... And Winter Disappeared    ...And Winter Disappeared M/F romance,
rated R/NC-17 - for mature readers only!  

Standard disclaimers: All characters in this story, with the exception of
Nina, are property of the folks who created "dueSouth", and it's their own
fault I'm borrowing them for this little adventure - they made 'em too
durned interesting and down-right fun to ignore! I'm not making any money
off this, Lord knows, and it's all in the name of good clean fun, so I
hope they don't sue me. ; ) 

For anyone who has a problem with the intimate details of sex between two
loving partners, this carries an R/NC-17 rating for m/f, ah, interaction,
as well and a teensy bit of strong language (not much - Fraser wouldn't
let me). Feel free to either delete it now or simply stop before the
second section or so of Part Three, and the second section of Part Four. :
) 

My thanks to the creators of dueSouth for providing such a wonderful
playground, and the actors for such delightful characters. Also, my "Sis",
Monica, for getting me into "dS" again, and Meredith Brooks, Graeme
Revell, and several other artists for giving me such great and
Muse-inspiring music. 

Opinions, feedback and chocolates can be sent to me at LadyWritr@aol.com.
I'd also be happy to provide anyone who wants it with the .wps version of
this piece, with all the pretty fonts. : ) 

Peace!! 

   ...And Winter Disappeared by Mary Grace Macy 

******	Part One: Nina and Benton Blame it on the Mountie. My schedule
changed as soon as he showed up - or *I* showed up, depending on how you
look at it. He was at the Consulate before I moved to this part of town. 

It was mid-November, it was maybe 20 degrees Fahrenheit, and I get to the
office for my first day of work and see this Mountie standing sentry at
the Canadian Consulate, the breath from his mouth making clouds around
him, his face unmoving. And it wasn't from being literally frozen. I
marveled at the sight for a moment, then went in to work. When I came out
for my lunch break four hours later, he was still standing there. I mean,
that's not human! Not just to make a man stand in the freezing cold
Chicago winter air for four hours, but for said man to look perfectly at
ease with it. Simply not human. I told him as much, crossing the street to
say hello and receiving a smile two minutes later when his shift ended and
he could respond. Of course this was after four days of observing and
working up enough courage to actually do it. 

I looked up into the bluest pair of eyes I'd ever seen and smiled, knowing
from observation that his shift ended soon. "You must be freezing!" I said
sympathetically. And received not so much as flicker of response. Right, I
told myself; sentry-duty like the guys at Buckingham Palace. I glanced at
my watch and saw there was a grand total of about two minutes and 3
seconds until his shift ended. I was impressed. 

"Well, I don't know about you," I continued blithely, "but I don't really
think it's the right weather or time for coffee, so how about some hot
chocolate?" Still nothing. "One blink for yes, two blinks for no." There
was a long pause, then, almost as if it was against his will, he blinked.
"Was that a yes blink or a natural blink?" I asked. Nothing, then those
incredible eyes shifted a fraction towards me and I smiled. "I'll take
that to mean it was the former," I chuckled. "Okay! Be right back!" 

I ran across the street to the deli and bought a cup of hot cocoa, with
marshmallows, and then ran back. (Well, I couldn't very well let him
freeze his red-uniform-clad tukus off, now could I? And don't give me that
look! The fact that it's a very nice tukus, whether clad in a red uniform
or not, had nothing to do with it!) 

My timing couldn't have been better if I had tried. He stepped out of
parade rest, took the offered cup with a smile and said, "Thank you
kindly, ma'am." 

I laughed. "I think I'm a little young to be a *ma'am*," I told him,
watching as he blew on the hot liquid and then took a cautious sip. I
could almost see the color returning to his face. "And it's no problem.
I've seen you freezing for four days now; my maternal instincts have been
screaming at me like crazy." 

He smiled, his eyes dancing. "I appreciate it. It is a bit chilly." 

I stared at him. "Chilly?" I echoed in disbelief. "Good lord, you really
are from way up North, aren't you?" 

"Yes, ma' - ah, miss." Then his teeth chattered a bit and a faint flush
rose to his cheeks. 

I laughed, caught by the ridiculousness of it. "Nina," I introduced
myself. "Would you like to go inside?" I raised an eyebrow and added
impishly, "It's a bit chilly out here." 

He chuckled. "Constable Benton Fraser, Royal Canadian Mounted Police," he
returned. "And yes - I do have to sign out." 

I decided then and there to talk to whoever it was who was in charge of
assigning people to four-hour shifts in freezing weather. I followed him
inside the Consulate and waited for him to sign out, then shook my head as
the next unlucky Mountie took his place outside. "Next time I'm bringing
two cups of cocoa," I determined out-loud, not quite aware I had said it
until Benton gave me a strange look. "What?" I asked him as we headed back
outdoors. 

Benton just shook his head and smiled. "Nothing," he answered, holding the
door open for me. I shivered as the cold air hit me. I have never gotten
used to Chicago winters, and I've lived here all my life. "Would you
rather stay indoors?" 

I shook my head, my teeth already chattering. "I'm on my lunch- break. If
I go indoors, it's going to be to that nice deli across the street." I
looked at him and he looked back, both of us a little uncertain. "Ah,
would you like to join me?" 

He smiled. "I would," he said. "If you wouldn't mind." 

I chuckled. "If I minded, I wouldn't have asked," I pointed out. He
blushed again and gave me a slightly sheepish smile. It was replaced by a
courteous one when we got inside the deli and he helped me with my coat,
automatically, as if it were natural. Maybe it was; from what I'd heard
from the deli-owner and a few people at the office, he seemed to be that
kind of guy. Then he took off his own coat, and his Stetson, and I had to
stop myself from gaping. 

I don't know how or why, but somehow I had thought that he seemed so tall
and broad-shouldered because of the coat and hat. It wasn't. He was. His
hair was thick and coal-black, striking contrast to his pale skin with
cold-reddened cheeks and, of course, those so-blue eyes. He was, in a
word, incredible. And sitting there across from me, chafing his hands a
bit to warm them, he seemed a lot more real. I suddenly found myself
wondering just what the hell I was doing. 

*** 

What the hell was I doing? 

I sat across the table from her, and caught her gaze, and I felt as if I
was waking up from a dream. It was a most peculiar sensation, because it
seemed what I was waking to was an even better dream. 

