Face Off  

 m/f sexual situation 

 Face Off 

 Rated PG 

 by Arlene Pon 

 Detective Ray Vecchio strode into R.C.M.P. Constable Benton Fraser's
office in the Canadian Consulate. "Yo, Benny!" he called. "You ready for
lunch? I got an hour. Let's go already!" 

 The Constable looked up from his desk. "I'm sorry Ray, but I will have to
postpone our luncheon. Inspector Thatcher needs this done by tonight." 

 "Yeah? It's so important you gotta skip lunch for it?" 

 "I'm afraid so, Ray. These are the name cards for tomorrow's dinner party
in honor of certain visiting Canadian officials." 

 "What?!" Ray exclaimed. "The Dragon Lady's making you skip eating cuz of
some stupid name tags? That's it! If you can't stand up to that broad for
your rights, then I will!" 

 "They're not tags, Ray. They're cards." Ben replied to the detective's
retreating back. "And by calling the Inspector a broad ..." Suddenly, the
significance of his best friend's words hit him. "Oh dear." He quickly ran
to Inspector Thatcher's office hoping to intercept Ray. Too late. 

 Ray burst into Thatcher's office. Benton's superior calmly looked up from
her paperwork, determined to mask her surprise. "Yes?" 

 Ray began his tirade. "How dare you treat one of your own officers this
way? Ever since you got here, you been dumping on Benny! I mean, he gets
your coffee, he gets your dry cleaning, he washes yor car and now the guy
can't even eat cuz you got him doing NAME TAGS! Geez! What is he, your
valet? The man's a CONSTABLE for God's sake! His rank ain't SLAVE!" 

 "I apologize, Inspector," Ben broke in when Ray stopped for a breath.
"Detective Vecchio's been under a lot of pressure lately and ---" 

 "No, don't make excuses Benny! She's gone way too far this time!" 

 "Gentlemen!" Thatcher said sharply. When she had their attention, she
took a deep breath. "The detective's right, Constable." Ray looked
surprised that she actually agreed with him. "DON'T make excuses for him."
Ray's face hardened. "Constable, this man deserves a dressing down, and I
see that I'm going to have to give him one." Ben opened his mouth to
remind her that she wasn't Ray's superior. "Close the door on your way
out, Constable, hold my calls and see that we are not to be disturbed
under ANY circumstances." Her tone was so icy it could freeze an otter. 

 "Uh, understood, sir." He shot Ray a look that said you're on your own
now. He gently closed the door as he left the room. Diefenbaker was in the
hall, sniffing around Constable Turnbull's unoccupied desk for a snack. 

 "How dare you!" Meg began. "How dare you just waltz into my office and
tell me how to do my job?!" She ended up yelling the last few words. 

 "Listen, babe, if you weren't such a stiff, you wouldn't need anyone
telling you." 

 "Why you ... you ... incompetent cop!" 

 "Ice Maiden!" 

 "Poorly dressed slob!" 

 "DRAGON LADY!!" 

 "BALDING OLD WEASEL!!" 

 "OK Princess," Ray spat out, "you like your whole world so nice and neat
and orderly, how do ya like this?" He swept half the contents of Meg's
desk onto the floor. Her lead crystal paperweight joined her papers with a
loud bang. 

 As Ben stood outside Meg's door, he flinched as each word was thrown out.
They were yelling so loud that their voices echoed down the hall. He was
torn between duty and his friend, between breaking up a fight and
disobeying a direct order. Then he heard a heavy thump. Oh dear, he
thought, now they've resorted to physical violence. Though deaf, Dief felt
the vibration through the floorboards. The wolf yelped, jumped up and ran
into Ben's office with his tail between his legs. "An excellent idea
Dief." Ben followed his companion. 

 "Oh, you think that's funny, don't you?" Meg glared at Ray, who was
smiling at his triumph. "Well. you missed the other half!" With that, she
wept the remnants off. 

 "C'mon, toots," Ray snarled. "I only got an hour off for lunch." He
leaned over the desk, grabbed Meg by the shoulders and kissed her
ruthlessly. 

 When they broke away to catch their breaths, she whispered hoarsely "Lock
the door." He reached the door in two strides and locked the door, during
which time they were both hurriedly stripping. He turned around and she
was already scantily clad on the desk, waiting for him. "OK Dragon Lady,"
He leered at her, "Now earn your reputation." They had to remember to to
quiet since Ben was still in the vicinity. "What about the kid?" "Who?
Turnbull?" Meg gasped as Ray moved his kisses down towards her stomach.
"Sent him across town for coffee. No car. Back in 1 hour, tops." "Good
girl." 

 Ben began relaxing since he hadn't heard anymore shouting or any other
heavy objects being thrown. He believed that the pair and calmed down and
were working out their differences like the dignified, respectable people
that they were. He continued working on the name cards. 

 In the throes of passion and coming exquisitely closer to climax, Ray and
Meg began to lose their self control. 

 "Vecchio!" 

 "Oh God!" Ray yelled. 

 "You animal!" Meg responded. 

 "You're driving me crazy!!" 

 At this, Ben bolted upright in his chair. He sighed. Oh dear. They've
resorted to yelling again, he thought glumly. He made a mental note to
speak to Ray. True, the Inspector was not Ray's superior, but she was
still a lady, and a lady deserves some respect. His grandmother's
etiquette lessons came unbidden into his thoughts. 

 Meg and Ray both lay limp upon the desk, their limbs still entwined.
"That was one of the best dressing downs I ever had. Uh, so what about
Benny?" Ray ask sleepily. "Who?" "Y'know, tall guy in red, funny hat,
wolf." "What about him?" she asked. Meg snuggled her head under Ray's chin
and closed her eyes. "The menial labor. He really is a good guy and
deserves better." "I'll take it under consideration," she murmured.
"Understood," he sighed contentedly. 

 When they were dressed and the office was back in order, Ray unlocked the
door. Meg whispered in his ear, "My place, 8:00. Be there." "I'm there."
He nibbled at her earlobe. "And I'll be waiting." She grinned wickedly and
stepped back. 

 "Yeah, that goes double for me babe!" Ray opened the door and stormed
out. 

 "DON'T CALL ME BABE!" the Inspector slammed the door. 

 Ray walked quickly past Ben's open door. "Catch ya later, Bento!" 

 "Uh, Ray ..." But his friend was already out of the consulate before Ben
could catch up with him. As he returned to his office, his intercom
buzzed. "Sir?" he spoke into the device. "My office, Constable. Now."
"Yes, sir." Was it his imagination or did the Inspector sound a bit worn
out? Yes, he thought, sometimes talking to Ray could be a bit frustrating.
He knocked once on the door and entered. "Yes, sir." He saw that she was
still flushed from her argument with Ray. "I'd like to apologize, sir, for
Detective Ve---" 

 "Forget it, Constable." His constant apologizing could become so
tiresome. "We've come to an understanding. Here," she handed him a slip of
paper. "Pick up my dry cleaning and for God's sake, make sure they ironed
my skirt this time." 

 "Yes, sir." although usually observant, Ben failed to notice Meg's new
desk arrangement. Or the paperweight on the floor. "Again, sir, about the
detective---" "Drop it, Fraser," she interrupted wearily. "Dismissed."
"Understood." He made a smart aboutface and left the office, closing the
door quietly behind him. Yes, he certainly needed to speak to Ray. 

 As the door clicked shut, Meg leaned back in her chair, closed her eyes
and allowed herself a small smile. She thought about her recent encounter
with Ray and shivered with delight, anticipating the coming evening. 

 The End 

 Probably impossible, but fun to think about. Comments to gpon@sfsu.edu