Discoveries In The Dark    

m/m situation 

Rated R 

 

Hi! I have finally decided to come out of lurkdom and post a story. But
before I do, I want to say how much I have been enjoying all the stories
this list has to offer - and the drabbles are great fun! 

Well, some background: this is my first Due South story; however it's not
my first slash story. This story would have an R or NC-17 rating (well,
I'm South African, but I think I have this rating thing figured out) for
m/m sex. (Although it isn't terribly explicit, I don't think...) 

Disclaimer: I didn't create these characters, I'm just borrowing them for
a while. Suing me would be a waste of time, especially if you know what
the rand/dollar exchange rate is! 

If anyone out there would like to offer comments, I'd be happy to get
some, especially considering that I've never written a DS story before and
would like to know what people think of this effort. 

BTW, the taglines at the end of each part are added automatically by my
mailer. They're not meant as strange messages or anything. ;) 

Enough preamble. On with the story. 

- T'Mar. 

 DISCOVERIES IN THE DARK 

By T'Mar 

How had they gotten into this mess? Afterwards Ray would ask himself that
a dozen times, but right now there were a few more pressing things to
worry about: the cold, the darkness, the fact that they might freeze to
death in here and nobody would ever know. 

"How cold do you think this water is, Benny?" he asked his friend. 

"Just above freezing, Ray. I'd say that we stand a good chance of getting
hypothermia if we remain in here too long." 

"Who'd'a thought we'd go out like this? Stuck in here? Who'd'a thought the
guy would have a real dungeon, huh?" 

"Strictly speaking, it isn't a dungeon, Ray. More like a cave, I'd say.
This water is coming out of the ground. And it isn't his, I'd say he just
decided to use it as a way to dispose of us without getting chased by the
police." 

"Yeah, yeah. And the fact that it's a cave is also why it's pitch dark in
here, right?" 

"Yes, Ray." 

"Great. We'll freeze to death, if we don't starve first. No meat to wrap
ourselves in this time." He pulled his jacket closer around himself.
"Where do you think Diefenbaker is?" 

"I'd hope he's gone for help, but you realise that what he thinks of as
help..." Fraser trailed off, because Ray would know what he meant. 

"Yeah, I get it, Benny. He'll wait for some *Canadian* to help us. By the
time he gets back here we'll be popsicles." 

"Not necessarily, Ray. He might find help sooner than that." 

"Don't hold your breath, Benny." 

His friend said nothing to that; only shifted slightly. "Try to conserve
body heat, Ray." 

"How?" 

Fraser hesitated, as if reluctant to mention something like this. "We
could... move closer together." There was a strange catch in his voice, as
though he was uncomfortable saying it. 

But Ray didn't notice. "Sure; maybe then we'll still be alive by the time
your wolf brings the Canadian Cavalry." He moved up against Fraser. "How's
this, Benny? Better?" 

"Yes, Ray." 

There was silence for a few seconds. "Benny?" 

"Yes, Ray?" 

"Maybe you should tell me an Inuit story now. Y'know, something to keep us
occupied." 

"No Inuit story seems appropriate for this situation." 

"What, Eskimos never got trapped in freezing caves by psychos?" 

"Not that I'm aware of, no. Now, occasionally, polar bears..." Fraser did
exactly what Ray had been trying to get him to do - talk. If he could just
listen to the sound of the Mountie's voice he wouldn't have to think about
the cold, or the freezing water, or the fact that one of them - namely,
him - had been so stupid as to let a psycho lure them here to get rid of
them. He should have listened to Benny, but he had to go charging in, and
of course Fraser had gone after him... 

"Ray?" 

"What?!" Ray yelled without meaning to. 

"Are you all right?" 

"Sure, Fraser, swell, considering where I am." 

"You were very quiet." 

"I was just thinking... you said you knew this was a trap, but you came
anyway. Why?" 

"I couldn't leave you here alone. You might have been killed." 

Ray shivered, and Fraser shifted again. "Wrap your arms around me and I'll
do the same. Close proximity will conserve more heat." 

"Fraser..." 

"Ray, you're shivering." 

"Geez." Ray did as he was told. "Like that?" 

"Yes. How do you feel?" 

"Better. Thanks, Benny." It felt odd, hugging his friend like this. Odd...
"You could have saved yourself, Benny. You didn't need to come after me.
Is that a Canadian thing that you do?" 

"You're my friend, Ray." Fraser said it as if expecting that to explain
everything... and perhaps it did. No, that was wrong. Perhaps it should
have. But Ray had had other friends, and none would have sacrificed
themselves this way. 

That wasn't quite true, either. One cop might die for another one. And he
and Fraser were both cops... No. There was something there, something
more, something that Fraser wasn't saying. 

Ray let go slightly. "You could have gone for help." 

"I wasn't going to leave you here alone." The tone was firm. 

"Why, Benny? Okay, so I don't like dark, freezing caves. But..." 

Fraser cut him off. "Diefenbaker will find help." 

Ray recognised an attempt to change the subject. He tried to think: if
Benny had been the one rushing in where angels fear to tread, would he
have left him here and gone for help? His chest tightened when he realised
he wouldn't have. He'd have done the same thing, and they'd still be in
here. But the question was still, why? 

'Because you can't face life without him,' said a little voice inside.
'This person is a part of your life, and whatever happens, you will be
there for him.' Ray wondered when *that* had happened; when he had stopped
thinking of Fraser as a buddy, an occasional nuisance, a fellow cop, a
strange Canadian... and when he had started to think of him just as Benny,
his friend. 'Sometimes love is like that,' said the voice. 'It develops
over time.' 