Her cheeks were flushed from the cold air, her eyes deep chocolate brown,
sparkling at me in silent laughter. Brown hair almost as dark as her eyes,
subtly streaked with paler shades (what did Francesca call it? 'Frosting'?
Whatever it was, it looked lovely on her), fell around her face and
shoulders in loose curls, one lock falling halfway into her eyes. I almost
reached out to brush it away before I realized what I was doing, and
firmly settled my hands in my lap. It suddenly hit me that Nina looked a
lot like Victoria, and yet nothing like her at all. I tried to decide why
that was and realized that it was the laughter, the warmth, I saw in her
eyes. I found myself smiling without knowing why. 

And I was still wondering what I was doing. 

I had vaguely noticed her for the past few days, a glimpse now and then
through the crowds, but as soon as I saw her crossing the street towards
me I knew exactly who she was. And when she stopped in front of me,
looking like a china-doll all bundled up in the large black coat, and
smiled, I had to fight incredibly hard not to return the expression.
Harder than when school-children dropped spitballs on my boots or a woman
had to drag her dog away, convincing it in barely enough time that I
wasn't a fire-hydrant. Those occasions were child's-play compared to the
challenge of not responding to her smile. "One blink for yes, two blinks
for no," she had said, and I had almost, *almost!*, laughed. And then,
when she told me her name, the first thought to cross my mind was that
Nina was the most beautiful name I'd ever heard. 

I was glad Ray wasn't here now. He'd be laughing himself to death. 

"So," she said now, her gaze - was I totally misreading? She couldn't
possibly be...shy? And a little nervous? Well, certainly not as nervous as
I was! 

"So," I echoed, wondering what to say. 

Nina laughed suddenly, a ripple of sound that chased away every doubt as
she abruptly said, "How on earth did a Mountie land in Chicago?!" 

*** 

Oh god. *Tell* me I did *not* just say that!! 

*** 

I laughed, taken by surprise and relieved to have been given a guideline
for what to say. It wasn't until much later, when she actually told me,
that I recalled seeing the faint flush that crept up her cheeks after she
said it. Just then, I was too busy telling her *exactly* how I had
'landed' in Chicago. 

Her eyes stayed fixed on my face throughout the story, and she surprised
me again when tears shone in her eyes as I told her about my father's
death. She laid a hand on top of mine on the table. "I'm so sorry," she
said, squeezing my hand, and I was startled, and warmed, by the genuine
sympathy in her eyes. She saw my expression and misread; she frowned and
hastily started to draw her hand away. "I'm sorry," she said softly,
apologizing for her 'lapse', I realized. 

Without thinking, I turned my hand and grabbed hers, stopping her. "No!" I
blurted. "It's not - it's just that - well - I'm not used to - well - that
is -" 

With a slow smile, she rescued me. "To Americans being nice?" she
supplied. 

I blushed, ashamed at my lack of manners. I started to apologize and she
laughed, shaking her head. "I was born and raised in Chicago, I *know* how
rude we can be." 

I smiled. "Not you." 

Nina smiled, that same slow twitch of her lips that made me want to run my
thumb across the perfect bow, feel the softness of that mouth against my
skin... I shook myself. 

"My grandmother was very strict about manners," she continued, and I
focused on her voice, hoping it would let me calm myself. As Ray would put
it, fat chance. I found it as intoxicating as the rest of her and I
wondered if this was a sign that I had been too long without...that. It
was entirely possible; I *was* human after all. 

Before I knew it, an hour and a plate of pasta each had passed. We had
talked about a number of things, from Inuit culture (Ray would undoubtedly
say that was no surprise, given my familiarity with the subject) to the
opera, then Nina glanced at the clock on the wall behind me and her eyes
widened. "Oh, fuck!" she gasped, surprising me. She hadn't seemed the type
to swear. She looked back at me and blushed; apparently I was right. "I'm
late," she explained. 

I frowned and apologized as she hurriedly popped one last piece of pasta
into her mouth and swallowed. I watched her with a faint smile, not even
aware of the expression, thinking how lady-like she was as she dabbed at
her mouth with her napkin and told me that there was nothing to apologize
for. "I had fun," she said, and I stood and went to pull back her chair as
she grabbed her purse. She stood and turned her head toward me with a
brilliant smile as I held up her coat for her to put on. She chuckled.
"You are just too cute," she said, and I felt myself freeze in place as
our eyes met. 

After a long moment, she stepped away from me and buttoned her coat.
"Well," she said, blushing. 

I smiled slightly and nodded. "Well," I repeated. Then I cleared my throat
and made a far safer jump than the one I wanted, which would have been to
kiss her, taste her as deeply as I could, hold her tight against me.
"Thank you again for the cocoa." 

Nina smiled and tossed her hair over her shoulder, adjusting her
purse-strap. "It was my pleasure." Her eyes met mine again and she added
softly, "Maybe we could do this again tomorrow?" 

I nodded slowly, barely believing I was doing it. "I would like that." 

*** 

He said it and I couldn't believe it. 

Hell, I couldn't even *breathe*. 

I forced myself to concentrate enough to get to the door and open it,
knowing I was grinning like an idiot and not caring in the least. ::"I
would like that.":: The words repeated over and over in my head as I
walked back to the office. And the way he had said it - soft, his eyes
shining just as soft... 

It had been the furthest thing from my mind when I crossed the street at
2:58 PM, or when I'd bought the hot chocolate, but I'd managed to make him
like me. I felt like a teenager, thinking that, not a twenty-
seven-year-old architect, but I couldn't help it. He *liked* me! Those
amazing blue eyes were smiling at *me*, telling me he wanted to see me
again. And tomorrow he would... I was suddenly, incredibly happy, more
than I'd been in a long time. The winter wind suddenly didn't seem all
that cold at all. 

   Part Two: Ray, Dief, and Elaine I'm tellin' you, I don't know how he
does it. Not only do women fall over him, but this time, when he decides
to actually catch one of them, who does he pick? A woman who looks *just*
like *Victoria*!! Curly brown hair, slim, big thick-lashed eyes, delicate
nose, gorgeous mouth...I said I didn't *like* Victoria, I never said she
wasn't a pretty lady. No, good ole Victoria was gorgeous - it was her
heart that was all shriveled and ugly. Okay, I admit, I'm not being fair -
to Nina, that is. I mean, she seems like a genuinely nice gal...leave it
to Benny to find her. 

