Realizations Realizations By: Tara Semperger "Damn it, don't you give up on me!!" Benton gently cursed to himself as he knelt beside Meg's unconcious body laying in the snow. Meg had needed to clear her mind. To sort out the feelings that she was feeling for her subordinate. Lately she had been re-playing the precious moments she had spent in his arms on top of the train filled with unconcious Mounties. So she had set out on a small hike yesterday, only she hadn't been expecting the storm and the danger that lay waiting for her in the new snow. Her thoughts had been on Fraser and she had missed seeing the edge of the trap poking out of the snow. In seconds it had snapped shut onto her leg, crushing the bone, and sending waves of excrutiating pain up and down her body. Perhaps it was adrenaline or just sheer luck, but she had managed to pry those jaws off her leg and pull her leg out of the trap. She was injured and alone, and then everything started to go black ... Meg moaned softly as Fraser gently removed the boot from her injured leg. Then he took his knife and gently removed the fabric from her leg. Using branches from a nearby tree and the lanyard from around his neck Fraser applied a splint to her leg. When he was finished, Fraser effortlessly picked up Meg's body and began walking to a very familiar place, his father's cabin. Warmth, strong arms around her. Thatcher slowly regained conciousness as Fraser sat beside her holding her tenderly. She felt safe, secure ... not wanting to open her eyes for fear that those feelings would be lost. Lying in the snow had allowed water to seep into Thatcher's clothing, she was thoroughly soaking wet. She had survived so far, and unwilling to let her die of hypothermia, Fraser had removed her waterlogged clothing and placed his own shirt around her shivering shoulders. He spent the next several hours just holding her close to him for warmth and gently singing to her. It was a pleasant sound, very reassuring and Meg slept soundly for the first time in weeks. "Inspector?" Fraser was kneeling by her as Thatcher opened her eyes for the first time since Fraser had found her. As she looked around at her surroudings, and at her subordinate she didn't quite know what to make of things. "Are you hungry?" Fraser was asking her as he handed her a bowl of soup. "Yes, starving", Meg said and accepted the offering from Fraser, pulling herself up into a sitting position with the bed roll tucked under her arms. "Constable just what is going on here?" Meg managed to say as she quickly ate her soup. She was referring to the fact that she was nearly naked inside of her subordinate's bed roll of course. Fraser didn't show his usual timidness when he spoke this time. "You were injured, Inspector. You needed help." "Constable you wouldn't ... I mean we didn't ..." Meg kept trailing off as she looked into Benton's eyes, but she immediately had to turn her head when she saw the pain expressed in Ben's face. "Sir, I would never ...," "No I suppose you wouldn't." Meg cut him off in mid sentence. He was a good man, and loyal too. She would kick herself later for this she was sure of it. The next few moments were filled with an awkward silence as Meg and Ben finished their soup. "Constable, where are we?" "This was my father's cabin, sir ... I come here whenever I'm back in Canada. It's very peaceful." "Yes, it is" Meg replied. "Your clothing is dry now and if I may ask sir, how are you feeling now? Do you think that you can travel?" Thatcher was amazed at the level of concern that Fraser's voice showed as she took her clothes from his hand and slipped into them gingerly. "I'm ... sore." Thatcher said at first. "But your plans are fine with me Constable - when do you want to start back?" With that Meg stood to her feet only to have her injured leg betray her. Fraser had to move quickly but he caught Meg before she slammed into the wall and gently lowered her back to the ground. "Perhaps we should wait until tomorrow to head back sir." "I think you're right Fraser." Her frustation was evident as Fraser helped her back to the ground and into a sitting position. Infuriated with her inability to control herself, Meg heard herself snap at Fraser. "I'm not an invalid Constable, I can do this myself you know!" "Understood, sir." That was all Fraser could manage to say as he sat down across from her. Like a cancer cell growing to envelop someone's body, the silence in the room was becoming overwhelming and Meg shifted uncomfortably. "Constable how did you find me? I mean why would you risk your life going out into that storm?" "Headquarters said you hadn't returned from your hike sir ... I, well I was concerned." Meg looked at Fraser for only a moment, trying to decipher the puzzling look on his face before saying, "thank you Constable. I don't know how you found me out there but I'm grateful that you did." "Actually sir, finding you was quite easy once I found your tracks ... " As Fraser continued with his monologue Thatcher realized just how tired she actually was, her muscles ached and so did her leg. Reaching her hands up to her shoulders Thatcher tried, with no success, to rub the tension out of her shoulders and her eyes closed in silent frustration. "Sir?" Meg heard Fraser say softly as she dealt with her discomfort. "Do you trust me?" Opening her eyes to look at Fraser, she was greeted by an