Whoa! Ray let go of Fraser as if he were boiling hot. 

"Ray, you'll get cold. And so will I." 

"Sorry." He resumed the odd hug, more tentatively this time. "You should
have gone for help," he said, wanting to push Fraser just a little, to see
what he'd say. 

"No." That was all. Just no. 

"Benny..." 

"Ray, please. You want me to explain my basic behaviour. It's what I do. I
never leave anyone alone to die." 

"We're not gonna die!" 

"Of course not. It's who I am, Ray. I couldn't leave you." 

"Okay." Ray tried a new tactic. "If it were Huey here and not me, would
you have gone for help?" 

Fraser opened his mouth to say that he would have done exactly the same
thing... but the words wouldn't come out. He wanted to rationalise; he
wanted to say that Huey would have been upset if he *hadn't* gone for
help... But all he could think of was that the thought of Ray alone in the
psycho's trap had made him stay. He couldn't let Ray go through this
alone, not Ray... 

"Fraser?" Benny had been silent for rather too long - for Fraser, anyway. 

"You're right, Ray. I would have gone for help. What does this prove?" 

"I don't know, Benny." 

Fraser felt Ray's grip on him tighten, and all in a rush he was aware of
Ray in a way he never had been before: the feel of Ray's suit under his
hands, the way his skin and hair smelled, the... No. Fraser pushed himself
away, breathing heavily. 

Ray had been having the same sensations: touch, feel, smell... No, no, no.
The minute Fraser pushed against him, he let go. This was not good.
Definitely not. One was not supposed to be aware of one's best friend this
way. "Oh, G-d." He didn't realise he'd said it aloud until Fraser spoke. 

"Ray?" 

"I think we're having a problem here, Benny." 

"I know." Fraser's voice was so low that Ray almost didn't hear him. "I
don't think this is appropriate." 

Ray didn't think it was appropriate either, but some part of him was
yelling at him to ignore how inappropriate it was to suddenly be attracted
to one's best friend. And at the same time he realised that now that they
were not sharing body heat, he was getting very cold again. "Benny... this
may be inappropriate, but we might freeze to death. I'm shivering here." 

"Oh, I'm sorry!" Fraser's arms went around him again, and this time Ray
turned, fully returning the embrace. He told himself that it was to
conserve all the body heat they could, but that little voice, the one that
liked yelling at him, told him something else. It was no longer half a
hug, or an odd hug, it was a complete one, a real embrace. And, heaven
help him, he liked it. 

So did Fraser, who knew he had capitulated far too quickly. He had *liked*
holding Ray, and had liked being held by Ray. 

And as the pair each felt strong arms enfolding them, they knew that
*something* was inevitable. Somehow, it no longer mattered that this
wasn't appropriate. All that mattered was that they were here together,
and had discovered this... feeling. Of their own volition, their heads
turned until their lips met. 

A kiss: uncertain at first, and then more certain, more... desperate. Ray
wasn't even sure that this was happening, but Fraser's tongue was suddenly
in his mouth, sharing heat again - and what heat! - and he knew then that
it most definitely *was* happening, and that he didn't want it to stop.
With that decision, he returned the kiss with all his might, sliding his
own tongue into his friend's mouth, tasting him, feeling him, wanting
him... And he *did* want him. He knew that Fraser could tell, because all
of a sudden, one of Fraser's arms was no longer around him; his hand
covering the evidence of Ray's attraction to him... and Ray gave in to his
own curiosity: he wanted to see if Fraser really wanted him, too. Taking
his mouth from his friend's, he slid his hand down the front of Ben's
jacket and over his groin... to discover that the attraction, the wanting,
was mutual. 

And as they sat there in this fashion, Fraser said something that Ray
would never have thought to hear. "I love you, Ray." 

"I love you, too, Benny." It was so easy to say it, once the first barrier
had been crossed. There would be time later to analyze this, to try and
think when this love had happened, but now there was only the moment, and
the need to do something, anything, about their feelings for one another. 

Working solely by touch, Ray began to undo the buckle on Fraser's belt...
when his friend did the same to his, unzipped his pants faster than you
could imagine, and touched his erection, sliding his fingers around it,
around *him*. The hand didn't move, however, merely waited while Ray
fiddled with the catches on Ben's pants. "What the hell kind of pants are
these, Benny? Do all Mounties have them to guard against obsessed women?" 

Fraser had amusement in his voice. "Regulation uniform, Ray. Let me." 

The hand was gone from inside Ray's underwear as Fraser undid the catches
on his own clothing. Then the hand felt for Ray's and put it where Ray had
been trying to get it all along... 

On Benny. He was touching his friend in the most intimate way possible,
and he still could not believe it... not until the touch was duplicated on
his own flesh. 

"Oh, G-d." He said it again as his friend touched him, so softly, so
carefully... He duplicated the touch as best he could, as was rewarded
when Fraser let out a soft moan. "You like that, Benny?" he said,
hoarsely. 

"You know I do, Ray." Silence, and neither moved again. Then Fraser said,
"I wish... there was some other way to do this." 

Ray knew immediately what he meant. Touching was fine, but there were
other ways, better ways... "It's okay," he said. "When we get out of here,
we can explore that." He leaned towards Benny and kissed him again, moving
his hand again, carefully, imitating the way he touched himself. Fraser
let him go, let himself experience every sensation as Ray's hand touched
and caressed him, finally uttering a soft cry as he let *himself* go, and
then warm fluid spilled over Ray's hand. 

