Blame It On The Mistletoe (A short, round figure steps timidly from the shadows and waves hesitantly) Hi! My handle is Kender and I have been a lurker here for several months now. I've really enjoyed what I've been reading and have decided to add my own attempt to the list. It's a sappy little Christmas piece that hit me as I was driving home on Christmas Eve (It's amazing how active the mind gets on an hour long drive at 10:30 pm. The song mentioned at the end was playing on the radio and *IS* what inspired this story.) I hope you enjoy it. If you do - please let me know (that way Mooncat can maybe use it to get me to post again) just put "Kender" in the subject line so Mooncat knows what file to send it to. If you *don't* like it - PLEASE be kind. Kenders have notoriously fragile egos. As always, these characters do not belong to me (I only *WISH* they did) and no profit was made in the writing of this story (So please don't sue me. I'm poor enough as it is). Well, I think that about covers it, so...on to the story. (Kender steps quietly back into the shadows letting the spotlight fall onto two handsome figures - one dressed in grey Armani, the other in Mountie red). * * * * * * * * * * * Blame It On The Mistletoe A sweet and sappy Due South Christmas story by "Kender" Warning m/m explicit relationship (NC-17) (Honestly, it's there. You just have to wait for it.) "Come on Fraser. It'll be fun." "Thank you kindly for the invitation Elaine but I really don't think..." "Benny," interrupted a familiar voice from behind him, "don't bother arguing with her. She won't take no for an answer. I've already tried." Constable Benton Fraser turned to face his friend, Chicago detective Ray Vecchio, "But Ray, isn't this suppose to be a *precinct* Christmas party?" Elaine Besbriss smiled brightly, "Sort of. Several of the other officers have invited friends along. Besides Fraser, if anyone deserves to be an honorary member of this department, it's you. Without your influence we'd still be dealing with 'Detective Grinch' over there." Fraser reguarded her with confused blue eyes and Ray glared at the grinning civilian aide, "Keep it up Elaine and you'll find your computer crashed some morning." Elaine laughed, "I'd like to see you try it Mr. Smith Corona." Ray grinned wickedly, "I wasn't talking about the programs Elaine." "You wouldn't!" "Ray..." "Relax Benny, she knows I wouldn't really do it...she hopes." Fraser looked worriedly between the two, relaxing as he noticed the mischevious twinkle in Ray's hazel-green eyes, "Ray, please refrain from teasing Elaine." "Sure Fraser,...for now. So," he said quickly, "how about it Benny? You want to come to the party or do you and Dief have big plans tomorrow night?" "No Ray. But," "Great. It's settled. I'll pick you up at 6:45. See Elaine, it's easy when you know how." And with that, Ray turned and walked quickly back to his desk, leaving a stunned Fraser and an amused Elaine in his wake. Elaine patted the handsome Mountie's shoulder sympathetically, "I promise it'll be fun Fraser. We'll see you guys tomorrow." "Thank you kindly Elaine." "You're welcome Fraser." * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * True to his word, Ray appeared at Fraser's door at precisely a quarter to seven. The Mountie motioned him to a chair as he hurried to finish dressing. "I'm sorry Ray. Mrs. Garcia had some problems with her heater and it took longer to fix then I thought it would. I'm almost ready." Ray shook his head in exasperation, "Benny. When will you learn that you don't have to do everything?" Fraser poked his head out of the bedroom, "I wasn't trying to do everything Ray. I was just trying to get her heater working." Ray smiled at his friend's sincerity, "Whatever Benny. Just hurry up will ya? Elaine's expecting us." "Yes Ray." Fraser emerged moments later clad in dark slacks and a cream colored sweater over a blue shirt and tie. He grabbed his leather jacket and a scarf, then knelt to talk with Dief, "You'll have to stay here tonight Diefenbaker. Willie will be up later to check on you. I'll be back later this evening." The wolf stared at him intently for a moment then yawned. "Just behave yourself." The wolf snorted and walked to his normal resting place beside the kitchen table and lay down. Ray watched the exchange in amusement. As the large wolf settled by his feet he reached down and scratched the soft ears. The white canine looked at him expectantly, "I'll bring you something back boy," he whispered conspiratorily, "promise." The long tail thumped happily against the floor boards. Ray looked up to find Fraser staring at him. "Don't encourage him Ray. He's already gotten too soft." Dief whined pitifully. "Don't try to talk your way out of this. After New Years you *are* going to start tracking exercises again." The wolf huffed disgustedly and turned away from his human companion. Ray's laughter echoed lightly in the small apartment and Fraser reveled in the joyous sound. It had been too long since Ray had sounded so relaxed. Fraser was suddenly very glad that Ray had insisted on this evening. Worried at the direction his thoughts were headed, Fraser rose abruptly, "Shall we go Ray?" He pulled on his jacket and headed quickly out the door. "Sure Benny. Whatever you say," he murmured to the retreating figure. He reached down and and rubbed the wolf's head one last time then headed out the door after Fraser. The ride to the rented hall passed in companionable chit-chat as Ray relayed the latest Vecchio household Christmas fiasco. Apparently, one of the younger Vecchio's had been searching the closets for hidden presents and found a broken shelf instead. Luckily the shelf had held nothing heavier than blankets, but the resulting mess had taken several hours to clean up. The culprit had been confined to his room for the remainder of the evening. Fraser enjoyed hearing the stories of the boisterous household. Being an only child, he'd never known the kind of frantic, free-for-all exuberance that Ray often described. The warmth that radiated from Ray as he talked of his nieces and nephews always made Fraser smile, and he wondered if anyone would ever speak of him with that kind of loving warmth. He shook off the gloomy thoughts and concentrated on Ray's story. They reached the hall at 7:15pm and Ray parked the Riv as close to the door as he could. They walked into the brightly lit hall and were greeted by a smiling Elaine. Her brown hair was pulled back in a softly curling knot entwined with red ribbon. The flowing red dress was cut demurely but flatteringly. Ray couldn't help but stare at the lovely woman, "Elaine, you look stunning. The civilian aide uniform does *NOT* do you justice." Elaine beamed at Ray's praise, "Thank you kind sir." She took his overcoat and Fraser's leather jacket and hung them on the rack behind her, "I was beginning to think you two weren't coming. I'm glad I was wrong." She looked the Italian detective over critically. The dark grey suit was well tailored and emphasized his narrow waist and hips. The green silk shirt emphasized his hazel-green eyes and made them sparkle and dance. She had to admit he looked good. "You clean up pretty well Vecchio," she teased. She surprised the smiling detective by wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him