(Type a title for your page here)	 Disclaimer: This story is written
for the private entertainment of fans. The author makes no claims on the
characters or their portrayal by the creation of this story. Phil and TJ
McKenzie belong to SL Haas and are used in this story with her permission.
Cat Madden belongs to me. No infringement of any copyrights held by CBS,
Alliance, CTV or any other copyright holders of DUE SOUTH is intended.
This story is not published for profit, and the author does not give
permission for this story to be reproduced for profit.
 
 
 Rated PG for mild swearing and adult situations - m/f - original
character 
 
 Distractions
 
 By Carol Trendall
 
 The soft breeze of a late summer evening drifted through the open window
making it rattle slightly in its runners. Alerted by the sound, Benton
Fraser glanced up from the journal in which he was writing. His eyes
sought out the terracotta pot he had carefully balanced on the sill
earlier that day to take advantage of the sunshine. He stood and moved the
pot to the floor then closed the window. Only when he was satisfied the
tiny lavender cutting was safe, did Ben return to his writing. 
 
 Diefenbaker observed these actions from the other side of the room and
snorted with disgust. He had seen his pack-mate check the lavender cutting
at least ten times in as many minutes. Dief didn't know what was going on,
but he knew it had something to do with the Lavender Woman. The cutting on
the windowsill confirmed it. Something had happened in Canada when they
visited the Cat Woman and his pack-mate had behaved strangely ever since.
Like now. He was sitting there, just staring off into space. Maybe he'd
learned it from the Cat Woman - she stared into space a lot as well. Dief
snorted again and looked away. 
 
 Ben looked over at the wolf and snapped the journal shut. He frowned. "I
do not stare into space all the time, Diefenbaker." He paused, searching
for a plausible explanation. Faintly pleased with himself he answered,
"I'm thinking."
 
 Dief whined in response. His human had been 'thinking' an awful lot in
the week since they had returned to Chicago. 
 
 "I'm sorry if it bothers you, Diefenbaker, but I have a lot to think
about. Now, more than ever, since Cat told me about Phil....and that mine
shaft..." Panic gripped him momentarily, but he shook it off and stood,
carrying his journal over to the chest by the bed. "Plus something about
Cat is bothering me..." He stared at nothing for a moment, "surely even
you would have noticed..." Ben looked over his shoulder at Dief, who had
rested his muzzle on his paws and looked bored. His voice trailed off as
the wolf's eyes closed, "No, I suppose not." 
 
 He shook his head and sat on the edge of the bed, pulling on his boots.
How could he expect a wolf to notice Cat's odd behaviour? Maybe he was
imagining it, anyway. He shook his head again to rid himself of his
thoughts. Ray would arrive soon to take him to dinner, so he didn't really
have time to be thinking about it now anyway. He stopped, closed his eyes
for a moment and allowed himself one final thought before lacing his
boots. Cat seemed distracted during his visit, as if she was thinking
about something else. He was sure of it.
 
 
 Several hundred kilometres to the north, Cat Madden prepared for work.
She'd swapped to the night shift a week earlier, just after Ben returned
to Chicago. While most other people were making their way home, Cat was
just beginning her working day. That suited her. Lately, she was having
trouble sleeping anyway.
 
 Cat buttoned her shirt and bent to retrieve her boots from the floor
where she had tossed them last time she had taken them off. She sat on the
edge of the bed and Sheila stirred momentarily, a little annoyed at being
awakened.
 
 Cat frowned at her. "Well I'm sorry, missy, but it is my bed." 
 
 The petulant feline ignored her and Cat continued to tie her bootlaces.
When she finished, she pulled her hair into a ponytail, cast a final frown
in Sheila's direction then headed down the stairs. 
 
 She paused on the way, stopping in front of the collection of photos that
adorned the wall. Only that morning she had added the picture of Phil, TJ
and Chance and her eyes went straight to it. Involuntarily, Cat's eyes
shifted to a recent photo of Ben. A stab of anxiety struck her as she
looked back and forth between the two pictures.
 
 'Oh, Phil,' she thought to herself, 'I've told Ben about you, but the
worst is still to come. I guess I'll have to a lot more to deal with when
he learns about Lindy.' Thinking about Ben's reaction when he learned of
his dead child made her anxious and uneasy and by the time she left for
work, Cat was more than a little distracted.
 
 
 Phil McKenzie perched on the edge of her sofa and ripped into an envelope
just collected from the mailbox. It was from Cat. It was nearly a month
since she'd left Cat Madden's home in Moose Jaw and this was the first
letter she had received. She was excited by the news it might contain. She
was less excited when she read it. 
 
 Phil's kitten, Chance, distracted her momentarily, running quickly across
the room with a length of wool trailing from his mouth. After a moment she
returned her attention to the letter in her hand. 
 
 It seemed she had missed Ben by a mere three days. The very thought shook
her to the core. If TJ's artefact buying trip had lasted longer she might
have still been at Cat's house when he turned up. Now Ben knew that she
and Cat had met. Phil wasn't sure if she was relieved or disappointed at
having missed him. 
 
 Phil knew Ben would learn about her meeting Cat sooner or later, but now
that it was a reality, it shook her more than she had thought possible
after all these years. She hadn't expected it so soon. She hadn't even
really come to terms with all she learned from Cat, much less entertained
the possibility of meeting Ben again. 
 
 She turned her attention to the letter again, one paragraph in particular
capturing her attention:
 
 ...To say Ben was surprised is an understatement and he damn near wore
out the photos I took of you and the kitten. Don't worry, I didn't tell
him anything. The funny thing is, he told me he'd been thinking about you
a lot lately, even dreaming about you. If that's not a sign, girl, I don't
know what is. Maybe you'd like me to tell you where Ben is? I can hear you
saying no to that question already and it probably won't surprise you when
I tell you that Ben had the same reaction. I asked him if he wanted me to
call you to see if you were ready to talk to him and he looked at me like
I was crazy. I think that Ben, like you, is feeling anxious about meeting
again, but I know in my heart that he does want to see you.
 
 So Ben had been dreaming about her? What could that mean? Phil's mind
wandered off and she didn't notice Chance take a flying leap at the
drapes. 
 
 The shrill sound of the telephone, large in the silence of her living
room, made her jump and she reached for it, whispering a hello into the
receiver as she still stared at the letter.
 
 "Phil? You OK?" TJ's concerned voice came to her, finally forcing Phil to
put the letter down.
 
 "Yes. Yes, sorry, just a little distracted."
 
 
 Ray Vecchio didn't stand on ceremony. At least not when it came to
knocking on Benton Fraser's door. Without pausing in his stride he turned
the door handle and stepped into the room.
 
 "Yo, Fraser! Ready to go?"
 
 Ben looked up rather guiltily at the tall man in front of him. Apparently
he had been staring at his boots for longer than he realised. The sky
outside had grown dark.
 
 "Oh. Yes. Just give me a moment." He tied the final knot and rose to his
feet, looking around the room for his jacket. 
 
 Ray watched him curiously, surprised that Fraser wasn't ready and waiting
by the door. "You OK, Benny?"
 
 "Yes, Ray. I was reading before you came.... I was distracted...." His
voice trailed off when he saw the look of frustration on Ray's face. 
 
 For a brief moment, Ray was worried. The last time he saw Ben like this
Victoria had been involved. But this time it seemed he had been reading
about currency watermarks or mating seasons of rare and endangered species
or one of those other tedious subjects that kept Ben riveted and bored Ray
rigid. Rather than let his relief show, he made a point of appearing
irritated.
 
 "Yeah, yeah whatever. Can we go now? I don't wanna miss the best fritto
misto in Chicago."
 
 
 Unusually quiet during the meal, Fraser spoke only when Ray prompted him.
A plate of fried seafood sat barely touched in front of him. This
disturbed Ray. Fraser normally had a big appetite and this was, in fact,
the best fritto misto in Chicago.
 
 "You don't like it, Benny? I thought the Inuit were big fish eaters?" He
reached across and grabbed a handful of calamari from Ben's plate.
Stuffing it into his mouth, he stared at his friend, waiting for a
response.
 
 "It's delicious, Ray." 
 
 To placate his friend, Ben picked up a piece of garfish and popped it
into his mouth. He chewed it slowly and deliberately, then swallowed twice
before answering Ray's inquiring stare.
 
 "I'm not very hungry. I seem to have rather a lot on my mind."
 
 Ray rolled his eyes dramatically in a 'tell me something I don't know'
sort of action. 
 
 "You've been like this ever since you came home. What happened up there
in Canada?"
 
 Ben pouted and avoided Ray's eyes. "Well, nothing actually happened, Ray.
I learned something..... that is.....Cat......" his voice trailed off as
he struggled to find something he could tell Ray that wouldn't bring Phil
into the conversation.
 
 "Ah yes, Sergeant Madden." Ray's tone made it obvious he didn't care for
the woman. "What did she do to you?" Ben opened his mouth to reply, but
Ray continued, "Jesus, Benny, what is it with you and ball-breaking women?
You like being ordered around?" Ray would never forget his first encounter
with the woman Ben called a friend. It wasn't a pleasant memory.
 
 "Ray, that's unfair. Cat's not bossy, she just knows what she wants."
 
 "Yeah, your balls," Ray snorted then looked away signalling for the
waiter.
 
 "Well actually....." Ben started, a smirk pulling at the corners of his
mouth. He was pleased Ray was looking away and didn't notice his grin. "
Cat stopped wanting those years ago."
 
 Ray pulled his attention away from the waiter and snapped around to face
Ben, eyes wide with surprise.
 
 "What did you say?"
 
 The waiter appeared before Ben could respond and Ray only half paid
attention to the man as he paid the bill. He wondered what would cause the
usually decorous Mountie make such an off colour remark. He must have
heard wrong. He decided to try another tack in the hope that it might give
him some idea about what was going on in his friend's mind.
 
 "So what did the lovely Sergeant Madden do that has you all in a panic?"
Ray's face screwed up, registering his distaste as he said The Sergeant's
name.
 
 Ben studied the print on the tablecloth for a moment before speaking.
"She gave me some information about .......someone.....someone I knew a
long time ago." Ben traced circles on the tablecloth with his finger,
momentarily recalling the panic he felt when he learned Phil had been
taken hostage and then trapped in a mine shaft. "It was quite
distressing." 
 
 "Bad news huh?" Ray sat back in his chair, a look of guilt replacing his
previous snarl.
 
 "Actually, I'm not sure....." Ben mused, looking off into the distance.
 
 Ray saw the range of emotions that flitted across Ben's face and wondered
what Sergeant Madden had told him. He pondered about the hold she seemed
to have on him. What happened in their past? She seemed to have a knack
for hitting Ben below the belt. He had seen her in action when she was in
Chicago. It worried Ray. He hadn't seen Ben this upset and distracted for
a long time. For a moment he thought about Victoria and how wrong Ben had
been about her. Was The Sergeant proving to be a bad influence in Ben's
life also? Was she going to hurt him like Victoria had? 'Over my dead
body' he thought to himself. 
 