The kiss ended and Ray smiled to himself, wondering what his friend's face
had looked like, wishing he could see what he was doing... 

He didn't have time to wonder anything more, as Fraser's hand returned to
touch him again and he became lost in sensation, lost in the amazement of
it, the amazement of Benny being here like this, wanting him and loving
him... "Oh, Benny..." He gave in to it, totally lost. 

When he became aware again, Fraser's hand was intertwined with his own.
"Ray." 

"Benny, that..." 

"Was incredible." 

Ray smiled into the darkness, wishing again that they could see each
other. "You have a gift for understatement, Fraser." 

"I thought you said I talked too much, actually, although..." 

Ray cut him off by kissing him quite thoroughly. "I love you, Benny. I
dunno when it happened, or what this says about me, you or us - actually,
I don't think I care - I just know that I love you." 

"I've loved you since I can remember, Ray. I just wouldn't let myself
notice that fact. Perhaps this was serendipitous." 

"This was *what*?" 

"Serendipity is a happy accident. Perhaps us getting trapped in here was a
good thing." 

"Yeah." Ray reached down and rinsed his hand in the icy water. "We might
never have admitted it otherwise. I dunno about you, but I'm glad we did
admit it." 

"Me too, Ray." Fraser sounded certain, shy, and... something else. 

"What is it, Benny?" 

"I don't want it to end, Ray. I'm afraid that once we get out of here, one
or both of us will decide that the fear of death, of dying in here, pushed
us into something we're not meant to do. I don't want to feel that way." 

"Me neither." Ray sighed. "I want us to be together. In the light of day.
I wanna be able to see you the next time we do this. I can't imagine that
changing." Ray pulled Fraser to him again. "Whaddaya say we lean on the
wall and try to get some sleep?" 

"I don't think sleep is a good idea." 

"Oh, yeah, the cold. Well, if we can't go to sleep, maybe we can sing." 

"No songs. We can never remember the words." That much was true. 

"Then tell me some Inuit stories, Benny." 

"Only if you tell me about your family. I never had one like yours, and
I'd like to hear about them." 

"All right." 

They settled back together, using their voices to inform each other, to
keep each other awake... to remain aware of each other. 

 

Diefenbaker had indeed gone for help. Canadian help - but this time a
slightly more astute Mountie had called the *American* cops. 

"You guys down there?" yelled a voice not long after the pair had begun to
doubt that they would be able to stay awake for much longer. 

"Yeah!" Ray shouted. "We're here!" 

Flashlights pierced the gloom, and finally picked them out, sitting
together in what could roughly be called a 'corner', away from most of the
water. 

"You okay?" That was Huey. 

"Yeah, can you get us outta here?" 

"Sure, we're getting some equipment now." 

"If I may ask... how did you find us?" 

"Your wolf," said Huey. 

"Diefenbaker came to you for help?" Fraser squinted up into the light. 

"No, he went to the Consulate. Some new guy there called us. Then the wolf
showed us here." 

"Wait, wait," said Ray. "You actually followed the *wolf*?" 

"Yeah, Vecchio, he's one member of the force I find reliable." 

"Har de har har," said Ray, trying to think of an appropriate insult, but
then the equipment was set up and ropes were lowered and they could get
out of there. 

"Geez, you guys are a mess!" said Elaine when they got back to the
precinct. And she was right. For once even Fraser looked slightly rumpled,
wet, dirty and icky. 

"Yeah, well, you try getting thrown into a cave and sitting in pitch
blackness in freezing water for almost seven hours, see what it does for
your disposition and appearance, Elaine." 

"Okay, gee, no need to jump on me." 

The pair had just been debriefed in the Lieutenant's office. Things had
gone well, all things considered. Ray still had his badge, Fraser hadn't
had to correct one thing he said, and they even had an ID and APB out on
the suspect. Ray had wanted to rush straight back 'out there' and catch
the guy himself, but Welsh had ordered him to, quote, "Go home, get
cleaned up, and don't come back until you've had twenty hours sleep." As
an afterthought he'd given the same instruction to Fraser, who had merely
said, "Understood." 

Now Ray was telling this to Elaine. 

"And do you plan on getting that much sleep?" 

Ray actually hadn't been thinking of sleep at all, but he didn't say this
to her. "Well, bed doesn't seem like a bad idea right about now," he said,
to see what Fraser would do. 

But the Mountie kept a neutral expression the whole time. 

Elaine smiled at them. "Good. You look like you need to be run through a
car wash. Sleep would definitely improve your... disposition," she said,
her tone indicating that very little else would be able to do it. 

"Come on, Benny," said Ray, turning to lead the way. "You heard the lady."


They left the office. "Ray..." 

"Yeah, Benny?" 

"Do you really intend to do as Lieutenant Welsh ordered?" 

"What, get some sleep?" 

"No, go off duty and not chase this guy down." 

Ray knew that this was extremely uncharacteristic behaviour for him, but
he didn't care. He had something else on his mind besides the suspect
right now, only he didn't want to say anything in the precinct. 

Once they were in the car it was better. Now they could actually look at
one another clearly. He turned to Fraser. "They'll get him, Benny. I had
something else in mind for these off-hours." 

Fraser looked away, not letting Ray see what was in his eyes. 

"Benny?" 

