Suitable Punishment Suitable Punishment ========================================= A Post "Ballads, Chocolate & Parachutes" adventure with our two intrepid hero's happily married and living together. Enjoy ========================================= Margaret Thatcher watched Fraser wince and hold the phone away from his ear. "Dead, dead, dead, do you hear me, Mister?" The phone went back to Fraser's ear. "Yes, Ray. I'm corpus delecti." "Don't go sweet talking me." "I'm sorry about the coat." "You will be." Fraser sat down the phone. "Trouble in paradise I take it." "My coat, "Fraser tweaked a red serge sleeve "and Ray's formerly white coat were in his opinion far too intimately aquatinted while they were soaking wet after that storm we were caught in the other day." "It's pink now, isn't it," she said her lips twitching. "Along with the rest of his suit, his shirt and socks. But it's not as bad as it was.. I spent two day's bleaching it all trying to get it out before he found out what happened to his *brand new* suit.." She tossed the phone book on the desk. "What is that for." "Look under A, for Airlines, I'm sure there's a flight out of the country to somewhere nice and safe, like Zimbabwe." *)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(* Huey looked over Ray's rather fetching pink coat. Or at least it was fetching in Huey's opinion. "Nice shade. But wasn't that coat white last week." "It mated with Fraser's in the laundry." Huey laughed. "That's the last time I trust him with my laundry." Dewey stared at Ray's coat when he arrived. "It mated with Fraser's in the laundry," Huey informed him. "That explains it." Ray's seat went out and he put his legs up on the desk. Huey started slapping the desk in laughter when he saw Ray's trousers were a matching shade of pink. Then Ray pulled the legs up to reveal baby pink socks. "They had babies." Huey pointed at Ray. "You know it's true love when he wears it even though it was given a colour change when his lover's washing." "That's Spouse or Husband." "Nah, it's Spouse or Husband when the sum total of your relationship is sitting at the breakfast table reading papers and saying "Coffee?" It's Lover's and Love Birds when you're still at the billing and cooing stage." "If he turns any more of my clothes pink, I'll be billing him alright." Huey and Dewey laughed. *)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(* Huey was walking past a storage closet when he heard Ray's voice. "Hey Jack." Huey looked around to see Ray's head poking around the door of the closet. "Nice coat, can I borrow it." "No." "Pretty please." "Forget it, you go through more suits than anyone I know." "Blame Fraser and give me the damn coat already." "Why?" "Don't make me tell Dewey you're as Gay as the day is long, Jack." Huey handed over the coat, out came Ray's naked arm and snatched it. Huey crossed his arms and waited. Ray walked out in the coat, and not much else. "Is Fraser in that closet?" "No. My suit disintegrated. I barely made it to this closet in time before it fell to bits on me." "Do they make Fraser proof suits?" "I haven't found one yet," Ray said before scuttling off hoping he could reach the locker room and his spare suit without running into any ladies. His wish was not to be granted. He bolted down the corridors with a few bumps and bruises to shouts of "Flasher, Pervert and Nice Legs." *)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(* Contrary to Ray's threats, he didn't kill Fraser, and Fraser was dying of anticipation, waiting for Ray to take his revenge. But Ray was sweetness and light, showing him an invitation he'd received from the GCU. "What is a GCU?" "Gay Cops United. I got it with a membership form in the mail today. And a very nice letter telling me what an woooonderful example a nice *married* couple in the collective would be." "Oh.. What is the invitation to?" "A big barbecue. Huey told me I should go. Cause they're a lot of fun." "Huey." "Yeah, whaddya know he's a card carrying member. And hoping he meets some cute cop who's single and looking at the barbecue." "And Dewey?" Ray snickered. "Dewey was all you could have told me you were *Gay*." "Oh." "Then three women shrieked, he's *Gay* Waaah. Why are all the cute ones gay?!!!" Fraser laughed. "Then someone said, Fraser's Gay. And they said Exactly, then that someone said, I meant Ray. Not the Mountie. And they said point taken." "Well I think you're very cute," Fraser said kissing his nose. "You're prejudiced." "I only married you for your looks you know." "Oh, tell me more." "And your body." "Mhmm.. any particular part?" "I love every part of your body." Then he licked Ray's ear. "Especially when it's covered in this." Fraser brought the bottle of chocolate body paint he'd brought on his way home out from behind his back. Ray's eyes lit up. *)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(* Fraser thought he was off the hook, until the barbecue. Ray snuck up behind him and smeared a little something Deif couldn't resist on the tail of his serge coat. Deif jumped up to bite it and Fraser spun. With a little snick the whole coat came apart at the seams. Fraser gave a wail. "My coat!" Ray patted his dark serge covered rump. "I like your white shirt." Then he tugged and Fraser's pant's came apart. Leaving him standing there in his shorts, the shorts Ray had brought him the day before and kissed him into agreeing to wear that day. They were covered in little smiley faces and have a nice day's. Fraser spun and with an evil little grin, Ray tweaked on Fraser's white undershirt and it fell apart too. There were whistles and claps. Then Ray patted the now feircely blushing Fraser on the face. "That's the last time you bleach one of my suits." Then he walked off cackling "Revenge is sweet." ==============(*)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(*)============ Copyright Red Skye May 4, 1998. All the usual disclaimers apply. The character's belong to Alliance. I was a good girl, I didn't do anything horrible to your toys, and I promise to put them back on the shelf nice and tidy. Minus their clothes, but nice and tidy. :) Return to Due South Fiction Archive