 Aloud he said, "Come on Benny, I'll take you home."
 
 
 "TJ, for the hundredth time, I'm OK!" Phil stomped around her kitchen
preparing coffee for her brother.
 
 "But you sounded freaked out when I spoke to you on the phone earlier."
TJ was in full 'big brother' mode.
 
 "I wasn't freaked out, I was just caught off guard. I'm fine now. Here."
Phil thrust a mug of coffee into TJ's hand and pushed past him into the
living room.
 
 "Call it what you like, I'm concerned about you." TJ followed his sister,
talking to her back as she strode around the apartment, briskly
straightening cushions and tidying books.
 
 "I'm a big girl, TJ." Phil punched a large cushion and threw it down on
the sofa.
 
 "But Phil..." 
 
 Phil turned around and faced her brother, a determined expression on her
face. "OK. Yes, it was a shock to find that Ben knows so soon. We missed
him by three days. Three days! Of course it took me by surprise, what do
you expect?"
 
 "So what are you going to do?"
 
 "Nothing. I'm not ready. Maybe I never will be."
 
 "Should I call Cat?" 
 
 Phil's face was suddenly lit by a knowing smirk. "So that's what this is
all about, big brother, an excuse to call Cat?"
 
 TJ blushed before replying, for a moment lost in memories of Cat Madden.
"No, it's not. I just thought she might be able to calm you down a bit,
you know, ease your mind."
 
 Phil grinned at her brother. "I don't think it's anything of mine you're
wanting Cat to ease, TJ." 
 
 TJ stared back at Phil, open-mouthed, as she threw herself onto the sofa
and switched on the TV. "Oh Flip, you're going to be so sorry you said
that." TJ grinned in reply as he leapt on his sister, tickling her
mercilessly. 
 
 Phil laughed heartily and TJ was relieved to hear her laughing freely.
But two weeks later when Phil was still prone to fits of fretful anxiety,
TJ did make a call to Cat Madden.
 
 
 Cat shook off the autumn evening chill as she entered the Depot, wishing
she had worn a long-sleeved shirt. She still wore her summer uniform, as
if by doing so she could hold off the impending cold weather for a while.
As she made her way through the building Cat noticed that most of the
others had opted for long-sleeved shirts. 
 
 Just as she entered her office, Constable Marchand called out to her.
"Sergeant Madden." 
 
 Cat looked towards the cheerful face of the man she had enjoyed working
with for over two years. 
 
 "I have a Dr McKenzie on the line for you."
 
 "Tom McKenzie?" Cat smiled, momentarily recalling his face. "Or Phil
McKenzie?"
 
 "Tom McKenzie, calling from Chicago."
 
 "In my office." She tossed the words over her shoulder as she dashed to
her desk. 
 
 Cat sat down, a shiver of pleasure running through her body as she waited
for the call to be put through. The coldness she had felt a moment earlier
was forgotten. She was surprised by how excited she was about talking to
TJ, but dismissed the thought as she picked up the phone.
 
 "Cat?" 
 
 "TJ! Great to hear from you. How are things down in Chicago?"
 
 "Going well, busy as usual."
 
 "And Phil?" 
 
 TJ coughed nervously. "Actually that's why I'm calling."
 
 "Oh is something wrong?" She leaned forward, frowning.
 
 "Well, ever since Phil got your letter she's been a mess." 
 
 Cat sighed, she had expected a reaction like this but the fact that she
was learning about it from TJ instead of Phil was alarming. TJ filled her
in on Phil's mood swings over the last two weeks. Swings that ranged from
fits of rage to tears of denial that she held any feelings for Ben Fraser.
 
 "You know, Cat, I really thought she had forgotten about Ben a long time
ago, but I think her reaction says otherwise. I've watched her date all
sorts of guys over the years and none of them ever met her standards.
There was someone a while ago, Beth's cousin actually. I thought he was
perfect for Phil. She met him on vacation in Montana. He's a Forest Ranger
and so, naturally, I thought they were well suited. Plus he's a real nice
guy. But the next time I asked her about it, she says it's not going
anywhere. I thought she was just being picky, but it makes sense now. I
have to wonder if she ever stopped loving Ben."
 
 "I've wondered the same thing, TJ. You probably don't want to hear it,
but I don't think Ben and Phil ever lost their feelings for each other.
You might have to learn to live with that."
 
 "Cat, I stopped wanting to kill Ben years ago. Right now, all I want is
for my sister to be happy again. Thanks to you, I know that it's possible
to get another chance and I regret all the years I've let slip by. I don't
want Phil to miss out on her second chance."
 
 "So you want me to talk to her?"
 
 "She listens to you, Cat. She just accuses me of treating her like my kid
sister."
 
 Cat laughed. "And you deny that?"
 
 "Absolutely," TJ laughed in reply.
 
 "I'll call her, TJ."
 
 "There's one more thing...."
 
 "Don't tell her you asked me to call?"
 
 TJ laughed. "I always said you were a wise woman, Cat."
 
 
 "What a nice surprise to hear your voice, Cat." Phil carried the phone to
the sofa, taking the still tiny Chance with her.
 
 "Well, I hadn't heard from you since I wrote you about Ben's visit and I
was a little concerned that I'd freaked you out, so I thought I'd check in
and see how you're doing."
 
 Phil hesitated slightly before she spoke. "Freaked out? No, I'm fine. I
do feel a little guilty that I haven't replied to your letter though." She
stroked the purring kitten and tried to calm herself. She knew about Cat's
intuition and she was trying her hardest to keep her voice even.
 
 "Oh I understand, Phil, you've got a business to run. I know how hard it
is to find the time to do everything you need to." Cat tried another tack.
"So you're OK about Ben knowing that we've met?"
 
 "I barely give it a thought now, Cat." Phil's voice was a little too
cheerful.
 
 "Are you bullshitting me Phil McKenzie?"
 
 "No. No, of course not, Cat." Phil gave a nervous laugh and continued.
"You were right, talking about the past has helped a lot, I feel like I've
dealt with it and let it go. Now I'm just getting on with my life." 
 
 "I'm glad to hear it." Cat knew that Phil wasn't telling her the truth,
but she also knew that Phil wasn't going to tell her what she really felt.
She was sure that bullying her would only make her clam up. Just like Ben.
She would have to wait for Phil to come to her. 
 
 "But you know you can talk to me about anything you need to. I mean, if
you need to talk to someone about Lindy......" Cat didn't know why she
mentioned Lindy. Maybe it was she who needed to talk about Ben and Phil's
daughter.
 
 "She would have been ten this year......" Phil's voice was a soft
whisper.
 
 "I know....."
 
 Neither of them spoke for a moment. The conversation was not meant to
have gone in that direction.
 
 "Thank you, Cat," Phil smiled into the phone and then changed the
subject. 
 
 When the conversation ended Phil hung up the phone and wiped her sweaty
palms on her thighs. She hoped she sounded convincing. 
 
 Cat frowned at the phone and wondered why she thought about Lindy so
much.
 
 
 She almost didn't hear the phone from the garden patch where she was
working. When she did, Cat dashed into the house and snatched it up,
promising that next time she was in town she would buy herself a cordless
model. 
 
 "Hello, Cat, I hope I didn't wake you."
 
 Cat was surprised to hear Ben's voice and was immediately concerned.
"Ben! Is something wrong?" She whipped off her gardening gloves and
gripped the phone tightly.
 
 "No. I thought I would just call to say hello." 
 
 This did nothing to allay Cat's fears, Ben rarely made social calls,
preferring instead to keep her informed of his news in lengthy, eloquent
tomes. "Well, it's nice to hear your voice," Cat started, sure that the
purpose for Ben's call would reveal itself in time. "How are things in
Chicago?"
 
 "Oh, much the same as usual. And you? You're still working the night
shift?"
 
 "Yeah, I think I'll continue through the winter. I can make better use of
the daylight then. In fact, I was just out working in the garden."
 
 "The garden? It's autumn, isn't it a little late for gardening?"
 
 "Oh I was just mulching that bed you planted when you were here last
summer."
 
 "The columbines?" Ben's voice became dreamy and Cat wondered what that
was all about. 
 
 She recalled how he had spent three days preparing the columbine bed.
"Yeah, they've finished flowering and I want to make sure they're
protected over winter. I've got a feeling it's going to be a cold one." 
 
 Ben stopped listening. He remembered the beds of columbines planted
outside Phil's front door. He planted the columbines for Phil last time he
was at Cat's place, but never told her the reason for his choice of that
particular flower.
 
 "You still there, Ben?" 
 
 Eventually Cat's voice got through. "Oh, yes. Yes, I am." He swallowed
and said as nonchalantly as he could, "Are you still in contact with
Phil?"
 
 Cat smiled broadly and leaned against the kitchen wall. There it was. The
reason for Ben's call.
 
 "Yes, in fact I spoke to her only last week. Have you changed your mind
about wanting to contact her?"
 
 "No." It came out a little more forcefully than he intended. "I just
wondered if you continued to correspond."
 
 "Yes, we have." Cat frowned, if Ben didn't want to contact Phil why was
he asking about her?
 
 "I....I still dream about her.....sometimes...." Ben's voice took on a
soft, dreamy quality.
 
 "Does that bother you?" Cat shut her eyes, forgetting about the reasons
for Ben's call. She dreamed about Phil too, but her dreams weren't like
Ben's. Her dreams were always about Phil walking into Lindy's room and
finding her daughter still and silent and Ben not being there to help her
deal with it.
 
 "No, it doesn't bother me anymore. I've let it all go now and I'm getting
on with my life."
 
 Cat knew he was lying by the tone of his voice. She shook her head,
surprised that Ben still thought he could hide his feelings from her. "But
if you change your mind, I'm still happy to call Phil for you."
 
 "Thank you, Cat, but my dealings with Phil McKenzie are done. There is
nothing to connect us anymore."
 
 'Oh Ben, that's where you are so wrong' Cat thought to herself, once
again seeing Lindy's clear blue eyes. Instead she said, "I understand,"
and changed the subject. Phil was not mentioned again during the phone
call. 
 
 
 "Oh, man, will you look at this traffic!" Ray shook his head and looked
at his friend.
 
 "Well, it is autumn, Ray." Ben's reply was matter-of-fact, like it was an
explanation in itself.
 
 Ray rolled his eyes and looked to the heavens, as if for support. "You
think I'd understand your Canada-speak by now......." He stopped talking
as the traffic began to move slowly.
 
 "It's simple, Ray, the weather is turning cold and people prefer to
travel in the comfort of their own vehicle than travel on foot or by bus."
 
 "This many?" Ray gestured at the traffic around them. "Jesus, Fraser, I
just can't figure out what goes on in that mind of yours sometimes."
 