When Fraser looked back the intensity of emotion he saw there shocked the
detective. He saw... love. And desire... passion. It was too much. This
time Ray was the one to look away. 

"I thought you would change your mind," said Ray in a low voice, but when
he looked back those same emotions were in his own eyes. 

"I wouldn't change my mind, Ray," said Fraser. "I was scared you'd change
yours." 

"Never." With that single word, Ray started the car so they could just get
*going*, get to where they had to go as fast as possible. 

While he drove, Ray figured now would be the best time for revelations.
"Benny... you should know I've never... you know." 

"Know what, Ray?" 

Sometimes Fraser could be so... *Fraser*. It made Ray want to strangle
him. Or maybe kiss him until he shut up. Something. "Had sex with a guy,
all right?!" he yelled. Luckily they were in traffic and the windows were
closed. 

"Neither have I, Ray." 

Ray had kinda figured that. "Oh, boy. This is gonna be..." He looked at
Fraser and started laughing. Somehow the situation seemed rather
ridiculous. 

"Educational," supplied Benny, and smiled at him with such love on his
face that Ray almost crashed the car. 

"Yeah. Real educational. You did at least read books on this in your
grandparents' library, didn't you?" 

"Unfortunately not. But when dealing with criminals and people from all
walks of life, one has to learn about certain things. I'm sure we will
figure things out." 

Ray just shook his head. 

They pulled up at Fraser's apartment, and Ray looked at it, seemingly
dazed. "Ray?" 

"I don't know what made me drive here," Ray said. 

"I do." 

"You do? What?" 

"Your family members aren't here, Ray." 

"Good point." 

They got out of the car, Diefenbaker following them. 

As they walked inside and up the stairs, each man felt apprehension...
even a little fear... desire, maybe... One barrier had been crossed
already - but they had been cold, and frightened, and had not been able to
see a thing. This time they would see, and it was a little scary. 

As they stepped into the apartment and Fraser closed the door behind them,
Ray turned to him. "We are kinda icky. Wanna break the ice by taking a
shower?" 

"That sounds good, Ray," said the Mountie. "You do realise that sometimes
the hot water in this building is not very reliable?" 

When Ray looked at Fraser, though, he wondered if he'd even notice what
temperature the water was. "Benny, I really don't care, do you?" 

"No." Fraser began to undo his uniform. As each piece came off, Ray just
stood there staring. His friend was, to put it succinctly, gorgeous. Each
and every part of him was beautiful, and Ray would be hard pressed to say
exactly which part was perfect. All of Benny was - but Ray had known he
would be. He felt desire, pure and simple desire, rush through him. The
thought of touching that perfect body, of being touched *by* that perfect
body, now that there were no barriers, was almost too much to take. He
looked away. 

"Ray, do you intend to shower with your clothes on?" 

"What?" The detective realised that he was still fully clothed. "Oh! No."
He pulled off his suit and other clothing as fast as he could without
tearing anything, and without looking at Benny. But Benny would still know
what he felt - his desire was obvious. 

Yes, it was, and as Fraser watched his friend, he was amazed that Ray
could want him. He knew that - according to numerous women - he was
supposedly handsome, but he also knew that most women wanted to protect
him, to comfort him... obviously, to have sex with him. But the comforting
came first. Well, at least he could be sure he wasn't arousing *Ray's*
maternal instincts - only Ray himself. He wanted to touch Ray, and be
touched, and know that here was someone who loved him for who he *was*,
not what he represented, or because of some misguided need to protect him.


Fraser realised Ray was looking at him. "Admiring the view, Benny?" 

"Actually, yes, Ray." 

"Oh, come on," said Ray in sudden exasperation, and headed into the
bathroom. He turned on the water - which warmed up quite nicely - and then
turned to his friend. "Fraser, is this a shower, or a... *shower*?" 

"Well, technically it could be used as a bath as well, of course, but
since you turned on the..." 

Normally Ray would have started ranting about how Fraser could never stay
on topic - but now he knew it was something he loved about him. "Benny,
just shut up and come here!" He wrapped his arms around Fraser and kissed
him for all he was worth, pulling their bodies together, feeling Fraser's
erection against his own. When he finally let go, they were both breathing
hard. "I meant, are we only going in there to get *clean*?" 

Fraser stared at him. "Oh." A pause. Then, "Oh." 

"Come on, Fraser, you can't be telling me you've never done it in the
shower before!" 

"Actually, Ray, I prefer beds for this kind of activity." 

"Is that a no?" 

"Yes. I mean, yes, it's a no. I mean..." 

"I get it." Ray stepped into the shower. "Come here." He held out his
hand, and Fraser took it and joined him. "I do think we need to get
cleaned up first, though," said Ray. There was grime all over them both. 

"Good idea." 

It didn't take long to wash all the dirt and ickiness off, but as soon as
that was done, Ray turned to Benny, soap still all over his hands, and
kissed him, sliding his hands around his friend, feeling his skin - all
slippery and warm, all *his*. Eventually they parted for breath. "Oh,
Benny, I want you. And not like last time." 

"I should hope not," said Fraser, pulling him back for another kiss. Then
he looked at Ray very seriously. "How do you want me, Ray?" 

"How -- " began Ray, thinking. This was all new to him, but he knew how.
He just didn't know if Benny would agree. "I..." He swallowed. "I want to
make love to you." 

Fraser frowned. "How?" 

"Bennnnyy..." complained Ray. Was he going to have to say it bluntly? How
was it he could *do* it, but he couldn't bring himself to *say* it? "You
know, I want *you*. To be *inside* you. You know." 