briefly on the lips. "Elaine?!?" She laughed as she stepped back. Her brown eyes glowed with mirth as she pointed to the light fxture over Ray's head. He followed her gesture and groaned at the bundle of green and white hanging there from a golden cord. "Cute Elaine. I wondered why you were being so helpful." "Hey. A girl's got to use every advantage she can." "Uh huh," he murmured unconvinced. "Your turn Fraser," Elaine said eagerly. She laughed as Fraser looked at her nervously. "Oh come on. I won't bite...much," she joked and kissed the blushing Canadian. The kiss lasted much longer than Ray's had. Finally, Ray stepped in, "Let the guy breathe will ya? You're worse than my sister. You know that Elaine?!?" Elaine was unrepentant, "Sorry Fraser. Merry Christmas." Fraser cleared his throat hesitantly, "Thank you kindly Elaine and Merry Christmas as well." She smiled at the flush that spread across Fraser's pale face. "I promise I'll behave myself Fraser, but I just *had* to make use of the mistletoe. And *NO* I didn't put it there Vecchio. But I'd love to find out who did." With a smug smile she linked arms with the two men and led them in to the party. Elaine Besbriss was the envy of many police women that night. Ray and Fraser paid special attention to the vivacious woman as the evening progressed and she positively glowed. Ray was surprised at how much fun he was having. Elaine was an intelligent and observant woman and had a nack for making even the uptight Canadian relax. He had seen Fraser smile more this evening than he had in the last three weeks combined. He had been worried about his friend. Fraser had seemed troubled recently, but refused to talk about it, saying it was nothing. Ray knew better. He had gotten to the point that he could usually tell when something was bothering the reserved Mountie. Ray wondered if Fraser was getting homesick or if he was suffering from the "holiday blues". When Elaine had mentioned the Christmas party he was determined to make his depressed friend go, hoping the festivities would brighten his flagging spirits. It looked like he had been right to push Fraser to go. "Hey Benny," he called, "let's go check out the buffet. If I go back to your place empty handed Dief'll never forgive me. And I hate to see a grown wolf pout." Fraser rose to follow the slender detective, "Ray, you really shouldn't spoil him so much." "Geez Benny. It's Christmas. Lighten up." Elaine watched the two friends with amusement as they moved easily through the crowd. Ray stopped and introduced Fraser to some of his poker buddies and Elaine marveled at the change in the detective. When she had met Ray four years ago he had been a sarcastic jerk, at least *most* of the time anyway. Every so often his softer side would peek through, especially when he was dealing with kids, but those times were few and far between. He wasn't mean spirited, just guarded, suspicious and very driven. Fraser had changed all that. Ray seemed happier now. Oh, he was still sarcastic and a major pain in the butt at times, but he was more open, easier to deal with. He was one of the few detectives who would thank her for her help, or ask how she was. He and Fraser both did and it was nice to be appreciated. It seemed such a small thing, but it ment a lot to her. The Mountie was really rubbing off on Ray, and she, for one, was grateful. She watched the two men and smiled at the ease between them. They looked good together, each a compliment to the other, in temperment as well as looks. Fraser had the boyish good looks and innocence while Ray had the "brooding Italian" features and the passionate fire to match. Their differences made them a great team, and a handsome couple. Elaine stopped short at the thought. Were they? She didn't think so, but she knew from experience that looks could be deceiving. She studied them with renewed interest, watching how they interacted with each other. Ray was as lively and boisterous as always, and having met some of his family Elaine knew it was a survival trait for him. Fraser however seemed just slightly "off". He hung back slightly when Ray went up to talk to people, only stepping forward when Ray motioned for him to. He smiled politely but it didn't quite reach his eyes, or at least not as much as it usually did. As they moved through the crowd, his blue eyes never left the slender form in front of him, as if drawing strength from the vivacious Italian. The Canadian's normal reserve was even stronger than usual, but Ray didn't seem to notice. Or maybe he did, she thought with a start, that's why he railroaded Fraser into coming tonight. She knew Ray didn't normally come to these things, opting to stay with his family and help prepare for the holidays, but she hadn't really thought about it until now. She smiled brightly as they returned to the table, watching them surreptitiously. Shortly after they sat back down, a beautiful young police woman came to the table and asked Ray to dance. Elaine recognized her as one of the women Ray had dated off and on after his divorce. Ray smilingly excused himself and followed the raven haired beauty out to the dance floor. Elaine watched Fraser, waiting for his reaction. He seemed oblivious to her, having eyes only for the retreating couple. The expressive blue eyes reflected his sadness, and something more, for a brief moment, then became shuttered as his normal control fell back into place. Elaine watched Ray as he laughed and danced with the newcomer and wondered how one man could be so lucky, and so blind. She turned to the handsome Canadian beside her and knew she had to do something. "Fraser. Would you mind helping me with something?" "Of course not Elaine. What may I do for you?" "Well," she began hesitantly, frantically searching for a way to talk to him in private, "I really hate to ask, but I've got some packages in my car that need to come in. I don't think I can handle all of them and I'm parked at the far end of the lot..." Fraser smiled, "I'd be happy to help you carry them in." "Great. You're a real doll Fraser." She led Fraser to the hallway, waiting as he retrieved their coats. She pulled her keys from her coat pocket and headed out the doors into the cool night air. She hated lying to the gentle man beside her, but she really did want to speak with him. The gentleman in question fell into step beside her as she walked slowly to her car. She broke the silence, "I'm really glad you two came tonight. I wasn't sure you would." "Ray seemed eager to come so I agreed. He was right, and so were you, it has been enjoyable." His voice, however, was laced with sadness. "I'm glad." She paused, uncertain how to broach the next subject. Taking a deep breath she plunged forward, "Fraser, can I ask you a personal question? You *can* refuse to answer it." He considered for a moment, puzzled then answered, "Of course you may Elaine." "How long have been in love with Ray?" The soft question caught Fraser off guard and he sucked in a startled breath. Elaine's hand grasped his shoulder, offering suport, "I'm sorry Fraser. I didn't mean to startle you like that." "No. That's quite alright Elaine." He took a deep breath and met her concerned brown eyes, "Is it that obvious?" Elaine smiled reassuringly, "No. I just happen to know the signs. Does it bother you that