 "Ray, Ray, Ray," Ben looked at Ray, ignoring his friend's jibe. "In the
last few weeks I've been observing the increase in traffic as the
temperature has decreased. It's simple."
 
 The taillights of the car in front glowed red and Ray brought the Riv to
a sudden halt. 
 
 "Shit!" Ray began tapping impatiently on the steering wheel, waiting for
the traffic to move again. 
 
 Ben was aware that Ray was not in the slightest bit interested in the
reasons for the traffic, so he stopped speaking and turned away from his
friend. A sudden motion in the vehicle next to them caught his eye and he
turned his head further to see what it was. A woman slid along the back
seat of a taxi, making room for her companion. She leaned forward to give
instruction to the driver and for a moment Ben saw her face. 
 
 Phil? At least he thought it was, it was hard to tell. She wore a dark
green overcoat pulled up to her ears and a black beret that covered her
hair. Ben watched transfixed and the world seemed to grind to a halt. It
was in seeming slow motion that the woman threw back her head and laughed
heartily. Although two pieces of glass separated them, Ben heard her laugh
as clearly as if she was sitting next to him. He heard Phil laugh. 
 
 Was it Phil? The woman turned to her companion and leaned into him,
kissing his cheek and smiling up at him. The man smiled back and laughed.
Had she said something to make him laugh? Were they lovers? They looked
happy. Ben felt a stab of jealousy. Was he the only unhappy person in the
world? He shivered involuntarily, feeling the bone deep coldness that
accompanied the loneliness that had become part of him. 
 
 The traffic started to move again and the Riv inched forward, ahead of
the taxi. The woman pulled off her beret and ran her fingers through her
cropped locks, allowing Ben to glimpse her face again. As if drawn by
Ben's gaze, the woman turned to look at him just as the Riv moved forward,
faster than before. Ben turned in his seat, looking over his shoulder,
hoping to get a final glimpse, but he could see her no more. 
 
 "What are you doing, Fraser?" 
 
 Ray's voice made him jump. "Oh, nothing, I just thought...." He faced
forward again, his voice trailing off. Was it Phil? 
 
 "You see someone jaywalkin' back there and you wanna get out and arrest
them? Cos, if you do, you'll have to wait. Now that the traffic's finally
moving again, I ain't stopping."
 
 Ben didn't answer. Ray didn't expect him to. Ben closed his eyes and
thought about the woman he had just seen. Was it Phil? His mind was filled
with memories of her crooked smile, her hair that always smelled of
lavender, her body pressed against his, the way he felt when he was with
her. He shook the thought away. It couldn't be Phil. After all, what would
she be doing in Chicago? Besides, Cat had told him Phil wasn't involved
with anyone and the woman he had just seen was kissing a man, someone she
obviously knew well. Maybe Cat hadn't told him the truth? Maybe Phil had
fallen in love with this man recently and Cat didn't know? Maybe Phil was
visiting her brother Rob? Maybe he'd call the hospital and ask Rob if Phil
had visited lately? No, that would do no good. No way would Rob tell him
anything. Maybe it wasn't Phil at all? 
 
 
 Phil McKenzie bounced out of the building and onto the street, followed
by her friend and colleague, Jeff Bowers. They grinned and then hugged
each other. 
 
 "We did it, Jeff!" Phil shouted.
 
 "Let's go celebrate!"
 
 "Great idea. We need a taxi." Phil pulled a black beret onto her head and
buttoned her new dark green overcoat to ward off the evening chill while
Jeff stepped off the sidewalk and hailed a taxi. When it pulled up beside
her, Phil stepped in and gave the driver their destination.
 
 "It's your lucky green coat that did it, Phil," Jeff joked as he slid in
beside her. "I bet you're glad you bought it now." 
 
 Phil threw back her head and laughed heartily, she hadn't felt this happy
in a long time. The last time she had felt this sort of abandon was the
day Ben asked her to marry him. She remembered calling her brothers and
shouting into the phone. Phil shook the thought away. Why was she thinking
about that now? She placed a hand on Jeff's arm and leaned against him,
planting a kiss on his cheek. 
 
 "No, my friend, it's all because of you. You came up with the idea and
now we've signed a three-year contract. Maybe I'll give you that raise you
keeping hinting about." 
 
 Jeff smiled and then they both started laughing hysterically like a
couple of kids. What had started as a suggestion over late night hot
chocolates six months earlier had just turned into a lucrative business
venture. Phil and Jeff had developed a 'team-building' package for large
corporations. Phil knew that rafting the Grand Canyon required team work
and it was Jeff's idea that they could market this to large companies as a
way of instilling the notion of teamwork in their employees. Together they
designed the package and finally six months of unpaid research work had
paid off. They had just signed a three-year deal with the largest law firm
in Chicago. 
 
 "We gotta hire Mark....."
 
 "And more boats...." 
 
 The two friends laughed harder and Phil tore the beret from her head,
running her fingers through her short hair. Phil shuddered and a tingle
ran up and down her spine. She had the feeling that someone was watching
her. Turning slightly, she caught sight of a man in the car next to them.
She stopped, her beret still clutched in one hand. 
 
 Ben? At least she thought it was, it was hard to tell. He wore a leather
jacket with a turned up collar that hid the lower part of his face as he
shifted to look at her. The car in which he was travelling moved forward
and she saw him twist in his seat. Then the car sped away from them and
she could see him no more. Was it Ben?
 
 "Phil?" Jeff's voice made her jump.
 
 "Sorry, Jeff.....I...... I thought........What were you saying?"
 
 "I said how about we celebrate with champagne?"
 
 "Sounds great." 
 
 Phil leaned back against the seat, letting Jeff's voice wash over her. He
talked excitedly about what this new deal would mean and what they would
need. Phil closed her eyes and thought about the man in the car. Was it
Ben? No, it couldn't possibly be. What would he be doing in Chicago
anyway? Cat had offered to tell her where Ben was. Maybe she should call
Cat and ask her if he was in Chicago, just to satisfy her curiosity? Maybe
it wasn't even Ben? Should she call Cat anyway?
 
 
 "I was so sure it was her, Cat." Ben insisted. He was at the point of
desperation. Cat was the only one he could speak to about Phil. He had
vowed never to talk to Ray about Phil and he certainly couldn't talk to
Becka, his sister had enough of her own troubles.
 
 Cat sighed and cradled the phone against her shoulder as she continued
her duties. It was a busy night, but she was concerned about her friend.
The mere fact that Ben called her at work made her realise how distressed
he must be. He did not believe in personal calls during work hours. In
addition, he was calling from a payphone, not from Mr Mustafi's apartment,
as he had on the rare occasions he had telephoned her in the past. 
 
 "Oh, Ben, we've talked about this before. If you let me ask Phil if she's
ready to see you, that might just answer your question." 
 
 Ben was speaking before Cat even finished her sentence. "No, no. That's
not what I want." There were so many reasons he didn't want to take that
step.
 
 "Well then, what do you want me to do?" As soon as the words fell from
her lips Cat regretted them. She knew that Ben didn't know what he wanted,
but she was running out of things to tell him. He wasn't listening to her
anyway, he was caught up in his own thoughts.
 
 "Do you think I'm imagining it, Cat?" 
 
 "I don't know." 
 
 That was all she could tell him. Cat knew how close Phil lived to the
Consulate. 
 
 
 "You must think I'm crazy, Cat," Phil talked in a rush, feeling
embarrassed for making the call in the first place. "I wanted to call you
last night, but Jeff and I were out celebrating and I thought maybe by
this morning I would have forgotten about it. But when I woke up, Ben was
the first thing I thought about." Phil took a long, deep breath to compose
herself. "I'm sorry, Cat, I really am. I shouldn't have called. It's
silly, I know, but I was so sure it was him."
 
 Cat paced around her kitchen with the phone cradled against her shoulder.
"Oh, Phil, if only you would let me tell you where Ben is. I think it
would solve all your problems." 'and Ben's' she added silently.
 
 "No. No. I'm not ready for that." 
 
 There was a note of panic in Phil's voice that Cat did not miss.
 
 "OK, I understand." Absently Cat stroked Sheila, who had jumped onto the
kitchen bench to demand her attention.
 
 "Do you think I'm going crazy, Cat?"
 
 "No, of course I don't." 
 
 But Cat was beginning to feel like she was.
 
 
 Phil was running late again, as she always seemed to be these days. Ever
since BakTrak signed its three-year contract with Chicago's biggest law
firm, there was never enough time in the day. To make things worse, lunch
with TJ had lasted much longer than she had time for. But she hadn't seen
him for two weeks and she had been reluctant to leave. 
 
 Phil pulled her overcoat onto her shoulders, once again pleased that she
had invested the money in the green woollen garment she thought to be an
extravagance when she first purchased it. She pulled her beret onto her
head and stepped out onto the snow-covered steps of the Field Museum. 
 
 A flash of green on the opposite side of the road caught her eye. Green
was her favourite colour and she often found her eyes drawn to anything of
that hue. She stopped and looked. It was a shiny green car. One that
looked vaguely familiar for a reason she couldn't fathom. 
 
 She continued down the steps as the occupants of the car got out. One was
a tall, thin man in a long dark grey overcoat, who jammed a woollen cap
onto his head and waved his hands in the air. It looked like he was
arguing with the other man, equally tall, dressed in jeans and a plaid
lumberjacket. Something about the second man's gait was familiar. She
stopped suddenly, a lump rising in her throat. She stood rooted to the
spot, watching as the second man raised a Stetson in the air and placed it
purposefully on his head. 
 
 Ben? He turned to face her and as soon as their eyes met, Phil was
startled out of her torpor. Was it Ben? It couldn't be. Hastily she turned
away and dashed down the street, away from the Museum. She didn't look
back, but she knew his eyes were on her. Was it Ben? Phil didn't slow her
pace until she was two blocks away. She rested a steadying hand on the top
of a nearby mailbox and thought about the man she had just run from.
Everything about him seemed so familiar. Could it be Ben? A shiver ran
through her body. Why did it terrify her so? After all, she was over him. 
 
 She checked her watch, she only had ten minutes to get to her meeting at
the bank. Phil took a deep, steadying breath and started to walk again.
Was it Ben? She pushed the thought from her mind, she had to concentrate
for her meeting. There was no way it was him, anyway.
 
 
 "Benny, I really don't wanna go. You know what happened last time I went
to a museum with you," Ray said as he manoeuvred the Riv into a parking
spot across the road from the Field Museum. 
 
 Ben rolled his eyes at his friend. "Ray, that was an exceptional case.
This exhibit is quite different. Cat told me about this display. The
collection was purchased recently by the Curator of Native Artefacts and
returned to the Cree Nation. By way of thanks, the very grateful tribal
elders have loaned it to the Museum for a short time. I assure you there
will be no theft this time. Cat thought that we..... that I..... might
enjoy seeing it."
 
 "Do you do everything she tells you?" Ray opened the car door and got
out. 
 