Comprehension dawned. "Oh." Another pause. "Very well." Fraser still
looked confused. 

"WHAT?!" yelled Ray. He couldn't help it. Strangely enough, Fraser smiled
at that. 

"That's one thing I love about you, Ray. Your volatile nature." 

"Gee, thanks. Why are you looking all confused?" 

Benny swallowed. Several times. He was not used to this. With women you
simply *did* it. You didn't have to ask questions - well, not much - and
things promptly progressed. Well, usually. Well, at least some of the
time. Well... Benny realised from the look on Ray's face that he was
probably rambling to himself. He swallowed again. "Don't you need...
uh..." 

Ray grinned broadly, quite enjoying his friend's dilemma. He knew what
Fraser was trying to ask, but he wasn't going to help him out. Benny
looked *so* downtrodden, however, that eventually he had to. 

"Yeah, Benny, so I've heard. Well, you got any?" 

Fraser looked scandalized. "No, Ray." 

"'Course not." Ray started laughing openly. By the time they finished this
conversation neither would want to do anything. "Okay, how about a
substitute?" 

Fraser only pointed at the medicine cabinet, so Ray reached over and
opened it. "*Baby* oil? What do you need this for, Benny? Or does the wolf
get sore paws or something?" 

"I think Patti or Sarah left it here." 

"Right." Ray put it down. "Come here." He pulled Fraser to him again,
kissing him quite thoroughly. The water had long ago gone cold, but
exactly as predicted, neither man noticed. When he could tear his mouth
away from his friend's, Ray breathed, "I love you, Benny." He fumbled
until he got hold of the bottle, and opened it. "I love you so much." 

"I know, Ray. And I love you." 

"Turn around." 

Benny turned around and braced himself against the wall. "Is this all
right, Ray?" 

"Yeah. Hang on." Ray poured the oil all over his hands, and smoothed it
into Benny, being extra careful when he heard his friend's sharp intake of
breath. "You okay?" he asked. 

"I'm..." Fraser sounded as though he might hyperventilate, but then his
breathing steadied. "Fine, Ray." 

Ray kissed the back of Fraser's neck. "You sure, Benny?" 

Fraser turned himself around as much as he could and kissed Ray so
thoroughly that Ray had no chance to doubt him. "Yes." 

"All right." Ray poured more oil over himself and moved up against his
friend, pressing himself forward as slowly as he could. He was almost
ready to give up when suddenly he was inside his friend, and Benny was
around him, and it was done. He began to move slowly, at the same time
reaching around to touch Benny, but Fraser hoarsely mumbled, "No." 

Ray stopped dead still, worried. "What?" 

"Don't... don't touch me like that." 

"But, Benny..." 

Fraser craned his neck to look at him. "I want to know, Ray. I want to
know how it feels without... distractions." 

Ray let go with some regret. "Okay." Pause. "Benny, you okay? Really?" 

"Yes." Fraser faced the wall again, moving slightly, encouraging Ray to
move. 

And so Ray did move. Still carefully, he moved against Benny and inside
him, faster now, feeling the edge approaching, wanting it, kissing every
part of Benny that he could reach... "Oh, G-d..." Collapsing against
Benny's back as he reached completion. 

For a moment they just stood there, and gradually Ray realised that the
water was freezing cold, and that poor Benny was standing in a most
awkward position indeed. He moved away, turning the water off. 

Fraser turned around and wrapped his arms around Ray. "Ray." That was all
he said. 

Suddenly Ray felt he had to get Fraser out of this shower and somewhere
warm. Brilliant, Vecchio. Almost freeze to death in a dark cave, then come
back here and almost freeze to death in the shower. But Benny's flesh was
not cold, and neither was his. "Towel." Ray snagged one and ran it first
over Fraser, then over himself. 

Fraser said nothing through all this, he just stood there looking...
stunned. Happy. In love. Ray smiled up at him from where he was kneeling,
drying their feet. "Wanna tell me what's going on in that hatless head of
yours?" 

"That I love you, Ray. That your pleasure was mine. That I would... like
to know how it feels from the other side." This last was said shyly, as if
Fraser was too embarrassed to say what he wanted. 

Ray stood up. "I'm sure that can be arranged." 

"Come." Fraser moved toward the bed, holding out his hand. "I'm tired,
Ray. I'm so tired. I want to hold you. I want you to hold me." 

They stood next to the bed. "What about..." began Ray, but Fraser kissed
him - almost a chaste kiss, a goodnight kiss. 

"Later, Ray. I need sleep and so do you." 

"True." 

They got into the bed and lay holding each other - out of choice, even
though the bed was rather small and not too comfortable. They were almost
asleep when Ray whispered, "Benny?" 

"Yes, Ray?" 

"Did we close the door of the bathroom when we were... you know?" 

"I don't remember." 

"Geez, I hope so." 

"Why?" 

"I'd hate to think that the wolf watched us." 

Fraser fell asleep smiling. 

 

As could easily have been surmised, Ray didn't check in the next day.
Welsh realised it was because he had ordered Ray to go home for at least
twenty hours, but he'd expected Ray to come rushing in here asking if
their suspect had been caught yet. Which he had. And when Ray *didn't*
come rushing down to the precinct, Welsh was worried. Was Vecchio actually
*obeying* an order for once? He had Elaine try Vecchio's cell phone, but
it was turned off - a big no-no. Elaine also tried Vecchio's house - no go
there. Elaine tried Fraser's neighbour, Mr Mustafi, but there was no
answer. 

