Author's Notes: This story came about from an inside joke between me and Melrae.

John's POV:

We've been back on earth for almost a week. After three days of debriefings at the SGC -- which I still can't figure out the reason for because nothing has really changed in the Pegasus Galaxy since we were here six months ago -- Nick called me to the manor.

I was a bit surprised to receive the summons considering all that's happened since I left for Atlantis. I kinda figured he wouldn't have any more time off left. But I guess having a Chosen for a boss comes in handy when you need to take care of Clan business.

Rodney's butt has been glued to the couch in front of the wide screen TV in my room for about 50 of the 72 hours we've been at the manor. Including today.

I return from a meeting with my sire to find Rodney fairly drooling all over the floor. He's got the same look in his eyes that he gets when I'm fucking him through the mattress.

"Oh, yeah. That's…oh, yeah," he murmurs as he licks his lips.

The sound must be off because I can't hear anything from the TV, but judging from the look on his face I'd say it was some really hot porn. I'm surprised he didn't wait for me. He knows I love a good porn flick.

"Whatcha watching, Rodney?" I ask as I step into the room and turn to look at the TV. "Alton Brown!? You're drooling over him?" I can't believe it. He's panting over that stupid Southerner? It's not like he's good looking, what with those stupid geek-glasses, or even blonde. Well, not Sam Carter blonde. "I can't believe you! Sam Carter I can understand. I mean, the woman's hot. But Alton Brown? You could have at least picked someone better looking than me," I huff as I stomp farther into the room so I can give him my best dirty look. If he thinks I'm going to sit here and watch him get off on some deep south food pimp when I'm right here, he has another think coming.

"Not him, you idiot," Rodney snaps back. "The food!" He gives me his very own dirty look, then grins. "Oh, get over yourself, John. We don't get stuff like that back home, ya know. Not only that, but the science involved! The cooks back home could learn a thing or two from him. Look at those power bars. Fruity and sweet, more like candy than anything. Did you know he made a fish smoker from a cardboard box, made beef jerky with furnace filters and a box fan? You think Liz could con him into coming out to Atlantis to teach our chefs?" he says, talking a mile a minute, his eyes shining. Hell he's practically bouncing in place in his enthusiasm.

"The food?" This brings me up short. But given what I know about my Mate I should have known it was the food, and the science, and not the person making it. "Really, Rodney. That's a bit weird. Even for you," I say with an exaggerated eye roll.

"Yeah, but you know you love me," he says as he reaches out with one hand to brush my hip as I walk by.

"Either that or I'm just crazy," I reply as I drop a kiss on the top of his head.

"Come on, love, it's the doughnut episode next. It's funny." Rodney says pulling me down onto the couch next to him before curling into my side.

"Donut this, Rodney," I say as I lean in and kiss him.

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