I've guessed?" He thought and looked into her face for long moments before answering, "No. As long as Ray isn't hurt by your knowing." "Fraser, you know I won't say anything. I wouldn't have even brought it up except you looked like you could use a friendly ear. Sometimes it helps to talk." Fraser squeezed her hand and smiled sadly, "He doesn't know does he?" Fraser shook his head, "How could he? I didn't realize it until a few weeks ago. I knew I cared for him. He's my best friend, my partner. Three weeks ago as I helped him with some repairs around the Vecchio house, I realized it was something more. I couldn't take my eyes off him. That night I dreamed about him,... about *us*, and it surprised me. I've never felt this kind of connection with anyone before, let alone a man. It's like I've found a part of my soul that I didn't know was missing. But I know I can never tell him," he finished brokenly. "Why not?" "I think you know 'why not' Elaine. He would never accept that kind of relationship. It goes against everything he is." "You might be surprised Fraser." "No. I don't think so, not in this case. And I won't risk his friendship to find out. May I ask how you knew?" Elaine smiled, "I watched my best friend Gary go through the same thing. In college he fell hard for a guy in one of his classes. He confided in me because he said he needed someone to talk to. He swore the guy would *never* go for someone like him so he wasn't even going to try. Well, right before the end of the semester he got up the courage to ask the guy to lunch. They really hit it off. Later, Tom, the guy he was attracted to, asked him why he had waited so long to ask." "So things worked out well for them?" "Oh yeah. They have a place up in Colorado now and seem to be very happy." "The difference Elaine is that Tom was gay. Ray, on the other hand, is not." "Are you certain?" Fraser just looked at her. "Have you ever considered the possibility he may be bi? Or that he may be feeling like you are? You said you'd never felt that connection with a man before, maybe Ray's the same way. I don't think you realize the changes in Ray since you've been here Fraser. He's more playful, more gentle when he's with you. He seems happier too. But sometimes Ray can be a bit dense. He may not realize what's going on. You have to admit that subtlety can be truly lost on him sometimes." Fraser chuckled. "Anyway. I guess what I'm trying to say is give it a *chance*. I'm here if you ever need to talk to someone. I hope things work out for you, I really do. I think you two would be good for each other." Fraser blushed hotly. Elaine laughed and hugged him, "If you need anything or want me to kick a certain Italian detective in the butt for you, I'd love the opportunity. I can't believe that he's so clueless in this. Anyway, I won't say anything but I'm here for you, both of you." "Thank you kindly Elaine," he said softly and hugged her again. "You're welcome Fraser." "Please, call me Ben." She smiled brightly up at the handsome man in front of her, "You're welcome Ben." Ray searched the crowd again, looking for the familiar figure in cream. God, he never thought he'd wish for that red Mountie jacket, but at least it made Fraser easy to spot. Finally he saw the familiar light-brown haired figure enter through the main door. Fraser was walking arm and arm with Elaine talking easily with the pretty civilian aid. Something made her laugh and Fraser blushed brightly. Ray felt an unaccustomed flash of envy at the warm look that passed between the two and wished he knew what she had said to his shy friend that could make him as red as his uniform jacket. He waved the smiling couple over to the table and eyed them both critically. It looked like they'd been outside, the cool still adding a slight flush to their cheeks and noses. "So, did you enjoy the walk?" he asked archly. "Very much so Ray," came Fraser's guiltless reply and Ray felt like a heel for the accusing tone of the question. "Elaine and I had a very nice walk. The stars are remarkably clear tonight since it is so cool. I think we may be in for some snow later, there were some clouds were gathering on the horizon. There may be a white Christmas after all." "Ma will be happy," Ray replied automatically, his eyes on Elaine, trying to read her expression. No blush. No secret glances. Maybe it *WAS* just a simple walk. Ray mentally shook himself. Not every woman was his sister, scheming to get the gentle Canadian alone and take advantage of him. In fact, Fraser looked more relax than he had in several weeks. If Elaine could do that with just a simple walk, then he'd have to encourage her to do it more often. Something stirred inside him at the thought of someone else being the one to help his friend relax but he didn't dwell on it. He felt warm brown eyes on him and turned to find Elaine watching him, smiling. "Care to dance Detective?" she asked, her eyes sparkling with amusment. Ray felt like he had missed something important, but didn't ask what. He shrugged and smiled his best "dashing smile". He rose and offered his hand to Elaine with a flourish, "It would be an honor Ms. Besbriss." Elaine shot a glance at Fraser as she took Ray slender hand in hers, "Don't go anywhere Fraser. You're next on my dance card." Fraser rewarded her with a slight smile and inclined his head in acknowledgment. She smiled back and kissed him lightly on the cheek as she passed. Ray was so stunned that he didn't even notice that she had whispered something in Fraser's ear as well. He just stood, shocked at the new intimacy between them. Once again he wondered what had happened on their "walk". He led the slight woman out to the dance floor and was grateful for the slow song the DJ began, it let him get close enough to talk to Elaine. "What's going on Elaine?" he asked suspiciously. "What do you mean Ray?" "You know what I mean Elaine. What's the deal with you and Fraser? I mean, I'm glad to see him smiling again, but I'm not going to let you take advantage of him." Elaine laughed, "You know Ray. I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered. First of all, Fraser is a grown man who knows his own mind. Secondly, I would never take advantage of anyone, especially one as sweet as Ben." Ray raised an arched eyebrow at her use of Fraser's given name. "Just don't hurt him, okay. He's been through enough. I don't know what's been bothering him lately but if you can get him out of this funk great. Just be careful with him. You've never had to deal with those big Mountie eyes when he's been hurt. He worse than my little niece when she's begging for something." Elaine wondered if Ray realized how he sounded when he talked about his friend. She shook her head in exasperation, it was like watching Gary and Tom all over again, only worse. Ray caught her gaze and bristled, "WHAT!!!" She smiled her enigmatic smile, that Ray was really beginning to hate, and just shook her head at him. They danced in silence for a while then his sphinx-like partner finally spoke, "Ray, have you ever been in love?" Ray looked at her in confusion, "Yeah, I guess so. Why?" "Nothing." "Wait a minute. Are you hinting that Fraser might be in love? That that's why he's acting so weird." "I never said that Ray." "No, but it would explain a lot." Elaine watched as