"Elaine, I know this is above and beyond the call of duty, but..." 

Elaine knew what came next. "I have to find our missing detective." She
turned, paused. "You do know, Sir, that you *ordered* him to have a rest?"


"Yeah, but the suspect's been caught. The sooner we can process this guy
the better. He can go back to his vacation when that's done. So find him."


Elaine nodded. 

Ray came awake slowly, with a feeling of intense happiness. At first he
couldn't remember what had caused it, but then he felt the warm body next
to his, and smiled. Benny. He was in bed with Benny. Benny, who was still
fast asleep. He heard a whine and looked down, to find Diefenbaker staring
up at him. He mouthed, "Morning, Dief," at the wolf and patted him, not
making a sound. Dief couldn't hear anyway. Satisfied, Dief gave his hand a
quick lick, and lay down on the other side of the room. 

Ray just lay there and watched Benny sleep. It was a beautiful sight
indeed. He wondered how Benny would take to being woken with a kiss.
Really, Vecchio, why not just buy roses? 

But Ray did it anyway. Leaned down and kissed his sleeping friend. At
first there was no response, and then Fraser woke and began kissing him
back... All of a sudden Fraser grabbed him by the shoulders, and rolled
right on top of him. 

"Geez, Fraser!" said Ray, laughing. 

"Good morning, Ray." 

Ray looked up into those blue, blue eyes. "Good morning yourself. I was
trying to surprise you, but I guess it was your turn." He could feel
Fraser's body pressing down on his. It was a good, warm, *safe* feeling,
and he liked it. He lifted his head from the pillow to kiss Benny when
there was suddenly a noise at the door. 

Elaine stood there, looking... 'shocked' hardly described it. "Er..." was
all she seemed to be able to get out. 

Neither Ray nor Fraser knew whether to move or stay in this position,
or... Finally, Dief decided the issue by jumping up and greeting Elaine.
Fraser moved away from Ray, and they both grabbed the sheet. 

Caught. Well and truly caught. No clothes on, in the bed, the whole bit.
There could be no, "We were so tired we fell asleep," stuff. 

Elaine was paying far more attention to Dief than she normally did. Ray
knew why - she was afraid to look up. Finally, she did. 

The pair were clutching the sheet to them so tightly it looked as though
it might tear any second. And this struck Elaine as funny. She began to
laugh. 

At *this*, Ray found his voice again. "Elaine, what's so funny?" 

Elaine managed to get herself under control. "I dunno. That pose. 'Help,
there's a woman in my apartment!'" She started giggling in earnest now. 

"Elaine..." said Ray in exasperation. 

To her credit, Elaine managed to stop laughing. "Sorry." She took in the
scene again. On what had gone on, what would go on, she had no comment.
She'd have to think about it - right now she had a message to deliver.
"The lieutenant wants you down at the precinct. They caught the guy." 

"Now?" 

"Yeah, now. You turned your phone off." 

"No, I didn't..." began Ray. Then he remembered discarding it along with
his clothes. Maybe he'd done it accidentally. "Well, I might have." 

Elaine looked pointedly at them both. "So?" 

For once in his life, Ray didn't want to go and finish something. He
didn't want to see the suspect, he didn't want to go to the precinct.
Although, perhaps he should actually thank the guy... Nah. He sat up
slightly. "You couldn't find me, Elaine. I wasn't here. I'm at a hotel
somewhere resting like Welsh said. Okay?" 

Ray could see the indecision flit across Elaine's face. But he knew if she
agreed to this, he and Benny were safe. Of course, he didn't count on
Benny interrupting. "Maybe you should go, Ray. I mean, Elaine *did* find
you." 

"No, she didn't, Benny." Ray looked hopefully at Elaine. 

Elaine could not believe she was doing this. She sighed and squared her
shoulders. "All right. I couldn't find you." She turned to go. "You owe me
big, Vecchio." 

"I know." Ray gave her his patented 'you're a star' smile. 

When Elaine had left, Fraser turned to Ray. "Save it, Benny. I needed to
see if she'd make us go, or leave us here like this. I got my answer." 

"Why?" 

"Because I don't think the Chicago PD would look too favourably on this." 

Fraser nodded. "You're right." 

"So, since Elaine agreed to this, we know she won't turn us in. See?" 

"Yes." 

Ray reached out, pulling Fraser back to where he'd been. "Now, where were
we?" 

"I believe we were... right here, Ray," said Fraser, leaning down to give
Ray a kiss. Their mouths meshed together perfectly, all warmth and heat
and... wanting. Ray remembered that Fraser wanted to know... wanted to
know what it would be like. And now seemed like a good time. He managed to
negotiate a small space between them. 

"Benny..." It was hard to talk. "I think it's your turn." 

"What?" The face above Ray's looked puzzled. 

"Make love to me, Benny." 

The face above his showed comprehension. "Ray... that's the second time
you've said that. This isn't a game. There are no scorecards. No 'turns'.
Let's just give each other what we can, all right?" 

"I want this for you, Benny. More than anything. I want you to know." He
reached between them to touch Benny, finding him more than ready for what
they both wanted. 

Fraser's breathing became ragged. "But do you want it for *you*?" He moved
to the side, the only way to get away from that insistent touch. If Ray
kept it up... 

"Yeah, Benny," Ray said, removing his hand. "I want it for both of us. We
need to know." 

"Then I can say it, Ray." 