And how does he tell me about her? He doesn't! He just has this far-off
look on his face when I pick him up and gives monosyllabic answers to
anything I say. And when I finally get fed up and ask him what's eating
him, he just smiles this dreamy little smile and says, "Nothing, Ray. I'm
fine." Which for Benny could mean he's pissed or he's ecstatic. This time
I was betting on ecstatic, so, *as a joke*, I say, "So, what's her name?"
And Benny, like he doesn't even realize he's said it, goes, "Nina." 

I almost crashed the Riv, I was so surprised. "Whoa, hold up a second! You
met somebody?!" Benny gives me this little embarrassed 

look, kinda out of the corner of his eye, and shifts in his seat. I
couldn't help myself; I started grinning. "Benny, you sly dog! I thought
you weren't supposed to speak to anyone while you're on sentry duty!" 

"I'm not, Ray," he says. "And I didn't. She came up to me when my shift
was over and gave me a cup of hot chocolate." 

This last part he says with this goofy little smile and I realize that
whoever this chick (oh, give me a break, Elaine! I *know* it's not PC -
are you gonna let me finish this story or not?) is, Benny's already
halfway to being head-over-heels for her. But that's Benny, you know? He
doesn't do anything by half-measures. So I'm sitting there, trying to
drive and interrogate him on this new love-of-his-life and wondering how
the hell the guy can fall in love so fast. And if she feels the same way
and if she's gonna treat him right. Well, I know the answer now, but I
didn't then. And it didn't help that Benny keeps getting that same little
goofy smile for the rest of the day. And then tells me he's having lunch
with her again tomorrow. I mean, he doesn't even know her last name! Not
that this would bother Constable Benton Fraser, RCMP - no, of course not!
This is the man who doesn't have a lock on his apartment door! 

"So you don't even know what she does for a living?" 

Benny just gives me this look, like *What does that have to do with
anything?*, and says, "No, Ray, I don't. But she seems like a very nice
woman." Hopeless. Absolutely hopeless. 

And then I stop by the Consulate early a few days later and actually meet
her and notice a) who she looks like, and b) that she has the nicest smile
I've ever seen. Talk about conflicting impressions! I mean, Victoria had a
*pretty* smile, but it was never a *nice* one. And I'm not even sure who
I'm looking for, until this brown-haired lady comes waltzing across the
street from the deli, stops in front of Benny exactly when his shift ends,
and hands him a Styrofoam cup. And Benny, with that little smile (yeah,
the goofy one), looks down at her and says, "Thank you kindly, Nina." 

At which point I'm trying to decide whether to groan or smile, cause from
the look she's givin' him, she's got it as bad as he does. So Benny
motions me over and introduces us, and Nina turns that smile of hers on
me, and I can practically *feel* the cold air going away. Winter? Where is
it winter? She's smiling and laughing when I say how you could set a watch
by Benny, and goes, "I already do!" And Benny...well, Benny's just looking
at her, the way I remember looking at Angie, and Irene, ya know? Yeah,
that look. I think half the women in the city would have been ready to
kill Nina if they'd seen it... 

Oh god. Ooooh, man...I can't wait to see Frannie's face when she meets
her! 

*** 

I meet her when Ray brings me with him to the Consulate. I don't know who
she is at first, except that she looks like the bitch who almost killed
him. But she projects a completely different attitude, so I wait to see
what she does. She crosses the street, and now I can smell hot chocolate
and a faint perfume on her. I'm instantly interested, especially since
it's the same scent as I've picked up on Benton recently. So this is the
female he's been having lunch with during the day and dreaming about at
night. 

She hands the cocoa to Benton with a smile as he steps out of position,
right on time. They say hello and she smiles at Ray as well. Then Benton
introduces us and she chuckles about Diefenbaker not being a very Inuit
name (tell me about it), then she kneels to say hello - *kneels*, not
bends over as most humans do. Doesn't even try to scratch my head! Just
offers her hand for me to sniff, waiting for my approval. That's the first
mark in her favor; the second is the fact that now I can smell donuts too,
and it's coming from the bag in her hand. Anyone who likes donuts can't be
all bad. Then Benton tells her what I'm probably reacting to when I start
wagging my tail in greeting and Nina laughs and looks me right in the eyes
and says, "Since when are donuts on a wolf's food chain?" 

Since the wolf moved to Chicago, I tell her, and she laughs again and
shakes her head at me. "That's no excuse! You've been hanging around cops
too much," she says, with a look at Ray. 

Did she actually understand me or..? Yes, she did! And she's *teasing*
me?! Oooh, I like this one, Benton, I really do! She opens the bag and
gives Benton a look I recognize, then takes out a powdered sugar donut and
offers it to me. Did I say 'like'? I meant I *love* this one, Benton!! 

She chuckles as I (pardon the expression) wolf down the donut, tells me
next time she's going to bring a roast-beef sandwich, and hands the bag to
Ray with a smile. I look up in time to see the shocked look Ray gives her,
and watch it change to a genuine smile as he opens the bag. I can smell
the chocolate-covered donut with sprinkles and the lightly frosted roll in
there, and I know they're his favorites. Benton must have mentioned them.
I know Ray's wondering if she's trying to impress him, but I think she's
just being nice. "In case you missed breakfast again," she says, and I
believe her. So does Ray, I guess. 

Benton is just smiling, and she turns back to him with an expression just
like his. I know that look and I'm very happy to see it being directed at
this one. If he was a wolf, he'd be nuzzling her and growling at every
other male who looked at her. And she'd be baring her teeth at every
female who did the same. Hopefully at one particular female more than any
other, and oooh, but I wish that would happen! I would really like to see
her tear that one's throat out. And not just because that one hurt me and
this one feeds me...She makes him smile. That's what's best. He doesn't
smile enough; he's been unhappy ever since that other one left, which just
goes to prove humans aren't as clever as they think. I mean, why would he
miss *her*?! If *this* one left, I'd understand it...Hell, *I'd* miss her!


