himself up to a standing position and walked around his quarters, "So this is it. The infamous Room. I always thought I'd end up here. Well, you know, when Gillette made this room. Heard a rumor that he made it, especially for me. I wonder how many people it took to stain the walls this shade of red with their blood." Jared could say nothing but stare in an emotional instability of feelings rushing about inside. He stopped to smirk, "Well, he won't hold on to me for long. Gillette used to look up to me, the snot nosed prick, back when I was Commodore Norrington. Good god I hated my life back then. Glad to see so much has changed since I left office. What did you say your name was again?" Don't speak. Don't speak to him. Never again speak to him. He must be lying. James Norrington's dead. He has to be dead. "Officer J. Black." Captain Norrington walked up to Jared and studied him carefully. Too close, too close, and why could he stop him? Before his eyes, James's expression turned to one of disbelief and shock. He stepped backwards, and pain flashed in his eyes before the shock hid it. "Oh my god." He's guess the secret. He can't tell. He can't tell anyone. It can't all be for nothing. Things are different now. They have to be. "Be quiet," Jared clenched his hands into fists. "Oh my GOD!" the Captain yelled leaping backwards. "Silence!" Jared roared at him loosing control. "It's really you! I mean, I hadn't believed it when they said you died but there you are! How could you do it Jack, How could you betray every one like this! You, Jack Sparrow, of all pirates, how the hell could y-" "STOP IT!" He screamed and hit Norrington across the face in the middle of his speech. Hitting him again and again and again. Unable to stop himself he let loose the rage and frustration he kept pent up and unleashed it all on him. The face was as soft as he remembered, even though browned by the sun and his hair, roughened by the winds. His lips, though broken now, looked as inviting as they had when he stole his first kiss. Jack, no Jared, his name now was Jared, began to tire. Norrington looked as if he about to begin to giggle madly any second, even though bruises were beginning to appear in blacks, blues, and purples. Bead of red blood coming out of his split lips. "I'll take it you don't want to talk to me. That's fine, we have two weeks to be chummy old pals, like we were way back then. When you used to scream my name in the darkest of nights, when you would ride me, sing to me, love me. Plenty of time to reminisce and made share a secret or two. After all, I'm the pirate Captain now, and you're the officer. It's my time to bring some one to the dark side. All in good time." Wincing Captain Alex managed to lie down on the cot provided for him in one corner of the room and began to sing the song. Jared favorite song back when... back before..... No. Never again would he think of those times. But he couldn't help but feel something stir each time he sang along in his mind. Yo ho, yo ho, a pirates life for me. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Jared sat at one end of the room glaring in the Captains direction. Just guard the prisoner, do what you're told. That's one thing about being in the Navy, you just do as you're told and never have to worry about a thing. You simply are, and you simply do. The Captain was lying absent mindedly on his back looking rather bored as he braided his hair. A devilish smile which had not been there covered his lips. Jared had been in the same room with him for an hour. He had already decided the Watches. Nelson would watch on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Reynolds would be able to watch on Saturday, Thursday, and Tuesday. That stuck Jared with Sundays. Of course, that was only the day shifts. At night, Jared was going to watch him as well. He still had four hours left in the room with Ja-, no, with Captain Alex before replacing himself with Reynolds. Until then, he would stand next to the only exit in the room, while Captain Alex would sit on the bed. The mad captain had been humming pirate songs while braiding his hair nonchalantly. It drove Jared slowly mad. He wanted to grab him and scream, "What are you playing at James? You liar! You fake! James Norrington died years ago when the Commodor burned down Tortuga! Who are you really?! How dare you?!" He wanted to scream and shout and cry but he couldn't, because it was not his duty. It hadn't been who he was in years and it would never be that way again. Not if he wanted to live. Not if he wanted to keep his promise to his mother, and the Turners as well. God rest their souls. All four of them. He wished he could return to his sleeping quarters, just so he could pull out the drawing he had made of Will, Elizabeth, and their little girl, Jacklin. His god daughter Jackie. He wished he could go and loose himself in his daydreams of another life. A life that did not exist but a happy one, where everything was thrill, adventure, friends, and family. Where a bottle of rum and a ship full of pirates were his closest friends. A time where he helped save the girl for the hero, and had gotten his hope and his freedom once again upon the ghost ship that haunted his nightmares. Of a world where rough hands, strong muscles, and loving lips slid along the contours of his body. Then he would awaken the next morning, nightmares leaving him slowly. He