 Ben hesitated for a moment, slightly irritated by this, another slight
against his oldest friend. He climbed out of the car and turned to Ray. 
 
 "Ray, that's unfair. Cat didn't tell me to do anything. I just
thought....."
 
 "Yeah, yeah, whatever. Come on, Benny, let's just go see the goddamn
stuff." Ray jammed a woollen cap onto his head and walked around the car
to Ben's side, then crossed the road. 
 
 Ben placed his Stetson purposefully on his head and headed across the
street towards the Field Museum. A movement in front of the Museum caught
his eye and he turned in time to see a woman looking straight at him, her
dark green overcoat strongly contrasted against the gleaming snow covering
the steps on which she stood. Ben's heart stopped. Phil? As soon as his
eyes met hers the woman turned in a flurry of green wool and was gone. Was
it Phil?
 
 "Yo, Fraser! You're standing in the middle of the street," Ray called out
to him from the safety of the sidewalk. Ben jumped and then rushed to
Ray's side. "Something wrong, Benny?"
 
 "No, I just saw.... that is.......I thought I saw someone I used to
know."
 
 "The last time you said that to me, man, I had to shoot you." Ray slapped
Ben's shoulder, his mock joviality masking his concern. 
 
 Ben smiled to reassure his friend. "Let's go inside, Ray." 
 
 The two friends walked up the steps together, with Ray chatting on
mindlessly. He was a bit nervous about Ben's strange behaviour lately and
he still wasn't convinced that Ben had gotten Victoria out of his system.
Although he would never admit it to anyone, a small part of him was
expecting the evil woman to return one day. 
 
 "I could have frozen solid waiting while you got hit by a bus."
 
 "Now, Ray, that's just not possible, it simply isn't cold enough."
 
 "It's winter, Fraser."
 
 "Yes, but the temperature would need to take a sudden, very drastic drop
for you to freeze in the ten seconds you were standing on the sidewalk." 
 
 Ray smiled and slapped Ben's shoulder again, relieved, for once, to hear
his friend's pedantry.
 
 "Now I know you're OK, Benny." 
 
 Ben smiled enigmatically as they entered the museum. He couldn't help
casting a final look over his shoulder in the direction the woman in green
had gone. Was it Phil? No, it couldn't possibly be.
 
 
 "I'm going to do it, Chance," Phil said to the chubby young cat that
Bella's kitten had become. "Oh no young man, don't look at me like that, I
said I'm going to do it and this time I mean it." She picked up the cat,
gave him a final hug, then opened the closet and pulled out her green
overcoat. It had become a favourite, almost a talisman, and she wore it to
protect her from what she was about to do.
 
 Once on the street, Phil strode confidently in the direction of the
Canadian Consulate. Normally when she had an errand that would take her
past the Consulate, Phil would take a detour, adding an extra block to her
journey. She'd been doing this ever since she moved to Chicago for fear
that she would be reminded of Ben, or more recently, run into him. The few
times she thought she had seen Ben were unnerving and she wanted to know
for sure whether or not it was him. 
 
 The last time she spoke to Cat about it, Cat had suggested that the next
time she saw someone she thought was Ben she should approach him, rather
than run away. Then she would have her answer. Well, Phil was going to go
one better. She was going looking for him.
 
 Phil made a left turn onto Stetson and immediately saw the Mountie
dressed in red serge, contrasting sharply with the snow as he stood sentry
outside the Consulate. Her pace slowed as she neared the building. The
Mountie was the right height, but it was difficult to tell at this
distance. After all, she hadn't seen him for ten years.
 
 She walked on and then stopped, fear suddenly gripping her. Taking a
deep, calming breath she started to walk again, finally coming to a halt
in front of the scarlet clad man. "I can do it," she said out loud, then
turned to face the man with her eyes closed. "One, two, three..." she
counted, then opened her eyes. 
 
 Phil looked up at the face of the handsome man in front of her and
started to laugh. She was still laughing as she stumbled her way down the
street, away from the Consulate. She didn't notice the green Buick Riviera
that passed her and pulled up immediately in front of the building.
 
 
 "Inspector Thatcher, I assure you it was quite unnerving," Constable
Turnbull insisted to the trio gathered in front of him.
 
 Inspector Meg Thatcher threw a blazing glare at Ben and Ray, warning them
not to speak. She smiled intolerantly at Turnbull. "I'm sure it was,
Constable, but I don't think this means that Canada's national security is
being threatened. Now, I order you to compose yourself and return
immediately to your post." With that she turned and marched into her
office.
 
 The younger man looked stricken. "Constable Fraser, Detective Vecchio,
surely you believe me?"
 
 Ray snorted. "Sure thing, man, I get the urge to laugh every time I see
you."
 
 Ben frowned at his friend then turned to the younger Constable.
"Constable Turnbull, I'm sure we are perfectly safe. I myself have been
the victim of taunts at the hands of, shall we say, feeble-minded members
of the public. I assure you, you will come to no harm by being laughed
at." 
 
 "Way to go, Benny," Ray said in a sarcastic tone.
 
 
 Constable Marchand stared at Sergeant Madden in the dim light of their
patrol vehicle. Neither of them really wanted to be there. Cat didn't tell
Marchand about the vibrations she was picking up and for once she wished
there were some way she could turn her senses down.
 
 "Marchand, it's times like this that being a Mountie really sucks," she
said as took her service revolver from its holster and clicked off the
safety. 
 
 The call had come in fifteen minutes earlier. It was anonymous, as these
sorts of calls always were. The informant had told them she had heard a
series of gunshots and screams coming from the cottage they were now
parked outside. The home of the Beaudoin family.
 
 "You OK?" Cat asked Marchand, aware that he had never attended this sort
of call before. 
 
 Constable Marchand nodded and together they got out of the car and made
their way to the front door. 
 
 When they were in position on either side of the door, Cat knocked
loudly, calling out as she did, "RCMP. Open up." 
 
 There was no reply. She looked over her shoulder at Marchand and then
back at the door. They both listened for a moment and Cat felt the hairs
on the back of her neck stand up. She didn't like the feeling she was
getting at all. She reached for the handle and wasn't surprised when the
door opened freely. She stepped into the hall, her revolver in front of
her. 
 
 "Sergeant Madden, Royal Canadian Mounted Police. Who's here?" 
 
 There was still no reply. Cat felt light-headed from all the messages she
felt buzzing around the house. She didn't like it. Cat rounded the kitchen
doorway, her gun held out in front of her. Suddenly, she knew why she
didn't like the signal she was getting. 
 
 On the floor in front of her a woman lay dead in a pool of her own blood.
The gaping hole in her chest told Cat that she had been shot at close
range by a large calibre weapon. 
 
 "Oh Jesus," she whispered, diverting her eyes from the scene. 
 
 Behind her she heard Marchand pull back into the hallway and speak into
his radio, requesting an ambulance. 
 
 Cat fought the urge to be sick and stepped back into the hallway,
indicating to Marchand that she would search the rest of the house.
Marchand nodded and followed her. They found nothing in the living room,
so they continued down the hall, each checking a room as they went. 
 
 Cat flicked on the light of a room she guessed to be a bedroom. The sight
that met her eyes was even more grisly than that which she had seen in the
kitchen. The remains of a man lay on the floor, a large bore rifle near
his body. The contents of his skull was splattered on the wall opposite. 
 
 "Jesus Christ....," she murmured, then fell back into the hallway.
Leaning her weight against the wall she sucked in deep calming breaths.
This was far worse than she had imagined. 
 
 "Sergeant!" 
 
 Marchand called her from another part of the house. His voice was shrill
and Cat tracked it to the bathroom, not sure she wanted to see what he had
found. 
 
 When she reached her Constable, Cat sucked in a breath at the sight that
met her eyes. Marchand had found a young baby, only a few months old,
floating face down in a bath full of water. He pulled the child out of the
water and checked the vital signs. The child, dressed in a scarlet jump
suit, was close to death. 
 
 Something about the sight of Marchand holding the child sent Cat into a
spin. 
 
 "Where's that fucking ambulance!" she screamed. "Call them! Now!" 
 
 Cat reached for the infant. Marchand made another, more urgent call to
the hospital, while Cat administered mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. It
wasn't until much later, when the ambulances had sped off to the hospital,
that Cat realised what had upset her so much. 
 
 
 Cat and Marchand sat at opposite sides of her desk, trying to put into
words what they had just experienced. She knew Marchand was distressed,
but she was unable to give him any comfort, she felt too numb. She just
wanted to get the paperwork done and go home. She looked up at her young
Constable, trying not to remember how he had looked holding the baby.
Marchand was pale and nervous and had barely spoken since they returned to
the Depot. 
 
 Reaching out and touching his hand she said, "Marchand, go home. I'll
take care of the paperwork."
 
 "I can't do that, Sir," he stated. 
 
 Cat's heart ached. Never had he seemed more like Ben Fraser than at that
moment. "It's not a request," Cat sat back in her chair and tried to look
stern. "It's an order."
 
 She waited until he had left the building and then Cat laid her head on
her desk and cried.
 
 
 She should have known that Marchand would go to the hospital to check on
the child. Cat watched as he stood in front of the nursery window, leaning
his forehead against the glass. She closed her eyes and remembered him
kneeling on the tile floor of the bathroom, holding the dying baby against
him. A tightness gripped her chest, almost making her cry out loud. In her
mind she saw Ben holding the child he had never known. At that moment Cat
knew some of the despair that Phil must have felt and she couldn't hold
back her tears. She opened her eyes and turned to leave before Marchand
saw her, but it was too late.
 
 "Sergeant?" his voice, although a whisper, sounded huge in the silent
hospital. "The nurse said she's stabilising now." Marchand ran his hand
through his hair as he approached her. "They don't think there will be any
brain damage." He frowned at Cat, "Sergeant, are you OK?"
 
 Cat wiped at her eyes and wandered over to the window where Marchand had
stood a moment earlier. "I have a friend who lost a daughter." There were
several babies in the nursery and Cat's eyes went instinctively to the
right crib. "Her name was Lindy and she wasn't much older than this little
one."
 
 "Nicola." 
 
 "What's that?" She turned to look at Marchand.
 
 "That's her name, Sir. Nicola."
 
 "Lindy wasn't much older than Nicola ..... it's not fair Marchand. Here's
a child who no longer has parents and Lindy was taken away
before.....before......." Cat stopped. She wanted to say that Lindy was
taken away before her father even knew she had been born. "I think I'd
better get going, it's late..."
 
 Marchand smiled gently. "I'm going to stay a little while longer, Sir."
 
 They said their goodbyes and Cat went home. It was a long time before she
could sleep. The image of Marchand holding Nicola had burned itself into
her eyes. Or was it Ben holding Lindy?
 
 
 Cat awoke the next morning nervous and restless. She hadn't slept much
and her eyes burned. For a moment she considered calling Becka, but
thought better of it. Becka had enough of her own worries. She wanted to
speak to Ben, but she knew he didn't like taking personal calls at the
Consulate so she fought the urge and took a long, very hot shower instead.