"What?" 

"I want you." That was an expression he'd just recently learned. 

"Be more specific," Ray dared him, trying not to grin. 

"I want to make love to you." Pause. "Is that all right?" 

Ray put a hand behind Fraser's neck and kissed him thoroughly. "It's more
than all right, Benny. But *you* are getting the baby oil from the
bathroom." 

Fraser obeyed, thinking how sensitive to cold all these Americans were.
"Now what?" The utter innocence in that tone almost sent Ray right over
the edge right then. He turned away from Benny, lying on his side. He
could feel as Benny got back into the bed with him, still holding the oil
bottle. As if musing to himself, Fraser said, "This is going to make a
mess." 

"I'll help you clean up, okay?" 

Fraser nodded, even though Ray couldn't see that. "Understood." Also
working carefully, he poured the oil into his hands, and then maneuvered
his fingers into his friend, going very slowly. Slow was important this
first time, he knew. Ray lay as still as possible, finding the
sensations... odd, but not unpleasant. Finally Fraser removed his hand and
poured more oil into it, spreading it over himself. Then he lay spoon-wise
behind Ray, moving into position. 

Ray waited, but nothing happened. "What, did you fall asleep?" he teased. 

Fraser hesitated. "I don't want to hurt you." 

"Fraser, are you telling me *I* hurt *you* yesterday?" 

"No. The experience was..." 

"Yeah, so shut up and do it." 

"Yes, Ray." Fraser moved so suddenly that Ray let out a gasp of surprise,
but it worked. Their bodies were joined. Fraser was inside him, but he
didn't move right away. "Ray, do you want..." He trailed off, merely
moving a hand around to the front, grasping his friend's erection. "Yes?"
he asked. 

"Yeah," mumbled Ray. "Benny..." 

And then, finally, Fraser began moving, slowly at first, and then more
quickly, attempting to keep the same rhythm with his hand. As he became
lost in sensation, however, he couldn't, and had to let go briefly, saying
Ray's name over and over as the orgasm took him. 

Ray felt it all as it happened, and smiled to himself. Benny loved him.
When Benny seemed coherent again he whispered, "Well?" 

"I'm sorry, Ray." The hand began to move again, slowly at first and then
more quickly. 

"Don't..." Ray had to stop to take a ragged breath. "Don't be sorry,
you... Oh, G-d, Fraser..." Then he couldn't talk anymore as everything
turned upside-down and inside-out and he almost passed out. 

He came back to himself again when he felt their bodies disengage. He
reached a hand behind him to stop Benny from leaving, but Benny wasn't
trying to leave. All he did was pull the sheet and blanket into place and
then lay up against him, sighing softly. 

Ray wanted to say something, to ask Benny about all this, but they truly
hadn't gotten enough sleep, and so they both drifted off, quite content. 

The ringing of his cell phone woke Ray much, much later. He sat bolt
upright in bed, realising that the comforting warmth next to him was gone.
"Benny?" 

"It's on the nightstand, Ray," came Fraser's voice as he emerged from the
kitchen area wearing only his boxer shorts. 

Ray grabbed the phone. "Vecchio." 

"Do you know you are two hours late, Detective?" came his boss's voice. 

"Uh, no, Sir, I was not aware of that." 

"I'm sure. Where are you?" 

"I decided to take your advice, Sir. I checked into a hotel." 

"Great. One day when we need you to come in early, you decide to take my
advice." 

"Sir?" 

"We caught your suspect. The sooner you come in, the sooner we can process
this guy." 

"Fine, Sir. I'm on my way." 

Ray put the phone down and looked over at Fraser, standing there holding a
pan containing... eggs? "You cooked." It was a statement. 

"I have to, Ray. I live alone. My salary isn't such that I can afford to
eat out each night. Furthermore..." 

"Fraser." 

"Yes, Ray." 

"Shut up and kiss me." 

"Understood." Fraser put the pan on the table and walked forward, leaning
down to kiss his friend. "Good morning. Actually, it's more like 'good
evening'." 

"Who cares? I'm starved. Let's eat." He got out of bed and pulled his own
underwear on. 

"Didn't you say you were on your way?" Benny asked him. 

"Are you kidding? They know me. I've got half an hour here." 

"Ah." 

They ate in silence, neither feeling the need to say anything right at the
moment. But when they were finished, Ray realised something. "Damn.
What'll I wear? All my clothes are over at my house." 

"I have..." began Fraser, but Ray interrupted. 

"I don't want to look like I came out of the Territories yesterday,
Fraser. And besides, we're not the same size." 

Fraser merely studied him, waiting for him to realise the obvious: either
he wore Fraser's clothes or he'd be down at the precinct naked. 

"Geez, all right. Gimme. Nothing too garish. No flannel shirts, okay." 

Fraser handed him jeans and a denim shirt, having put on another pair of
jeans and a plaid shirt. Ray put on the strange clothes, feeling silly.
"Maybe I can go home and change first..." he mused. Just then, the cell
phone rang again. 

"Yeah, what?" 

It was Elaine. "Ray, Welsh is not in a good mood. Are you still..." She
lowered her voice so much that Ray couldn't hear. 

"What, Elaine?" 

"Are you still at *the hotel*?" 

Oh. "Yeah, I'm leaving now. I may need to go to my house and change
clothes..." 

"I wouldn't. He doesn't look too happy." 

"All right, all right, I'll be there right away." Ray looked for somewhere
to put the phone in the outfit he had on. Finally he jammed it into one of
the pockets of the jeans. "They're gonna laugh," he said. 