Well, it's about time, that's all I have to say. Of course, it's only been
a few days, so far, but I know what's coming. It's in the air so strong
between them I'm surprised *Ray* doesn't smell it. Of course, knowing
humans in general and Benton in particular, it'll take a while - they have
that whole complicated courtship dance first. 

I swear, sometimes humans can be so silly... 

*** 

So Fraser's seeing someone. It's funny, I thought it would bother me more
than this. Maybe it's because I saw what Victoria put him through...he's
had this look in his eyes for months now, this kind of haunted look. Like
he can't quite get past the pain no matter how hard he tries. Or any of
the rest of us try. It hurt to see that look in his eyes. And now that
look is gone. I noticed it even before Ray told me the story; I knew as
soon as I saw him that he'd met someone and that he was really, truly
happy for the first time in months. I think I could have kissed Nina right
then. 

I feel even more strongly now that they've been seeing each other for a
few days. Just a few days and there's...well, a bounce to his step that
wasn't there before, silly as it sounds. I mean, Fraser's always cheerful,
but now...now he's *happy*. And I know him well enough to know it's not
because he got laid. Not that that won't happen, eventually, somewhere
down the line, even if it makes me smile a little and blush, thinking
about it. I mean, he's a handsome guy and I think he proved with Victoria
that he isn't quite as innocent in *that* way as some people would have
guessed... 

I hope she treats him well. Not that I have any doubts - I mean, Ray's
said that she's obviously as infatuated with Fraser as Fraser is with her.
And coming from Ray, that's a hell of an observation. Plus *he* likes her,
which given her resemblance to Victoria and his feelings about *her*, is
even more of a revelation about Nina's character. It was almost two weeks
before I actually met her, and I'd been hearing stories from Ray *and*
Fraser, and as soon as she walked in I knew they were all true. 

Frannie was there too, which worried me, since there was no way she could
miss this beautiful woman sweeping into the precinct with snow glistening
on her hair, looking like a model, even if she didn't ask for Fraser. With
a big smile on her face. I introduced myself and she said Fraser had
talked about me, which of course made me smile, and then I kind of
nervously punched in the number for Ray's desk, keeping an eye on Frannie,
and hoping I wouldn't have to pull my gun. I watched Frannie slowly come
up to Nina with this kind of predatory look in her eyes, and held my
breath. Then Nina turned around, flashed her a big smile, and said, "You
must be Francesca!" 

Frannie just automatically smiled back. When she realized she'd done that,
she pressed her lips together and said, a little sourly, "Yeah. And you
must be Fraser's new girlfriend." 

Nina just gave her a softer version of that smile and blushed a little. "I
guess so," she said. 

Frannie stared at her for a long time. I mean, you could see from the look
in Nina's eyes that she really, *really*, liked Fraser. Then Frannie just
gave a little sigh and said, "Yeah, well, you treat him right or you'll
have me to deal with." 

Nina smiled at her, chuckling, and said, "You, and Ray, and Diefenbaker,
and probably half the populations of Chicago and the Northwest
Territories." Then her expression changed a little and she said, to both
of us, "I'd never hurt him." 

Frannie studied her face and then smiled. "Good," she said, and launched
into compliments on Nina's coat and earrings. For five minutes. That was
how long it took for Ray and Fraser to get to the reception area. And
then...well, if Nina's affection wasn't obvious to 

Frannie, *Fraser's* was. He saw Nina and his whole face lit up. I had
thought he was handsome before, but now he was ... beyond description.
Love will do that to you, and the same thing happened to Nina. She went
from being a beautiful young woman to being a faery- tale princess. You
could feel the heat between them and they didn't even kiss! They just said
hello, giving each other these really sweet smiles that just made my heart
fill up. No, she's nothing *at all* like Victoria...and I'm happy he found
her. 

   Part Three: Benton and Nina The first time I made love to her, the
world changed. 

We'd gone to see a friend of hers perform at a nightclub, and, listening
to a husky contralto sing love-songs, my hand found hers and I succumbed
to desire and stroked my fingers along the sensitive skin of her palm and
the inside of her wrist. I could feel her pulse speed up as I did it, feel
her shiver delicately as I moved my hand after a long while to the nape of
her neck. I found out she was incredibly sensitive there and watched with
an amused, and excited, smile as her eyes fluttered closed for a moment
and she bit her lower lip. Then she turned her head slightly towards me
and murmured, "If you don't stop that I won't be responsible for the
consequences." 

I smiled and whispered in her ear, "No, I will." 

I traced a pattern on her skin and her hand clenched on my thigh. To have
her touch me was so exciting that I had to stop myself from grabbing her
out of her chair and taking her someplace dark and private. One thing
Victoria had taught me was the value of drawing things out. I didn't
realize until that moment, when I forced myself to stay still, to continue
to draw delicate sworls on her so-sensitive skin, that I was intending to
seduce her. The idea shocked me and thrilled me. I had never thought of
myself as the type of man to plan out a woman's seduction, but as I let my
fingers trail across her shoulder, I realized that we had been heading for
this point for a long time. And we were both enjoying and wanting it. 

I kept my gaze fixed on the singer, not wanting to appear quite that rude.
She *was* very good, as was evidenced by the dramatic increase in our
attentions to one another. For three weeks we had talked and laughed, had
dinner and watched movies, exchanged stories about our pasts. We had
comforted each other over the loss of loved ones, or betrayals that had
torn our hearts apart. We had entwined ourselves about each other's souls,
but we had never taken the final step, beyond a good night kiss. Those few
kisses had been intoxicating on their own, but we had both restrained
ourselves, somehow subconsciously arranging for those nights to be before
work. Avoiding temptation. But not now. Now, we had taken that step, made
that decision, silently, and in unison. And it felt right. 

As I listened to the singer, I continued to caress her neck, and found her
hand tracing echoes of those patterns on my thigh. I changed the pattern,
to be sure, and she did as well, smiling slightly as I glanced at her.
"You touch me, I touch you," she whispered. It was a challenge and an
invitation...I took it. 

*** 

I was slowly going out of my mind. His fingertips brushed my skin, leaving
the nerve-endings on fire, as if his touch were electric. It astonished me
that he was actually touching me that way...seducing me. He'd always been
so proper, even when both our knees were buckling from a 'good-night'
kiss. He'd wanted to wait, even if he hadn't said it aloud, and I had
agreed. But now...now I wanted him so badly it physically hurt. I could
feel myself getting more and more aroused and returned the favor. 