 
 Cat pulled on a comfortable pair of sweats and made her way down to the
kitchen, with all the cats in tow. She made herself a pot of tea and put
together a tray of things to eat, then took it all into the living room
where she laid a fire and sat down on the sofa. Sheila, Bella and Bella's
still unnamed offspring knew she needed their comfort and they fitted
themselves around her body, all purring gently. 
 
 She thought about the baby, Nicola, she thought about Phil and she
thought about Ben. The sadness that filled her was so intense that Cat
began to wonder if she was losing her mind. Sheila stood on her lap and
nudged Cat's chin with the top of her head and she burst into tears. She
knew that the pain she felt at that moment was only a fraction of the
anguish Phil must have felt when she lost her daughter. A great surge of
emotion made Cat leap out of her chair and pace the room. It was suddenly
very important to her that Ben had to know about Lindy. She couldn't tell
him, of course, so that meant getting him and Phil together. She had to
find a way to make it happen.
 
 
 
 There were very few people in the park as Ben and Diefenbaker took their
evening run. The snow crunched pleasantly underfoot as the odd pair made
their way along the lake. By the time they reached the end of the path,
Ben was flushed with satisfaction and Dief was wondering when they could
go home. 
 
 Ben swung his leg up onto the back of a bench to stretch out his
hamstring while Dief watched him with frustrated eyes. A tall man with
green hospital scrubs poking out from under his sweats ran by and nodded
at Ben in greeting. He, like Ben, was a regular on this route and their
paths often crossed.
 
 *Whine* Dief looked up at his human with pleading eyes.
 
 "I'm nearly done, Diefenbaker. We'll be going home as soon as I've
finished my stretches." He shook his head at the animal. "Sometimes it's
hard to believe you're an Arctic Wolf."
 
 *Whine*
 
 "Yes, you are getting soft." Ben stated firmly. Another runner passed by
and threw them a wave. "You see, Diefenbaker, lots of people enjoy running
in the winter." He gestured in the direction the runners had come from and
then turned his head to see if any others were coming along the path to
further prove his point. 
 
 Not too far away he could make out the figure of a woman. It didn't
appear to be one of the regular evening joggers and Ben stood at the edge
of the track, ready to greet her as she came past. 
 
 Dressed in grey sweats with a headband covering her ears, the woman kept
her eyes focused on the ground in front of her as she ran. She did not
look at Ben and Dief, instead she gave them a wide berth as she passed.
Ben caught a glimpse of her face and froze on the spot. It was Phil. 
 
 The last time he had mentioned to Cat that he thought he had seen Phil
she had told him that if it happened again, he should approach the woman
rather than run away. What should he do? His feet were moving before his
mind had a chance to catch up. 
 
 Dief yelped at him in surprise. He thought they were going home soon.
With a snort of disgust, he started after them.
 
 "Hello!" Ben called after the woman, but she seemed not to hear him. He
picked up his pace and lessened the distance between them. 
 
 "Excuse me!" he called, louder this time. Again, the woman seemed not to
hear him. He took a deep breath and, using the last of his energy, surged
forward at a great pace. 
 
 "Phil!" he called in a desperate voice as he closed the distance between
them. The woman, alerted by his presence, turned around just as he grabbed
at her arm. Somehow their feet tangled and they fell in a heap on the
snow.
 
 "What do you think you're doing?" the woman screamed, struggling to stand
up and get away from him. 
 
 Ben panted so hard he was unable to speak. The fall had knocked the
breath out of his body. "I'm ....... sorry......" he managed to stutter as
he got to his feet and faced the woman.
 
 "What do you want?" she snapped at him, in a voice tinged with a French
accent. It wasn't Phil.
 
 "I'm......sorry......I thought.......you were.....someone else........"
he gasped.
 
 "You bastard!" she yelled, as she raised her hand and slapped his face.
She turned and sped away, leaving Ben holding his hand against his
stinging cheek.
 
 *Whine*
 
 Ben frowned at the wolf. "Well if you knew it wasn't Phil, why didn't you
tell me?"
 
 
 
 At 6am Cat was wide-awake and staring at the ceiling. The heavy drapes
pulled across the floor to ceiling window in her bedroom blocked the light
efficiently, but it wasn't the light that woke her. She'd been dreaming
again. Her dream tugged at her, like the aftertaste of something bitter.
Fragments of the dream drifted into her mind, but when she tried to
capture them, they disappeared. The dream was the same one she'd had ever
since the night Constable Marchand saved the Beaudoin baby from death two
weeks earlier. 
 
 At 10am Cat was in her kitchen making her third batch of cookies and
inventing a new cake recipe based on dried apricots, figs and dates. This
was the only way she could stay focused, plus, she knew the cakes and
cookies would be welcome at the Depot that night. The dream that had
forced her from her bed after only five hours sleep still lurked in the
back of her mind. She had long since stopped trying to remember what it
was about and, instead, occupied herself with baking. 
 
 There seemed to be something else, though, and Cat tried to zone in on
that instead. It felt as though she was on the edge of something, but she
didn't know what. Her sixth sense had always worked well, but it seemed
dull lately, like she couldn't get it into focus. She shook her head in
frustration and returned her concentration to her baking. Try as she might
though, nothing could distract her from the feeling that something was
about to happen. As she had done many times recently, Cat began to wonder
if she had gone crazy and no one had told her.
 
 Some time later, as she slipped the last concoction into the oven, Cat
heard the sound of a truck in her drive. She checked her watch and
realised it was the delivery of firewood she had ordered. By the time she
wiped the cake batter from her hands, a knock sounded at the door. 
 
 When Cat opened the door a tall, barrel chested man with a grey-streaked
braid that fell to his waist smiled at her broadly.
 
 "Hi, Cathy." His deep voice held a trace of the Cree he had spoken since
childhood.
 
 "Jimmy Sunsinger! What the hell are you doing delivering my firewood? I
thought you owned the company," Cat joked as she reached up and hugged the
large man. 
 
 Five years earlier, Cat had run into Jimmy and his wife Sara in the
supermarket and they told her how they raised enough cash to buy the
lumber-yard where Jimmy had worked since he was 17. 
 
 Jimmy smiled at the joke and rolled his eyes. "Delivery boy called in
sick and when I saw your name on the list, what else could I do?"
 
 "Well, let me get my jacket and I'll help you stack it." Cat turned and
reached for her parka.
 
 "Hell no, girl, look what happened last time you helped me stack
firewood." They laughed together at Jimmy's reminder of the first time
they met, twenty years earlier, and together they went outside to unload
and stack the firewood.
 
 Twenty minutes later, when they were finished, Cat invited Jimmy into her
house with the promise of a cup of coffee and a slice of freshly baked
cake. She brought it to him as he warmed himself in front of the fire.
 
 "I can't believe you kept it." Jimmy smiled, pointing to a skin drum
mounted on the wall above the fireplace.
 
 "Of course I kept it, it's one of my favourite things." 
 
 Jimmy had made the drum for Cat's 17th birthday. His grandfather
encouraged him to make it for her, saying she needed to know Cree culture.
Jimmy smiled at her again and turned back to the mantel, his hands
flitting over Cat's collection of Native artefacts. His hand came to rest
on the carved image of Pinga that Ben had given her.
 
 "Ben gave me that last Christmas," Cat said to his back.
 
 "It's very beautiful." Jimmy turned to face her again, "What my
grandfather said all those years ago is right, Cathy. You have a red
heart." 
 
 Cat smiled at the compliment. "Maybe I do." 
 
 Jimmy held her gaze until the mood slipped away and then he sat down
opposite her. They chatted for a while and exchanged stories about friends
and family and after two cups of coffee and two slices of cake, Jimmy
stood to leave. 
 
 Cat raced into the kitchen and hastily wrapped one of her freshly made
cakes. "Take this home to Sara." Jimmy and Sara had five children and she
knew the cake wouldn't last long in their household.
 
 "Thanks, Cathy, next time you're out our way, make sure you stop by for a
cup of coffee."
 
 "I'll do that. Give my love to the family."
 
 "I will." Jimmy headed towards the door and as he pulled on his parka he
said, "Oh, by the way, Tess has her first date on Saturday night. She's
going out with Ed Sanders' boy, so check those late night parking spots
for me, hey, Cathy?"
 
 "Tess isn't old enough to be going out on a date." Cat stared at her
friend. Jimmy's eldest daughter was too young to be dating. She remembered
visiting Sara in hospital when Tess was born.
 
 "She's 15, Cathy," Jimmy replied, a smile pulling at his lips.
 
 "Oh, wow....." 
 
 Jimmy chuckled and headed out the door and towards his truck, speaking as
he went, "Time is passing Cathy." For a moment his voice was serious but
when he turned to face Cat he had a smile on his face. "Isn't it time you
got yourself a husband?" He had asked her that for at least ten years.
They both laughed and Jimmy got into his truck and backed out of Cat's
drive. 
 
 She waved as he left and then went back inside, still shaking her head
incredulously. Jimmy's daughter was only slightly younger than Cat was
when she seduced Jimmy in the back of his pick-up truck nearly twenty
years earlier and gave him the gift of her virginity. At that moment she
felt more alone than she ever had in her life.
 
 
 "Marchand! In my office!" Cat's voice carried across the small room. 
 
 Constable Marchand tripped over his own feet in the haste to do as he was
bid. Cat waited, her hands on her hips, her irritation clear. 
 
 "Sir?" he asked in a tentative voice. He'd never heard his Sergeant angry
before.
 
 "What time did you start today, Constable?"
 
 "O seven hundred, Sir."
 
 "And what time is it now?" 
 
 He checked his watch, looking confused. "Seventeen thirty, Sir."
 
 "Well, why are you still here?" Marchand started to speak, but Cat hadn't
finished. "I've just read yet another memo from Regina about our excess
overtime. You know there is no unauthorised overtime. Did I authorise your
overtime?"
 
 "No Sir, but...."
 
 "I don't want to hear it, Marchand. Go home."
 
 "Sir, if you'd just check the log....." 
 
 Cat stopped, a chill running through her slender body. She hadn't checked
the log when she came on duty. Wordlessly, she turned and removed it from
the filing cabinet, read the day's entry, shut it and returned the book to
its place, a feeling of dread seeping into her heart. It seemed Constable
Duncan called in sick for the night shift and the dayshift Sergeant asked
Marchand to cover for him. 
 
 "I see." Cat turned back to Marchand. "Sergeant Owen asked you to do a
double shift, but he didn't clear it with me. I think Dixon and I can
adequately cover this shift, so you can go home."
 
 Marchand hesitated. "Yes, Sir," he said softly and slunk out of her
office. 
 
 Cat went to her desk and sat with her head in her hands. She did not look
up until Marchand left the building. 'Why did I treat Marchand like that?'
she wondered, feeling sick to the stomach. She knew the answer to her own
question. The restlessness that had been with her since her dream forced
her out of bed that morning would not leave her and she had let it turn
into irritation. 
 
