by
Merri Todd Webster
DISCLAIMER: No one herein mentioned belongs to me; I grovel first before
Chris Carter, 1013, and Fox, then before Paramount.
---
"I brought the wine, Mulder. Hope you like Pinot Noir."
"Great. That'll be great with spaghetti, won't it?"
'sniffs' "Spaghetti? Do I smell cooking, Mulder?"
'proudly' "Yes, you do, Scully. I made us spaghetti."
'Scully staggers into the kitchen, clutching her chest.'
"You made food from scratch? You didn't just order a
pizza?"
'wounded' "I can cook, Scully. It's just too much
trouble most of the time."
"God, even a salad. Agent Mulder, you've outdone yourself."
"Well, I started with a box of spaghetti and a jar of sauce, not raw
tomatoes and dough, but I doctored it up a little. And I know how you like
rabbit food. That balsamic vinegar dressing cost me, though."
'rattle of plates' "Now go sit on the couch, warm up the TV,
open the wine, and I'll bring everything in."
'short interval'
"Wow. Look at all this food."
"Garlic bread?"
"You bet."
'crunch' 'munch' 'slurp'
"This wine is great."
"Thanks."
"Why haven't you turned on the TV?"
"What do you want to watch?"
"It's a Trek night, Scully." 'click' "Don't
want to miss Voyager."
'sigh' "Of all the Trek you could watch, Mulder, that's
got to be the worst."
"What are you talking about?"
"It can't compare with Next Gen. Even the Original Series was
better!"
"Come on, Scully, if you can put up with Shatner overacting in a
toupe, you can put up with Kate Mulgrew pretending she's a cross
between Shatner and Kate Hepburn." 'scowl' "Shit,
it's a rerun."
"Never mind, Mulder. We can watch -- what the hell is
that?"
'grin' "That's Seven of Nine. She's an ex-Borg."
'slurp' "Looks more like 44 of D to me."
'cackling' "Funny you should say that, Scully-- that's
what Frohike and Langley call her."
"I never was flattered that Frohike thinks I'm 'hot'. Now
I'm never going to be."
"Cool your jets, Scully. She's really an interesting character,
once you look past her, um, costume."
'snort' "And you do?"
"Hey, I'm a sensitive, Nineties kind of guy. Don't I look
past your exterior?"
"Every time you get my clothes off, Mulder." 'smirk'
"I haven't heard you complaining, Agent Dr. Scully."
"Yeah, well, women can objectify men, too, Agent Professor
Mulder."
'pout' "Is that what you've been doing, Scully? Am I just
a sexual object to you? Long legs and full lips?"
'sidelong glance' "I thought you knew that already,
Mulder." 'swat!' "Hey, you'll get garlic butter on
my shirt!"
"Oh, look, this is a great scene! Neelix is trying to get her to eat
for the first time."
"I feel really sorry for that guy, forced to dress up like a warthog
to make a living."
"It beats getting abducted, doesn't it?"
'considering frown' "I don't know, Mulder, I really
don't. -- What's that supposed to be?"
"A raven."
"Oh, yeah? Well, somebody should tell them ravens don't have
yellow eyes and don't scream."
"It's television, Scully. You can't expect it to be
realistic. I mean, imagine if they made a TV show about our job.
You think it would be anything like the reality?"
'mock shudder' "Nothing could be like the reality of working
with you, Mulder."
"Thanks a lot, Scully. Just for that, I'll be sure to call out
'Seven' the next time we make love."
"Okay, but don't be surprised if I call out
'Harry'."
"Harry? Like in Ensign Harry Kim, Starfleet's most
clueless?"
"Who cares? Besides, he's not clueless, just youthful--and really
good-looking--"
"--And in love with the pilot, so forget about him."
"The pilot? Who?"
"Tom Paris. The tall light-haired guy--him, right there."
"Oh, come on. Two guys in love?"
"Well, you don't see it onscreen, but it's there in the
subtext."
'snort'
"Come on, Scully, do I act like I'm madly in love with you while
we're on the job?"
'satisfied smile'"Yes, you do, Mulder. Yes, you do."
'grin' "Great, a scene with Harry!"
'deep pout' "I always knew I'd lose you to a good set of
pecs."
'trailing fingers' "Don't sell yourself short, Mulder.
You're no slouch in the pecs department." 'seductive
smile' "And you and Harry have something in common, you
know."
"What's that?"
"Deliciously, lasciviously full lips."
'grin' "You think so? Well, you're no slouch either in
the lips department, Agent Scully."
'slow kiss'
"Or the tongue department--"
"Oops--I'm on the remote--"
"It's a rerun, anyway--"
'click'
---
End
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