I ran my hand lightly across his thigh, copying the patterns he was
tracing on my neck and shoulder, and surprised myself by challenging him
to do something more daring. *He* surprised me by accepting. His hand
dropped slowly to my back, where the dress was scooped to show skin, then
curved around to my side. If it hadn't felt so incredible, and surprised
me so much, I would have giggled at the slight tickling. My hand froze on
his thigh. He wasn't...was he? 

His hand swept under my arm and smoothed down the side of my breast. I
shivered and closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. Benton leaned in to
breathe into my ear, "I touch you..." 

My heart jumped up another few beats a minute and I nodded slowly. Part of
me was amazed that we were doing this in what was pretty much a public
place, the rest of me didn't care. The backs of the chairs were high
enough to hide us from the people behind us, and the table hid my caresses
from anyone to our sides. So I trailed my hand further up his thigh,
hearing his breath catch as I neared my goal. I went even slower then,
teasing him as he stroked my breast with the backs of his fingers, finally
reaching my destination to be greeted by a hard bulge. I was flattered to
say the least. 

I ran my hand across his crotch, stroking as slowly as he did, and smiled
as a tiny groan escaped him. His hand went down my side and then slid over
my thigh. My breath caught in anticipation, then released in a soft
whimper as his fingers pressed down lightly on my pelvic bone and then
went lower. I echoed his motion automatically, pressed a little harder and
felt his muscles tense. His fingers pressed hard against where layers of
cloth covered my clit, moving down to run over the part of me that was
screaming for him. My inner muscles clenched in response and I cupped him
in my hand and rubbed my thumb in a slow circle. If this went on much
longer, we'd be running for a back- room... 

Benton had the same thought; his hand left me to suddenly grab my wrist. I
looked at him, smiling at the fevered glitter of his eyes, and raised my
eyebrows in question. He glanced at my friend, who was finishing a song,
and I smiled. "I think she'll understand," I murmured as the crowd started
applauding. "After all, it's her own fault - she's too good at those
torch-songs." 

Benton laughed and stood, a bit uneasily, and pulled my chair back for me.
I gave Diane a flicker of a smile and a half-shrug, mouthing the words
'Your fault - you're too good.' She laughed softly, and leaned down to
speak to the pianist. As we made our way to the door of the club, the
first bar of "At Last" started up. Benton and I looked at each other and
grinned. 

*** 

We decided to go to her apartment simply because it was closer. We walked
there, but kept our hands entwined, the contact keeping the cold from
taking any kind of edge off our desire. Not that we should have worried.
As soon as the elevator doors closed in the lobby, I kissed her, and all
sense of propriety nearly vanished. I pulled her close against me, every
line of her body amazingly clear even through the layers of cloth between
us, and I suddenly, very distinctly, did not want *any* cloth between us.
I wanted to feel her skin under my fingers, *needed* to feel her. 

My hands followed the thought without my conscious mind's permission,
pushing up her coat and dress, cupping her thighs and bottom. Stroking,
grabbing, while I tasted her, my mouth on her throat, down to the triangle
of skin revealed as I opened the top of her coat. I ran my tongue along
the line of her collarbone, nipping at the sensitive skin at the side of
her neck, holding her close, wanting her, wanting her to feel how much I
wanted her. 

She let out a little moan, her hands working at the buttons of my coat,
pushing the cloth away from my neck so that she could taste me as well.
The feel of her kissing me like that, the feel of her tongue sliding
against my skin, excited me so much that I was tempted to hit the
emergency stop button and take her right there in the elevator. I dragged
my mouth away from her and pulled away, caught her face in my hands and
kissed her, thrusting my tongue into her mouth, showing her what I
desperately wanted to do with my body. 

She clung to me and responded just as fiercely, her hands sliding down my
back to clench my buttocks, pulling me towards her as she pushed her hips
forward, grinding against me. Exquisite torture, knowing I had to wait
until we got to her apartment. Pulling apart as the elevator doors opened
lest we shock a neighbor...then grabbing one another again when the
hallway showed itself to be clear. Unable to resist, I shoved her up
against the wall by her apartment door, my hands pulling at the buttons of
her coat, then sliding up the fabric of her dress to her breasts, kneading
them as I kissed her, wanting to know the taste of them. 

Somehow she got the keys from her purse and I let her go long enough for
her to turn and undo the lock. I waited while she flipped on the lights,
and found myself pushed up against the door as I closed it. Her hands
caught mine and pressed my arms back against the door as she kissed me,
then moved her mouth down to my collar, biting just on the verge of real
pain. Then she released me, her hands dropping to undo the rest of the
buttons on my coat, then to my belt-buckle when that was accomplished. She
pulled me up against her as she slipped the leather free, kissing me, and
I pushed her coat down her shoulders, moving her backwards down the hall. 

It occurred to me that I'd never been inside her home before, having
always said good-bye at the lobby. Avoiding temptation. I'd often wondered
what it looked like; now I didn't even spare it a glance, except to orient
myself as we headed further inside. We knocked over a lamp and set a few
paintings askew as she guided us towards the bedroom, shedding our clothes
along the way, laughing as we nearly tripped over them on occasion. Until
finally we were in her bedroom, and I saw her beauty in full for the first
time. I paused and looked down at her, admiring, not feeling awkward in
the least as she surveyed me in the same slow way. 

"You're so beautiful," she whispered, and I smiled, my breath catching and
my desire rising sharply as she reached out and ran her hands slowly
across my chest. I don't think I've ever reacted so strongly to a woman's
touch, even with Victoria. It was like she was made of fire, her fingers
leaving trails of tingling heat as they moved across my skin. I watched
her come closer to me, frozen in place as she bent her head forward and
her mouth followed the path of her hands, a brand on my flesh, burning not
nearly hot enough. 

I whispered her name and wrapped a hand in the silken mass of her hair,
cradling her head as her mouth moved to a nipple, consuming it, sending
need arrowing straight into my groin. God, how I wanted her! And yet I
couldn't move, too caught up in the web of sensation her gentle touches
were creating. Not seducing, no. Admiring, exploring,
worshipping...loving. That more than anything made my need for her
unbearable, painful. "Nina," I said again, but this time I was pleading. 