knew if he called them anything other than nightmares of an imaginary life, his own would be gone and so would his sanity. Because, if he called them dreams, hopes, or memories, the pain of it all would be too much to bear. A cocky grin peered out from under braid towards him. Two familiar eyes following his own, and capturing them in the serpents' hypnosis. The cobra capturing the snake charmer. He gave a jackal smile before starting to speak abruptly. "I was always watching you. Always have been. Even when we were kids." Liar. Fraud. Jared Black never knew you. Jack Sparrow never… he never… James Norrington was dead… The confused sailor shook his head to clear the mind. It only made the pirate smile broader. "Remember good old William Turner Senior? Back he was he William Turner, the fourth, of course. Of all the times I remember this one time, when he was really a true right little chap. Back when he decided to change his name? Oh, you never saw me there. I was hiding. I was only seventeen. Between your fifteen, and Williams fourteen looking eighteen, he was such an old acting man, just that one time. Good old William, crying all those years ago, `I can't be William anymore. William was weak. William Turner was bullied, pushed around. William was worse than nothing g, he was a waist.'" "Remember that night? Midnight, our usual spot as it always was, and always had been. Edge of the beach, the spot right before the rocks and the breakers." Yes he could see it again. The three of them on the white beach. Breakers only 20 feet away but the water washed on their sand, gentle as any kitten on earth. Leafy palm tree would cover their flanks, keeping the spot a secret to all but those who knew the trail. The moon shone down, only slightly fuller than the normal half moon, but bright, making shadows and monsters in the tree covered land. The safe feeling [place, and the cool breeze wafting the scent of salt in the air. Jared blinked and he saw the wine red walls of the Room once again. How. Dare. He. How dare James ever try to pull that trick, to drag him to his home and his heart again! James's smile eased into a classic smirk. "You reached out for your beloved little merchant cousin, `You'll always be William to me.' I believe were your exact words. I got to watch him flinch and pull away from you. How did you keep from crying, Jack me love? Your closest friend and most beloved cousin, although not in that way, were pushing you away. Your last tie to any part of your old life turned his back on you." "'It's Bill now,' he said. He didn't meet your eyes, instead choosing to look at the sea. You could not help but laugh, I remember. You mocked him with your reply. `Once you would have given anything to be William Turner the Fourth, a gentleman of society, the wealthiest merchant in Port Royal.' The irony in that was almost sweeter than the tears which William could not see, threatening to pass your face. Only fifteen and still with your chubby cheeks and childish charm." "Back then I would have done almost anything to have the life he tried to reject. I'm glad now, of course that I took to the Navy. I wouldn't have found you again, and I certainly wouldn't have gotten to find rum, or the pure pleasures of Tortuga, or even our darling, beloved Black Pearl." "The Black Pearl was mine!" Jack screamed with rage, yet he had only screamed it in his mind. He hadn't dared to yell aloud. Nearly in tears Jack raised his hand to slap James Norrington in a blind rage from the ridicule he gave to a private moment of his life, buried so deep within Jack no… Jared could not help but become confused and torn from his own life now, and the two lives he had worked so hard to forget. James raised his hands in front of him, swaying back in a mocking shadow of Jack's moves all that time ago, "Not until I finish our little story lover… Don't you remember the bitterness in his voice and the cold blankness in his body when William said, `Times have changed.' After a moment he said, `James watched the first pirate he ever capture hanged today.' And true with his story, I had. Your mother would have been so proud, Jack me love. After all, your Father had been killed by pirates. Then you went all sad and quiet before you said-" "I know. I said, `I know'" Jack had interrupted; He sank towards the ground, blank and broken. He remembered the dark memory clearly, reliving those seconds over and over again in his mind so that, what felt like hours was merely the touch of a second. James laughed delightedly, looking thrilled when Jack moved his head upwards, fixing his deadened stare on him. James squat down in front of Jack, leaning forward only a little, using one hand to brace him, placing his rough salt ripped and broken lips upon Jack's soft ones in a gentle kiss of freedom. He pulled away leaving the faintest whiff of dried blood under Jack's nose. "You can't turn your back on who you are lover, any more than you can turn your back on what you're meant to become." James stood up and showed his soul deep sadness for one manipulating moment. "You can't choose that any more than you can choose with whom you fall in love." He turned and sat back on his cot, finishing braiding his hair. Jack picked himself off the floor slowly and exited the room. Jack took a deep breath in and Jared took a deep breath out. "Right, someone fetch Reynolds, it's his watch over the prisoner." |