intense gaze. "Yes Fraser I do trust you." I'll be dammed she thought to herself as the words left her mouth, she actually did trust this man completely. Then she felt Fraser gently take her hands and lower them back to her lap. As he massaged her shoulders for her Thatcher felt the tension slowly leave her body. Hesitantly she rested her head against his shoulder and her breathing begin to slow until she was sleeping soundly while Benton watched over her. The smell of food the next morning shook Meg out of her dreams. Fraser was standing near here with a plate of steaming food. "Here you go sir, you're going to need your energy. Your leg looks a lot better than it did a day ago, and the storm has passed. I think that we'll be able to make it back to headquarters today if you're up to travelling." Gratefully accepting the food Fraser was handing to her Meg said, "I am feeling better Fraser, we should probably start out soon if we're going to make it back before the sun sets." Fraser had already prepared his pack, when Meg finally worked her way out of the bed roll for Fraser to attach it to the bottom of the pack. "This might help sir." Fraser told her as he handed her a long, sturdy walking stick that he had cut this morning. Grasping the stick Thatcher and Fraser once again set out into the wilderness. After only a short time the terrain became almost sheer ice. Unaccustomed to the walking stick Meg stumbled and would have fallen head first into the ice if Fraser hadn't caught her. At first he didn't let her up, only stared at her. "Thanks." Meg said and Fraser snapped his thoughts back to the present again as he let her up. After 5 or 6 hours of straight walking Fraser looked over at his superior officer to see her chest rising and falling rather forcefully, she was tiring. Meg knew that her body was in pain and that she could use a short rest but she didn't want Fraser to think that she couldn't handle this so she said nothing. "Sir, could we stop for a moment? I just need to catch my breath." Fraser suddenly said. Like hell, Thatcher thought, you haven't even broken a sweat yet but she was so grateful for the chance to rest. Lowering herself down onto a nearby rock Thatcher found herself staring at Fraser. "Constable, I appreciate this. I appreciate you. All of your help that is ... I didn't know if I was strong enough to get through this." Thatcher couldn't stop herself from rambling on. The look in Fraser's eyes said more then he wanted it to as he spoke, "sir, you are one of the strongest people that I know ... you just needed to trust and rely on someone else this time." He started to say something else but he trailed off quickly. "Constable I want you to be able to speak freely with me, what is it?" Meg said waiting with baited breath for his answer. Lifting his eyes to look at her Ben reached out tenderly and caressed the side of her face. The gentleness of the touch surprised Meg and she tilted her face into his caress. When she opened her eyes again Fraser's face was inches away from her own and she knew what was being asked of her as she silently nodded her head. Needing no other permission Fraser lowered his head to hers and kissed her gently. After sitting a few minutes longer the pair resumed their journey in silence until Meg finally spoke up. "Constable, Fraser ...," looking straight into his eyes she trailed off for only a moment before continuing softly, "Benton - I know what I said before, I was confused, at the time it seemed like the right thing to say but now things are different." Having finally spoken her heart to him she slowly brought herself to look at him again. She didn't look like his superior officer anymore, there was a softness in her eyes. When he didn't say anything Meg got a little nervous ... had she misjudged the emotion between them. After a few minutes, only they seemed like hours to Meg, Fraser finally looked at her and smiled. "Understood, Margaret." It was the first time that he had ever dared call her by her first name. With that he reached out and covered her hand with his and they continued on. The RCMP Headquarters building loomed on the horizon as Fraser and Thatcher climbed one final hill. The pain in Thatcher's leg had now grown quite intense again and she limped tentatively towards the door. Then in one fluid movement Fraser had picked her up and was carrying her the rest of the way - she offered no resistance to him. Carrying her inside the building Fraser instinctively followed a series of hallways down to a large infirmary. The on-duty doctor came over and motioned Fraser to put Thatcher down on a nearby bed. Fraser put her down and then was asked to leave while the doctor examined Thatcher and her leg. A short time later Sergeant Michaels approached him in the waiting room. "The doctor was quite impressed with your handiwork Constable. The Inspector's leg will heal completely. Good work son." Clasping the outstretched hand Fraser replied. "Thank you sir." Then his superior officer turned and walked back to his office. Fraser made his way back into the infirmary. Sitting down in a chair beside Meg's bed he watched her as she slept. The hole in his heart that Victoria had burned was only a distant memory now as he watched her chest rise and fall gently - he was finally whole again. THE END ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 643411@ican.net