She lifted her head and my hand cupped the back of her head as she tilted
it back to look up at me. Small, so small she was, her head just passing
my shoulder. And yet she was in complete control at that moment. If she
had denied me then, I think I would have died. Instead she smiled and
lifted her hand to stroke my cheek, curving it behind my head as I did
hers, her fingers caressing the nape of my neck as she pulled my head
towards hers. She murmured my name and the spell broke. 

*** 

I looked up at him, running my fingers through that wonderful thick hair,
cropped so short in back, and pulled him down to me. "Benton," I said
softly, kissing him, and his arms wrapped around me almost roughly. Before
I knew it, he had picked me up and in two long strides had reached the bed
and laid me down on it, gently. So gentle, so beautiful, my Benton. It hit
me then that he *was* 'my Benton'. He was going to make love to me, and I
to him, together... Then his mouth touched my skin and I could barely
breathe, let alone think. 

Sweet and soft, but rough at the same time, demanding, and I answered in
the only way I could. My back arched and I pressed up into his mouth,
burning up from his touch, desperately wanting more. He lavished the same
attention on my breasts as I had given his nipples, licking and nipping,
tugging gently with his teeth, bringing broken moans from me at every new
touch. 

One of his hands went behind me to cup my bottom, sliding down to pull my
thigh up against his side, opening me to him, and his other hand slid
between us. I could feel him against me, hard, so hard, and I wanted to
bring him home, into me, where he belonged. His fingers found my core, and
I felt him smile as he felt how wet I was, then he drew that wetness up,
sliding easily against my clit. I let out a low cry, arching my hips up,
wanting more, wanting him, so much it hurt. I whimpered his name as his
fingers stroked hard and slow against me, his other hand on my thigh as I
wrapped my leg over his hips. 

I put my hands on his shoulders, ran them down his back and then up again,
digging my nails in lightly as I did. His rhythm increased, and suddenly a
finger, then two, slid into me and I gasped. He felt so good, and I wanted
more. I needed *more*... "Benton, please!" 

He lifted his head from my breasts and smiled down at me. "Tell me what
you want," he whispered. 

His voice was alive, sliding over my body as surely as his hands had, but
going deeper, touching my soul. I shuddered and my eyes locked with his.
"I want you inside me," I whispered back, unable to make my voice any
louder than that. 

"I am inside you," he answered, smiling, and pushed his fingers hard into
me to prove it. 

I moaned and arched up into him, then slid one hand down his side, to
where I could feel him throbbing against me. "No," I said, and wrapped my
hand around him, "you're not." I smiled up at him and stroked, pressing
hard enough to bring a sharp moan from him. He bit off the sound and
lowered his head to kiss me; I stroked him again, and again, setting up a
rhythm almost steady enough, but not quite. Just like he was doing with
me. 

After a moment, his breath was coming in pants, echoing my own as his
fingers matched my hand's rhythm. I couldn't stand it anymore. I was
close, very close, but I wanted him inside me when I came. I wanted to
feel him, clench around him, have him pound into me as he climaxed... 

Oh *damn*! 

"Wait, wait!" I gasped. He raised his head to frown at me, his breathing
harsh, then understood and nodded, letting me go so that I could run into
the bathroom. I came back with the whole box. "No more side trips," I told
him with a chuckle, and he smiled. 

I tore open the packet and pushed him onto his back on the bed. He leaned
on his elbows to watch me as I laid soft kisses down his belly until I
reached the nest of soft curls at his base. I stroked him gently, laying
an open-mouthed kiss on the tip, my tongue darting out to taste the
moisture there. His breath caught in a groan and I looked at him. His eyes
were bluer than I had ever seen them, shining from wanting me, making my
heart feel like it was about to burst. 

I rolled the condom over him slowly, delighting in the fevered gleam of
his gaze as he watched me, his mouth slightly parted. His tongue darted
out to wet his lips and desire crashed into me as if his hand had never
left me. "Benton," I whispered, sliding back up his body until I could
kiss him. "Now...please..." 

He smiled and wrapped his arms around me, captured my mouth roughly as he
turned us so that his weight settled on top of me....then into me.... 

*** 

So hot and tight. Welcoming me, inviting me, driving me further as she
clenched around me. 

Her name was on my lips, and I kissed her as deeply as I could, trying to
rival my body. Her mouth was as sweet as her soul, her tongue dancing
against mine, her voice whispering my name as I pulled away for a bit to
kiss her shoulder. 

*** 

So hard, so slow and sweet and gentle...Begging him, loving him, needing
him... 

*** 

::Yesss... ::Ooh god....dear god...:: 

*** 

::More. ::Harder. ::Please...:: 

*** 

Moving inside her, held safe in her arms, brought home from exile with
every thrust deep inside her. 

*** 

Filling me and then leaving me empty... 

*** 

Heaven, Valhalla, promises never to be broken... 

*** 

::Oooh god, god, Benton, I love you...:: 

*** 

::My love, my Nina...:: 

*** 

::Yes...harder, yes...*please*...oh please, yes!!:: 

*** 

::Oh god...oh yes...yes, *god* yes!!!:: 

*** 

Again, and again, until we both cried out, our climaxes spilling over on
top of each other... 

*** 

Shaking us loose from reality until we lay shaking in each other's arms,
drifting back slowly to the sound of our heartbeats, sounding like one
heart... 

*** 

And maybe... 

*** 

Maybe... 

*** 

They were. 

   Part Four: Benton, Nina, and "guests" "I don't think I've ever seen a
more glorious sunrise. Well, we didn't see the actual sun, of course,
given that we were in an apartment building, but the windows *did* face
east, so -" 

Sigh. "Son." 

"Right. Sorry, Dad. The point is, it has been a very long time since I've
woken up with a woman in my arms with whom I am - I'm certain of it -
completely in love, and who loved me in return. And whom I didn't have to
worry about turning in to the police." 

Say what? 

"That was a joke, Dad." 

Oh. "Of course it was, son. I knew that." Really, I did. "Speaking of
that, though..." 

"Yes?" 

"Well, you *have* noticed the resemblance?" 