Ray's reviewed Fraser's actions of the past few weeks. She couldn't help but wonder if he'd finally see what was in front of his face. She knew she'd promised Fraser not to say anything, and technically she hadn't. But she couldn't stand to see him so unhappy, not when the thing that could *make* him happy was so close. If only the two of them could see it. She'd always refused to play matchmaker, but something about these two made it clear they should be together. She wouldn't press the issue, but she had to at least open the doorway, the rest was up to them. She made a mental note to call Tom and thank him for his advice when Gary had been so confused: Sometimes you have to help your friends see what's so obvious to everyone else. People can be extremely unaware, especially where their own happiness is concerned. She hoped for Fraser's sake that Tom was right. Ray's voice cut through her revery. "OK Elaine, spill it. Who is she? He told you something on that walk didn't he?" Elaine could hear the hurt and accusation in Ray's voice. She felt for the slender detective. His hazel-green eyes were shuttered, guarded, a lot like they use to be before Fraser had come to Chicago. She held his gaze, searching for a way to answer without betraying Fraser's trust. Ray was afraid of what her answer would be, afraid of the growing hurt he felt building inside him. Why would Benny confide in her but not him? Weren't they partners, friends? This was the kind of thing that friends shared with each other, wasn't it? He waited for her answer, not sure he wanted to hear it. "No Ray, he didn't tell me anything," she said evenly, adding silently *at least not anything I didn't already suspect.* She watched as Ray visibly relaxed, his eyes dancing with her words. He smiled a sweet, open smile and Elaine noticed how soft and gentle his eyes were. He was an attractive man when he smiled, and she could see how someone could fall for those eyes. She liked this side of Ray, he seemed more accessable, more open. It was so much better than the cold sarcasm he usually showed. She didn't realize she'd been staring at him until he coughed uncomfortably and she watched the color rise in his face. She chuckled at his discomfort. "You are a confusing man Ray Vecchio, a study in contrasts." "What did I do now?" She heard the song winding down to its final chorus and decided to risk one more comment, "You're a good detective Vecchio, too bad you're missing some really obvious clues that are right under your nose." He stared at her in confusion as the song they were dancing to ended. She confused him further by kissing his cheek lightly and taking his hand in her own, "Just keep looking detective, I'm sure you'll find them eventually." She led him back towards the table, stopping short to add, "And I envy you when you finally do." Without another word she walked to the table and claimed Fraser's hand for the next dance. Ray walked to his chair and sat, trying to make sense of her words. The remainder of the evening passed quickly and he and Fraser were soon bundled in the Riv and headed towards Fraser's apartment. They were both unusally quiet on the drive back, lost in their own thoughts. As they reached the run down apartment building at 221 West Racine, Fraser seemed reluctant to break the comfortable silence that had grown between them. He cleared his throat self-consciously, "Thank you for encouraging me to go this evening Ray. I had a very enjoyable evening." "Anytime Benny, you know that. Ah, Benny, you know you can talk to me about anything don't you? I mean, if something was bothering you, you'd tell me right?" Fraser was suddenly glad for the darkness of the car's interior, "Of course Ray." He paused, not sure how to continue, knowing he could never tell Ray what was truly on his mind. He looked out into the darkness, lost in thought. "Well, I guess I'll talk to you later Benny. Thanks for coming tonight." Fraser nodded, shaken from his jumbled thoughts, "You're welcome Ray," he answered automatically. "Would you care to come up for a few moments? I know you have something for Diefenbaker." "Nah, I really shouldn't. It's late and I've got an early shift tomorrow. Would you mind giving it to him? I know it's against your principles, but give it to the big mutt anyway, for me. I just don't think I'm up the those stairs right now." Fraser did his best to hide his disappointment, "Of course Ray. I wouldn't want Diefenbaker to think you had forgotten him. I'll let you go so you can get some sleep." He moved quickly from the car, pausing only to say, "Thank you kindly Ray." Ray could tell Fraser was upset and disappointed but he wasn't sure why. "Hey Benny?" he called, stalling the Mountie before he closed the car door, "you're still coming over for Christmas aren't you?" Fraser brightened considerably, "Of course Ray. If the invitation is still open." "Don't be silly. Ma would have my hide if I didn't include you in with the family. She adopted you the first time you had dinner with us. Anyway, why don't I come over and pick you up Christmas Eve. The weather is suppose to turn bad and that way Ma can be *sure* you'll be there." "I'd like that Ray." "Great, I'll pick you up around 6-ish?" Ray's mind worked for a moment, remembering the number of relatives that were usually over for Christmas Eve dinner and the chaos that surrounded the meal. The prospect did not appeal to him, and he didn't want to subject Benny to that, at least not yet. He wanted this Christmas to be special for Benny, not terrifying. His mind came up with a plan to spare them both, "Why don't I bring over dinner, that way you don't have to deal with Christmas crazed children quite so soon. Trust me, Christmas morning will be bad enough. We could have a quiet meal, just the three of us." "Three Ray?" "Yeah. You, me and the wolf." "I'd like that Ray," he said quietly, not trusting his voice to say anything further. Ray noticed the flush that spread across Fraser's face, visible even in the dimness of the car's dome light. His mind recalled Elaine's words about missing obvious clues that were right under his nose. He looked at his handsome friend, studying the downturned face. Could it be? He wasn't sure, but a slight twinge in his intuition said it might just be an interesting Christmas after all. Choosing his words carefully, he watched Fraser's face for his reaction, "Great. It's a date then. I'll see you Christmas Eve." Wide and startled blue eyes locked with his, and Ray couldn't stop the lopsided grin that spread across his face as he handed the stunned Canadian the wrapped treat for Dief, "Something wrong Fraser?" "No Ray. I'm fine. Please drive home safely." "Sure thing. Good night Benny." "Good night Ray," Fraser responded automatically as he stepped away from the car and closed the door. He stared after the car as Ray pulled slowly away from the curb. His steps were light as he moved up the stairs to his apartment, his mind a whirl of emotions. Had Ray really called it a DATE?!? ****************************************************** The sky was a dark pewter as Ray moved the Riv easily to the curb outside Fraser's apartment building. He still wondered if he was misreading the situation. Was Fraser really attracted to him? He had spent the evening after the Christmas party