 'There's more to it that that' Cat told herself. Was it the visit from
Jimmy Sunsinger? She was shocked to realise that his first-born child was
dating age and that realisation made her aware of her own mortality. 'I'm
only 36,' she reminded herself. Pushing the heels of her hands into her
eyes she tried hard to convince herself she suffered only from lack of
sleep, but in her heart she knew there was more to it. She had to admit
that this anxiety had been with her since the night of the Beaudoin
incident. But now, as she thought about it, she realised it had been
growing since before that. When had it started? When she met Phil? When
Phil told her about Lindy? When Ben was shot? Or was it much earlier than
that? 
 
 Did it start the night, twelve years ago, when Ben came to her in Aklavik
and told her that he had left Phil for Victoria? She didn't know. She felt
like she didn't know anything anymore.
 
 Cat wasn't sure how long she sat unmoving. She probably would have stayed
that way if Constable Dixon had not appeared in her doorway.
 
 "Sergeant, there's an accident out on Lakeshore Drive. Highway patrol's
caught up at a fatal on the highway, we're the only unit available." 
 
 Cat looked up at the man, checked her watch and then with the detachment
familiar to police officers the world over, readied herself to head out
into the winter night.
 
 The ambulance arrived on the scene only a minute before Cat and Constable
Dixon. They saw it fly past as they left the Depot. A Ford pick-up had
plowed into the side of an old Land Rover that looked very familiar. The
medics were already working inside both vehicles. Cat didn't like the
feeling that played up and down her spine as she pulled the RCMP Jeep to a
halt. 
 
 "Hey, I know that car...." she heard Dixon say. 
 
 Cat didn't answer. She was busy trying to get a handle on what her sixth
sense told her. All sorts of images filled her mind, full of broken glass
and blood. She had attended too many collisions like this in her career
and she was too familiar with the scene she was likely to see. So why did
this one feel different? 
 
 Suddenly, Cat sucked in a breath as she realised who's Land Rover she
looked at. "Oh, Jesus, no!" she called, leaping out into the snow and
towards the car, terrified now at what she would see. 
 
 The images that came to mind as she stumbled through the snow were worse
than before and she slowed her pace as she approached the car. Constable
Dixon was close behind her and Cat knew he too had figured out whom the
car belonged to. 
 
 Cat pushed her way between the medics until she could see inside the
vehicle. It was just as she had expected. The driver was slumped over the
steering wheel, bleeding heavily. The rescue team cut the door away to
allow the medics better access. From where she stood Cat couldn't tell if
the driver was alive or dead. 
 
 "Jesus Christ," Dixon whispered beside her as he, too, saw the driver's
limp body. 
 
 One of the medics, turned to Cat and gently moved her aside. "I'm sorry,
Sergeant, you'll have to get out of the way." His voice curt and
efficient.
 
 Cat grew alarmed when she heard the man's voice. Did that mean it was
worse than it looked? She began to shake and tears filled her eyes.
Turning away from the busy scene in front of her, she stumbled into the
shadows so no one would see her pain.
 
 "Dear god, Will...." Cat whispered aloud, using Constable Marchand's
christian name for the first time.
 
 Four hours later the doctors at the hospital in Moose Jaw finally
persuaded Cat to leave, but only by threatening to admit her in order to
treat the shock she was so obviously suffering. Cat knew she had been
unreasonable and demanding, possibly even rude, but no one would tell her
anything. Eventually the ER doctors relented and gave her the information
she sought. Marchand was stable, but sedated and would not awaken until
the next day. They expected him to make a full recovery.
 
 Cat went home. Two hours earlier she sent Constable Dixon back to the
Depot and left him in charge. It wasn't something she would normally do,
but tonight she didn't care. For once, the 30km drive to her home in
Riverhurst seemed interminable, made more so by the slowness with which
she drove. 
 
 Cat's mind ran over the events of the day and she shuddered. 'What's
happening to me?' she asked silently. She knew it wasn't her fault that
Marchand was involved in a collision. 'If only I hadn't yelled at
him.....if I hadn't sent him home..... maybe he wouldn't be in the
hospital'. A wave of guilt hit her like a blow and she burst into tears. 
 
 Without indicating, Cat pulled off to the side of the road and without
turning off the engine, she rested her head on the steering wheel and
sobbed. It was as though she had tapped a previously unknown source of
emotion and she was unable to stem the flow of tears. 
 
 Cat was smart enough to know it was more than Marchand's accident that
caused it and her mind dredged up all the things that haunted her. She
thought about Lindy, about Phil and Ben, about the pain they each had felt
and then, finally, Cat reached the source of all the pain. Victoria.
Everything eventually was linked to the disruption this evil woman had
caused and the realisation made her angry. 
 
 Cat sat upright again and screamed at the top of her lungs, pleased that
she was miles away from anyone who might hear. She felt better after the
scream and when the cold began to seep into her bones, she slipped her
truck into gear and headed home.
 
 It had been a strange day. First, the dream that pulled her from her
sleep that morning. Then, the appearance of Jimmy Sunsinger, her first
lover, reminding her that her life was passing by too quickly. The final
straw was seeing Marchand lying unconscious in his car. She knew she
hadn't handled it very well. Cat knew things were getting out of control
for her. She knew Victoria's influence on Ben, and consequently Phil,
still affected her. She also knew it was time to do something to end the
hold the evil bitch had on all of them.
 
 At 2am Cat still prowled around the house. Not even Sheila or Bella could
bring her comfort. She made herself hot chocolate, in the hope it might
make her sleepy. With cup in hand she settled in front of the fireplace,
gazing up at the collection of artefacts Jimmy Sunsinger had admired less
than twenty-four hours earlier. Sheila and Bella joined her by the fire,
purring loudly and contentedly. 
 
 She stroked them in turn and was surprised when, without warning, both
cats leapt up and stared off into the shadows on the opposite side of the
room. Cat followed their stare, half expecting to see a mouse dash across
the floor. Bella miaowed loudly, then Sheila. Cat looked down at her cats,
perplexed by their strange behaviour. It seemed as though their purrs were
getting louder.
 
 "Hello, Cathy." 
 
 She heard the voice come from out of the shadows on the far side of the
room, where the cats stared. "What the fuck........" Cat whipped her head
around and was shocked to see the image of Bob Fraser, dressed in a thick
parka and fur hat, smiling at her from the other side of the room. "Holy
shit! Bob Fraser, oh my god......." Cat rose to her feet shakily, shoving
the cats aside.
 
 Bob chuckled heartily. "That's one of the things I love about you, Cathy,
you're such a lady."
 
 "Bob?" Cat took a step towards him, then stopped. Tears sprang to her
eyes and she brought her hand up to her mouth. "Oh my god, Bob...." she
managed to get out as the tears rolled freely down her face.
 
 "Cathy, Cathy, don't cry. I wish I could give you a hug, but they don't
seem to have figured that part out yet."
 
 Cat smiled, but still the tears rolled down her face. "Oh, Bob...."
 
 "Is that all you have to say? I don't see you for two and a half years
and all you can say is 'oh Bob'?" 
 
 Bob Fraser's smile was broad as he spoke and Cat stared at him, not
knowing what to do. An instant later something snapped in Cat and she
stepped towards the apparition. 
 
 "You bastard! You've been dead all this time and you wait until now to
visit. You bastard!" 
 
 Bob chuckled again. "I'm sorry, Cathy, but I've been busy and you seem to
be the only one who hasn't needed my help," he hesitated. "Until now."
 
 "But I've missed you, goddammit. I've missed you." Cat buried her face in
her hands and sobbed.
 
 "I've missed you too, Cathy." His voice was gentle as he made his way
across the room and sat down next to her. Sheila and Bella circled the
spot where he sat, purring loudly.
 
 It was some time before Cat was able to speak again. "What's it like?"
 
 "Being dead? Oh, it's busy, Cathy, very busy." Bob shook his head, as if
surprised at how busy being dead could be. "First, Benton went to Chicago
and I had to make sure he settled in. You know how he is about big
cities." 
 
 "Yeah, Bob, and I know what you're like in the city. I bet you were a big
help," she grinned, despite her tears.
 
 "Now, young lady, I'll have you know I am very good at handling myself in
any situation. Even a big city." He shook his finger at her. "I'm a
Mountie, you know." Cat chuckled and Bob frowned at her, then continued
with his story. "Then there was Gerard's trial," he laughed softly. "Yes,
I couldn't help myself, I went every day just to see that Gerard got what
was coming to him. Oh, I saw you there, don't worry." 
 
 Cat smiled and wiped her eyes as Bob went on. "Then Becka was found. I
had to make sure she was OK, but she's a tough one. A daughter like that
makes a father proud." He sighed before speaking again. "Then there was
that incident with Victoria. Benton really needed my help then. That
friend of his, Ray Vecchio, he's a good man. Can't say the same about his
father, but Ray's a good man." Cat's face gave away her opinion of Ray
Vecchio. "Oh, I know you don't like him, I've heard the things you've
said, but with Benton all alone down in Chicago, so far away from you, he
needs someone to make sure he doesn't get into any trouble. He's a good
friend to Benton." 
 
 The expression on the old man's face softened. "Plus, I was anxious to
spend some time with my beloved Caroline. You know we hadn't seen each
other for many years."
 
 Cat smiled tenderly at her old friend. "I can't believe you're here, Bob.
Ben told me he talked to you, but he hasn't mentioned it in a long time, I
thought maybe it was his imagination, but here you are." Cat's smile
faded. "Or have I really lost my mind? I've been wondering about that
lately."
 
 Bob laughed. "No trust me, you're quite sane. I'm really here. But I'm
here for a reason, Cat." 
 
 She looked at the apparition with raised eyebrows. Bob rarely used Ben's
name for her, only when it was serious. "What reason?"
 
 "I'm concerned about you. My god, girl, you need a vacation. I know it's
been a busy year for you. There was the Victoria business and Benton
getting shot, then Phil needed your help." He paused, then in a voice full
of tenderness continued. "I've noticed you haven't had a very good day
today."
 
 "How do you know all these things, Bob? Have you been spying on me?" Cat
cast a cheeky sideways grin at the silver-haired man.
 
 "Not spying, Cathy, just keeping an eye on you. So far you've been OK,
but now you need someone to look after you. That's why I'm here." He gave
her a conspiratorial smile, "What about Christmas in Chicago?" Cat stared
at him with raised eyebrows as he continued. "Don't look at me like that.
It sounds like a good idea to me. While you're there you can do something
about Benton and Phil."
 
 "Is that what this is really about, Bob? Is that why you're really here?"
She smiled at him affectionately, not at all surprised that Bob Fraser was
just as charming dead as he had been alive.
 
 "Only partly. I meant what I said, Cathy, I am worried about you. I've
never seen you like this, and to yell at someone before you were sure of
the facts....that's not like you." 
 