This time *he* sighs. "Of course, Dad. To be perfectly honest it was one
of the first things I noticed, but that's not why I'm in love with her -
or why I was interested in her in the first place. If anything, it should
have made me run." 

"From her or to her?" 

"*Dad!*" 

"It's just that the last time you saw Victoria, Ray had to shoot you to
keep you from going with her." 

"Ray shot me *by accident,* Dad. And that was almost a year ago." 

I stay silent. 

"I'm over her, Dad! And she has nothing to do with why I'm in love with
Nina. She is nothing like Victoria!" 

Sigh. 

"I can't believe you're doing this! I'm truly happy for the first time in
I don't *know* how long and you're trying to make me doubt it!" 

"I can't make you feel anything you don't *already* feel, Ben." 

Blue eyes flash, just like his mother's. "So you're asking if I have
doubts? All right, I admit it: I have doubts! But they're small ones and
most of them disappeared last night!" A little sigh; he looks so young
when he does that, so very young... "I love her, Dad. Whether I was first
attracted to her because she looked like Victoria has nothing to do with
that. She is," he struggles to find the right words; he never was eloquent
when it came to this kind of thing, "warm, and giving, and intelligent.
She makes me laugh, makes me feel like I'm a child again - innocent and
free and...happy, Dad." Quietly, now. "She makes me happy. I didn't think
I could ever find that, not after... I would hope and dream, but I never
really expected it to happen. But it has. With her, because of her." 

His eyes lighten a bit and he smiles, that little half-smile I've only
seen a few times in my life - and death. "When I woke up today," he
continues, "the first thing I was warm...and content...and for a second I
wasn't even aware of why. And then she shifted a little in my arms, and I
looked down at her...and..." He looks at me, with a mixture of surprise
and delight and triumph. "And I knew it was Nina! Not for one moment did I
think it was Victoria, not for even a split second, half- awake. I knew it
was *her*. The smell of her - her shampoo, her perfume, her skin - and the
feel of her in my arms. And it felt...right, Dad. It felt right." 

He smiles, caught up in memory. "I touched her hair, and ran my hand down
her shoulder and arm...her skin is so smooth... and I touched her hand,
curled my fingers between hers...and she woke up and looked at me with
those beautiful, deep, brown eyes...and then she smiled and lifted her
face towards me to kiss me, and -" 

Okay, that's enough! I'm dead, but I'm still his father for heaven's
sake!! "That's nice, son, glad you had a good morning." I start getting
ready to leave and he blinks and looks at me as if he'd forgotten I was
there. Huh. No respect. "I'm, ah -" Damn, but I'm as bad at this as he is.
"I'm happy for you, Benton. I'm very...happy for you...for both of you." 

He smiles, his eyes soft and glowing; just like his mother's. He really is
happy. "Thank you, Dad. I appreciate that." I nod and smile. And then I'm
gone. I have a lunch date with Nina's grandmother at two ... Oh my god ...
I have in-laws again. 

*** 

I can't believe I have in-laws again. I mean, Frank's family was nice
enough but I thought when I died I wouldn't have to deal with them unless
I really wanted to and the living ones aren't the type to see spirits, so
why expend the energy? and the dead ones are...well, they have no sense of
obligation. Go flitting off to the hereafter and their next lives and
leave their kin all by their lonesome. No sense of family. I was born and
raised in a big family, raised one of my own, and I'm not leaving my
grandbabies without some guidance. Not that they ever listen... 

"So does he wear red undies?" 

"*Grandma!!*" She looks so cute when she's indignant. "First off, that's
not any kind of question to be asking me and second, do you think for once
you could appear in *front* of me?!" 

"That wouldn't be any fun," I answer, and survey the bed critically.
"Didn't I teach you to make your bed? I'm turning over in my grave." 

She lets out an explosive sigh. Lord, but this is so much fun! "Grandma,"
she says sweetly, "you don't *have* a grave. You were cremated and your
ashes spread over the lake. If you're doing anything, it's agitating the
fish." 

I raise an eyebrow. "Have some respect - I raised you." 

She sighs and tosses her hair out of her face. "I know. I'm sorry,
Grandma. but - well, I don't like you talking about him like that." 

I smile. It's so sweet I could cry; my grandbaby's all grown up, defending
her man... "I'm sorry, *cara*. You really do love him, don't you?" 

She gives me that little smile that always made my heart light up. "Yes.
Yes, I really do." She sighs and sits on the bed, looking all fresh and a
still a little rumpled in her robe. "He's - he's wonderful, and loving,
and generous, and...I didn't think someone like him existed. To have gone
through what he has, and still be so ... sweet, and innocent, and ..." She
smiles a little, looking up at me, and I sit by her on the bed. "It scares
me sometimes, to tell you the truth. I mean, there aren't supposed to be
men like him in the world. A real-life knight in shining uniform. But
there are, and this one's mine. And I'm happier than I've ever been.
Sometimes I can't believe it's real. Even now, after last night..." 

I smile a little slyly; it's the best way to get her off *that* train of
thought. "So how was he?" 

"Grandma!" 

She blushes and I realize a) it must have been good and b) do I really
want to know? I mean, I'm dead, who am I gonna fool around with? Though
that Vecchio guy does keep making eyes at me...naah. 

"It was...wonderful," she says finally, shyly. "Just wonderful." She
shivers a little and I sigh. My grandbaby is definitely grown up now...and
in love. "And when I woke up...he was stroking my arm, real light, you
know? And then he put his hand in mine, and then I looked up at him and
kissed him and...and then we made love again..." She sighs and looks at
me, smiling. She's got her Daddy's eyes, all wide and brown and sincere.
"I love him so much, Grandma." 

I smile and nod, wanting so much to squeeze her hand. "I know," I tell
her. "And he loves you too." 

A little frown at that. "How do you...Grandma, you weren't...!!" 

"No, I wasn't!" Then. "But I have seen the way he looks at you, *cara*. He
loves you too." She smiles and I stand up. "Well, I'd better be going.
Don't want your Mountie thinking you're talking to yourself." 

"And since when have you worried about someone thinking that?" 

"Since the someone was tall, dark and handsome with big blue eyes. You
take good care of him, *cara*." 

"I will, Grandma." 

"Good, or his wolf might eat you." 

"Grandma!" 