driving around trying to sort out his thoughts on the matter. At first he was frightened and a little disgusted with the idea. Everything he had been raised with said that this sort of attraction was wrong, but it didn't *FEEL* wrong, not with Benny. Then he had started looking back on their friendship and realized that somewhere along the way Fraser *had* come to be more than just his friend. He had become an important and integral part of his life. In fact, Ray couldn't imagine life without the irritating Canadian. Fraser accepted him, wholly and without pretense. He offered an unconditional friendship that Ray had never known before. It was as attractive as it was frightening. Ray worried that he wasn't worthy of that friendship, let alone anything more. They had been through so much together, Irene, Victoria, plane crashes, hospital stays, and always their friendship remained, sometimes strained but always intact. Could there be something *more* than friendship between them? Did he *want* something more? He still wasn't any closer to an answer but he had the feeling that tonight would help him in that decision. Fraser's happiness and their friendship were the most important things to him and he wouldn't do anything to damage either one. A sharp tap on the passenger's window startled him from his musings and he looked up to find worried blue eyes watching him intently. He smiled self-consciously and motioned for Fraser to open the door. "You caught me Constable, I was wool-gathering. Sorry if I worried you. I am, however, extremely glad to see you. It saves me another trip up and down those damn stairs." Fraser studied his friend intently then nodded, "What can I do to assist you Ray?" "I'm glad you asked Fraser. It's going to take several trips to get everything up to the apartment, so could you help carry?" "Of course Ray." Ray exited the car and opened the large trunk, revealing several plastic grocery bags, a portable CD player and a large picnic basket. Fraser's eyebrows shot up as he looked at the items. Ray laughed, "Welcome to the world of an Italian mother Fraser. Ma has adopted you, get use to it." He handed Fraser the CD player and two of the plastic bags. He took the picnic basket and the two remaining plastic bags. He struggled with the trunk for a moment before finally managing to close it. "I'll be damned," he cried triumphantly, "we *can* do this all in one trip. Well Benny, onward and upward." "Yes Ray." They managed to reach apartment 3J without incident and Fraser ushered Ray into the spartan apartment. Dief woofed happily as they came through the door, snuffing around Ray to see if he had brought any treats, "Just hold on you walking garbage disposal," the object of the wolf's attention explained, "you'll get your present in a minute." Ray set the basket and sacks down carefully on the small kitchen table and Fraser followed suit. Ray grinned at the Mountie, "Now before you get mad, this is from Ma not me." Fraser looked at him in confusion. Ray opened one of the sacks and withdrew a plate of cookies and sweetbread then called Dief. Fraser started to protest. Ray held up a hand, "Benny, she made me promise he'd get this. If it makes you feel better we can give it to him a little at a time." Dief growled in protest but Fraser nodded. Ray selected a large piece of homemade sweetbread and handed it to the wolf, "Just remember there's more of that. If you behave I'll try to talk him into giving you more after dinner." Dief whined happily and settled down with the treat. "Your mother didn't need to do that Ray." "She knows that, but she figured since she was already fixing them, she should send some this way. She said she was doing it for *ALL* her kids. I guess she's adopted Dief too. Well, are you hungry?" "Yes Ray." "Good, cause we've got enough for an army here." "Your mother is too kind Ray." Ray turned from where he was unpacking the grocery sacks, "Oh, Ma didn't fix this, I did." The revelation shocked Fraser and Ray did his best to look hurt, "Don't look so surprised. I promise it's completely edible. Noone's died from my cooking yet." Fraser looked apologetic, "I'm sorry Ray. I just never expected..." "It's okay Benny. I'm just teasing you. If you want to set up the CD player that would be great. It's battery operated and there are CDs in the picnic basket." Fraser moved obediently to the basket and removed several Christmas CDs and started one up in the player. Soft instrumental music filled the apartment. He looked into the basket again and withdrew a bottle of wine and two glasses and set them on the table along with two thick red candles in silver holders. Ray turned from the salad he was preparing and smiled at Fraser's back. The Mountie had set the candles on the table and lit them and was admiring his handiwork. "Looks great Benny." The Mountie jumped slightly at Ray's voice. "Relax Benny. Could you bring me that bottle of wine please?" Fraser nodded and handed Ray the bottle. The Italian poured a portion of the wine into a pan and added a small muslin bundle to it, "I know you don't normally drink Benny, but just the smell of the mulling spices makes it seem more Christmas-y." "Mulled wine," Fraser murmured, "I understand now." Ray just smiled and set the pan on the stove to heat. "Ray," Fraser asked hesitantly, "is there anything else I can do to help?" "No. I think it's under control. You just relax, your part comes after dinner...dishes." Fraser laughed and Ray's heart warmed at the rich tone of it. He hurried in the final preperations, not wanting to let the lasagna get cold. He heard Fraser setting the table and smiled to himself, it felt so "right" being here tonight with him. He heard Fraser begin to softly sing along with the Christmas carols on the CD and closed his eyes, listening to the warm baritone tone. The voice was soft but sure and Ray wondered if Fraser even realized he was doing it. Ray sighed contentedly and finished with the salad. He opened one of the grocery bags to reveal an insulated pan which contained his homemade lasagna. He set it carefully on the counter top and searched the other bags, withdrawing bread, grated cheese and a large plate of homemade Christmas cookies. He felt Fraser's presence at his shoulder and turned to face him, "Maria and the kids made the cookies and thought you might like some. You've become quite popular at the Vecchio household Benny." Benny flushed lightly at Ray's words, "I'm glad Ray. It's nice to have family, even a 'borrowed' one. Thank you kindly Ray." "No problem, Benny." Ray unwrapped the cookies and grimiced at the large heart shaped one sitting on top of the others. The words 'For Benton Fraser' and several 'X-s' and 'O-s' were written neatly across it bright red frosting, "Looks like Frannie helped too. Sorry Benny." Fraser looked at the large cookie, muttered "Oh dear" and turned bright red. He looked at Ray nervously, "Ray. Is your sister going to be there tonight?" "Yeah, but don't worry. She's under strict orders to behave herself. Ma really put her foot down this time, something about taking advantage of an innocent..." Fraser's blush deepened and Ray lost his struggle to keep a straight face. "Just kidding Benny. Well, if the table's ready I think dinner is too." Dinner was a quiet affair. They spoke of past