 Cat hung her head. "So you know about Marchand, too?"
 
 "Yes, yes I do." He moved closer, whispering gently, "Go to Chicago. For
me, for Benton, for Phil, but mostly for yourself."
 
 Cat looked at him for a moment and then burst into tears again. "Oh god,
Bob, I'm just so......exhausted," she blurted out between sobs.
 
 "I know, Cathy, but your reward is coming."
 
 "What?"
 
 "Go to Chicago and see if you can't make any headway with Benton and
Phil. It will be good for all of you."
 
 "What are you talking about, Bob? What good will it do me to go to
Chicago? And how can I get Ben and Phil together, I've tried. They're too
stubborn," she hesitated. "And what reward?" 
 
 "The answer to all those questions, Cathy, is to go to Chicago and see
what happens." Bob replied enigmatically, then faded away, leaving Cat
calling out after him.
 
 Cat finally made her way to bed at 4am. After Bob's visit she paced
restlessly, wondering why he waited until now to appear. She was concerned
about the things Bob had asked of her. More than anyone, Cat knew how
important it was for Ben and Phil to regain what they had lost when
Victoria came into their lives. But she couldn't figure out what Bob meant
when he said it would be good for all of them. How would a visit to
Chicago help her? 
 
 Even more puzzling though, was Bob's assertion that her 'reward was
coming'. What could that possibly mean? As she lay in her bed, surrounded
by purring balls of fur, Cat was sure about one thing Bob had said. She
needed a break. The past 24 hours had served to make her more sure of that
than ever. When sleep finally began to overcome her, Cat gave herself up
to it, without hesitation. 
 
 Almost immediately she began to dream. Her mind was filled with the
vision of a beautiful little girl with long dark curls cascading over her
shoulders and the bluest eyes she had ever seen. The child was dressed in
a scarlet gown that seemed to shimmer as she spoke. 
 
 "Cathy, you don't know me, but I seek your help."
 
 "Wh....what?" Cat mumbled.
 
 "There are people who need you to help them find true happiness."
 
 "Who are you?"
 
 "I am someone you never met, but someone who is connected to you. A bond
has been broken. I was part of that bond. I need you to help me mend it." 
 
 Cat felt a little irritated, who else needed her help now? She tossed in
her sleep and spoke aloud. "I can't help anyone else, it's too much."
 
 "You know what you have to do."
 
 Cat's ever-present sixth sense kicked in. "Is this about Ben and Phil? I
already told Bob...." 
 
 "Your reward is coming." 
 
 Cat flinched. Bob had said the same thing. "What?"
 
 "Look for what is yours at the edge of the earth."
 
 "I'm too tired to figure out your riddles."
 
 "The edge of the earth..." child repeated.
 
 When Cat awoke the next morning, the first image that came into her mind
was the child from her dream. Curled up under the covers, with Sheila
against the small of her back and Bella tucked behind her knees, she ran
through as much of her dream as she could remember. The child seemed to be
about ten years old with blue eyes that were as familiar to Cat as her
own. 
 
 The realisation hit her suddenly and she gasped. Lindy. When she said the
name Sheila and Bella stopped what they were doing and looked at her. It
all made sense, Ben and Phil's child was asking for Cat's help to
reconnect her parents. She knew that it was a request she could not
refuse.
 
 Cat made two phone calls when she got up, one to Regina to lodge an
application for leave and the other to Ben, to tell him she was coming. It
wasn't until much later that day, when Cat was checking something in her
diary, that she realised the date. November 23. Ten years to the day since
Lindy had died.
 
 
 Chicago was surprisingly warm for winter. Ben waited less than patiently
for the clock to strike midday so that he could be relieved from sentry
duty. Ever since 9.30am, when he had seen yet another woman who looked
like Phil, he had been restless and distracted. He wanted desperately to
speak to Cat. He had called her a lot lately, every time something
reminded him about Phil. He felt a little guilty about it, but there was
no one else he could talk to. 
 
 He wouldn't trouble Becka with his worries. She had been through too
much. He had vowed never to tell Ray about Phil. He certainly couldn't
tell Ray how often he thought he saw her. He talked to Dief, but his
wolf's knowledge in this particular area was sadly lacking. Plus, his
father had been strangely absent of late. He was beginning to feel like he
was losing his mind. The clock struck twelve and Constable Cooper arrived
promptly, allowing Ben to hurry to the sanctity of his office. 
 
 Turnbull called out to Ben as he passed his desk. "Constable. I have a
message for you. It's from a Sergeant Madden in Moose Jaw." He fumbled on
the desk until he found the slip of paper and handed it to Ben. 
 
 Ben nodded his thanks and took the message into his office, smiling all
the while. It seemed Cat's intuition was working well, as always. She
always knew when he needed her, although it was unusual for Cat to call
him at work. She knew how he felt about taking personal calls at the
office. Frowning slightly, he hoped nothing was wrong. Cat was rarely
sick. What could it be? Had something else happened to Phil? He shucked
his tunic and picked up phone, dialling Cat's number from memory. She
answered after two rings.
 
 
 "Cat, Cat calm down." Ben's heart raced. He had never known Cat to be so
upset, at least not since the time her parents were killed fifteen years
earlier. 
 
 Their conversation began with Cat saying she was coming to Chicago for a
month long vacation and before he knew it she was in tears.
 
 "But he was just laying there, unconscious. My last words to him were
angry ones." 
 
 Ben listened while Cat told him about the day before; about Jimmy
Sunsinger, about her strange dreams, about Constable Marchand's accident
and lastly, about his father's visit. Admittedly, it was a great deal to
have happen in one day, but Cat was the toughest person he had ever known.
Nothing ever upset her this much. It was so out of character for her and
Ben was more than a little worried. He licked nervously at his lips and
did his best to sound comforting. 
 
 "But you said you talked to him at the hospital, Cat. You said he was
going to be all right."
 
 "Yes, he's OK. I just feel so goddamn bad about it. Then your father
appeared. Why did he wait until now? He kept talking about my reward
coming soon. And Phil, he talked about Phil."
 
 "Phil....." Ben's voice caught in his throat. Why was his father talking
to Cat about Phil?
 
 "Look, Ben, if you prefer I stay somewhere else just say so." 
 
 It was as though they were having different conversations. Cat's mention
of Phil had distracted Ben, but he shook the thought away. Cat was so
distraught she didn't even realised she mentioned Phil's name.
 
 "No, Cat, I want you to stay with me," Ben smiled into the phone,
bringing his attention back to his friend. "It will be great having you
here for the Holidays."
 
 "Good, I'll be arriving late December."
 
 
 
 "So how long is she staying, Fraser?" Ray Vecchio cast a sidelong glance
at his friend, but could not see his reaction in the intermittent light
cast by the passing streetlights.
 
 "Four weeks, Ray." 
 
 Ray screwed up his face but remained silent as he drove. He'd silently
fumed since they left the Consulate half an hour ago, ever since Ben told
him that The Sergeant was coming to Chicago for the Holidays. Her visit
itself didn't bother him. He could keep out of her way without too much
trouble. The problem was with Christmas dinner. Ever since his mother
learned that Ben had spent the previous Christmas alone, she had been on
his case about making sure it didn't happen again. For the past month his
mother had continually reminded Ben that he would join the Vecchio clan
for the Holidays. 'No matter what' she said. If Ray knew his mother, that
invitation would now include The Sergeant as well.
 
 "Of course, I'll tell your mother that I will not be joining your family
for Christmas dinner, Ray." 
 
 "Like she'll let you get away with that, Fraser," Ray muttered. "You
might as well tell The Sergeant she's invited as well." 
 
 He was pleased for the darkness in the car. Fraser couldn't see the
evidence of his dislike of his friend. Ray couldn't figure out why he
didn't like Sergeant Cathy Madden. He shrugged to himself and thought
about all the women he had met from Fraser's past; Victoria, Becka and The
Sergeant. All of them dangerous in their own ways. Were all the women
Fraser knew like that? He shuddered involuntarily and tried to shake off
the thought. But no matter how hard he tried, something niggled at the
back of his mind. Something about The Sergeant's visit.
 
 "Ray!" Ben's voice snapped Ray out of his reverie. "Did you hear me?" Ben
asked, concern in his voice.
 
 "Wasn't listening, Fraser." Ray shook his head. "I was thinking about
something else....."
 
 
 Phil was ecstatic when she put down the phone. Cat was coming to Chicago
for four weeks. She looked forward to spending some time with the woman
whose friendship she had come to value. It was a shame Cat couldn't stay
at her apartment, but they would still have plenty of time together, she
would see to that. Maybe Cat would spend Christmas with the McKenzies.
Maybe she could get Cat and TJ together again. It looked like it was going
to be an interesting time.
 
 Chance leapt onto Phil's desk, sliding across the surface on a letter she
had been reading when the phone rang. Phil laughed as the letter and cat
continued across the desk, unhampered by its smooth surface, and fell to
the floor on the other side.
 
 Phil stood and headed to the kitchen to make coffee, still thinking about
Cat's visit. The other woman hadn't really explained why she was coming to
Chicago, but Phil was sure it was something to do with her work. It had to
be. Why else would she come to Chicago at Christmas? Phil reached for the
coffeepot and poured a cup, frowning slightly. Chance slipped into the
kitchen and wound his way around Phil's ankles.
 
 "I'll feed you in a minute," Phil said, staring out the window as she
sipped at her coffee. 
 
 Phil found herself wondering where Cat usually spent her Holidays. As
soon as the thought crossed her mind she regretted it. Phil knew Cat spent
her Christmases with Ben. They were all the family each other had. They
were both alone. A sadness gripped Phil suddenly. Cat's visit to Chicago
meant that Ben would be alone this year.
 
 Before Phil realised what she was doing, she made her way across the
apartment to the closet in her bedroom. Chance trotted behind her, as if
this was some new adventure. She opened the door and reached into the
depths for the box she knew would be there. The box that held Ben's
memorabilia. 
 
 Phil carried the box to the bed and sat down, setting her coffee cup on
the nightstand. With a monumental sigh, she lifted the lid and peered
inside, almost afraid of what she would find.
 
 *Miaow*
 
 "Yes, I'll feed you soon, Chance," Phil whispered huskily. Just staring
at the contents of Ben's box was enough to make her voice catch in her
throat and her heart pound. She reached a tentative hand to touch the
uppermost item, a letter, but at the last minute she pulled away. 
 
 Unseen by Phil, who was otherwise occupied, Chance jumped onto the bed.
With an impatient flick of the tail, he circled both Phil and the box,
peeved that his request for his evening meal was not being met.
 
 Phil stared into the box, lost in thoughts of Ben and their past. "Why am
I doing this?" she asked out loud. "I'm over him." Phil's voice grew shaky
as she whispered, "and I don't care if he's alone."
 