I disappear halfway into the word. God, I love this! 

*** 

I just barely resisted the urge to scream. Barely. Wouldn't do to have
Benton think I'm insane. I sighed and came out of the bedroom to see our
clothes off the floor and neatly piled on the sofa. And standing there in
the middle of my living room, still gloriously bare-chested, was Benton.
My Benton. 

"Thank you, Dad," I hear him say. "I appreciate that." 

I freeze halfway into the room, not sure whether to be worried or
relieved. I mean hell, I talk to my Grandmother and she's been dead for
eight years, why shouldn't Ben talk to his father, who's been dead for
three? I must have made some sound, because Benton turned to me with a
startled, and a bit sheepish, look on his face. Hurriedly, I say, "It's
okay, I understand." 

He blinked and frowned. "You do?" 

I nodded. "I get, ah, guests, every once in a while too. It's nice, isn't
it? To be able to talk to them." 

He smiled slowly. "When they don't have advice." 

I winced dramatically and then laughed. "Eek, no!" 

He laughed also and then came forward, wrapping strong arms around my
waist and leaning down to kiss me softly. Amazing how so chaste a kiss
could make my knees weak. He pulled away after a long moment and gazed
down at me; I felt like I was drowning happily in his eyes. "You are an
amazing woman," he murmured, and then kissed me again. 

I could feel him growing, hardening, against me and my breath caught as
his hands ran up my back to the collar of my robe and pushed the fabric
down. His mouth trailed kisses down my neck to my shoulders and I sighed a
"Yes" into his ear as his hands slid my robe down further. Tongue and
teeth sent electric shivers through me and I stood, trembling, while the
robe slid down to pool at my feet and that wonderful mouth found its way
to my breasts. I ran my fingers across his shoulders, marveling as always
at their breadth and strength, and that he could be so incredibly gentle
when those muscles slid smoothly under my hands. But he was, as he lowered
me slowly to the floor. He stripped off his pants and boxers, then knelt,
pulling the throw-blanket from the couch to make a cushion for me as he
continued his caresses. 

The sunlight made his pale skin glow golden, prism-like patterns shifting
from the sun-catchers I had hung up. I watched them, entranced by the play
of light and color on his back and the blue-black shadows of his hair as
he moved down the length of my body. I arched up as he reached my thighs,
anticipating that warm, hot touch. He chuckled and looked up at me, his
eyes sparkling. "Patience, Nina," he whispered, and lowered his head. 

His tongue darted out, tickling as it slid into and around my belly-
button, and I laughed and tugged playfully at his hair. "Benton!" I
started to admonish him, then froze as teeth nipped at where his tongue
had been. The laugh turned into a moan, electricity shooting through me.
I've been tickled, and kissed and even nipped, but with him it
was...different. His hands slid down my hips and around to my buttocks,
slow, soft, while his mouth continued at my belly. "Benton..." I
whispered, at a loss for anything else to say, only thinking that this was
the most sensual, incredible feeling I'd ever had. I remembered thinking
that last night; things just kept getting better with him. 

Then he slid back up and whispered in my ear, "Turn over." 

The words seemed to arrow straight into my groin; inner muscles clenched
suddenly and I gasped as I complied. I was trembling, knowing what was
coming and wanting it so badly I thought I would die if he didn't hurry.
But he didn't. He kissed his way down my back, his tongue flicking out to
trace slow, delicate patterns, until I thought I'd go crazy. It suddenly
occurred to me that the box of condoms was in the bedroom and I groaned in
frustration. I didn't want him to stop for even that long. I said his name
and he caught the note in it and laughed. 

I turned my head to frown at him and saw him reaching for his pants to
withdraw his wallet. I stared as he took a packet out of the billfold.
"Always be prepared," he said with a smile. 

I raised an eyebrow. "Is that standard issue for Mounties?" 

His eyes twinkled and for once he didn't take me too seriously. "Only," he
said softly, and I realized that *he*, at least, *was* serious, "when
they're seeing a beautiful woman they've dreamed of making love to since
the first day they met." 

I stared at him and then smiled, feeling tears prick at my eyes. "Benton,"
I whispered, and sat up. I sat back on my heels and reached for him,
pulling his head to me for a deep kiss. When I finally pulled away, I let
my hand drop to his thigh, sliding slowly across his bare skin. I felt him
harden even more against my hips, his eyes heavy-lidded from the kiss and
my touch. "Then make love to me, Ben. Now. Please." 

He smiled and curved his arms around my waist, leaning forward so that I
was pushed back down. His hands slid to my hips and then thighs, pushing
my legs further apart. It felt like forever as I listened to the packet
being torn open. I imagined the condom sliding onto him and shuddered. I
wanted him inside me so badly... Then his hands were back on my hips,
pulling me back...onto him... I moaned and felt myself invaded, again, and
again. Slowly speeding up, coming into me faster, harder, his breath warm
in my ear as he curved his body over mine. He said my name and I cried out
as his body slammed into me. Over, and over, and over, notching the
tension tighter and tighter, but not giving me release. And then suddenly
the hand that had cupped my breast as he moved slid down, down between my
legs, touching me where we were joined. His thumb slid against my clit,
hard, fast, and I almost screamed at the intensity of it. A finger joined
it, sliding hot, and hard, while he thrust... 

Harder... 

Faster... 

More... 

*Yes*..... 

Until I felt like I was going to split into two, each stroke seeming to go
deeper, the feeling more and more intense...and I exploded around him, his
name tearing out of my in a scream of soul-wrenching ecstasy. I felt him
climax, pounding into me as his body pulsed, our souls merging as our
bodies had. One arm was still wrapped about my waist and he pulled me with
him as he slid out of me and lowered us onto our sides, both of us
shaking. His chest heaved against me, his breath cooling the sweat on my
neck as he pressed his face into my shoulder. 

He whispered, "Nina...I love you." 

My breath caught and I turned in his arms so I could look at him. I caught
his face in my hands and kissed his mouth, his cheeks, and eyes and nose,
then back to his mouth. "I love you too, Benton," I told him, my heart
soaring. "I love you too." 

Benton smiled slowly, his eyes glowing, and kissed me back. 

It was noon by the time we got around to breakfast. 

Blame it on the Mountie. 

THE END.