holidays with family and Ray couldn't believe how lonely Fraser's holidays sounded. He had always been surrounded by family, and guessed he had just assumed that everyone else was too. He looked forward to Christmas almost as much as the kids did. He loved watching their faces as they tried to figure out how Santa had gotten everything down the chimney, even when HE was the one who'd been up until 3am puting everything together. He loved helping Ma in the kitchen like he'd done every Christmas since he was old enough to hold a spoon. Pop had said that it was woman's work but Ray hadn't cared, he enjoyed the warm comfort and delightful smells that wafted through the room. Even now, cooking was one of his favorite ways to relax, especially if things weren't going well at work. Ma always encouraged his interest and he had wonderful memories of the times spent at Ma's side, working through some old family recipe. It saddened him to learn that Benny didn't have those kind of loving memories. He vowed then and there to make sure that it didn't stay that way. Benny deserved to have memories like that, everyone did. Without thinking, he placed a comforting hand over his companion's hand and squeezed lightly. Fraser looked at him and the sadness in those clear blue eyes almost broke Ray's heart. Fraser looked quickly away and withdrew his hand, "Thank you kindly for dinner Ray." "You're welcome Benny. Shall we clean up here and head back to the house?" "Of course Ray." Fraser gathered the dishes from the table and placed them in the sink. He filled the basin with warm water and began to wash them with deteched effeciency. The intimacy established during dinner was gone, replaced by an awkward silence that grated on Ray's nerves. He crossed the apartment to the CD player and switched it to radio, searching for a local station playing Christmas music. He glanced out the window, "Hey Benny," he called excitedly, "it's snowing." "That isn't that uncommon this time of year Ray." "Now who's being a Grinch? Get over here would ya? It's really coming down." Fraser joined his friend by the window and looked out at the swirling clouds of white. He wondered how long it had been snowing. Judging by the light covering on the ground, it had not been snowing long. He looked across at his companion and marveled at the change in him. Ray's whole face lit up as he watched the snow coming down. His cynical, hard-edged cop was watching the snow like a kid who just heard school was cancelled. "It's gonna be a white Christmas after all. Ma's going to be so pleased. Well, we'd better get moving if we want to get out of here before it gets too bad." Fraser nodded and started to move back to the sink when a reflection in the window's glass stopped him. Over the reflection of Ray's face hung a bundle of greenery and white berries, the mistletoe that Mrs. Garcia had given him earily in the week. He had put the small sprig over the window to dry and had forgotten it was there, now it seemed to beckon him towards Ray. He remembered Elaine's use of a similar sprig of mistletoe just a few days before. He took a steadying breath and came to a decision, with deliberate steps he moved back to Ray's side. Ray turned to meet him, his hazel-green eyes questioning, and Fraser nearly lost his resolve. Ray watched him closely, laying a steadying hand on his arm, "Are you alright Benny?" The gentle gesture was all it took. With trembling limbs, Fraser took one last step towards his Italian companion, leaned forward and kissed the well loved lips. Ray's lips were warm and still under his and Fraser groaned inwardly at their lack of response. He broke the brief contact and lowered his face, unable to meet Ray's eyes. How could he have been so foolish? He knew that Ray would never accept something like this, he only hoped his own mistake had not cost him his only real friend. He started to turn away but a strong, slender hand caught his arm and held him in place. He refused to look at Ray, not wanting to see the disgust he knew he would find in those beautiful, expressive eyes. He opened his mouth but his voice refused to come. He cleared his throat and tried again, "Ray. I don't know what came over me..." "Benny, don't." Fraser's heart broke with those soft words. He couldn't stop the silent tears that trickled down his cheeks, "I'm so sor..." Long fingers caught his chin and raised it while Ray's thumb press lightly against his lips. Warm hazel-green eyes searched his face and Fraser couldn't continue. "Don't you dare apologize." Before Fraser could react, those warm lips once again brushed his own, but this time they were far from still. Ray's sensual lips teased at his, his tongue flicking lightly against the corners of Fraser's mouth. Fraser moaned and opened his lips to Ray's questing tongue. Ray ran his fingers through Fraser's thick hair, cupping the back of his head, drawing him even closer. Strong arms wrapped around Ray's slender waist as Fraser clung to him like a drowning man. Tenitively, Ray explored Fraser's mouth, caressing, tasting, teasing at the hot warmth he found there. The arms around his waist tightened and Ray could feel the evidence of Fraser's arousal pressing against his hip. He ended the kiss reluctantly but didn't take his arms from around the muscular form pressed close to him. He smiled into those unnaturally bright blue eyes and wiped at the tears that fell silently down Benny's handsome face. "It's alright Benny. It's alright." "Ray?.... I..." Ray chuckled, "Well, at least I know how to shut you up now. But somehow I don't think it's a method I'll be able to use in public." Fraser smiled tentatively at Ray, "I agree Ray. I doubt it would be looked upon favorably." "Are you sure you're okay Benny. You look a little shaky." "It does seem a little warm in here." "I don't think it's the room Benny." "I don't either Ray," Running his hand lightly over Ray's slender hip Fraser searched Ray's face, trying to gague the detective's reaction. Encouraged by the passionate fire he read in Ray's eyes Fraser captured Ray's lips, plundering the welcoming mouth. He moved to Ray's cheek, his throat, pausing to taste the salty masculinity that lingered over the pulse point there. He could feel the detective's heartbeat racing almost as rapidly as his own. He nipped at the tender flesh lightly and Ray moaned, leaning into Fraser's solid body. He cradled the slight form to him whispering Ray's name as he nuzzled the offered throat. Ray ran trembling fingers through the soft brown hair under his hands marveling at the silken feel of it. His whole body was alight with familiar sensations. He could feel the tension building in his genitals as Fraser's hands caressed his hip and back. He pressed his hips against Fraser, shuddering at the white hot flash of passion that shot through him, "Oh God Benny." Lips pressed lightly against his and he kissed them hungrily. He felt Fraser's fingers fumbling with the buttons of his shirt, he moved his partner's fingers aside and started to unbutton them himself. He felt Fraser still and pull away. He looked up at his handsome Canadian, "Where do you think you're going?" "I thought..." Ray smiled at his uncertain lover, "You think too much Fraser. Come back here." "Are you certain Ray?" In answer, Ray reached forward