 Chance sat back and looked at Phil. He knew that whatever was in the box
had captured the woman's attention. With the rationale common to all cats,
he flicked his tail and made a decision. In a smooth, graceful manoeuvre
Chance leapt into Ben's box.
 
 The sudden movement made Phil jump, snapping her mind back to the
present. She gave a nervous laugh and then reached for the bundle of fur,
lifting him out of the box. "I'm sorry, Chance. I forgot to feed you."
Frowning disapprovingly at the box, she reached over and closed the lid
then stood and carried the box back to the closet. When it was safely
returned to the dark confines where it would not tempt her, Phil collected
Chance from the bed and carried him out to the kitchen for his dinner.
 
 "I'm so sorry for neglecting you, Chance," Phil whispered as she stroked
the feline, "I just got side-tracked." 
 
 
 The stab of loneliness that usually accompanied him was absent briefly as
Ben stepped into his barren apartment. He smiled as he thought about the
reason for this lightheartedness. Cat was coming to Chicago for Christmas.
 
 *Woof*
 
 Ben hung his Stetson on a hook by the door and removed his coat. "I'm
sorry, Dief, but Ray could not visit with us tonight." He hung his coat
and walked past his lupine companion. "But I do have some good news......"
 
 Dief followed him into the kitchen and waited patiently for his dinner,
listening intently while Alpha Male told him about the Cat Woman's visit.
Would she bring Sheila and Bella?
 
 "No, Sheila and Bella won't be coming to visit." Ben frowned at Dief's
disappointed whine. "Perhaps we can visit them soon." He shook his head
and wondered why he pandered to the wolf. "Pay and pay and pay......" he
muttered under his breath as he slid Diefenbaker's food in front of him.
 
 Dief ignored Ben's last remark. He was supposed to be deaf anyway. He
stuck his muzzle into the bowl and snorted his disapproval. Leftovers
again.
 
 Ben made his way across the apartment, leaving the wolf to his meal. He
slipped out of his uniform, still thinking about Cat's visit. The previous
Christmas he had spent alone in his apartment. As he changed into jeans
and a flannel shirt, Ben realised that he was looking forward to more than
just Cat's presence. Maybe she would give him more information about Phil.
 
 Phil. Just thinking about her made his heart rate rise. With slow,
deliberate movements, he crossed the room and sat on his bed. With a sigh,
he cleared his personal items off the top of his father's trunk. Ben took
a deep, steadying breath and lifted the lid then reached into the depths.
His hand fell immediately on the item he sought. The box of Phil's
memorabilia. 
 
 Tentatively, Ben raised the box to his nose, inhaling deeply, searching
for a hint of the lavender scent he knew still lingered there. He closed
his eyes and let his mind drift. Yes, he could smell the lavender almost
as clearly as he had all those years ago, when he first smelled Phil's
lavender scented hair.
 
 *Woof. Whine*
 
 Ben's head snapped up, a guilty expression clouding his features. Dief
sat by the door, impatiently banging his tail on the floor. Ben licked his
lips and lowered the box that he still held aloft. The stiffness in his
arms told him he had sat in that position far longer than he realised.
 
 "Ah......I'm sorry, Diefenbaker." Ben said in a whisper, afraid of the
emotion he heard in his own voice. "I'll be with you in just a moment." In
silence he returned Phil's box to its place in the trunk and closed the
lid. 
 
 Dief watched Ben from his place by the door. It amazed him how stupid
humans could be sometimes. He couldn't figure out why he didn't just hunt
down the Lavender Woman. He had been smelling the box for a long time,
more than long enough to be able to track her scent. Dief wondered if
maybe he should go out and find the Lavender Woman for Alpha Male himself.
 
 Ben stood and slipped into his jacket, then crossed the room to stand in
front of Dief. The wolf looked up at him accusingly and Ben checked his
watch. "Yes Dief, I know it's time for your walk." He cleared his throat
and opened the front door to cover his embarrassment. "I'm sorry, I was a
little preoccupied."
 
 
 The computer screen blurred in front of Cat's eyes. She hated using it.
She was sure it sucked out a bit of her brain every time, but she had to
check the emails from Regina. Absently she poked at the return key and
waited for the next message to appear. The system was slow tonight. Cat
tapped impatiently and let her vision blur again, giving her mind
permission to go elsewhere. It went to Chicago.
 
 Cat looked forward to her visit with Ben. They hadn't spent any time
together in almost six months. Not since the visit during which she had
told him of Phil's entrance into her life. She looked forward to seeing
Phil again too. But more than anything she looked forward to seeing Ben
and Phil together. She smiled to herself. She looked forward to seeing TJ
as well. Cat almost wished she hadn't told him that they should just be
friends. She shook that thought away. This trip wasn't about her love
life. It was about Ben and Phil.
 
 Ben and Phil. Cat's mind drifted from Chicago, back in time to a cabin in
Aklavik, where Ben told her about Victoria. The time he told her that
there was no more Ben and Phil. She shook that thought away as well. That
time was long past and now Ben and Phil would get their second chance. The
very thought warmed her in a way she hadn't felt in a long time.
 
 "Sergeant Madden." The voice broke through Cat's thoughts and she looked
up, focusing on the pretty young woman standing in her doorway. 
 
 Constable Jenny Newman had been sent from Yellowhorse to fill in whilst
Constable Marchand was recovering. Cat liked her. Perhaps she would
introduce her to Marchand. 
 
 "Are you all right, Sergeant? I've been calling you for ages."
 
 Cat smiled broadly. "Yes, Constable, I'm fine. I just got a little
distracted."
 
 
 The catches on Cat's pack closed with a grudging snap. She picked it up
and tested the weight with one hand, surprised the catches had closed at
all. Sheila and Bella observed her from their position on her bed. Since
the rest of Bella's kittens had gone to new homes, Sheila and Bella had
become inseparable and now they were united moreso in their annoyance at
Cat's impending departure.
 
 "You're just sulking because I won't take you with me," Cat frowned at
the pair on the bed. "I promise you, Diefenbaker will come to visit soon."
She heaved her pack onto her shoulders and shook her head at the cats,
wondering why she pandered to them so. With a final glance in their
direction, she headed downstairs to await the arrival of her housesitter.
 
 Sheila and Bella looked at each other after Cat left the room. In silent
agreement they waited the required time, just long enough to let Cat think
they didn't care she was going, then in a flurry dashed out of the room
and down the stairs.
 
 Cat settled her pack by the front door just in time to hear the car in
her drive. By the time she opened the door, her housesitter was making her
way up the front steps.
 
 "Hi, Jenny."
 
 "Hello, Cathy," the younger woman replied. "I'm so pleased you asked me
to housesit."
 
 In a moment of inspiration Cat had asked Constable Jenny Newman to
housesit whilst she was away. Jenny was very happy. She said it was much
better than the tiny hotel the RCMP had put her up in. Cat was relieved
that Sheila and Bella would have someone to take care of them. Someone who
liked cats. Despite the fact that she had travelled on and off all through
the cat's lives, Sheila and Bella never ceased to show their disapproval
at being left alone.
 
 Cat led Jenny around the house, running through all the idiosyncrasies of
her home and her cats. By the time they returned to the living room,
Sheila and Bella were sitting on the steps silently observing their
visitor. Sheila, being the elder, was the first to descend the stairs and
check out the newcomer. 
 
 Cat laughed. "I'm sorry, Jenny, these two are very peculiar cats."
 
 Jenny bent down to stroke Sheila, who miaowed loudly in what could only
be approval. Bella leapt off the stairs and joined her.
 
 Cat laughed again. "I think you're going to get on just fine."
 
 Jenny smiled up at her. "They're gorgeous. I'm going to enjoy this so
much."
 
 The sound of a car in the drive signalled the arrival of Cat's ride to
the airport.
 
 "That's my ride." Cat turned to Jenny. "You have my contact numbers in
Chicago. Just leave a message at the Consulate with Benton Fraser." She
picked up her pack and slung it on to her shoulders, a small grin
threatening. "By the way, I've invited Will Marchand to drop over. He
knows the cats really well, plus he housesat for me last time I went to
Chicago. He'll be glad to help if you need anything. I've left his number
on the refrigerator." Cat turned in the direction of the front door so
Jenny wouldn't see her smile. "In fact, if you've got nothing to do, call
him up. He's bored and restless. He thinks he's well enough to go back to
work, but the doctors won't let him. He might even take you riding, he's
got a pair of fine horses."
 
 Before Jenny could respond, Constable Dixon appeared in the doorway. He
greeted Cat and Jenny and took Cat's pack out to the car, leaving her free
to bid farewell to her precious pets. Cat gave final instructions to Jenny
and then turned her attention to Sheila and Bella. She cuddled each one in
turn and promised to say hello to Dief for them. The cats flicked their
tails and moved to sit with Jenny. Cat laughed. After a final farewell to
Jenny, she headed out to where Constable Dixon waited.
 
 As Cat climbed into the RCMP issue Jeep, she smiled to herself. Ben would
be appalled if he knew Constable Dixon was driving her to the airport in a
squad car. She could almost hear his voice telling her that 'RCMP vehicles
are not for personal use. What if an emergency occurred whilst you were
elsewhere'. She was still chuckling as Constable Dixon slid into the
driver's seat and started the car. 
 
 Cat waved to Jenny as they pulled out of her drive. Constable Dixon
steered the car onto the highway and headed towards the airport, leaving
Cat to her thoughts. 
 
 Cat smiled at the passing scenery, lost in thoughts about the year past.
It had been a long and tough year, but now she was exhilarated. This trip
to Chicago would be good for all concerned. She was going to get Ben and
Phil together and, finally, she would get the vacation she needed. If she
could get Marchand and Jenny together it would be a bonus. It seemed that
Bob Fraser was right after all. She laughed out loud.
 
 Constable Dixon looked at Cat. She had been so unhappy lately but this
vibrant woman was more like the Sergeant Madden he used to know. "What's
so funny, Sergeant?" 
 
 Cat turned a winning smile at her driver, "Just thinking, Dixon. Just
thinking....."
 
 
 All comments welcome at mullum@tig.com.au
 
 Nothing Lasts Forever (Book 2 of the Ben and Phil Saga)
 
 1.Nothing Lasts Forever 
 2.Of Second Chances by Carol Trendall 
 3.Winter in America is Cold by Carol Trendall 
 4.Lavender Memories 
 5.Distractions by Carol Trendall 
 6.No Aphrodisiac by Carol Trendall 
 7.Life's Insanity by Carol Trendall 
 8.Standing on the Edge by Carol Trendall 
 9.Of Past Regret and Future Fear by Carol Trendall 
 10.A Summoning of Things Past 
 11.Three Parts Dead 
 12.A Job Well Done 
 13.Touchstones of Character 
 14.But For the Night 
 15.Tangled Webs 
 16.Suspicions 
 17.Chasms of the Mind (with Carol Trendall) 
 18.Outskirts by Carol Trendall