"I'm sure they won't, Ray." Fraser stood up against him, putting his arms
around him. "You realise I have to come too." 

"Yeah, you can also ID the guy." He smiled to cover the apprehension he
felt. "Just try to control yourself in public, okay." 

Fraser knew what his friend was doing, and only nodded. 

They left Fraser's apartment, Diefenbaker in tow. 

"Vecchio, what are you wearing?" 

Ray made a big show of looking at the clothes he had on. "Ah, nothing,
Sir. Well, that is, I went to the hotel in my work clothes. I didn't have
any others. Fraser lent me these." 

"Nice look." 

"Thank you, Sir." 

"Don't wear it to work again." 

"Understood, Sir. And can I just..." 

"No." Welsh turned to Fraser. "As soon as you ID the guy, you're free to
go." 

"Thank you, Sir." 

Ray was already out of the door when Welsh called Fraser back in.
"Constable... please do not ever let Detective Vecchio wear your clothes
again." 

Fraser was confused. He'd seen other detectives who dressed much worse
than Ray was currently dressed. "Why not, Sir?" 

"People expect certain things from a detective, you see, Constable.
They've learned to expect certain things from Vecchio. If he starts
dressing like that, they'll expect other things." 

"I don't understand, Sir." 

"Ray's clothes suit the kinds of cases he works, see? It takes years to
cultivate an image. That all-American look would ruin it. Understand?" 

"Not really, Sir." 

Welsh sighed. "Dismissed." He supposed the Mountie wouldn't understand.
Dressed that way, Vecchio just looked *too good*. He'd seen it on Elaine's
face when they'd walked in, and all he needed was for women to start
fainting when *Ray* was around. He had enough of that whenever the Mountie
was within range. 

After they had ID'd the suspect, Fraser asked Ray what the lieutenant was
talking about. 

"You got me, Fraser. But he's right about the image thing. This isn't me.
This is you." 

They were in the hallway, and no one was around, so Fraser lowered his
voice a little and said, "You look very handsome, Ray." Welsh would have
been surprised to find that he understood perfectly. 

Ray stopped. Looked around. "Thank you, Fraser. Maybe I can wear your
clothes some more when we're alone." He grinned - he wasn't serious. 

Fraser knew it, but replied anyway. "That would be..." 

"Strange, Benny?" 

"Yes." 

"Yeah, well." Ray leaned forward, but he was stopped by footsteps in the
hall. They jerked apart guiltily, but it was only Elaine. 

"Get the rest of the shift off, Ray?" 

"Yeah. I'm gonna go pick up some clothes and then we're going back to
Fraser's place. Don't tell anybody, okay?" He wished he could lose the
cell phone. 

Elaine looked hurt. "Of course I won't." 

Ray realised he was giving her the wrong impression. "No, no, I don't mean
*that*. I mean, don't tell anybody where I am. At all." 

Some people came into the hall, so Ray steered Elaine into the observation
room. It was empty, since no one was being interrogated in the interview
room. Fraser followed, closing the door. 

"What are you doing?" Elaine demanded. 

"Elaine, I believe Ray is trying to ascertain where you stand on this...
issue." 

"Exactly. Thank you, Benny." 

She looked from one to the other. "Where do I stand? Let's see... I've
helped you out of hundreds of scrapes, ran errands for you, even lied
today. I *never* lie! And you want to know where I stand?" 

"Yes." Fraser again. 

"Okay." She folded her arms. "I never expected this from you, Vecchio. Or
you, Fraser. So that threw me. But... I have no reason to think any less
of you than I already do, or to say anything. Okay?" 

Although he felt there had been a slight insult in there somewhere, Ray
kissed her cheek anyway. "Yeah. Thanks." 

Elaine left, wishing it had been the *Mountie* who'd kissed her. Oh well. 

Fraser and Ray stood there looking at each other. "She's a good person,"
Ray said. 

"Yes, she is," Fraser agreed, taking a step forward. Ray took a step
towards him as well, and they were suddenly locked in a kiss, holding onto
each other for dear life. 

"We're in the precinct," Ray finally said. 

"Right." Fraser stepped back, pulling his shirt straight. 

They left the room, and the building. 

It had been evening when they'd left the precinct, and now it was very
late as the two men lay entwined in Fraser's bed. "We can't do that
again," said Ray. 

Fraser wasn't sure what he meant. "I thought you liked..." 

"No, not *that*. We can't do what we did in the precinct again." 

"I know, Ray." 

"We have to be careful. In some circles these things don't matter, but
among cops they do. Especially in this neighbourhood." 

"I know, Ray." 

"Is that all?" 

"Yes. We'll be careful." 

"Benny..." Ray's voice was uncertain, even though he knew Fraser loved
him. "You don't think this'll get to be too much for you one day? You
won't decide that this was some sort of mistake?" 

"I told you, Ray. Never." 

"Promise me, Benny." It suddenly seemed important. 

Fraser sat up then and looked into Ray's eyes. "I love you, Ray. That will
never change. So if you need a promise, then I promise. I love you, that's
all." 

"Benny, I love you. And I *need* to promise. So, Benny, you have my
promise, too." 

"Thank you, Ray." Ray could see that Benny was sincerely touched. He
reached up and pulled Fraser down. "Kiss me, you fool." 

Then Fraser's lips touched his, and as he let the kiss deepen, Ray knew
that this was one promise they would keep forever. 

THE END