and began unbuttoning Fraser's flanel shirt, planting gentle kisses on the pale flesh that each button revealed. He moved slowly down Fraser's broad chest stopping only at the waistband of his faded jeans. Ray stood and ran his hands slowly up Fraser's exposed chest, coming to rest on strong shoulders. With one deft movement, the shirt fell from Fraser's shoulders and Ray eased the fabric down the well muscled arms and back until it hung loosly at Fraser's waist, held on only by his jeans. He met Fraser's pleading blue eyes and smiled slyly, "Does that answer your question Constable?" Fraser nodded, swallowing nervously at the look in Ray's heavy-lidded eyes. "Good." He kissed the Mountie lightly, his hands exploring the heated flesh, tracing slow, erotic circles on the man's back. Fraser leaned into the caress and Ray pulled him close. "I want to see you Benny. All of you." The head nestled against his shoulder nodded then lifted. Taking a deep breath, Fraser stepped back and unfastened his jeans. Ray's hands covered his and Fraser paused uncertainly. "Allow me Benny," his lover whispered huskily. Fraser obediantly moved his hands away and Ray eased the denim off his hips and down to the floor. The cotton boxers followed and at Ray's urging Fraser stepped out of the pool of fabric. He stood before Ray clad only in his white socks and boots, his arousal clearly evident. He heard Ray's sudden intake of breath and blushed hotly. "God Benny. You are so beautiful." "Thank you kindly Ray." Ray's deep laughter caught him off guard. He looked at the slight man in confusion. "You are one in a million Fraser. Polite to the end." Ray caressed the vision before him and began to kiss the pale flesh once again. He pressed soft kisses against Fraser's collar bone, nuzzling the sensative flesh where neck meets shoulder. Then he moved lower, kissing and tonguing the wide chest. He licked one flat nipple and was rewarded with a soft moan from Fraser. He nipped the small brown nub and watched it harden at his touch. He sucked the erect nipple and felt a tremor pass through Fraser's body. He continued his assault on first one nipple, then the other, until Fraser arched against him panting in need. Only then did Ray continue his downward exploration. Ray soon knelt before his lover's form, planting feather light kisses against Fraser's abdomen and hip. Fraser's erection brushed against his cheek as he pressed his lips to the Mountie's hip. He heard Fraser whimper at the brief contact. Ray kissed closer to Fraser's genitals, inhaling the musky odor of the other man's body. He hesitated, unsure what to do. He reached out and ran his long fingers down the exquisite shaft, watching the flesh jump at his touch. He thought back to past lovers, drawing from how those women had pleasured him this way, wanting to make this perfect for Benny. Fraser felt his hesitation, "Ray, you don't have to do this if you're not comfor....Oh Ray!" His voice trailed off in a broken groan as Ray engulfed him. The warmth of Ray's mouth drove every coherient thought from his mind. He clutched at Ray's slender shoulders, trying to maintain his balance against the flood of sensation washing over him. He could feel the rush of passion building deep within him. His body trembled uncontrollably as Ray's tongue teased at the head of his throbbing erection, bathing it with short, quick strokes then engulfing him, sucking at the hyper-sensitive flesh. He felt his hips begin to move in rhythm to Ray's sucking. He could feel the heady sensation of his approaching orgasm. "Ray..." he struggled to warn his attentive lover. The warm mouth lifted from it's task just long enough to reassure him, "It's okay Benny. Just relax, let it happen. It's okay." Ray kissed his lover's hip tenderly then resumed his attention to the Mountie's straining manhood. He reached down and cupped Fraser's balls, caressing the delicate flesh just behind the heavy sack. Fraser's hips bucked wildly at the touch and Ray increased the pressure of his stroking fingers. Fraser's body trembled and Ray wrapped a steadying arm around Fraser's waist. He felt Fraser's balls tense and braced himself for the incoming release. Fraser cried out hoarsely as the orgasm racked his strong body. Ray clutched at the rounded buttocks, as the first spurt of Fraser's seed filled his waiting mouth. He swallowed the thick fluid reflexively, noting the mild and slightly salty flavor of it. He held Fraser in his mouth until the tremors of his orgasm eased. He ran his lips slowly down the length of Fraser's shrinking shaft, letting it slip slowly from his warm mouth. Fraser slumped against him and Ray eased him slowly to the floor, wrapping the spent body to his chest. Fraser looked at his gentle lover and caressed the beloved face, "Please tell me this isn't a dream Ray. I'm scared that I'm going to wake up now and you'll be gone." Ray hugged his flushed Canadian close, "It's not a dream Benny. I'm right here." As if to prove this point, Ray kissed the full lips, urging them open. Fraser's tongue darted forward, delving into Ray mouth, tasting himself on his lover's tongue. The large Canadian wrapped strong arms around Ray's slight form, then paused, "Ray. You're still dressed." "Good observation Constible," Ray joked. "Why?" "This was for *you* Benny." Fraser reached between them and cupped the growing bulge in Ray's slacks, "I think it's your turn now Ray. If that's alright with you." Ray sighed as the strong hand cupped and fondled him, "Please Benny." Fraser finished removing Ray's shirt and folded it carefully. Rising, he placed the heavy silk on a chair and motioned for Ray to follow him. The detective followed eagerly as Fraser led him into the bedroom. The cot looked barely big enough for Fraser, let alone both of them, but Ray didn't care. He just wanted to feel those strong hands holding him, caressing him, loving him. He stood uncertainly at the end of the bed as Fraser sat and removed his own boots and socks. Without a word the Mountie beckoned Ray to him. Ray stood before the glorious male, head held high, eyes locked with his lover's. Fraser never broke that contact as his hands unfastened Ray's slacks and pushed them unceremoniously to the floor. Ray stepped out of them and kicked off his shoes and socks. It was *his* turn to blush as Fraser's eyes roamed up and down his slight form. He was suddenly self-conscious under the intense blue gaze and tried to turn away. Strong hands caught his hips and pulled him towards the bed and his lover's embrace. The feel of warm flesh pressed against him made him moan aloud. Soft lips kissed his chest and toyed with his masculine nipples. "You are as beautiful as I imagined Ray. Even more so because you're really here." Fraser's words broke through Ray's fear and he clung to his lover tightly. No words were needed as Fraser caressed and aroused his passionate lover. He cupped the perfectly formed buttocks, squeezing them lightly, delighting in the feel of Ray's flesh under his hands. He kissed the deceptively slight chest, feeling the muscles tense beneath the olive flesh. He caressed the strong arms and back, remembering how that slender form had carried him through the forest after their plane had crashed, refusing to leave him behind. He kissed the well known face, running gentle hands over the distinctive features as if trying to imprint them forever into his memory. He pulled the unresisting detective to the bed, wanting to feel Ray against him, needing to feel him. Ray curled against his chest, entwining his long, slender legs with Fraser's, pressing their bodies together tightly. Fraser could feel the hardness of Ray's erection pressed between their bodies and positioned his own rapidly stiffening shaft against that silken steel. He heard Ray's sharp intake of breath as the heads of their cocks brushed together, sending erotic electricity shooting through them both. Fraser kissed Ray deeply plunging his tongue in and out of Ray's moist heat. He moved his hips against Ray's, matching his rhythm to the thrusting of his tongue. Ray clung to him, his breath coming in ragged gasps as his own hips began to move. His body arched against Fraser, and he cried out the Canadian's name like a mantra. He felt Fraser's shaft, hard and solid against his, and delighted in the knowledge that he could bring his sweet tormentor such pleasure. Strong hands clutched at him, anchoring him, allowing him to give in to the sensations running rampant through his body. He heard himself cry out Fraser's name as his body spasmed uncontrollably against Fraser's smooth, hot flesh. Large hands caught his face and found himself looking into passion glazed blue eyes , "I love you Ray." "I love you too Benny." he whispered as he felt the first wave of release hit him. He burried his face in Fraser's broad shoulder, "Oh God,.... Bennnnnnyyyy!" His lovers name fell from his lips like a prayer as he spent himself against the solid wall of his lover's body. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Ray awoke several hours later, alone on Fraser's cot, covered with a warm blanket. He vaguely remembered Fraser cleaning the evidence of their lovemaking from his body as he lay weak and spent on the bed. He also remembered being held securely in Fraser's strong arms and falling to sleep held tight against that broad, masculine chest. He stretched languidly and looked around the room for his clothing. He found one of Fraser's flannel shirts and his own slacks folded neatly beside the bed and smiled at his lover's thoughfulness. 'His lover', he liked the sound of that. He would never regret what had happened between them tonight, and he hoped Fraser wouldn't either. When he had looked in to those uncertain blue eyes and saw the depths of love shining in them, he knew this was where he belonged. He had never been more sure of anything in his life. He pulled on the soft shirt, inhaling deeply at the clean, woodsy scent that clung to it, Fraser's scent. He tugged the slacks on and wandered out to find his missing friend. Fraser sat at the table writing in his well worn journal. Ray stood silently in the doorway, watching his handsome lover with a contented smile. Dief wandered over and nuzzled at his hand, begging for attention. Ray reached down and scratched the wolf's large head. Fraser turned at the motion and smiled warmly at Ray, "Good evening Ray. Did you sleep well?" Ray crossed to the table and sat down beside his friend, "Like a baby Benny. Why didn't you wake me? We're suppose to be back at the house this evening." "It's still early Ray. Besides I don't think we'll be going anywhere for a while. Go take a look outside." Ray wandered to the window and looked out on the white landscape. It must have been snowing steadily since they'd finished dinner. Fraser was right, he doubted they would be going anywhere, at least not until morning. He felt strong arms wrap around him and leaned back against Fraser's chest, "It's so beautiful Benny. Funny how I never seemed to notice it before. But then, I seem to do that a lot." "What do you mean Ray?" Ray turned in Fraser's embrace and ran his hand lightly down his lover's handsome face, "Elaine was right. It was right under my nose and I almost missed it. I'm glad I didn't." He kissed Fraser softly, relaxing into the comfortable embrace. He stood silently in Fraser's arms for a few moments then stepped back, "I should call Ma and tell her we won't be over tonight." As he reached for the cell phone it rang sharply. He jumped and opened the phone cautiously, "Vecchio." There was a slight pause and then a smile spread over Ray's features, "Yeah Ma, we're fine. We got distracted after dinner and lost track of the time." Fraser nearly choked on the mouthful of water he had just taken. "You know Benny and his Innuit stories." Ray shot a mischievious smile at his blushing companion as he listened to his mother on the other end of the phone. "Don't worry Ma, we'll stay put. I don't think we have much choice right now. We'll be there as soon as the streets are cleared." He added under his breath, "In this area that could be sometime next spring." Fraser smiled at his friend's complaint, then laughed at Ray's next words, "No Ma. I was just joking, We should be there sometime in the morning....Yeah Ma, I'll tell him...Yes, I gave Dief his present and he's ecstatic about it...I love you too Ma. Merry Christmas. Tell the kids to be good or I'll tell Santa and I've got a direct line to the big guy." Ray laughed, "Yes ma'am. I promise. Get some sleep Ma, you know the rug rats'll be up before dawn if they think they can get away with it. Love ya Ma. Good night." Ray hung up the phone and turned to face Fraser, "Well it looks like you're stuck with me a little longer Benny. Ma says to stay put until morning." Fraser smiled at his dark haired lover, "Your mother is very wise woman Ray." "Yeah, *I* think so. I'm suppose to tell you Merry Christmas for her." He moved to Fraser's side and put his arms around the large Canadian. He couldn't seem to get enough of his handsome friend. He kissed the upturned lips and felt his body stirring yet again as Fraser's body pressed against him. He took the large hand in his and led Fraser back into the bedroom. Their lovemaking was unhurried as they explored each other's bodies again, learning the nuainces and pleasure zones of each masculine form. Finally they curled, satiated, in each others arms sleepy and content. Fraser's strong hands caressed Ray's back lazily and Ray lay against Fraser's chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heart. As sleep threatened to claim him Ray looked up into Fraser's heavenly blue eyes, "Merry Christmas Benny." Fraser kissed Ray's forehead and hugged him close, "Merry Christmas to you as well Ray. A *very* merry Christmas." The lovers fell into a sound sleep, entwined in the safety of each other's arms. In the other room Dief slept quietly, his stomach full of Mrs. Vecchio's treats. The radio, forgotten by the two distracted lovers, played softly in the quiet of the apartment and a husky male voice sounded in the still night: "Blame it on the Mistletoe 'Cause what happened here nobody knows. How could something simple as a kiss Change my holiday like this? And we held each other all night long And we fell asleep to a Christmas song Playing on the radio. Blame it on the mistletoe." (Toby Keith - Blame It On The Mistletoe) THE END - TYK *I hope you enjoyed it. Comments are always welcome (just please be kind, this is my first fiction post). And once again, Kender moves to the safety of the "lurking" shadows.